There were real-time comments online.
"Wow, not bad!"
"What's good?"
"Zhang Ye's crosstalk?"
"You really want to see it? Isn't it boring? "
"It's just started, but it's still the same as before! It's funny the whole time! "
"Really? Damn, I'll go take a look! "
"Look, I was almost fooled by those haters! Who said it wasn't good-looking? "
"It's still the familiar Zhang Ye. Let's see what they say next!"
Some people in the crosstalk world snorted disdainfully.
A disciple of Tang Dazhang commented, "In the jargon of a gala crosstalk, the difficulty lies in the 'performance'. It depends on the artistry and integrity of the performance, and not on whether one or two burdens are performed well. Even if you are burdens and a joke the entire time, and there is nothing that makes people reflect on it, it would still be considered a failure!"
A crosstalk actor replied, "Yeah, that's why it's not easy to perform a crosstalk at a gala!"
Another disciple of Master Xu, who Zhang Ye had scolded previously, said, "Zhang Ye is only using his little cleverness now. When it comes to the real test of the art of crosstalk, he won't be able to do it. If you don't believe me, just continue watching. A crosstalk that is pieced together by pieces will only become more and more scattered. There won't be a theme to express."
In the past, the main theme of Zhang Ye's crosstalk had always been scolding people, or scolding the crosstalk world, or refuting the three common sayings. Although the people of the crosstalk world did not like to listen to it, to be honest, this kind of work was still valid. At least the plot was clear and it was a complete work. But if it was just something that was pieced together from one thing to another, then it could not be called a crosstalk, much less a gala crosstalk that required even more?
…
At the venue of CCTV's Spring Festival Gala.
The crosstalk continued.
Yao Jiancai: "Ten out of ten? Then I'm too lousy! Are you complimenting me? "
"What I mean is, isn't there still room for improvement?"
Yao Jiancai: "Hurry up and take a break. It's the new year and you're already insulting me. Before we went on stage, the announcer had already said that our crosstalk is called 'Everything is Great'. Why are you getting further and further away from that?"
Zhang Ye looked around, "Who's doing well?"
Yao Jiancai: "We! The audience! "
Zhang Ye harrumphed, "That's because everything is good for all of you, but not for me!"
The audience was amused. What was wrong with Teacher Zhang?
Yao Jiancai said in concern, "Yo, what's wrong with the new year? Haven't you always been fine? "
Zhang Ye gestured and said, "Look at all of you praising me today. Actually, I wasn't good enough in the past."
Yao Jiancai: "Sigh, isn't there a time when everyone can't make it?"
"Before becoming a crosstalk host, I didn't even have a stable job."
Yao Jiancai: "Really?"
Zhang Ye said slowly, "At that time, I had just graduated from university and was looking for a job."
Yao Jiancai: "It's all the same."
"I've always had a dream since I was young. I wanted to be a soccer player."
Yao Jiancai looked at him. "Sure."
Zhang Ye: "I went to sign up right away and the team's coach liked me so much when he saw me. He said that I was more than 14,000 times better than last year's FIFA World Player of the Year, Paraeng!"
Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "Wow, that's a genius!"
"Then he said that there were only two things that were hindering my development."
Yao Jiancai asked curiously, "Which two?"
Zhang Ye said, "Left leg and right leg."
When the audience heard this, they laughed like crazy!
"Hahahaha!"
"Left leg and right leg?"
"Aiyo, what the heck!"
"That's such a fucking joke!"
"What was Zhang Ye thinking, hahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai nearly vomited blood. "Hai, then let's just say that you're not cut out for this!"
Zhang Ye said angrily, "I hated it too. When I saw that I couldn't play soccer anymore, I decided to apply for a job at a private company. I submitted my resume and went for an interview, but the interviewer didn't even look at me. He said, 'I'll give you a minute to remember you.'"
Yao Jiancai laughed and said, "Right, that's what a lot of interviewers said."
Zhang Ye: "I thought that it was fine, so I walked over and swung my arm around to give him a big slap! Then I turned around and ran away! "
Yao Jiancai was shocked. "Whoa, then he really remembered you!"
A big slap??
The live audience was rocking back and forth with laughter!
Zhang Ye: "In the end, I passed the interview. The moment I stepped out of the office, I received a call. That person said, 'Please come to the office immediately.'"
