Maybe it was a joke of fate. Shu Zhe was also unlucky these past few days.
Uncle Fireball's real name was Shu Dongbo. He was one year younger than the class leader's father and was Shu Zhe and the class leader's biological uncle.
He worked as a forest ranger in a remote mountainous area, so he could only return home once a year. Plus, there was a forest fire on New Year's Eve last year, so he hadn't returned to Dong Shan city for almost two years.
On the other hand, his wife, who was the class leader and Shu Zhe's aunt, would visit her husband in the forest every three to five months. Since it was a long journey, it wasn't as frequent as visiting prisoners.
When the class leader was 12, she went to the forest with her aunt to visit Uncle Dongbo during the summer. They didn't bring Shu Zhe because he didn't want to travel long distances, so they stayed at a relative's house.
At the time, Uncle Dongbo didn't know how to access the internet, so he didn't have the ID 'Uncle Fireball'. Whether it was in the eyes of the class leader or others, he looked like a typical mountain hunter. He even wore a forest ranger's uniform and had the badge and armband of the forest administration. Later, Shu Zhe showed me a photo of him. Other than his chin being a bit wider, I think he was a China version of Bear Grylls.
Uncle Dongbo, who had seen more bears than people, was very happy to see his niece come to see him. Because Shu Sha had expressed her interest in firearms when she was very young, he used that summer vacation to teach Shu Sha everything he knew. Not only did he teach his niece how to use a shotgun, but he also took her on field hunting.
In the past, I always thought the forest ranger uncle who taught the class leader how to use a shotgun was a cool and trustworthy person. But now that I think about it, I realized how irresponsible it was to teach a 12 year old girl how to use a shotgun when he knew she had a family heirloom at home.
"Shasha, since your great-grandfather's great-grandfather, our family has been hunters for generations, so teaching you how to use a gun is also my duty."
"Who told me to not have any children and your brother is useless, he doesn't even dare to come to the forest."
"Little Zhe, Little Zhe is not useless!" The class leader, who was only 12 and had just graduated from elementary school, defended her brother while carrying a shotgun that was longer than half her height, "Xiao Zhe's body attracts mosquitoes, more mosquitoes than me. If he came to the forest, he would be bitten to death by mosquitoes."
"Alright, I won't say anything bad about Shu Zhe." Uncle DongBo rubbed the loli class leader's head, "In short, if anyone dares to bully you, just shoot them like you did with the wild boar yesterday."
"Bang!" You're the one who's going to be killed! How did you degenerate from an experienced hunter in the mountains to a pervert who bought underwear from female models online?
The root cause of everything was a year and a half ago. The area where Shu Dongbo was working as a forest ranger had received express deliveries, and he had dug up an old ginseng while patrolling the mountains.
In the town at the foot of the mountain, after selling the old ginseng for a good price, Shu Dongbo had plenty of money. He also heard that the wireless internet signal had already covered his small house, so he bought a laptop on a whim and added a 3G network card to start his own internet surfing career.
"Computers are so complicated, I thought I wouldn't be able to learn." Shu Dongbo later explained, "But I found out I could download AV's from the internet for free, so I studied day and night and quickly learned."
Since patrolling the mountains was boring and he lived apart from his wife for a long time, Shu Dongbo, who had a strong physique, often had to endure the pain of having nowhere to vent his desires at night. So the internet became a very important part of his nightlife and it only took him half a year to become an internet addict.
But the internet is an illusory existence. After watching a large amount of AV's, Shu Dongbo, who felt empty, began to visit adult goods online stores.
Even though they didn't visit our online store the first time, after a few times, it was inevitable that they would visit our Alliance online store and hear of our "Happy Valley Love Store".
Later, after being introduced by a "friend", they found out that our online store was selling clothes worn by female models, so they immediately came to our store and became a repeat customer.
When Shu Dongbo saw Shu Zhe's trap photo on the Home Store's homepage, he thought it looked like his niece, Shu Sha. However, he knew that Shu Sha would never make such an embarrassing pose and expression, so he just thought Little Red Bean looked like Shu Sha.
Because he hadn't seen Shu Zhe for at least two years, Shu Dongbo would never have thought that the original women's clothes he bought were worn by his nephew.
Shu Dongbo, who had already become known as "Uncle Fireball" on the internet, had unknowingly used his nephew's female clothing to vent his desires on the trap photos of his nephew. This caused his body's sensitivity to drop, and his vigilance to drop. Finally, he had failed miserably and was attacked by a black bear while patrolling the mountains.
Fortunately, a starving camel is still bigger than a horse. Shu Dongbo still had his basic qualities. Even though he lost his gun and had a deep wound on his right arm, he was still able to escape and didn't become the bear's lunch.
Masturbating really kills people! The hunter's aura passed down in the class leader's family was also gone! Otherwise, how would a mere black bear dare to approach you when you have a gun?
Or could it be that the hunter's aura passed down in the class leader's family can only be inherited by one person per generation, and once you lose your virginity, the aura will dim or even disappear?
