Although it's a bit unfair to Auntie Ren, I'm afraid "Tang Bo Hu vs. Chu Liu Xiang" is a terrible movie.
The evidence is that in the huge HD movie hall, during prime time on a weekend afternoon, less than 1/10 of the seats were occupied.
On Friday night, I was afraid I wouldn't be mentally prepared and I was afraid I would be completely shocked by the movie, so I specifically looked online for spoiler-free reviews.
The comments on Douban were like this:
… There's a unique title like "Tang Bo Hu vs. Chu Liu Xiang", and there's a martial arts director who displayed outstanding talent in "Chu Liu Xiang: A Sea of Blood and Sand". During the preparation of the movie, there were numerous advertisements that attracted the attention of the media … However, does this kind of work mean that it's wonderful and other rare qualities? The answer is obviously not.
The comments on Baidu Tieba were:
— — I'm an idiot! I'm a fucking idiot! I actually finished watching this idiot movie in the theater!!
Since I already understood the movie, I no longer had any illusions. I only planned on peacefully spending an hour and 40 minutes in front of the big screen. I wasn't the only one who suffered.
Due to the low number of seats, there were a lot of empty seats. Everyone found a seat they liked.
Although Xiao Qin was the one who provided the tickets and I was the one who invited everyone, to the class leader, everyone present was either a student from class 2-3 or her own brother. So she naturally took on the responsibility of organizing. She brought everyone to a 35 ° angle on the right side of the theater. Apparently, this was the best place to watch the big screen.
But there was a small conflict about where everyone should sit.
Xiao Qin was the first to rush to the fourth seat from the right. She sat down and didn't get up. Then, she asked me to sit on her right.
I could roughly guess what she was thinking. Because there was a thick marble pillar on the left of the fourth seat. If someone sat on the fifth seat, it would slightly block the view. Also, there weren't many people today, so the seats on Xiao Qin's left were all empty. That way, she wouldn't have to be afraid of a man sitting on her left and causing her phobia to flare up.
As for the reason why she wanted me to sit next to her, I don't need to explain.
But it seems like the class leader really wanted to sit on Xiao Qin's right, next to the only other girl besides her. Then she arranged for her brother to sit on her right, and then it was Eunuch Cao and me.
It might have been my imagination, but I felt Xiao Qin's eyes under her sunhat emit a murderous aura.
However, when Xiao Qin raised her head, she was smiling at the class leader kindly. Then, she began to plead in a sorrowful voice:
"Can you let me sit with Ye Lin classmate? o (> ﹏ <) o ~ ~ ~ I've always watched movies with Ye Lin classmate since we were young, I'm already used to it ~ ~ ~ I'd be afraid of the dark without Ye Lin classmate!!"
The class leader saw Xiao Qin's sincerity and didn't want to steal her beauty, so Xiao Qin let me sit on her right.
Next, the class leader arranged for her brother to sit on my right, then she sat on his right. It seems she deliberately used her brother to separate us.
Shu Zhe was not happy: "I don't want to sit next to brother Ye Lin, he likes to hit people. The last time I was in pain for a whole week! "
The class leader didn't budge this time. It seems that even if my brother wasn't happy, she still wouldn't sit next to me.
It's better if you don't want to sit next to me! Do you think I want to sit next to you?
Five people, four good seats. Eunuch Cao didn't have any good seats in the row, but he didn't mind. Instead, he happily sat in the row at the back. There were even fewer people in that row. He placed his backpack on the empty seat next to him. He was quite satisfied and his fat body just happened to sit behind me.
"It's convenient for us to chat like this, jie jie jie jie jie — —"
But Xiao Qin wasn't satisfied with the seating arrangement. Her body was slightly trembling. I thought she was angry, but when I looked closely at her face, I realized she was afraid.
I finally understood that it was because the seats in the theater were all next to each other. Even if I was in the middle, Shu Zhe was still sitting too close to her, so it triggered her androphobia.
Thus I represented Xiao Qin and brought up the current special situation to the class leader.
"Is it that serious?" Although the class leader knew Xiao Qin was afraid of boys, she didn't expect it to be to this extent. "Isn't Niu ShiLi classmate who sits on your right in class also a boy? How come you can't go to class because of him? "
In order to let Xiao Qin speak normally with the class leader, I temporarily carried Shu Zhe to a seat further away.
"Class, class leader … Because there's a certain distance between the desks and chairs, and the four-eyed physics class representative is very quiet during class, and Ye Lin classmate is constantly encouraging me on my left, that's why I can persevere …"
The class leader's expression didn't look too good. I'm not sure if it was because Xiao Qin randomly gave people nicknames, or because Xiao Qin said I broke the sacred classroom rules by 'constantly encouraging' her.
