I ate dinner at Uncle Fireball's house.
Dr. Yu called and asked me where he went. I said I went home to get my summer homework and would be back soon, so he didn't need to worry.
What was hard to understand was that Shu Zhe was still wearing women's clothing at the dinner table.
Although the black and white striped T-shirt on his upper body could barely be said to be gender-neutral clothing, the candy pink short skirt on his lower body and the soft bangs on his head clearly betrayed his true gender.
The reason he dressed like this was the result of Uncle Fireball, Fan Chuan, and Xiao Ding's strong request. The minority had to obey the majority, so I could only remain silent.
This set of women's clothing was also bought by Uncle Fireball a few days ago. It seemed to be prepared for Shu Zhe, casual clothes that could be worn outside. God knows what this perverted uncle who swore he would not push down his niece, but could not guarantee that he would push down his nephew.
Could it be that he was planning on bringing Shu Zhe to "play outdoors" and see if acquaintances would mistake him for Shu Sha?
Of course, Shu Zhe, who wouldn't get up early without benefits, agreed to eat with them in women's clothing, but there was a condition.
First of all, he wanted to eat pizza from Pizza Hut. Of course, Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding agreed. Shu Zhe covered his mouth and snickered when he saw the two of them almost fighting over who would pay.
Then, and more importantly, her uncle had to allow her to go home. Especially since her aunt was on night shift today, he couldn't force her to stay overnight.
"Isn't uncle's place fun?" Uncle Fireball said with a bit of regret.
Fun my ass! Shu Zhe will only be played by you if he stays! Your nephew is the fun one!
"Anyways … I can't stay today." I'm not sure if it was because of the training from video chatting, but Shu Zhe's impersonation of a girl was already very detailed. Today was the first time I personally witnessed all of his traps, I was truly blind.
"Xiao Hong, this Italian sausage is pretty good, do you want to try it?" Fan Chuan sat on Shu Zhe's left and asked attentively.
Hey! Don't make traps eat sausages and the like! Why do I feel like the look of anticipation on your face is very evil!
"Don't listen to him! This kind of seafood pizza is the best! "Xiao Ding, who was sitting on Shu Zhe's right, was not to be outdone.
Little Red (I really can't call him by his male name anymore) maintained a nonchalant attitude toward the two men next to her as she fussily used her knife and fork to cut the pizza into smaller, more palatable pieces.
Every time she used too much force and cut the pizza to the side or simply sent the corn on the pizza flying, she would snort and put down her knife and fork in a fit of pique. She would frown and act as if the whole world was against her.
At this time, Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding immediately came over and lashed out at the bastard pizza that dared to anger their sweetheart. They each offered the smallest piece of pizza that they thought was the most perfect. If Xiao Hong chose one of them, the other person would gnash his teeth in hatred.
Uncle Fireball and I sat further away from each other, roughly opposite of him.
Since this pizza was Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding's treat, Uncle Fireball reluctantly allowed them to use his dining table. Anyway, they wouldn't leave even if he didn't allow it.
Uncle Fireball looked at his nephew sandwiched between two pursuers like a budding flower. He complained to me with a bit of worry:
"When did Shu Zhe become like this! I'm starting to wonder if I remembered incorrectly. Other than her brother, Sha Sha also has a fickle sister! "
Don't add unnecessary settings for the class leader! The only thing I could maintain my rationality towards Shu Zhe, who looked 90% similar to his sister, was that Shu Zhe was a man!
If Shu Zhe really was the class leader's fickle sister, I'm not confident I could control myself! All the delusions that couldn't be realized with the class leader can be realized with her! Anyway, I just have to give her money afterwards!
Although the class leader will one day find out I'm having sex with her sister and shoot me to death, I'm sure I'm not the only one having sex with Little Red. The class leader will kill a lot of people in the end, so I won't be lonely after I die.
"Ye Lin, Fan Chuan, Xiao Ding, Tang Jiang, and Su Dongpo! How did you all die? "
Yama, who was too lazy to look through the Book of Life and Death, slapped the gavel and asked the new ghosts.
"18.51mm caliber …"
"16.82mm caliber …"
The answers were either of the above.
Uncle Fireball gloomily expressed: I have nothing to do with Su Dongpo, I hope I don't call him Yama again.
"Uncle, why aren't you eating much?" Little Red suddenly remembered she only cared about enjoying Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding's love and neglected the uncle who just gave her the iPad.
"I'm a bit lonely since you're going back to my sister." Uncle Fireball said truthfully.
"Uncle, don't be too sad." Little Red pushed away the bangs in front of her forehead that were slightly blocking her eyes. This inadvertently made her eyes even more misty.
"When auntie isn't working night shifts, I might come over to stay." Little Red said as if she was caring for an elder, "If you don't force me, it's not impossible for me to occasionally dress like this."
"What!?" Fan Chuan's voice suddenly rose an octave, "Little Red, how can you walk right into a trap!?"
"Yeah!" Xiao Ding also said, "Although Fan Chuan is also a wolf, he doesn't have the right to criticize others …"
Little Red ignored the two pursuers and continued to say to Uncle Fireball, "But I won't easily agree to dressing up like a cat maid in the future, unless …"
A bewitching look appeared in her eyes.