Yao Jiancai: "Hai."
Zhang Ye: "I thought about it for a long time, but I didn't dare to go!"
Yao Jiancai laughed and said: "I shouldn't have gone."
The audience laughed: "Hahahahaha!"
Zhang Ye said angrily: "I hated it so much. When I went into the toilet by the roadside, I washed my face and looked into the mirror. I said, 'Zhang Ye, you must be strong. This little difficulty won't be able to knock you down. Come on, persevere!'"
Yao Jiancai nodded. "I can't lose heart."
Zhang Ye: "After I cheered myself on, my mood calmed down a lot. When I came out of the toilet, I saw a man walking out from the opposite toilet door."
Speaking up to here, Zhang Ye turned around in horror.
Yao Jiancai was stunned. "Ah? You stayed in the women's toilet for so long? "
Some of the audience members were crying from laughing!
"Hahahaha!"
"Yi!"
"Aiyo, I'm dying of laughter!"
The hosts of Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala were also laughing so hard that they were about to lose their breath!
Dong Shanshan covered her mouth and was laughing hard!
Zhang Ye hurriedly said: "I had to run away quickly!"
Yao Jiancai: "Yes, I had to run away."
Zhang Ye: "A bunch of old women came out of the toilet and chased after me. The leader even shouted, 'Catch him, it's him. He was talking nonsense in the women's toilet. I was so scared that I didn't dare to come out!'"
Yao Jiancai was amused. "You sure are unlucky."
Zhang Ye said unhappily: "I thought that I couldn't go on like this. I had to work and earn money. How could I earn money? You'd have to spend money first. "
Yao Jiancai shook his head. "Heh, gifts?"
Zhang Ye: "After spending quite a bit of money, I finally became an official employee of a state-owned enterprise. I'm working in Beijing now."
Yao Jiancai: "Really?"
Zhang Ye said happily: "This job of ours is really good. We don't have to do any work every day. Only the section chief that I'm giving gifts to often brings us out to eat. There's only seven or eight of us, but we always get to eat a table full of dishes."
Yao Jiancai: "What dish?"
Zhang Ye: "Yes, steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, roasted pig, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, roasted pig, roasted goose, roasted duck, roasted goose, roasted pig, roasted goose, roasted pig, roasted goose, roasted chicken, roasted goose, roasted chicken, roasted goose, roasted rabbit, roasted python, roasted silver fish, steamed hash, roasted duck loin, roasted duck strips, roasted pork slices, roasted abalone, roasted carp, roasted rotten turtle, roasted carp, roasted carp, roasted prawns, roasted tenderloin, roasted chicken, roasted intestines, roasted jackdaw, roasted spicy oil rolls, roasted fresh mushroom, roasted fish, roasted fish maw, roasted fish slices, roasted pork slices, roasted pork slices, roasted pork slices in vinegar sauce …"
Everyone in the audience was dumbfounded when they heard the traditional "Announcing the Name of the Dish" recital!
The crosstalk actors who were watching the show on TV looked at each other and gasped!
Many people knew how to do speed recital, especially "Announcing the Name of the Dish". This was considered a basic skill for crosstalk actors, and many of the supporting actors could do it. However, the reason why they were shocked was because they really couldn't do what Zhang Ye was doing. Zhang Ye's recital speed could only be described as crazy. From the beginning to the end, he had done it in one breath. It was the astonishing speed he had when he was the host of The Voice, reciting advertising messages!
No one could imitate it!
This was the first time anyone had seen a speed recital in such a manner!
Tang Dazhang's heart sank. He had not expected that Zhang Ye would ingeniously incorporate traditional crosstalk speed recital into his show. He had even matched it with the speed he had used on The Voice, which had shocked the entire nation!
The applause at the venue was thunderous!
Bba Bba Bba!
"Good!"
"Well said!"
"This is too awesome!"
"This speed, it's like he's going to fucking take off!"
The audience had goosebumps when they heard this because it was too fast! This speed was three to four times faster than other crosstalk actors when they did speed recital!
This speed recital was too scary!
Onstage, Zhang Ye finished his recital.
Yao Jiancai said in surprise, "Why do you need so many dishes? How much did it cost? "
Zhang Ye waved it off. "Public funds!"
Yao Jiancai suddenly understood. "Hai!"