Shu Zhe heard it from afar and let out a mocking laugh in disbelief: "Afraid of men? How is that possible? Isn't bro Ye Lin a man? I think bro Ye Lin is much scarier than me! "
Seeing that no one paid attention to him, he curled his lips and said: "If that's the case, I'll switch seats with my sister. That way I'll be far enough, right?"
The class leader used her gaze to seek Xiao Qin's opinion. Xiao Qin thought for a bit and nodded.
"… It should be fine. I can rely on Ye Lin classmate's calming scent, I should be able to resist my phobia."
Who emits a calming scent! Do you think I'm a mosquito coil!
But thanks to Xiao Qin, the class leader and Shu Zhe switched seats. The current situation was Xiao Qin on my left and the class leader on my right. On both sides were two young girls with completely different styles. It made me feel a bit proud even though I was a celibate, and I had the illusion of hugging two girls on my left and right.
Even if it was a high-class movie theater, the armrests of the seats were very narrow. Since the class leader and I were both wearing short sleeves, if we both put our arms on the armrests, our skin would touch. So the class leader put her hands on her knees and held onto the ridiculous lady's bag.
Once the class leader was close to me, she would immediately sit upright. If an outsider saw her sitting posture, they might think she didn't recognize me at all.
At this time, Xiao Qin finally took off the sunhat she had been wearing for a long time. Although she finished eating the cotton candy, she still had balloons in her hands. She was in a daze and didn't know what to do.
She suddenly had an idea. She first used the sunhat to hold the balloons, then placed the sunhat on the empty seat on the left.
Unfortunately, the sunhat was too light and the balloon had too much lift. It almost sent the sunhat flying like a hot-air balloon. Fortunately, I stood up in time and caught the two items.
Xiao Qin started to worry: "What should I do? I don't want to hold the balloons during the movie, where should I put them?"
I replied heartlessly: "Can't you just poke it?"
Xiao Qin made an expression as if she was about to cry: "No! Absolutely not! That's my family heirloom, it's even more valuable than the three artifacts of the Japanese imperial family! "
Eh? The three artifacts of Japan also appeared in shoujo manga? Yagami no Kagami, Watsuki-sama, and Yasakani no Magatama … they've all been referenced in Gundam and Naruto. It sounds like they're really awesome, but some people say that those three items were actually given to the Japanese king by China, and they're common goods in China.
But no matter what, those three items are worth a lot more than your balloons! What crime do you deserve for hurting the feelings of your Japanese friends who are separated by a strip of water!
I returned the sunhat to Xiao Qin and suddenly thought of a good way to deal with the balloons.
"Xiao Qin, have you heard of static electricity? As long as I create static electricity by rubbing the surface of the balloon, I can make it stick to the back of the seats in the front row! "
Xiao Qin blinked her eyes as if she thought it was a good idea.
"But what should I use to rub it? If I use too much force, it will explode and turn the theater into ruins! "
Is that a balloon or an atomic bomb! Even if you don't have any knowledge of physics, you should at least think like a normal person!
I laughed evilly and rubbed the balloon on Xiao Qin's hair.
"There's no better static generator than hair! Don't move, be careful of the balloon exploding! "
Xiao Qin could only sit obediently and let me rub her carefully combed hair until it became a mess.
In the eyes of the class leader and the others, I was undoubtedly bullying Xiao Qin. The class leader only didn't immediately stop me because she was afraid the balloon would burst.
But for Xiao Qin, she felt a bit wronged at first, but her face gradually turned red as if she enjoyed the act of rubbing her hair with the balloon. It was like a kitten accepting its owner's caress.
I felt like I didn't achieve my goal, so I lost the mood to play around. I stuck the balloon to the back of the seats in front of me and it stuck.
"Really! You're amazing! "Xiao Qin praised from the bottom of her heart.
You can only be happy now. I laughed in my heart. Static electricity is very fragile. If it gets a bit shaken, the balloon will fly 10 meters into the ceiling. At that time, it would be too late for you to cry! Hehehehehe — —
Who knew the class leader would be a busybody. She taught Xiao Qin to tie the balloon to the leg of the chair and then use the seat itself to block the top of the balloon. That way, she wouldn't have to worry about the balloon flying away.
Xiao Qin thought for a while with her mouth open and found that it was indeed more stable than static electricity. Although it wasn't my idea, since I wanted to keep the balloon as a family heirloom, I did as the class leader said.
I expressed my indignation at the class leader's actions of harming others without benefiting herself.
It was finally time to turn off the lights and get ready to play the movie.
After the surroundings turned dark, I suddenly noticed that there were a lot of words written on the back of the seats in front of me.
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