Dong Shan Zoo is located in the city center and is the largest public zoo in the city. Due to the director's ability to make money and adopt diversified management, they are still able to maintain a profit even though the national zoo is in a slump. They even have the spare energy to rent pandas from the Beijing Zoo to further attract customers (especially foreigners like Ai Mi).
I wasn't particularly interested in pandas. When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my dad had already taken me to the Beijing Zoo. At that time, I only saw the national treasure poking its dirty butt at the tourists. It only ate bamboo and didn't turn around no matter how many times I called out to it. It was really disappointing.
Also, the panda house at Dong Shan Zoo has a separate entrance fee. I don't think it's worth spending an extra ¥20 — — it only costs ¥15 to see all the other animals!
"Do you like pandas?" I probed Xiao Qin when we were buying tickets at the ticket booth.
Before Xiao Qin could speak, the middle-aged woman who was the ticket seller said with disdain: "You can't even bring your girlfriend to the panda house, is that how you treat your partner?"
She didn't even ask for my opinion and took it upon herself to buy me the tickets to the panda house as well.
I'm disgusted with her forced buying behavior. Even if what you say makes sense, shouldn't you let the customer choose for themselves? Also, even if they suddenly change their mind and want to go to the panda house, they can still buy tickets in the park. There's no need to buy it here.
Was it a ticket sale task from the higher-ups? It's like how the mooncake factory distributes five kernel mooncakes to their employees as bonuses, how much they sell?
So I waved my hand and told the ticket seller that I didn't need the tickets to the panda house. I pointed to the sign next to the ticket booth and said to Xiao Qin:
"Go measure yourself, you might be able to save ¥5 …"
"Ye Lin classmate, you're bullying me!" Xiao Qin hugged my arm angrily, "Although I'm shorter than Ye Lin classmate, I'm not that short! A lot of elementary school students are taller than 1.4 meters! "
That's true, there aren't many people around me who are 1.4 meters tall. Ai Mi meets this requirement, but she doesn't need to save the ¥5, and she would never admit that she still has the body of a child.
I spent ¥30 to buy tickets that didn't include the panda house. Xiao Qin and I went on our first proper date along the circular artificial river in the zoo.
Xiao Qin was wearing a white dress with a sunhat on her head. She looked like she had no bones and had to lean on me to walk.
After stopping in front of the deer's cage for a while, I suddenly realized that the two gang members sent by Xiao Qin's father, Fat Tiger and Thin Leopard, were sneakily staring at us from behind the fake mountain.
They're really haunting us! We don't need to come with you! What danger would happen to us at the zoo! As for your nicknames … be careful that the staff don't let you out if they catch you!
I suddenly thought about how Ai Mi felt when she was being followed and protected by 004 and 005 all day long.
Xiao Qin seemed to have discovered Uncle Hu and Uncle Bao, but she didn't expose them. I just pretended that they didn't exist.
Ever since he started his Spartan training, the zoo, a place he often visited in his childhood, had gradually become unfamiliar to him. This time, when he revisited this place, he made many new discoveries, and his mood improved.
Because it was the weekend, there were a lot of people in the zoo, so some animal performances that were not usually performed could be seen today. For example, two gorillas performed a boxing match with gloves. The winner received a bunch of bananas, which amused everyone. A male elephant performed a spin with its hind legs off the ground. It was clumsy but clever. It took the "contrasting cuteness" route and was warmly welcomed by the audience.
But after watching the elephant turn around a few times, Xiao Qin covered her eyes as if she was very shy.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked strangely.
"It's … the elephant of elephant ~ ~ ~ ~" Xiao Qin said in a trembling voice.
I turned around and saw that while the elephant was spinning, his d * ck was also spinning! Crayon Shin-chan had once sung, "Elephant elephant, why is your nose so long", referring to his penis! A real elephant's dick was very exaggerated! When they were in heat, they were as long as one meter!
"Ye Lin classmate is like an elephant …"
Shut up! If a human was a meter long, it would already be considered a monster, okay?! Moreover, considering the problem of cavernous hyperemia, if it was longer than one meter, it would definitely result in impotence! Where would a normal human get that much blood!
In order to prevent Xiao Qin from saying more unreliable things, I pulled her hand away from the elephant performance and arrived in front of an "alpaca" cage.
The so-called "alpaca" is one of the ten mythical beasts, the "alpaca". Ever since the alpaca appeared on the internet and became extremely popular, zoos all over the world have introduced alpacas as a way to attract tourists. Dong Shan Zoo was especially unwilling to fall behind, they have more than ten alpacas in captivity.
Since alpacas are not very threatening, the railings here were not too high, but there was still a wooden sign that said: "Animals in heat, climb over the railings at your own risk."