Hearing this, many of the crosstalk actors were stunned again. Was he mocking public funds for eating and drinking?
Yao Jiancai said, "The country is currently cracking down on this! You're even going against the wind to commit crimes? "
Zhang Ye said, "Not only do we have to eat, our section chief also often brings us on trips. Shanghai, Guilin, Suzhou, we go everywhere."
Yao Jiancai said, "You guys are also burning money."
Zhang Ye looked at Old Yao. "But in the process of traveling, I discovered some uncivilized phenomena."
Yao Jiancai asked, "What phenomena?"
Zhang Ye said, "Some of the monuments and signboards of scenic spots, there were even people writing on them, saying things like" Come here "or" XX I love you ". Some people even carved their names on them, saying" Yao Jiancai … "
Yao Jiancai quickly stopped him. "That's not me! I don't do such things! "
The audience burst into laughter. "Hahahaha!"
Zhang Ye said, "I was just giving an example."
Yao Jiancai said, "There are indeed such uncivilized phenomena!"
Zhang Ye said, "I'm a person with a strong sense of justice. When I see this, I get angry. It makes me so angry that I can't take it anymore. I must reprimand them! This is too outrageous! "
Yao Jiancai nodded his head. "Right, we must reprimand them!"
Zhang Ye pondered for a moment, then picked up the fan on the table and used it as a pen. He wrote in the air, "This comrade, I want to criticize you! How can you write and draw in such a manner here? Do you have any morals? Do you have any morals? How did your dad teach you? How did your mother teach you? How did your grandfather teach you? How did your grandmother teach you? How did your great-aunt teach you? How did your eighth aunt teach you? "
Yao Jiancai was stunned.
The audience was already laughing hysterically!
"I can't take it anymore!"
"Hahahahaha!"
"Aiyo, tears are coming out!"
Zhang Ye vented his anger by saying, "Anyway, I wrote on the wall to scold him with more than a thousand words! It's so infuriating! "
Yao Jiancai stared at him and said, "More than a thousand words?"
Zhang Ye: "That's right, they are too uncivilized!"
Yao Jiancai said angrily, "When others write 'I was here', it would at most be four words, but you wrote more than a thousand words? You are even more uncivilized than him! "
Zhang Ye rolled his eyes. "How am I uncivilized? Our section chief even praised me when he saw it. He said that Little Zhang, you did very well. When you see such uncivilized behavior, you must firmly criticize and correct it! "
The audience laughed, "Hahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai nearly fainted. "What sort of section chief are you? Sooner or later, something would happen!"
Zhang Ye suddenly smacked his lips and said, "You even got it right. Didn't something happen just a few days later?"
Yao Jiancai: "What happened?"
Zhang Ye: "That day when we went overseas for a vacation … No, we called it an overseas expedition, we encountered pirates in the Caribbean Sea."
Yao Jiancai was shocked. "Whoa!"
Zhang Ye: "The pirates pulled out their guns the moment they boarded the ship. They demanded 5 million!"
Yao Jiancai: "Then what should we do?"
Zhang Ye: "It was still our section chief who was experienced. He went straight to the pirate leader and said, 'I can ask for 5 million, but you have to give me an invoice of 100 million!'"
Yao Jiancai: "Ah?"
Zhang Ye: "The pirates were crying. You guys are still the best at making money!"
Yao Jiancai: "Hai!"
The entire venue was drowned in laughter!
"Hahaha!"
"An invoice of 100 million? Aiyo! "
"Hahahahaha!"
Hearing this, the crosstalk world's people fell silent.
Those crosstalk actors who were doubting him on Weibo also did not make a move at this time.
The audience was getting excited like they were on steroids!
Using connections to send gifts?
Mocking public funds for food and drinks?
Satirizing the uncivilized phenomenon of traveling?
Pointing out that there was something fishy about using public funds for reimbursement?
These were all the most basic methods of crosstalk to criticize the current situation! This was a very high-level artistic expression!
It was only now that many people realized that Zhang Ye's crosstalk today was actually using his work experience as a link. He used all the hilarious baggage to satirize some of the undesirable phenomena in society! Together with that amazing speed reading that no one could imitate …
Who the fuck said that Zhang Ye did not know how to do gala crosstalk?
Who the fuck said that Zhang Ye did not know how to do traditional crosstalk??
Bullshit your grandma's balls!!
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