Although I was mentally prepared after reading the reviews online, I only realized that "Tang Bo Hu vs. Chu LiuXiang" had no lower limit after seeing it with my own eyes.
Tang Bo Hu and Chu LiuXiang are both outstanding talents, right? They are surrounded by beautiful women, right? I originally thought that the reason they died in this drama was because someone made a cuckold, but I was wrong! I was ridiculously wrong! I was so childish!
This movie doesn't even have a female lead! This was a f * cking gay film! There was even a scene where Tang Bo Hu and Chu LiuXiang accidentally kissed! Little Smart, you're such a fujoshi. It's a pity that you didn't come to watch this film!
Shu Zhe expressed a strong dislike towards this scene: "Sister, what kind of terrible movie did you bring me to watch! It's disgusting for a man to kiss another man! "
The class leader also felt that it was a bit inappropriate, but she had already watched half of the movie. Whether it was out of courtesy or out of respect for Auntie Ren, there was no reason for her to leave halfway.
Shu Zhe put his phone in his pocket and stood up from his seat. "I'm going to the washroom — — this movie is too nonsensical!"
"Master, this disciple also needs to pee, please allow me to leave for a bit!"
Eunuch Cao said goodbye to me and followed Shu Zhe out of the theater with a vulgar expression. He even shamelessly tried to get close to Shu Zhe on the way. The most suspicious thing was that he was carrying a super cumbersome backpack to the washroom.
Holy sh * t! What are you trying to do? What are you trying to do to Shu Zhe in the men's washroom? The backpack wouldn't be that heavy if it was just a wig. Don't tell me you brought a full set of S&M props. Do you plan on bursting Shu Zhe's chrysanthemum in a cubicle?
But I really don't want to waste my energy on a brat like Shu Zhe. Speaking of bursting chrysanthemums, didn't he already get his chrysanthemum pierced by the school doctor once? What's the harm in doing it again?
But Xiao Qin suddenly said next to my ear: "I, I also want to go to the washroom, can you come with me ~?"
"Go by yourself! Or let the class leader go with you! Don't you guys always go together at school? "
"School is school, outside is outside!"
"What's the difference! Also, I don't want to go to the washroom, you might as well go by yourself! "
"How could this be? One of the responsibilities of a boyfriend was to wait for his girlfriend outside the female toilet! This was an important etiquette between a couple! I've been looking forward to this day for a long time! Come with me, okay ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "
Was there so much etiquette when going to the toilet? Also, didn't I already do it the first time you had your period and wait for you outside the women's restroom?! He was also surrounded by a lot of girls (including the class leader), how embarrassing!
Xiao Qin threatened me when I didn't agree: "If you don't go with me … I won't go either! I'll wait until you want to go, then we can go together. "
After saying that, she clenched her two small hands into fists, tightly pressed her legs together, straightened her back, and put on a persevering expression, as if she was going to fight a protracted battle.
Protracted war my ass! Are you going to hold it in? You just drank an entire bottle of orange juice! The physiology class mentioned that women's ureters were shorter than men's, so when it came to the ability to hold urine, women had a congenital deficiency. Aren't you afraid of urinary incontinence if you hold it for too long? And you still think you're the heroine of a shoujo manga! Which heroine has ever done something as embarrassing as urinary incontinence in public!
I couldn't help but tremble with fear when I saw Xiao Qin clenching her teeth and holding on. If you couldn't hold it in, then everyone would see a scene that was N times better than the movie! There might even be unscrupulous people who would investigate your identity and post on Weibo at night: "Because the movie was terrible, the martial arts director's daughter pissed herself on the spot!"
In order to not become a witness to this sensational news, I helplessly got up and brought Xiao Qin to the washroom.
Before leaving, I asked the class leader: "Aren't you going to the washroom?"
Actually, this movie made me want to pee, especially the part where they were fighting in the river. The sound of running water reminded me of my childhood when I wore open-crotch pants, even I wanted to pee.
The class leader indicated that she didn't want to go yet, and she could help everyone keep an eye on the pile.
Actually, there wasn't much to worry about, it was just a large bucket of popcorn and a few unfinished bottles of drinks.
Unlike me, Xiao Qin seemed to place a lot of importance on the food. She told the class leader before leaving: "Don't let anyone steal the popcorn! If too many people come to steal it, don't leave it for them even if you have to eat it all in one gulp! "
The class leader waved her hand with a bitter smile, which meant no one would come to steal the popcorn.
Seeing the class leader's confident appearance, Xiao Qin rolled her eyes and said: "You can't finish it in one gulp, then lie and say someone else stole it!"
