Old man Zhang's essay title was "Boundless Love" and the word count was 800. I'm guessing the students wrote about the Wenchuan earthquake, Yushu earthquake, Gansu earthquake … In short, there would be no love without earthquakes, there would be no 'prosperity' without 'difficulties', there would be no way to create healthy citizens immune to biological weapons without letting the people of the country eat poisonous food.
As I stood up with the empty manuscript, the glorious images of countless heroes flashed through my mind.
For example, Cao Zhi who could compose seven-step poems, Zhuge Liang who could argue with scholars, Tang Bohu who could make people vomit blood with couplets, the 'Quarreling King' who could turn the straight into the crooked and the dead into the living (from Stephen Chow's movie "Ninth-Grade Sesame Officer").
I squeezed out an evil smile and decided not to bow down to fate. I made up an 800 word essay to deal with the language teacher.
I've said before that because my dad was good at talking, so I was also good at talking. The reason why my language grades were bad, especially for essays, was because I always forgot the words when I picked up the pen, and I always went off topic and went to Java Island.
"Ahem — —" I pretended to be calm and coughed. I raised the manuscript to the height of my chest and read aloud:
"Boundless love means that love should not have borders. What are borders? Borders are borders. I'll give you an example of borders so everyone will have a clear understanding. The Diaoyu Islands is something within our borders … "
Everyone, including old man Zhang, widened their eyes and waited for me to say something when they heard I could go from the light slogan 'boundless love' to the heavy issue of the Diaoyu Islands.
I became even more nervous after being stared at by everyone.
"Um, the Diaoyu Islands is something within our borders, and our country advocates' boundless love '. I remember the Bible once said, not only do you have to love your friends, but you also have to love your enemies. That's why love is the most important, borders aren't. In order to let the 'light of love' shine on the world, not only do we have to love our own people, but we also have to love people from other countries. For example … we have to love Japanese … "
Xiong YaoYue was using her textbook to hide her drink. When she heard this, she spat it all over the textbook.
The students took advantage of the chaos to start discussing.
"You're so funny, how can we love Japanese! Didn't you say that even if the aliens attack Earth, we will first unite with the aliens and destroy Japan? "
Eunuch Cao defended me seriously: "You don't understand my master's good intentions! My Sensei's so-called love for Japanese meant that we should love Sora Aoi, Ran Mutou, Akira Yoshizawa, Kaede Matsushima, Hime Kamiya, Maria Ozawa … Love these Japanese! One day, when the People's Liberation Army lands in Tokyo, I must sign up as a goodwill ambassador to comfort the Japanese lolis who are frightened by the war! "
"Oh, you want to 'inseminate' them yourself?"
The boy sitting next to Eunuch Cao, due to the influence of his company, was gradually able to say things that were as bad as Eunuch Cao's.
On the other hand, Xiao Qin held her face in her hands and looked at me with admiration as if I was Lincoln in a presidential debate.
Old man Zhang slammed the lectern to make everyone quiet down. Then, he asked me to continue.
I could only follow the logic from before and make up a story:
"Um, since we deduced from boundless love that we should love Japanese, then … let's just give them the Diaoyu Islands to improve Sino-Japanese relations!"
Everyone was shocked after I said that. Only Xiao Qin did not react. I felt like she didn't care what I said at all.
Niu ShiLi was the first to look at me with hatred. I heard that he has accounts on the 'Iron Blood Forum' and the 'Strong Country Forum'. He's a true nationalistic youth.
Old man Zhang laughed involuntarily, "Ye Lin, I remember you used to be a fascist? How come you're a traitor now? "
"I, I'm not a traitor!" I defended myself, "I only deduced this result from the words' boundless love '! Also, teacher Zhang, you weren't happy when I said I wanted to kill all Japanese in my essay. Why are you still unhappy when I say I want peace between China and Japan? "
Old man Zhang rubbed his chin and looked around as if he was not only reprimanding me, but also everyone present.
"It's not the time for you youngsters to make rash comments about international politics. The more you are a student, the calmer you need to be, do you understand?"
"We got it!" The students were intimidated by old man Zhang's despotic power and all replied in unison. But not everyone shouted loudly. The class leader's lips moved, but she did not say anything.
On the other hand, Xiong YaoYue shouted louder than anyone else. It was as if she could win a competition if she shouted herself hoarse.
"I'll calm down!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs as if she was on steroids. Anyone who saw her would feel that she was extremely excited. As long as she was given a kitchen knife, she could rush into the village committee building and hack a large number of family planning officials to death.
"Ye Lin." Old man Zhang locked his gaze on me again, "Did you actually write this essay? Are you making it up on the spot? "
My legs trembled and I said stubbornly: "I wrote it! It's just that I went off topic! It's not like teacher Zhang doesn't know that I often go off topic! "
"Is that so?" Old man Zhang pushed his glasses up, "Then continue reading, let me see how far you can go off topic with 800 words!"
