In the afternoon language class, yesterday's class essay was handed out.
The essay's title was "My Father/Mother". Nowadays, the teacher's questions are keeping up with the times and took into consideration the existence of single-parent families like me.
Although Ai ShuQiao's story might be even more twisted and bizarre, it's basically a Sino-American collaboration, commercial war, murder, and pornography mixed together! It would be super eye-catching if it was placed in the tabloids. But, I can't write about her.
So, I wrote at the beginning:
"My father, Ye YuanFeng, is a noble person, someone who has broken away from vulgar interests …"
Don't say that opening an adult goods store is vulgar! We are helping lonely men and women vent their sexual stress and reduce sexual crimes! The harmony of the Republic is half of the police force, and the other half is ours! It's already very noble that we didn't ask for subsidies from the country!
But the parents of other students must have normal jobs, even selling Liangpi is more glamorous than my dad's job (I don't look down on selling Liangpi at all, there is a third year student whose parents sell Liangpi, he goes to the Maldives with his parents every summer).
Am I supposed to write that my dad operates with integrity and will never pass off shoddy goods as good ones? He has never done things like replacing the imported motors of Japanese AV sticks with those made in China. Even the lubricants and condoms that come with the gifts are never fake products or used in futures contracts.
It would be super embarrassing to write! In class 2-3, probably only Xiao Qin and Eunuch Cao know what my family sells! Other people would at most hear that my family runs an online store!
Also, if the language teacher, old man Zhang, who has always had a problem with me, knew about it, he would definitely despise me even more! I've already received a lot of despise because of my ugly handwriting!
So I decided to write freely, what I'm best at is writing freely.
I picked up my pen and wrote:
"My father was the chief designer of Shenzhou 10. The spacecraft he designed was not only equipped with laser cannons, but also magnetic monopole cannons, proton acceleration cannons, atomic deceleration cannons, neutrino acceleration cannons, quark spiral cannons, Goddess of Aurora's Forgiveness cannons, Wanxiang cannons …"
"The US government was scared out of their wits. They immediately sent a female spy to infiltrate China and tried to seduce my father to steal the confidential technology. My father was a man of integrity and integrity, so he rejected her sternly. He was praised by his superiors and colleagues …"
"My dad protected our country by himself, so he was conferred the rank of general like Li Shuangjiang. Now, all the neighbors call my dad General Ye …"
"That's why I'm the son of the general. If my essay didn't get a high score, I might have done the same thing as Li Tianyi …"
"Anyway, my dad is a great man. I've gathered enough words. Let's end it here …"
Come to think of it, I really messed up yesterday's composition! So it's because he accidentally gave the bikini to the class leader and her good impression of him dropped, so he's venting in his essay? What kind of comments will I get on this kind of essay!
He picked up the draft paper and took a closer look. Old Man Zhang had drawn a big "X" at the end of the article and commented,
"Nonsense, a bunch of lies!"
"First of all, the chief designer of Shenzhou 10 is Zhang Bainan. It has nothing to do with your dad, or is he your real dad?"
"Also, Li Shuangjiang isn't a general. China doesn't have any civilian generals, so don't listen to the misconceptions of society."
"Finally, 'Aurora's Forgiveness' was a low-level mistake made by the translator of 'Saint Seiya'. The correct translation of 'Aurora Execution' should be 'Aurora's Execution'. This is what happens if you don't study hard when you're young!"
Damn, old man Zhang, you're insane! You corrected so many mistakes in an essay of less than 400 words! I don't care about the ones in front, but how do you know about the joke of 'Saint Seiya'? Could it be that your child asked you about this?! Also, you're a language teacher, so why are you correcting my English mistakes? Or do you think anyone can correct my English mistakes?
I'm not sure if I'm the only one who bragged in the essay, but old man Zhang asked everyone to bring the essays home for their parents to sign so they can see how their children see them.
What a scam! Good thing I didn't write that my dad was an invincible superman from Krypton! Although it's a bit excessive to say my dad was the chief designer of Shenzhou 10, but it should be easy to trick my usually muddle-headed dad into signing.
I saw that Xiao Qin was also frowning, so I took a peek at her paper.
On the paper was impressively written:
"My dad is a famous movie actor …"
Huh? Xiao Qin's dad is a movie actor? I never knew about it before! But I did hear that Auntie Ren only became a martial arts director after getting married!
Could it be that she's different from me? Even after her parents divorced, she still has a good relationship with her father? Generally speaking, shouldn't you write about your mother who has been living with you the whole time?
The next line was written:
"My mom is an internationally famous mangaka, her pen name is teacher Shui Qin …"
Damn, so it wasn't written from my point of view! It was written from our future child's point of view!
