141. Can't Walk Out
After saying these two sentences, He Jin couldn't go on.
Papa He suddenly remembered the argument He Jin had with him three years ago in the dormitory of Hua University. He Jin had grumbled about his dissatisfaction and asked if they had ever understood him. Had they ever asked him what he wanted, what he did not want, what he liked, and what he did not like …
At that time, Papa He did not understand. He only felt that He Jin was immature and impulsively told him the truth.
He Jin calmed down and went home. He was no longer rebellious and did not resist. He even obediently broke off relations with that boy.
He was now behaving like an adult, mature and sensible, working hard, and obediently going on blind dates … Everything looked good. Papa He thought that he had gotten what he wanted, so he should feel gratified, but he was not. The words that He Jin had said when they had argued three years ago kept replaying in his mind. Comparing it with his observations of He Jin over the past few years, Papa He kept feeling that something was wrong.
Yes, his child seemed to have lost the ability to be happy. It was not the "unhappiness" that was deliberately shown on his face, but the pain that was suppressed in the depths of his heart. Only when no one was looking would he inadvertently reveal a little bit of it.
Papa He did not forget how He Jin had clenched his fists, his shoulders trembling, and shouted at him angrily, "I don't want to become a person that even I hate!"
Recalling that scene, the nearly 70-year-old old man shuddered. He stubbed out his cigarette with trembling hands and asked softly, "He Jin, do you like the way you are now?"
He Jin's heart, which had been silent for a long time, beat heavily because of these words, but it quickly dimmed again. His father didn't know how much strength he had used to be able to stand there so calmly and composedly.
He thought, does it matter whether I like it or not? The important thing is that you like me like this.
"That's it. I have no choice," He Jin said calmly.
Thinking about it from another perspective, if he was born mentally retarded and disabled, would his parents abandon him and not care about him? No, they would have raised him well. Therefore, no matter how wronged and regretful he was, he would not have abandoned his sick mother.
As a man, as a son, this was what he should bear, even if the price was to give up his own happiness and happiness.
Papa He let out a long sigh. He suddenly realized that He Jin shouldn't have to bear the burden of He Lin's tragedy and the impact it had on the family.
He Jin saw the frown on his father's face and tried to comfort him. "Dad, don't tell me you think that I have a grudge against you? Don't think too much. I'm fine, and Mom's illness is much better. You should take care of yourself and smoke less. I'm most relieved that you and Mom are healthy. "
Papa He nodded weakly. He Jin turned around and accompanied his mother to watch TV for a while. At ten o 'clock, he went back to his room to sleep.
Two days later, Qin Yang came to Q City. The fan meeting was scheduled for that day from two to five in the afternoon at the Cultural Palace. The local TV, newspapers, and online media had already started reporting about it.
For the past three years, every time he heard Qin Yang's name from the people around him or accidentally saw his image on mobile advertisements, He Jin's heart would be greatly touched. Therefore, he had never dared to read news related to Qin Yang.
It was Saturday, so He Jin didn't have to go to work. He was also arranged to go on a blind date with the niece of his father's former colleague's eldest cousin. At around eleven o 'clock in the morning, he left the house.
Q City was very small. The busiest area in the city center was only a few streets away from the Cultural Palace. The restaurant that He Jin had booked was at Shengyi Square, which was a thousand meters away from the Cultural Palace. It was a Cantonese restaurant with a good reputation.
He arrived at the restaurant at eleven forty-five, 15 minutes before the meeting with the girl. He glanced at the girl's information in his bracelet. Duan Shurong, 27 years old, staff of Q City TV Station, graduated from S Province's Media University, had one boyfriend, hobbies …
He Jin didn't need to look at the rest. He sent her a text and told her the table number. Then, he ordered a cup of Italian coffee and calmed himself down. He began to prepare his speech.
Usually, it was normal for the girl to be a little late for a blind date. He Jin thought he would have to wait at least half an hour, but she arrived before twelve!
"Excuse me, are you … He Jin, Mr. He?"
A simple plaid shirt, a plain gray cotton sweater, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses … Duan Shurong tried to connect this person with the young man in white in her memory.
He Jin suddenly looked up, and his eyes lit up. Big eyes, a sharp chin, long straight hair, and a simple and exquisite OL knee-length skirt. She was a beauty.
"Hello, Miss Duan." He quickly reached out to shake her hand, then calmly pointed to the seat in front of him. "Have a seat."
Duan Shurong's gaze did not leave He Jin's face. After she sat down, she asked uncertainly, "He Jin, don't you remember me?"
He Jin was stunned. He looked up and stared at her face. He shook his head and said apologetically, "Have we met somewhere before?"
"We," Duan Shurong drew a line between the two of them with her finger, "were in the same middle school."
He Jin's eyes slowly widened as if he remembered something, but it was very blurry …
Duan Shurong smiled bitterly and said, "When there were activities in school, we often partnered as hosts. I liked you in middle school and even wrote you a love letter, but you gave it to your mother. Your mother called my house and scolded me. Do you remember?"
"Ah!" He Jin exclaimed. "It's you!"
He instantly became embarrassed and looked at her helplessly. The incident back then was also an embarrassing shadow for him. He did not dare to think about it, so he slowly forgot about it. "I'm sorry, I … I didn't think of that."
"You didn't expect me to come on a blind date with you?" Duan Shurong asked.
"Yeah …" Because after that, he was completely hated. If Duan Shurong still remembered him, she would never have come to see him. So, even though the name was a little familiar, He Jin still did not associate this person with the girl in the middle school next to him.
