Xiao Qin knew that Xiong YaoYue had a low sense of humor, but she insisted on telling jokes at the cafeteria table.
"Once upon a time, a hunter went hunting in the forest and met a bear …"
Damn, it's this dirty joke again! Won't you get tired of saying it over and over again? Didn't the class leader say good kids shouldn't tell these kinds of jokes?
Xiao Qin ignored me and continued: "The hunter fired a shot at the bear! But the bear is very agile and nimbly dodged it! "
Loud Mouth had obviously heard this joke before, and her face was a bit awkward.
"Xiao Qin, let's talk about something else. Don't talk about it in front of Ye Lin, it makes us girls seem like perverts …"
Little Smart propped up her chin with great interest. "I quite like this story. The hunter must have fallen in love with the bear..."
Fujoshi, get lost! You don't take it as a joke, but as a story? In your eyes, the black bear is the attacker and the hunter is the attacker, right? This was a touching and touching scene of love between a man and a bear, right? Gay relationships between people can no longer satisfy you. You have already expanded the boundaries of BL to other species. I once saw a Liaozhai story on the internet. Halfway through, I realized it was written by a fujoshi. The gist of the story was that a scholar fell in love with a pangolin! What a weirdo! I really wanted to poke my own eyes! Pu Songling will be angered to death by you guys! But even if I came back to life, I wouldn't dare to take revenge on you! Because I was afraid that you would write a new story and say that Pu Songling fell in love with Cao Xueqin!
Xiong YaoYue had already finished eating and was drinking her own bottle of yogurt when Xiao Qin said 'the bear nimbly dodged the gun'. She suddenly burst out laughing. What's so funny? Was it because his nickname was "Little Bear", and when he thought of the way he twisted his waist to dodge bullets, he laughed?
It doesn't matter if you laugh, but your yogurt spits out! It came out of his nose and mouth! Gong CaiCai, who was sitting beside you, was caught off guard and got sprayed in the face by you! The white, sticky yogurt stuck to Gong CaiCai's hair, eyelashes, and top. It made Gong CaiCai look like she had been shot in the face!
Not only did Xiong YaoYue not apologize, she even pointed at the stunned Gong CaiCai and laughed! He even planned to take a photo with his phone as a souvenir!
"Hahahaha, look, Cai Cai doesn't look like an actress from a Japanese AV film!"
He didn't even try to hide the fact that he had seen porn before. He probably went to an internet cafe to play LOL with his gaming team and found it on the computer's hard drive when he was bored. You're a little too crude! If you were a guy, you would be sexually harassing Gong CaiCai!
Xiao Qin also took out her phone, "I, I also want to take a picture!"
What are you doing? Is it because Gong CaiCai's breasts are N times bigger than yours that you've always held a grudge against her? Or is it that the Little Tyrant personality in the depths of your heart hasn't disappeared, and you must find another target to bully before you will stop?
"H-how can you do this …"
Gong CaiCai whimpered sadly and took out a pack of tissues from her pocket, wanting to wipe her face clean.
"Haha, confiscated!" Xiong YaoYue heartlessly snatched the paper bag away.
Gong CaiCai wanted to take the paper bag back, but Xiong YaoYue pressed down on her head with one hand and pressed her down on the seat. Gong CaiCai, who was short and had shorter arms, could only watch as Xiong YaoYue held the paper bag in her hand, unable to reach it no matter what.
"Give it back! I … I'm going to get angry! "
Gong CaiCai's threat was not convincing at all, and the milky white liquid dripping from her face made me think of something bad.
"Call me husband and I'll give it back to you!" Xiong YaoYue said while giggling.
While they were messing around, Xiao Qin took a photo of Gong CaiCai.
Then, the corners of her mouth rose, revealing a black-bellied expression, I don't know what she was thinking.
"Hehehe, now I just have to send the photo to Eunuch Cao …"
What does this have to do with Eunuch Cao! Is it because Eunuch Cao respects you as his wife, so he listens to everything you say! Are you planning to give precious material of Gong CaiCai's face covered in liquid to Eunuch Cao and let him PS an even more shameful photo! Gong CaiCai never offended you at all! Why do you have to ruin her reputation! Are flat-chested aliens and big-chested aliens irreconcilable!
At this time, Loud Mouth already went up to stop Xiong YaoYue, but Little Smart put her hand on her chest as if she lost something.
So it was caused by the amount of breast milk! Since Loud Mouth's breasts weren't small, she participated in the battle between the first breast (Gong CaiCai) and the third breast (Xiong YaoYue), while Xiao Qin and Little Smart, who were also flat-chested aliens, were watching from the sidelines!
"Xiao Xiong, you've gone too far!" I slapped the table to get her attention. Since she considered herself as my bro, I should point it out when I made a mistake.
"Huh? Really? "Xiong YaoYue scratched her head," I think it's okay ~ ~ ~ "
That's when you think it's okay! For Gong CaiCai, it's super bad! Although Confucius said, "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you", don't use it the other way around! If you can accept a joke, Gong CaiCai can't! She's about to cry!
I pulled out a pack of tissues from my pocket and handed it to Gong CaiCai across the table.
"Use this to wipe your face, it'll be hard to wipe when the yogurt dries."