"Unless uncle wants to give me an iPhone 5s."
What the f * ck! You're playing with fire! Are you hinting to Uncle Fireball that as long as I give you an iPhone 5s, not only will you be a cat maid, but you'll also dress up even more shamefully? Aren't you afraid of playing with fire and selling your chrysanthemum for an iPhone 5s?
But thinking about it carefully, if someone was willing to sell a kidney for an iPhone, then it wasn't too bad for Shu Zhe to sell his chrysanthemum.
Although his chrysanthemum was once poked by the perverted school doctor, Chen YingRan, in the name of "prostate check," it wasn't exactly a chrysanthemum …
After hearing his nephew's words, Uncle Fireball didn't say anything. He seemed to be secretly happy, but there was worry in his eyes. In short, it was a very complicated expression.
"Little Red, you can't do this!" Fan Chuan said bitterly, "You can't get close to a perverted uncle for a phone! If you want an iPhone 5s, I can buy it for you! "
"Really?" Little Red's misty eyes widened slightly, and she asked in disbelief as she propped up her chin with her wrist with interest.
"Don't listen to him!" Xiao Ding couldn't help but grab onto Little Red's other hand. The soft and smooth touch made him dazed for a second, but he quickly came back to his senses and shouted to Fan Chuan,
"You didn't even find a job after graduating from university. What capital do you have to buy a phone for Little Red? I'll buy it for Little Red! "
Little Red let Xiao Ding grab onto her hand, as if she was very happy to see the two men fight over her.
"Let go of your dog paws! You damn fatty! "Fan Chuan retorted to Xiao Ding," You work in a crappy pet hospital, do you think you make that much? I think it's only about 2,000 yuan a month? You would have to stop eating and drinking for at least two months to save enough for an iPhone 5s! "
"I …" Xiao Ding's face turned red, "I've already started to lose weight! Besides, my bones are a bit big! The pet hospital's salary is not high, but I can find another job! I even have a part-time job in the zoo pretending to be a fake tiger! "
Hearing this, Little Red covered her mouth and chuckled, as if she thought it was funny and interesting that Xiao Ding went to the zoo pretending to be a big and stupid tiger to please her.
"Pfft! If you can pretend to be a fake tiger, can't I pretend to be a fake Wu Song? " Fan Chuan said disdainfully, "Anyway, no matter what I do, I will ride on top of you. I will never give Little Red to you! I will find a job soon! My salary will definitely be higher than yours! I will be the first one to buy an iPhone 5s for Little Red! "
Little Red did not comment, she only frowned slightly and said to Xiao Ding: "You're hurting my arm." Xiao Ding hurriedly let go and kept apologizing.
I couldn't stand Shu Zhe acting coquettishly at the dinner table and couldn't help but retort: "Shu Zhe, are you publicly auctioning your chrysanthemum?"
"Ugh …" Shu Zhe immediately had a hurt expression and his body hit the back of the chair. He pressed his white hands against his flat chest as if his heart was greatly hurt.
"What did you say!?" Fan Chuan suddenly stood up from his chair and threatened me fiercely: "You dare speak to my girlfriend like that, do you not want to live anymore!?"
"Xiao Ye, you're going overboard." Xiao Ding was too embarrassed to turn against me, so he said weakly, "Little Red just wants an iPhone 5s …"
If you really want one, then work for it yourself! You don't have to send out flyers, you sell trap underwear and video chat with perverts, you can at least earn your own living! You only rely on acting cute to get a man to give you an iPhone 5s for free. What's the deal with that?
Is it just because it saves energy?
You've completely abandoned your dignity as a man! You were forced by your uncle to wear a maid outfit for a few days in a row, and you've worn away the last bit of shame in your heart! It's fine to wear women's clothes and eat with four men. You even openly use your trap identity to hint to your pursuers to obediently give you gifts!
I brought Fan Chuan and Xiao Ding today with the intention of using them as bodyguards, but I never expected they would change sides so quickly and become your bodyguards! You won't even let me touch a finger of yours!
She could clearly feel that if the class leader saw her brother's current appearance, it would be her last dinner.
Starting with Uncle Fireball and me, she would take turns using a shotgun as a blood sacrifice! A sacrifice for her brother's male soul that will never return!
Finally, it wasn't just the appearance of a trap, Shu Zhe was also 'fake' on the inside!
Anyway, it's hard being bullied as a man. Not only does it cost a lot of money to have a girlfriend like Xiao Li, she even broke up with me because he lacked manliness.
It's still easier to be a trap! He clearly knows he's a trap, but there are still people fighting to be his boyfriend. Moreover, he basically didn't do anything, yet he could get a brand new iPhone 5s for free!
Also, when he saw that I didn't manage to hit him on the head, he didn't know it was mostly due to my heart disease. He thought I was afraid of his two new bodyguards and thought I could escape from my control!
Do you want to set up a "Boyfriend's Bodyguard Group" to ensure that you will never be bullied?
Just you wait for it to go wrong! Sooner or later, those would-be boyfriends who were deceived by you will take turns to bully your chrysanthemum! When that time comes, the sex toy store will sponsor you with 1500ml of lubricant out of humanitarianism! Have a good time!
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