Duan Shurong crossed her arms and smiled. "I didn't want to come at first, but after so many years, I'm really curious about how you've changed. So, rather than a blind date, it's more like meeting an old classmate."
He Jin lowered his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. He passed the menu over and said, "Let's order first."
Duan Shurong smiled and glanced at him. She flipped through the menu and said, "You really haven't changed much."
He Jin pushed his glasses up. "How can that be? It's been more than ten years."
"I'm talking about your facial features and temperament." Duan Shurong ordered a few dishes and a drink. He Jin called the waiter over and placed the order. Duan Shurong looked at the coffee in front of He Jin and said, "Coffee before dinner? It's not good for your stomach. "
He Jin smiled faintly. He was used to ordering a cup of coffee before a blind date with a girl. It was to keep his mind clear.
The two chatted about what happened in the past few years, which university they got into after high school, and what they did for the past few years. The dishes were served. The two clinked glasses and He Jin suddenly said solemnly, "Duan Shurong, I'm sorry."
Duan Shurong: "… Huh?"
"I wasn't the one who gave that letter to my mother. She found it herself. She had a habit of checking my school bag. I put the letter in the jacket of my language book, but she still found it. Maybe I was too nervous at the time and made a mistake." He Jin smiled. "I really didn't expect her to do what she did later. Fortunately, I met you today. It gave me a chance to apologize to you for coming late."
Duan Shurong was dumbfounded. However, she was a little touched by He Jin's apology. She changed the topic and said, "What kind of person is your mom? No wonder you haven't found a partner after coming back for three years! "
He Jin: "…"
Duan Shurong coughed softly and said, "To be honest, I came here with the intention of playing a prank. Actually, I wanted to see how your mother would react if she knew that the blind date she had arranged for her son was the one she scolded on the phone years ago for being a vixen, seducing people at such a young age and shameless. Haha … But now I don't want to see it. As long as it's a normal girl, who would want such a difficult mother-in-law like your mother?"
When He Jin heard this, not only did he not get angry, but he actually laughed out loud. Although Duan Shurong's words were a little rude, it was also the truth. He nodded and said, "You're right." In this world, probably only her own son could tolerate her.
Duan Shurong was stunned. She picked up her cup and sipped her drink. She looked He Jin up and down with her beautiful big eyes. It was hard to imagine that a woman like her could raise such a gentle, quiet, and elegant son.
Actually, there was another reason she did not mention. The reason she came to see He Jin was because she still had feelings for him when she was a young girl.
He Jin used his chopsticks to point at the dishes on the table. "Hurry up and eat. Don't let the food get cold. It seems like I'm treating you to this meal on behalf of my mom."
Duan Shurong snorted. "Even if it's a blind date, you should be the one treating."
He Jin smiled as though he was tolerating his bad-tempered girlfriend. "Of course. Thank you for giving me face. Eat more."
Duan Shurong ate two mouthfuls of food and couldn't help but say, "Aye, I actually asked around. The auntie who introduced you to me said that all these years, you seem to have been rejected by your blind dates …" She lowered her voice. "You see, City Q is not big. There are only a few single people who are not bad. How did you get rejected by so many people? It can't be because your mom is hard to deal with, right? That auntie even asked me to be careful and ask around to see if you have any unmentionable illness! "
He Jin raised his hand to cover his smile and raised one of his eyebrows. "You really want to know?"
Duan Shurong put down her chopsticks and looked as though she was already mentally prepared. "Go ahead."
He Jin swallowed the food and took a sip of coffee slowly before saying, "Before I told every blind date about this, I told them that what I wanted to say was the truth and not an excuse to brush them off. I also asked them to keep it a secret for me because my parents don't know about it, especially my mom. I don't want her to know, so I hope that you …"
"Yes, I'll keep it a secret for you too!" Duan Shurong interrupted him. She was an impatient person and couldn't wait to know the truth.
He Jin looked at her and said seriously, "I've been with a man before."
Duan Shurong's expression froze and her expression became a little strange. She asked in a low voice, "Are you gay?"
"I don't know because he's the only man I've ever liked. But I guess this is a type of homosexuality. To be honest, I'm not sure if I can accept women anymore. I've tried to find a girlfriend, but up until now, all the girls who have heard the truth have directly rejected me." He Jin smiled. "But they've all kept their promises and haven't told anyone about my secret."
Duan Shurong said, "You know, it has nothing to do with promises. I know women, and we all love gossip. The reason why no one has told anyone is because of you …"
He Jin said, "Me?"
Duan Shurong was moved. "What you said just now gave me the feeling that it was very sincere."
She didn't know how to describe it. She just felt that He Jin was very weak and in pain at that moment … Women were always easily touched by men like him.
"Hey, He Jin," Duan Shurong mustered up her courage and said, "Actually, I don't really care about your past. Do you want to give it a try with me?"
A trace of gratitude appeared in He Jin's eyes. "Duan Shurong, there are also a small number of girls who are still willing to give it a try with me after hearing the truth. They probably want to help me … But …" He looked up and looked straight into her eyes. "What if I say that I still haven't let go of him?"
No woman could tolerate their dating partner still thinking about their ex. Moreover, this ex was a man.
Seeing that she was silent, He Jin sighed and looked down at the empty coffee cup. He struggled and said, "Duan Shurong, thank you, but I can't do anything to let you down."
It had been three years. The self-curse that he had written in his breakup letter to Qin Yang had come true.
He couldn't start over with any woman. He had tried and worked hard. When he went on a blind date with his first woman, he couldn't sleep at night. He had consumed countless caffeine, sleeping pills, and even went to see a psychiatrist for half a year. Only then was he able to maintain this relatively normal appearance …
He could lie to everyone.
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