"(* ^ _ _ ^ *) Hehe … I didn't notice it before, but now that Ye Lin classmate has shaved your head, I feel like Ye Lin classmate's head is so round! That's why we hit it off so well, right? "
In my bedroom, Xiao Qin said as she applied ointment to my bald head.
"Stop being so talkative." I moved my neck that was numb from sitting for too long, "Apply the ointment properly, and … did you apply too much? Why do I feel like my head is wrapped in cement? "
"Ye Lin classmate, don't be so finicky." Xiao Qin grabbed my shoulders from behind and didn't let me move, "If you don't obediently apply the ointment, what if your hair doesn't grow back in the future? A bald head doesn't look good in a wedding dress! "
It seems like she's still thinking about marrying me. Shouldn't a young high school student have more ambitious goals?
So I changed the topic and asked Xiao Qin if she had made any progress in her manga career.
"Yeah, I uploaded the third chapter of 'Detective Li Ergou' online yesterday. The reaction from the readers was very enthusiastic. A lot of people left praises such as' please accept my kneel ',' no one has ever done it before ',' poking my own dog's eye '…"
"Hey! The first two sentences can barely be considered praises, but the last sentence is obviously mocking your poor drawing skills! You're still a manga author who has been serializing for two years, why don't you have any self-awareness! "
Xiao Qin made a small animal-like protest, but she didn't stop applying the ointment.
"It's Ye Lin classmate's comprehension ability that's too bad! The reason why the readers commented that they wanted to 'poke their own dog eyes' was definitely because they felt that my painting skills were unparalleled and shocking. After seeing my paintings, they felt that there was nothing else worth looking at with their eyes in the future. Therefore, they poked their own eyes so that they could remember this moment when they admired my work … "
Your face is as thick as a city wall! Xiao Qin, your face is comparable to Sister Feng's! What kind of aesthetic sense would make you feel like you won't be able to see anything more beautiful than your manga in the future!
"But detective manga is really hard to write, it's giving me a headache thinking about it."
Xiao Qin wanted to knock on her head to show her annoyance, but because of the ointment on her palm, she had to give up.
"Detective Li Ergou" was just like its name. It was a very rustic detective comic with China characteristics. It was mainly about Li Ergou solving various neighborhood disputes, determining who stole Old Zhang's beans and who poisoned Old Wang's ducks. Because he solved various difficult cases, he was widely respected by the villagers.
The victims were only beans and ducks. Could it be considered a 'difficult case'? In comparison, look at Conan and Kindaichi, who were known as the "Twin Devils of Tokyo". Over the years, they had killed at least eight hundred Japanese people, if not a thousand … How could they be considered famous detectives if they hadn't killed someone before?
"Because Wayne had a similar opinion, there's finally a human victim in the third sentence!"
Xiao Qin tilted her head with a smile as if she wanted to receive my praise.
"Should I praise you because someone was killed? Why does it feel so strange? Who is the victim? "
"It's the mayor …"
"Mayor?" I asked strangely, "Doesn't Ergou Li live in the village? Why did you ask him to solve the case when the mayor was killed? Has his reputation spread to the nearby villages and towns by seeking justice for Bean and Duck? "
"Ergou Li didn't solve the case because the mayor was killed. It was because Ergou Li was investigating the case of the official seal theft that the mayor was killed."
"What a strong smell of conspiracy … Could it be a very complicated serial murder case? Ergou Li hasn't even solved a case of a mammal being killed. Isn't it a bit forced to solve a case of a human being being killed? "
Xiao Qin shook her head, "It's not forced! It's not forced at all! Because the case happened in front of Ergou Li, the facts are very clear! "
"Damn! The culprit is too daring! He actually dared to murder the imperial court in broad daylight! What's the truth? "
"It's not like what Ye Lin classmate is thinking ~ ~ By the way, Ergou Li went to the town's anorectal doctor to treat his hemorrhoids …"
"Why is it treating hemorrhoids again! Didn't you just give Cthulhu hemorrhoids in 'Cthulhu Also Wants to Fall in Love'? Can't you be the main character of your manga if you don't have hemorrhoids? What kind of damn unspoken rule is this! "
"Don't mind the details (っ ^ っ). I also heard that the chances of young people getting hemorrhoids are quite high. My cousin got internal and external hemorrhoids because he sat too much. He recently had to go for surgery!"
That's true, if it wasn't for the fact that I regularly exercise and maintain a certain amount of standing time every day, then us students would have a high incidence of hemorrhoids. Eunuch Cao used a hemorrhoid outbreak as an excuse to ask for leave from the teacher, although I don't know if it's true or not …
"After Ergou Li went to town to apply the hemorrhoid ointment …"
"Hey! You're applying ointment to my head, and now you're saying that Ergou Li applied hemorrhoid ointment — — it'll make me think of bad things! "
"It's just a coincidence! Also, no matter what the problem is, I'll be responsible for applying the ointment! I'll also do my best and apply the hemorrhoid ointment very gently! "
"Stop dreaming! I'll strictly control the time I sit in a chair and I won't get hemorrhoids in my lifetime! "
Then Xiao Qin continued to talk about why Ergou Li caused the mayor's murder case.