As I was worrying about how to come up with the rest of the essay, Xiao Qin used the textbook as a cover and whispered to me:
"Rather than loving a stranger, it's better to love the one by your side …"
I felt that what she said was reliable, so I purposely slowed down and repeated Xiao Qin's words.
"Rather than loving a stranger, it's better to love the one by your side …"
"The wife by your side …"
"The wife by your side … eh?"
The students immediately roared with laughter. Xiong YaoYue laughed while knocking the table and was scolded by old man Zhang.
The class leader acted like she was powerless against me.
Old man Zhang coughed twice and laughed at me:
"Ah? Ye Lin, you're a good man of the new era! You wanted to be a traitor just a moment ago, and now you're swearing to be a good man! Did you hear what the girls in the class said? Are any of you planning on marrying him! "
Xiao Qin raised half her arm as if she was anxiously saying: "Me! Me! "But old man Zhang did not notice her.
It was like the class leader wanted to avoid arousing suspicion and moved her gaze away from me.
"Is there anything else after your essay?" Old man Zhang asked with a gloating attitude.
I did not want to be outdone and said anxiously: "Yes! Of course there isn't! "
Thus I followed along with Xiao Qin's' love your wife 'argument and continued: "Um, as everyone knows, loving your wife is a small love. If you only know how to love your wife, you won't be able to understand the realm of no thoughts reincarnation … no, boundless love!"
The more I said, the more confused I became.
"That's why we not only have to love our own wife, but also other people's wives …"
Old man Zhang, who was about to bring the teacup to his mouth, almost choked to death. The class leader's face was also as ugly as it could be. Xiao Qin, on the other hand, was fuming with anger and had an expression of 'you're still not satisfied with me'.
"Okay, okay!" Old man Zhang waved his hand to let me sit down, "I don't even need to look to know you didn't even write an essay — — go home and copy your name on ten sheets of paper and give it to me tomorrow!"
I said worriedly, "Don't make me copy my name, can I copy Niu ShiLi's name?"
Niu ShiLi turned towards me in horror. Although Xiong YaoYue kept it a secret, the news of me being gay spread like wildfire under the pen of Little Smart and a bunch of fujoshis. Niu ShiLi must be afraid that I'm interested in him. That way, it would make sense for me to mediate the conflict between him and Shen ShaoYi.
"Why do you want to copy Niu ShiLi's name?" Old man Zhang also felt it was strange.
I said with a bitter face, "I have too many strokes for the character 'Lin', Niu ShiLi's name is so easy to write!"
"Sure!" Old man Zhang agreed generously, but before Niu ShiLi could raise any objections, he said, "As long as Niu ShiLi agrees to write your name when he gets punished, you can write his name. You can even change your names, how about it?"
I didn't say anything. Two boys writing each other's names on ten sheets of paper, this behavior is as gay as you can imagine.
"Teacher …" Little Smart suddenly raised her hand, "My chest suddenly feels stuffy, can I go to the infirmary to rest?"
After getting permission, Loud Mouth righteously said: "I'll take her there!" Then she skipped class with them.
What? Did Little Smart get sick because of me and Niu ShiLi? I only wanted to complain about the number of strokes for the character 'Lin', there's no need to make it so serious!
After class, the class leader came to check on Xiao Qin. At the end of yesterday's shift, Xiao Qin suddenly threw a tantrum at everyone, so the class leader was quite worried.
Xiao Qin conversed with the class leader in a friendly manner. The Xiao Qin who yelled 'you're so annoying' yesterday seems to be a completely different person.
"We waited in class for a while and the weather cleared up. We didn't get wet at all when we got home!"
"That's … that's good …" The class leader was a bit hesitant and didn't delve into the reason for Xiao Qin's tantrum.
"Class leader." Xiao Qin asked with a smile, "Did anyone give you trouble on your way to and from school?"
The class leader thought for a bit, "I didn't see the people from yesterday … I was originally on guard when I came to school today, I even put three tennis balls in the basket …"
Three tennis balls? Class leader, are you confident that you can take care of an enemy with one tennis ball? Holding onto the handlebars with one hand and throwing flying items with the other. Are you relying on the speed of a bicycle to fight? Two of the Rose Three Heroes were very big targets, so they were easy targets for sniping!
I suddenly thought whether Xiao Qin becomes my sworn sister or girlfriend in the future, her subordinates are also my subordinates. That way, the Ye Lin Gang would not only have the Five Tiger Punishment Squad, but also the Rose Three! Not only is the Rose Three stronger than the Five Tiger Punishment Squad, they are also incomparably ugly!
Shu Zhe has complained more than once that I have too few subordinates. He said the boss of the school should have at least twenty to thirty subordinates. It's not like I'm a gangster, why would I need subordinates?
Even now, if a hoodlum teases me for having too few subordinates, I can still retort back. For example, I can say:
"Even if you have more subordinates than me, can your subordinates be uglier than mine?"
The Five Tiger Punishment Squad was led by Xing Xing, who had a face full of pockmarks. The Rose Three Heroes had even reached the level of exorcism. As long as they were placed in front of you, even if you didn't die, you would be scared to death!
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