"What? You want me to wear female clothing in public? "Shu Zhe shrieked," Bro Ye Lin, you're being ridiculous! How can you do that! "
I disagreed, "Why not? Didn't you already go out in women's clothes once before? You even went to the women's washroom in the park … did you forget? "
"That … that was after dark, and I was alone! I would be exposed if I pretended to be someone's girlfriend and ate with them! If I'm exposed in public, I'll lose all my face! "
"It's just a meal with a group of otakus, how would they expose you? You've been chatting with 'Cilantro Buns' online when you have nothing to do, so you must have practiced your fake voice to perfection. Also, your Adam's apple isn't obvious, so it's almost like you don't have it. As for your breasts, you can just buy some thicker pads — — as long as you don't take off your pants, no one would be able to tell you're a man dressed as a woman! "
Shu Zhe hesitated, "Even if I could do it, what good would it do me?"
"You can get a free meal!" I said in an exaggerated manner.
"Hmph, I would be an idiot if I agreed to do something like that for a free meal!"
Shu Zhe tossed a piece of gum into his mouth and said while chewing: "Bro Ye Lin, since you agreed to be a pimp, you must be getting paid, right?"
Who's being a pimp! It's fine if there are rumors that I'm a murderer, arson, or selling ecstasy, but I don't want to be accused of being a pimp! At most, it's equivalent to Japan's' rent-a-girlfriend 'business. I'm only doing this for my Dota-playing brothers!
After I corrected Shu Zhe's statement, I told him: "You're getting paid. Xiao Ding really wants to show off in front of the LOL community, so as long as you pretend to be his girlfriend, he'll give you the ¥1000 he earns!"
Shu Zhe's eyes lit up when he heard the handsome reward, then he said hesitantly: "Xiao Li recently took a fancy to imported cosmetics, so I'm a bit tight on money …"
"But the Xiao Ding you're talking about, is he the one that my sister often visits at the pet hospital? The one that blushes whenever he sees a girl?"
I nodded in agreement.
"That won't do!" Shu Zhe became anxious. "I went to the pet hospital to look for my sister a few times, and Xiao Ding saw me! If he tells my sister that I'm a man dressed as a woman, I won't be able to bear the consequences! "
"In the end, you're just a brat of a lower grade." I sneered. "Do you think I didn't think about that? If this matter reaches your sister's ears, not only will you not be able to bear the consequences, my life will also be in danger! Let me tell you, Xiao Ding and I are friends who ate a bowl of instant noodles together in the internet cafe. He will never reveal this! I guarantee that there will be no future troubles! "
Actually, Xiao Ding didn't know that the "temporary girlfriend" I was going to provide him was a trap. I just felt that Xiao Ding wasn't a person with high requirements. As long as he could satisfy his desire to be famous, it didn't matter if it was a man or a woman.
Shu Zhe asked me for a specific time and then murmured, "If there's money, I might as well give it a try. After all, I've been practicing my fake voice for so long. It would be a waste if I could only chat with Cilantro Buns online …"
"That's right!" I agreed, "When the time comes, I'll pick out any female clothing you need from my family's online store!"
Shu Zhe clicked his tongue in disdain and made a 'forget it' gesture.
"Bro Ye Lin, your family's female clothing is either leopard print or silk. It's rare to wear it out. I happen to have a set of clothes that I was planning on giving to Xiao Li, so I'll wear it that day!"
Huh? You're going to wear the clothes you're giving to your girlfriend? It sounded so strange.
"But, you have to pay for the other equipment to prevent us from being exposed!"
Shu Zhe's expression became firm.
"Other equipment? What other equipment? Don't we already have clothes and wigs? "
Shu Zhe's face turned slightly red, "You already said it yourself, why are you acting dumb now? Chest pads! Chest pads! I definitely won't buy anything that comes in contact with my skin. Bro Ye Lin, just wait for my reimbursement! "
Actually, they didn't have to go that far. Shu Zhe was so thin and weak. Even if he had a flat chest, he wouldn't necessarily be suspected. Could it be that Shu Zhe, who loved his face so much, would dress up as a trap and compete with the other otaku girlfriends? Did he have to outshine them all?
You're using your competitive nature in a strange way! I don't see you working out even though you're last in the 800m race!
"Ye Lin classmate, how did you spend your Sundays?"
When she had a bit of free time, she would chat with me in language class with a smile on her face.
My schedule on Sundays was really not as busy as a middle school student should be.
Apart from managing the online store, I was discussing the filming arrangements for 'Bloody Battle of Jin Ling' with Director Cao.
The second episode that I participated in was already online. Although the audience complained that the female lead wasn't actually raped by Jin Ling Young Thug, it still created a better atmosphere than the first episode.
I can't help but admire the makeup artist's skills. Because of their uncanny workmanship, the audience didn't even notice that Jin Ling Young Thug changed actors in the middle of the second episode and I was also saved from trouble because of this short film.