Gong CaiCai was stunned, she was abnormally shy, but she gratefully received it. Then I ordered Xiao Qin:
"Delete the photo you just took!"
Xiao Qin immediately pretended to be dumb: "Huh? I just took a photo of the cafeteria auntie! Because she looks a lot like Nanny Rong, that's why I took a photo for my mom … "
You're lying through your teeth! Also, even if the cafeteria auntie really does look a bit like Nanny Rong, what's the point of showing it to Auntie Ren! Does Auntie Ren's crew lack an idiot character who's undefeatable as the sun rises from the east!
I snatched Xiao Qin's phone and quickly deleted Gong CaiCai's photo.
Damn, what an evil photo! If Eunuch Cao really made it into an AV cover, it would almost be the real deal! If it was posted on the forums, there would definitely be thousands of 'begging for seeds'!
After taking a closer look, huh? Why does Xiao Qin have so many photos of me on her phone! Some of me sleeping on the table, some of me playing basketball on the court, and some of me drinking under the shade of a tree … When did you take these photos! There are already hundreds of photos on her phone, I don't even know how many were taken and how many were already saved on a CD!
I was so angry that I deleted all the photos that I didn't ask for permission from my phone.
Xiao Qin couldn't stop me in time, so she laid on the table and started crying, but I knew she was faking it.
"Sob sob sob ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Ye Lin classmate is too much!"
Gong CaiCai, who finally cleaned up her face, was about to return the rest of the handkerchief when she saw Xiao Qin crying. She thought it was because of her.
In order to protect her interests, I didn't hesitate to hurt my childhood friend. In her eyes, I don't think that's how she sees me, right?
"I'm sorry!" Gong CaiCai bowed deeply and apologized to Xiao Qin, "Please don't cry anymore, or else, I … I …"
She finally held back her tears, but when she heard Xiao Qin's cries, she was about to cry again.
After hearing Gong CaiCai's apology, Xiao Qin raised her head from the table. As expected, there weren't any traces of tears on her face.
"I'll stop crying if you give me back my breasts!"
"That, that kind of thing …"
Gong CaiCai actually seriously considered Xiao Qin's unreasonable request.
"I'm sorry, I really can't do that!"
Because Xiong YaoYue, who made the most noise, didn't take any photos of Gong CaiCai, the matter came to an end.
After hearing my advice, Xiong YaoYue realized her mistake and bought a bottle of yogurt for Gong CaiCai as an apology. She also sincerely said to Gong CaiCai:
"If you're not satisfied, then spray it on my face!"
Then she closed her eyes and looked like she was willing to kill.
Of course, Gong CaiCai wouldn't do that. She said weakly:
"As long as you don't bully me too much in the future …"
After lunch, I received a call from Director Cao.
I was originally worried he was going to ask me to steal Ai Mi's underwear again. This time, I would never agree no matter what. Even if he offered me thirty thousand a pair, I would still refuse.
Actually, if I'm not too picky, I could buy Ai Mi's underwear from Obama's mouth as long as I bring some dog food! But I definitely won't share this kind of important information with you!
In the end, Director Cao didn't mention the underwear at all. Instead, he discussed with me about using the viral video "Underwear on the Head, Matchless Martial Arts" to promote 'Bloody Battle of Jin Ling'.
Eunuch Cao and I were just saying it casually, did you really take it seriously?
"Xiao Ye Zi, my son wasn't just saying it casually. Don't look at how young he is, he has a good eye for the market like me!"
That's true, he made a lot of money with the PS nude photos.
"I plan on officially promoting you as Wu Sheng's stunt double and let you appear on the TV talk show 'Little People, Big Dreams' …"
What? I also invited Su Qiao to talk about her journey from being a walk-on actor. Isn't that a show with high ratings?
"What ratings, it depends on the content! Content! Not only do I want to invite you, but I also want to invite your opponent. Then, I want you to wear underwear on the show! That way, the ratings will shoot up to the sky! "
F * ck you! It's more like I'm going to shoot up to the sky! If I really appear on TV like that, I won't have the face to go back to 28 Middle! Don't stop me, I'm going to live in seclusion in the mountains! Don't bother me when the time comes, the hunter and the bear who are in love with each other!
In order to hype up his own short film, Director Cao desperately asked me who the person with amazing leg techniques was and how much money it would take to invite him to appear on the show with underwear on his head.
Damn, he doesn't lack money! He's the young master of the Golden Victory Taekwondo Dojo! Although he often does things like wearing underwear on his head, he would never do it on TV! If that was the case, his father's business would plummet! Not only would all the female students run away, the male students would also leave because they would be suspected of being perverts! At that time, Xu JinSheng would have no choice but to sell his business and start from scratch! Who knows, he might even kick you to death before leaving!
I sternly rejected Director Cao's request and said I didn't know the person who fought with me. Also, I wouldn't do something like wearing underwear on TV, even if you gave me the 2 million from the investors! If you want to do it, then do it yourself!
"Wearing underwear on my head isn't much to me." Director Cao said worriedly, "I've done it before in a Japanese entertainment show … but this time, wearing underwear on my head is useless. Only you, the person involved, would be able to attract attention with underwear on your head!"
After that, Director Cao gave me a lot of conditions, like letting me be the male lead in his next movie. I was extremely suspicious that his next movie would be an AV, so I flatly rejected him.
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