"After Ergou Li applied the hemorrhoid ointment, he felt a chill in his butt and his cerebral cortex accelerated. Therefore, he felt that it was a pity that he couldn't use his clever brain to solve the case in town. After he heard from an old man that the mayor's seal was stolen, he went to the mayor's building."
"The mayor's building was splendidly built, it was comparable to the White House in the United States. There was a musical fountain in front of the building, and there was a large lawn behind the building. After you entered the building, you could see several bonsai rockery. It seems that the placement was also guided by a feng shui master."
Xiao Qin made it sound very exaggerated, but in fact, the expression of the manga was thousands of miles away. The so-called mayor's building that looked like the White House was just a crooked building with the word "White House" written on it. The fountain, lawn, bonsai rockery were also the same. If the reader didn't write on it, they wouldn't know what was drawn.
"Ergou Li encountered a bit of trouble when he entered the mayor's building. The guard on duty said that unauthorized people weren't allowed to enter, so Ergou Li lied to the guard and said that he was an observer sent by the province. Because Ergou Li's walking posture was very strange because of the hemorrhoid ointment, he looked like a leader who didn't work all day, so the guard believed him and let him in."
Why does he walk like a leader when he has hemorrhoids?! Does a leader have to behave with his tail between his legs?!
"The mayor didn't know the depth of Ergou Li, so he let his secretary — — parenthesis man, end of parenthesis — — to test Ergou Li. As a result, when Ergou Li and the mayor's secretary were talking in the study, his keen sense of smell smelled a dead mouse behind the bookcase, so he mysteriously said: 'I smell something rotten …'"
"It's okay if the mayor's secretary didn't listen, but as soon as he heard it, he immediately knelt down in front of Ergou Li! The secretary begged: Observer, please investigate! The corruption was all done by the mayor himself! It has nothing to do with me! I'm willing to be a witness, please give me a way out! "
Damn! Is this still a detective manga! This is a political satire manga okay! Xiao Qin, if you draw manga like this, be careful of the relevant departments checking your water meter!
Wait, I'm living with Xiao Qin now, her house is my house. If they check Xiao Qin's water meter, wouldn't they also check me?
Anyway, I won't let Xiao Qin be taken away by the relevant departments. Her current identity is my recognized sister. If anyone wants to take my sister away, even if I have to violate all human laws, I will stop them!
Xiao Qin continued to talk about how the mayor walked into a dead end because of Ergou Li's arrival.
"After the mayor's secretary knelt down in front of Ergou Li, Ergou Li was very surprised, but because his cerebral cortex was stimulated by the hemorrhoid ointment, his reasoning ability was strengthened, and he quickly understood that he came to a nest of corruption …"
Why is the hemorrhoid ointment able to stimulate the cerebral cortex?! In terms of the human body structure, the chrysanthemum is a bit far from the brain! After hearing what you said, my chrysanthemum was a bit itchy after the ointment was applied to my head!
"… While Ergou Li found it funny, he half-jokingly said to the mayor's secretary: Do I look like someone from the Central Disciplinary Commission's anti-corruption office?"
"As a result, the mayor next door had been eavesdropping on the movements in the study. When he heard the words' Central Disciplinary Commission's anti-corruption office ', he had a mental breakdown and directly jumped out of the third floor window! Because he was too fat, he fell and became a meat patty! How pitiful! "
Pitiful my ass! Only an author like you has no right to say pitiful! Didn't you draw him to death?! Also, haven't you heard of the experiment where two iron balls fell at the same time in the Leaning Tower of Pisa?! Even if you're bad at physics, you should have heard of it! Because that's a text from the fourth grade of primary school literature! The mayor wouldn't have died so tragically just because he was fat! If he fell from the third floor, he would at most become a roujiamo!
"Mhmm, that's the content of the third chapter of 'Detective Ergou Li'. What a bizarre murder case …"
"Bizarre my ass! A good detective comic was turned into a satirical comic and an anti-corruption comic by you! And strictly speaking, the murderer this time was not Li Ergou himself! Although Conan and Jin Tianyi were wrongly accused as murderers, they were soon cleared! Ergou Li just moved his mouth and scared the mayor to the point of jumping off the building, the cause and effect of this can't be ignored! Won't Ergou Li be traumatized?! "
"I … I don't think so?" Xiao Qin said with uncertainty. It was obvious that she had never considered this issue before, "Because Ergou Li applied hemorrhoid ointment before entering the mayor's building, he belongs to the category of people with limited civil capacity …"
So for Ergou Li, hemorrhoid ointment is equivalent to alcohol or drugs?! Ergou Li isn't even human! 'Detective Ergou Li' is basically a sequel to 'Cthulhu Wants to Fall in Love'!
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