"Um, class leader, I have a way to make all the cats and dogs no longer fear you. Are you interested in trying it?"
Forget about the above wishful thinking. Otherwise, I can choose between the 18.51mm and 16.82mm caliber shotguns.
Shu Dongbo was attacked by the black bear. Because the leader didn't know that he was dizzy from masturbating, he thought that he was just like he had been for the past ten years, diligently protecting the forest and that he was unlucky to encounter such an incident. So, he quickly assessed Shu Dongbo as having a work-related injury.
Shu Dongbo didn't recover well after he was injured. His right arm showed signs of muscle atrophy and his mental state wasn't good. Therefore, after careful consideration, the bureau decided to give Shu Dongbo a disability pension and let him retire early. Thus, Shu Dongbo finally returned to Dong Shan city after two years of absence and he didn't have to go back to work anymore.
The day he returned home was neither too early nor too late. It was the day the class leader organized a field trip and entrusted Shu Zhe to his aunt.
Shu Dongbo didn't tell his family to pick him up at the bus stop and dragged his suitcase with his left arm. He was stunned when he saw Shu Zhe sitting on his sofa.
"Why doesn't this kid have any manliness. He doesn't look like me or my brother, he looks more like Sha Sha's sister. "
When Shu Zhe said "Hello, uncle", Shu Dongbo muttered in his heart, "His voice is so feminine. I remember my voice changed when I was his age."
Shu Dongbo didn't know that Shu Zhe had taught himself a "fake voice" in order to not expose himself when he was video-chatting with "Cilantro Buns". He was so good at imitating a girl's voice that he could pass off as real.
Although the husband was disabled from work, he didn't lose an arm or a leg. His right arm didn't continue to deteriorate and was only slightly thinner than his left arm. Also, it was a blessing in disguise as the couple didn't have to live apart anymore.
Shu Zhe's aunt was very happy and cooked a lot of food to celebrate. Shu Zhe's presence also reduced the loneliness of the childless couple.
When night fell, Shu Dongbo recalled his nephew coming out of the bathroom. His hair was clear, his skin was fair, and his cheeks were slightly red from the heat. The more he thought about it, the more he felt that something was wrong. He opened his laptop and pulled out the photo of "Little Sister Red Beans" saved on the hard drive. He enlarged it and compared it.
The more he looked, the more he felt that they were the same person. There was a pose that Shu Zhe made in the photo that resembled an orchid finger. It was a pose that Shu Zhe often used when drinking water.
In the end, Uncle Fireball Shu Dongbo couldn't sleep because of the torment in his heart. After his wife fell asleep, he quietly made his way to his nephew's room.
Shu Zhe was already sound asleep. His delicate body was hidden under the thin blanket. His delicate collarbone and tender shoulders exuded a forbidden temptation.
Under the faint moonlight, her side profile displayed a quiet and delicate beauty. Her moist and translucent lips gave the illusion that she had applied lipstick on them.
Shu Dongbo's eyes were red. He got close to Shu Zhe's ear and whispered, "Little Sister Red Beans, Little Sister Red Beans?"
In the end, Shu Zhe turned over and murmured in his sleep, "Video chat, starting at 200 yuan an hour …"
Shu Dongbo immediately understood everything! He was bleeding from all seven orifices! He was furious! He thought he was knowledgeable on the internet, but he was tricked by an online store and bought a trap's original female clothing to masturbate. What's more, the trap was his own nephew!
He mistook a shota for a loli, but more importantly, he almost fed himself to a bear because he masturbated. Now, he was listed as a second-class disability! Using his nephew's underwear to masturbate turned himself into a second-class disability. How could he accept that?!
Unable to vent his anger, he shook Shu Zhe awake. Shu Zhe was dizzy at first, but when Shu Dongbo said he was "Uncle Fireball," Shu Zhe was so scared that he couldn't sleep anymore.
"Uncle, I … I was forced by the owner of that adult goods store, my sister's classmate!"
Shu Zhe knelt on the bed and begged for mercy. His first sentence sold me out.
Not only did he kneel and beg for mercy, but he also cried and begged his uncle to forgive him for his sister and aunt's sake.
Shu Dongbo looked at his nephew who was curled up in a ball on the bed. He was originally angry, but he suddenly felt something he had never felt before. A worse hobby was awakening.
"You made me spend money for nothing …" Shu Dongbo pointed at his shrunken right arm, "You made me like this. How are you going to compensate me?"
Because Shu Dongbo used to be China's version of Bear Grylls, even if his right arm was slightly shrunken, it was still thicker than Shu Zhe's calf. Shu Zhe glanced up and muttered, "It doesn't look like it's a big problem …"
"Bastard!" Shu Dongbo was so angry that he almost woke up his wife in the next room, "I'm so unlucky to have a nephew like you! Tell me! Do you still have the wig and clothes you used to disguise yourself as a trap? "
"Huh?" Shu Zhe didn't understand the impending crisis at the time. He replied, "I still have some left at home. Uncle, why are you asking?"
You've already exceeded your reading limit for today. If you want to read more, please log in.
Login
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