Although I don't have the confidence to become a famous movie actor, it's still better than you becoming a mangaka! Looks like I have to work harder, otherwise our family of three will starve!
"My father and mother loved each other very much. Whether they were watching TV on the sofa, cooking in the kitchen, or admiring the scenery on the balcony, they often couldn't help but hug each other. After that, I was chased into the study to study. I don't know what they did after that …"
Damn, is this how I look after getting married! Do I have to be in heat 24 hours a day!
"Because I was chased into the study a lot, I unintentionally finished reading a lot of books and graduated from university at 13 …"
Was it because his parents were too lascivious that they created a child prodigy? I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed to have this kind of child!
"Other than using manga to make readers wish they were dead, my mom's favorite hobby is to hold my hand and go to the police station to find a big sister with long black hair. She would make me call her auntie and would always ask her 'class leader, when are you planning on getting married?'"
Is she purposely showing off in front of the class leader! Through the mouth of an imaginary child, he had accidentally said his true thoughts!
"Also, yesterday, my dad pushed my mom down on the dining table, so I had to go to the study to study halfway through. Also, I might have a younger brother or sister …"
Bastard! Is this how you teach your child! What if it negatively affects your child's growth! Is it not enough to have one, you want to have two? I'll be punished by the family planning committee! Do you really think my dad is a general!
Ahhhhh! Now that milk powder is so expensive, I have to work even harder! I already had a hard time raising a dog, let alone raising a child!
Wait, why was she affected by Xiao Qin's composition! Even she was worried about how to get her mother to sign it!
Old man Zhang's comments were even more eye-catching:
"This is an illness, it needs to be treated."
Damn, old man Zhang, you have a good eye! Although I don't know who 'teacher Shui Qin' is referring to, I can tell Xiao Qin is sick! I also agree to send Xiao Qin to the abnormal human research center to treat her illness! When the time comes, the class leader and I will visit her during the holidays!
"Sigh." Xiao Qin sighed, "Looks like I can only put this composition in the time machine in my drawer and hope my future mother will sign it …"
Do you have a time machine in your drawer! If you do, please go back in time and warn your childhood self not to bully me! That way, I wouldn't have to have this fiendish expression, and I would also leave a glimmer of hope for my childhood friend to become my wife!
Xiao Qin was dejected all the way until school ended. She didn't know how her mother would criticize her after reading the composition that needed to be signed.
It was easy for me to get my dad's signature, but we had to move somewhere. One was to call my dad to come home, and the other was to go to his hotel.
After thinking about it, I felt that I should go to his hotel without notifying him beforehand. First, it would give him a surprise, and second, it would be a surprise check to see if he was drinking without restraint when I wasn't around.
When I went home to organize my things, I inadvertently found the black sunglasses that Ai Mi gave me last time.
According to Captain Guo SongTao's analysis, the main reason why I look scary is between my eyebrows. I have a habit of frowning, as if I am angry at any time. Also, my eyes always have the words' death to those who offend me 'engraved in them.
So, if I use sunglasses to cover my eyes, maybe people will mistake me for a good person!
Since I don't have anything important to do today, I might as well wear sunglasses and see how it works!
I was wearing sunglasses and carrying a shoulder bag. When I turned the corner and was about to hail a taxi, an old man trembled as he approached me.
"Young man, how do I get to Pu Tai South Street?"
Someone … is asking me for directions!? An old man with a head full of white hair and a frail body actually didn't avoid me, but asked me for directions!!
Ever since I changed my appearance, no one has ever asked me for directions!
The only time was when it was too dark, an elementary school student asked me for directions to the base's internet cafe. As a result, after he saw my face, he knelt down and begged for mercy!
It's been at least two years, right? No one has asked me for directions in two years!
Will there be a day when I can enjoy the treatment of being asked for directions by someone else? So God does exist! I'm so excited, so sad, so melancholy, my cheeks are streaming with tears!
When the old man saw two lines of tears flowing out from under my sunglasses, he was so scared that he almost returned to his youth and jumped back ten feet.
Since then, there has been a love story about Pu Tai South Street circulating in the streets of Dong Shan city. The content of the story varies, but the ending is exactly the same: When the young man heard the words' Pu Tai South Street 'from the person asking for directions, he shed sad tears …
Sad my ass! There are only Love Pet Hospital, Shangdao Cafe, and Ru Jia Hotel on Pu Tai South Street!
I shed sad tears, was it because I didn't take advantage of the fact that the class leader had a good impression of me to take her to Ru Jia Hotel!
If that's the case, then it's not something that can be forgiven by tears! The price of doing that is getting shot in between the eyebrows, and then tears of blood will flow out of all the orifices of my body!
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