Director Cao wanted to change the script for the third episode of 'Bloody Battle of Jin Ling' in order to catch people's attention. He arranged for a scene where Jin Ling Young Thug and the male lead would fight naked in the stream. He specifically asked me if I agreed.
Agree my ass! I might even consider it if you want me to fight naked with the female lead, but what are you trying to do if you want me to fight naked with the male lead! Are you trying to please the fujoshi audience!
In the end, we both took a step back and decided to change the scene to only have the upper body naked.
"There's been a lot of thieves in Dong Shan city recently!" Director Cao complained to me after we finished discussing, "I just bought an iPhone 5s and it was stolen before I could even warm it up!"
"Who told you to follow the trend and buy an Apple." I touched the counterfeit phone in my pocket and felt a sense of superiority, "If you bought a domestic phone like me, no one would steal it!"
Director Cao rolled his eyes, "If a director doesn't use a foreign brand phone, the actresses will think you're a fake director! But don't get too full of yourself, I used the fingerprint unlock function of the iPhone 5s, so they won't be able to use my phone for a while! "
"Fingerprint unlock? I heard it's easy to unlock! " I said, "Foreign kids can use gummy bears to remove fingerprints from the screen, I'm afraid your phone would've already …"
Director Cao waved his hand and said proudly: "For a high-end person like me, I can't distinguish myself by just using my fingerprints, so I used the texture on my nipples! Serves them right for being unlucky, let's just let them waste their efforts with their fingerprints! "
That was the only new thing on Sunday, but I didn't think it was appropriate to talk to her about 'nipples', so I lazily told her I was sleeping at home.
"What a coincidence, I also stayed at home on Sunday!" Xiao Qin said cheerfully, "I drew a comic about us going to the zoo on Saturday, do you want to take a look?"
She said as she handed over the drawing book.
How should I evaluate it? If it wasn't for Ai Mi's parasol, I wouldn't have been able to tell which side was a human and which side was an animal.
"What is this, is it a gorilla?" I pointed to a black lump and asked, "I don't think there were any gorillas at the zoo on Saturday?"
"Oh, that's Peng TouSi." Xiao Qin replied happily, "Did I draw it?"
Well, it unexpectedly looked like a gorilla. It was already a great improvement for Xiao Qin's drawing skills.
"Ye Lin, stand up and answer the question!" The language teacher called me up again, he just doesn't like me.
"Page 57!" Xiao Qin quietly reminded me.
I flipped to page 57 and waited for old man Zhang to ask questions without fear. Instead, he put the book down on the podium and asked:
"Let me review my previous knowledge — — you hit your dog and it barks, is that an interjection or an adverb?"
My brain suddenly stopped working and I said hesitantly: "Teacher, I've never taught you this before, right?"
Old man Zhang snorted, "I've taught you before, so I've taught you before! Let's change the question, if a beggar saw a dog barking at him, is that a verbal description or a psychological description? "
Huh? Old man Zhang, why are you talking about dogs today! Wouldn't it be embarrassing if I can't even answer a single question? The class leader is still looking at me!
I thought for a bit and replied: "For dogs, it's a verbal description, for beggars, it's a psychological description!"
Just as I thought I was succeeding, old man Zhang sneered and said: "I'm asking you, do you agree with dogs or beggars? Which one do you want to be? "
Wow! You're cursing people in a different way! Didn't I write "I looked at my eyes, licked my tongue, walked to the round table, and said good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to the bald teacher?" in my previous essay, "Contradiction", using a modern writing style.
It's not like you're the only balding teacher! There's no need to specifically retaliate in class!
"They say 'better to be a dog in times of peace than a person in times of chaos'. Many times, people are worse than dogs, what a pity!"
Old man Zhang actually turned around to face the blackboard and muttered.
"Ouch!" Someone suddenly threw a piece of chalk at the back of old man Zhang's head and the classroom suddenly became very quiet.
Although the class leader is a throwing specialist, it's impossible for the class leader to do something so disrespectful.
Xiao Qin used a napkin to wipe away the chalk dust on her fingers while pretending it had nothing to do with her and said with a smile:
"Ye Lin classmate, why do you keep staring at me? If you keep staring, I'm going to blush! "
You should be blushing since you threw a piece of chalk at the teacher! Old man Zhang was only bickering with me, there's no need for you to intervene!
Old Man Zhang was naturally furious, but in the end, he couldn't find out who threw the chalk. So, the whole class was forced to write a self-reflection letter. Needless to say, there was a lot of complaints.
Xiao Qin, who was happily writing her reflection letter during self-study class, was suddenly called to the hallway by the class leader.
I'm afraid Xiao Qin's actions didn't escape the class leader's eyes. Although the class leader didn't point out that Xiao Qin was the culprit, she would still severely criticize her afterwards so she wouldn't do it again.
After self-study class was lunch break. Neither the class leader nor Xiao Qin returned to the classroom. I guessed they probably went to eat lunch together. Does that mean their conversation was peaceful?
But I was stunned when I saw the class leader lying on the ground with a wooden stick in her hand in the crooked alley behind the snack street.
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