I didn't take it seriously. I originally thought it was the same as KFC's "Be careful of slippery ground". It was written like this throughout the year, but when I looked inside the railings — — it really was in heat! Under a tree as thick as the mouth of a bowl, a motherf * cker was f * cking another motherf * cking * cker! Shameless! Can't you guys wait until the park is closed before doing it! There were a lot of children asking their parents: "What are they doing?"
"Fighting." That's how parents usually fool their children. The children would never think that they were born into this world because their parents were 'fighting'!
After retreating from the alpacas, I decided to go see some fierce beasts. After all, for Xiao Qin, as a saber-toothed tiger, looking at her own kind is more in line with her interests.
In the end, there was a strange exercise at the tiger stadium.
The tiger that was locked behind the tempered glass had its front paws on the glass and looked at the people outside with a blank expression.
In the prehistoric anime "Mindless and Unhappy", Unhappy wore a costume and pretended to be a tiger at the end.
There was also a person in front of me pretending to be a tiger, but his tiger did not show his face and his entire body was covered in tiger stripes.
However, it did not look like a real tiger at all, it was 80% similar to the Tigger from "Winnie the Pooh".
The Tigger sneakily hid behind the bushes for a while, then walked out on two legs. He looked around as if he was going to break out of prison, causing the onlookers to laugh.
At this moment, a gunman in a black security uniform ran out and aimed at Tigger. With a "whoosh", he fired a tranquilizer bullet without a needle. Tigger fell to the ground and was carried away on a stretcher by the staff.
"I heard my mom say that Japan did similar exercises before, but it was used to teach gorillas not to run away."
Xiao Qin said beside me.
So it was to teach a tiger? A tiger's IQ is not as high as a gorilla's, so it can't understand your 'performance art'! Also, can't you find a more realistic tiger costume! It's fine if it's a cartoon Tigger, but it's walking on two legs! The tiger might mistakenly think that it only has two legs and tried to challenge the position of the 'spirit of all living beings', that's why it was shot down by the tranquilizer gun!
The onlookers also thought that the zoo's actions were meaningless. At this time, the climax came! The Tigger was sent back again, and together with him was someone dressed in a Beijing opera costume … Wu Song!
While everyone was still in shock, they saw Tigger repeating his old tricks. He walked on two legs in an attempt to break out of the prison. At this moment, Wu Song angrily shouted and jumped out. He held Tigger down and started punching him. One punch, two punches, three punches. Tigger fell to the ground again and was carried away on a stretcher.
Wu Song stopped and coldly looked at the real tiger behind the tempered glass as if he was asking: "He understands, do you understand?"
Understand my ass! How can you be sure that this tiger is the direct descendant of the tiger on Jing Yang Hill! Are you trying to awaken the tiger's family memories by beating him up!
The visitors naturally laughed until their stomachs hurt. They all said that the zoo's leaders were stupid. They even called and sent messages to their friends and colleagues to let them watch Wu Song beat up the tiger.
Later on, I found out that it was a publicity campaign by the zoo director. The goal was to attract social attention and attract more visitors. Needless to say, the effect was great. Several TV programs reported on the news, and even my dad mentioned it to me on the phone. It was foreseeable that the director would once again make a lot of money.
Later, I brought Xiao Qin to see the white peacock that refused to spread its tail and the monkey that only ate pistachios because peanuts were not tasty. Later, I fed the peanuts to the camels — — look at how much the camels enjoyed it, you degenerate bourgeois monkeys!
Xiao Qin was a bit nervous at first because there were a lot of males of the same age in the zoo. But as her attention gradually shifted to the animals, she became more and more happy. In the aquarium, when she was feeding the seal fish, she naughtily took advantage of the moment when the seal jumped to eat the fish and took a whisker from the seal as a souvenir (what a fast hand speed!). To compensate the seal, she fed the rest of the fish to it.
Xiao Qin especially liked the dolphin performance. She waited for half an hour just to get a front row seat in the next wave of spectators. She didn't care even if she got splashed by seawater when the dolphin headed the ball or dove through the hoop.
I thought I would meet Ai Mi and Xiong YaoYue when I was eating at the zoo's cafeteria, but they probably had better food, so they didn't show up.
But when I went to the washroom after dinner, I bumped into Tigger in the men's washroom.
That's right, he was the one who played the tiger in the zoo's performance.
He was wearing half of the tiger skin on his body and he had a ridiculous half-human, half-tiger pose. He was actually someone I knew.
Xiao Ding from the pet hospital.
"Damn, why did you come here to pretend to be a tiger?" I asked him with a smile.
Xiao Ding shrugged, "I graduated from Agricultural University, so I originally had a chance to work at the zoo. Today, I came to see a teacher who's a consultant, and he asked if I was interested in making some extra money … so I pretended to be a tiger."
After a few jokes, Xiao Ding suddenly asked me: "Who's the girl you were with?"
I suddenly felt a bit guilty: Xiao Ding and Dr. Zhao tried to matchmake me with Shu Sha multiple times. If I admit Xiao Qin's girlfriend, then I would be a womanizer.
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