That's enough! How big is the class leader's mouth in your eyes! Do you think the class leader is a 'Planet Devourer' who fought with the Avengers? Besides, only a foodie like you would do something like hoarding food all by yourself!
The class leader awkwardly promised: "I won't finish it all, if I finish it, I'll buy more for you, okay?"
"Okay!" After Xiao Qin received her promise, she proudly followed me out of the hall.
I suspect that Xiao Qin was pretending to go to the washroom, otherwise she wouldn't have the time to joke around with the class leader.
How cunning! If I didn't also need to pee right now, I wouldn't be moving with you!
On the other hand, four of the five people who came to watch the movie went to the washroom. Only the class leader stayed in her seat by herself. She would occasionally take a piece of popcorn, but she wouldn't put it in her mouth for a long time. She would just stare at the screen thoughtfully.
It would be great if Loud Mouth and Little Smart also came. Those two losers, if they came, wouldn't the class leader not be so lonely?
I suddenly felt that although the class leader was admired by everyone in the class, she didn't have a lot of friends. Even if they were close, it was more like the class leader was taking care of others (like Gong CaiCai). It didn't match the friendship I had in mind.
Even though she was relied on, she had no one to rely on? Is the only way to become strong?
This kind of lifestyle is really tiring! No wonder Shu Zhe didn't use his sister as a role model.
But what could he do? Her parents weren't by her side, and she had a troublesome younger brother. Even the class 2-3's homeroom teacher had to rely on Shu Sha to suppress the students. Restless people like me and Eunuch Cao were always causing trouble for her.
I feel a little guilty. If only I could be of some help.
Since the movie was boring and stimulated to pee, there were a lot of female audience members who chose to go to the washroom at this time. Xiao Qin stuck out her tongue and lined up behind them. I headed straight to the male washroom not far away.
"Get lost! I won't do it no matter how much money you give me! You pervert! "
Shu Zhe angrily walked out of the washroom with Eunuch Cao following behind him with a fawning expression.
"Don't be angry! It won't take much time! You're the only one who can do it, no one else can! "
"Don't pester me! Otherwise, I'll call brother Ye Lin to beat you up! How could my sister have such a perverted classmate! "
"Don't say that! Everyone has their own preferences. Since you helped me out, I won't mistreat you! "
Damn, Eunuch Cao, what are you saying? Did you give up on the plan of forcing yourself on Shu Zhe because you don't have enough stamina, and instead, you want to give Shu Zhe money? Or do you want to pay Shu Zhe to wear a wig and dress up like his sister to satisfy your unattainable desires? Isn't this the "assisted sex" invented by the Japanese? You're a big loss, you want a boy to have assisted sex with you!
Shu Zhe walked in a hurry with his head down. He accidentally bumped into me with his shoulder and knocked his body askew.
He recognized me and revealed a bit of an embarrassed expression. He did not let me hit Eunuch Cao, instead, he climbed up to the second floor without looking back. This theater also seems to have a washroom on the second floor — — is he so angry that he doesn't want to go to the same washroom as Eunuch Cao?
I stopped Eunuch Cao who wanted to chase after him and pushed him back into the washroom.
It was different from the overcrowded female washroom. Other than a staff member who looked like a decorator, there was no one in the male washroom. After the decorator left, only Eunuch Cao and I were left.
"What do you want?" I asked while gritting my teeth, "Don't tell me you want Shu Zhe to dress up like his sister and then explode his chrysanthemum!"
Eunuch Cao, who was as tired as a dog while carrying a large backpack, said with a smile: "How would that be possible? Although I've thought about it before, boys and girls have different body structures. If I want him to dress up as the class leader for pleasure, I prefer using my mouth … "
Use your mouth, use your mouth, use your mouth!? Eunuch Cao, you're too much of a loss! Don't make me think of that scene! Is it because Shu Zhe's face is very similar to the class leader's, so as long as he doesn't take off his clothes?
With the class leader's serious and self-respecting personality, it's hard to imagine she would do something like that even after a few years, even towards her own boyfriend.
— — So you're using Shu Zhe as a substitute? Because he might do something the class leader wouldn't do, so it doesn't matter even if he's a boy!
Eunuch Cao quickly apologized when he saw my angry expression. He said that although he had thought about it, he was discussing a completely different matter with Shu Zhe. In order to prove his words, he opened the zipper of his backpack and showed me the wig inside. It wasn't the class leader's long and straight wig, but it was a dyed light brown wig.
"What do you mean?" I asked, "Are you using Shu Zhe as a model to see what the class leader would look like if she cut her hair short and dyed it?"
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