The countdown began.
Three.
Two.
One.
The live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala officially began!
First, there was a two-minute promotional clip. The clip was shot very elegantly and was very traditional. First-line workers from all walks of life appeared in the clip, dressed in the clothes of their respective jobs. Finally, they gathered on a Spring Festival train. Everyone cupped their fists, and a few words appeared on the screen — Spring Festival Gala.
Dance music began to play. It was folk music. Amidst the music, the performers dressed in red appeared on the stage. There were Uygur dances, Dai dances, and Mongolian dances.
"Uh."
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"
"Me too."
"Hodgepodge? Sweat. "
"The personnel composition is too complicated!"
"This opening dance is really too 'Spring Festival Gala'!"
"Isn't it like this every year? Quick, find something to complain about!"
"Flamers, go!"
Some flamers had already appeared on stage, but the gala had just begun. Everyone had yet to get into the groove, and they had yet to find a good entry point. There were no complaints about the two points.
At this time, the Mongolian dancers took turns to the front. The big screen behind them was still showing the names of various places in Inner Mongolia. Whenever a place was shown, there were local people wearing Mongolian robes, riding on horses, guarding yurts, or in schools. All of them were pictures of people paying their New Year's greetings.
"What a flamer!"
"Where is he?"
"Charge!"
"What about everyone's combat power?"
"Who's going to be the 'first slot' of the Spring Festival Gala!"
Suddenly, a complaint appeared on Weibo. "I'm from Inner Mongolia and I live in Hohhot. I want to say that I've explained to my friends from other places that we don't live in yurts, don't ride horses to school, don't use milk to bathe, and don't wear those Mongolian robes. In the end, when the Spring Festival Gala was broadcasted, all my years of hard work went to waste."
Everyone was overjoyed when they heard this!
"Ahahahahaha!"
"Pu! This is too funny! "
"This is a f * cking professional roasting contestant!"
"One look and I can tell he's a professional!"
"This is too awesome!"
"This is the first time I've vomited in the new year!"
"Hahaha, I'm cramping up from laughing!"
"Aiyo, which mighty figure is this!"
"Let me see who posted this. It's too funny!"
As a result, when the netizens saw this person's name, they burst into laughter!
"Pu!"
"It's Zhang Ye!"
"Fuck, it's Zhang Ye himself!"
"I'm laughing so hard!"
"Hahahahaha!"
"So it's Zhang Ye. I was wondering whose battle prowess was so strong!"
"Come and see! Teacher Zhang is firing at the Spring Festival Gala again! "
"I knew it. The Spring Festival Gala production team has just released such a targeted statement. It's basically pointing at Zhang Ye's nose and criticizing him. If Zhang Ye doesn't fight back, it definitely wouldn't be his style!"
"Teacher Zhang has also joined the flamer army!"
"All hail Zhang Ye!"
"Teacher Zhang, well done!"
With Zhang Ye joining in, the flamer army immediately became abnormally excited!
If it were any other flamer's flaming, it might not have spread so quickly. But since this flaming was written by Zhang Ye, the speed at which it spread was obvious. Zhang Ye's Weibo fans were an extremely large number, slightly more than 10 million. In an instant, before the opening dance on television ended, this flaming flaming had already spread all over the Internet!
…
Grandma's house.
The third sister shouted, "Hahaha, Brother, you're too mean!"
His second sister laughed heartily. "Brother, you really went to complain?"
"It's so classic!" His eldest younger sister couldn't stop laughing as she looked at the Weibo post. "Our brother is really good at talking! This flaming is so professional. It's so accurate and ruthless! "
But Zhang Ye did not mind. This was the essence of what the netizens and flamers from his previous world had summed up, so how could it not be accurate? How could it not be ruthless?
…
The opening dance ended.
The hosts began their interlude!
Chen Ye was dressed in a bright red outfit. "The annual celebration of the festive season!"
The female host next to him said loudly, "The nation celebrates the new year!"
The lines of the hosts were not anything new. They were all the clichéd New Year's greetings. The only difference from the previous Spring Festival Galas was that the stage had changed. It was more gorgeous and had more technological elements.
Very quickly, the second performance began.
It was still a song and dance performance with the focus on singing.
A big shot singer came on stage and sang, "Oh, our nation, a new atmosphere!"
A movie star came on stage. "Every year, a new look."
An old singer sang loudly, "The common people are very happy."
A soprano sang, "Praise the Communist Party."
This was a new song. No one knew who wrote the lyrics and music as they had not heard it in the past.
The netizens flamed.
"This phrase is so positive!"
"Damn, is there nothing else to perform?"
"I'm almost asleep."
"Can you not be like this? Why does this year's Spring Festival Gala seem even more boring than the previous years! "
"There are too many points to complain about. I don't even know where to start."
"The skit is starting!"
"I'm looking forward to the language performances!"
The third performance finally ushered in the first skit of this year's Spring Festival Gala.
But when the audience saw it, they felt even more confused.
The skit was called "This is the new policy." It was about a rural family who encountered some problems and obstacles when they went out to do something. In the end, because of the new policy approved by the country, they were able to get it done smoothly. At the end of the skit, everyone praised the new policy.
The netizens had mixed opinions.
"It's not too bad."
"Only the first part of the skit was a little funny."
"Bullshit, where did the jokes come from? I was speechless the entire time! "
"It's so boring! It's not funny at all! "
"What kind of skit is this?"
"Damn, it's not what I expected!"
After that, there was singing and dancing and the shouting of slogans. Finally, the first crosstalk performance arrived. It was Tang Dazhang's 60-person crosstalk performance, "Family Reunion"! In the past, this performance would appear at a later time, around midnight. But later on, due to the pressure from the public, there were too many doubts. As a result, the Spring Festival Gala production team made a last-minute adjustment and brought forward Tang Dazhang's crosstalk performance.
At the language performance venue.
Tang Dazhang led his fellow seniors and juniors and strode onto the stage.
The moment he came up, Tang Dazhang smiled and waved to the audience. "Dear friends in the audience, we meet again."
The applause from the audience was sparse. A lot of people were amused when they heard that, not because it was funny, but because they were reminded of Zhang Ye's "I Want to Get on the Spring Festival Gala" joke about Tang Dazhang.
"Let us first wish you a happy new year here!"
The 60 people bowed in unison and said in unison, "Happy new year!"
"It's a good day today."
"Right."
"There's only one day in a year."
"That's right."
The crosstalk performance began with two people speaking at first. Later on, it was time for the singing segment. The remaining 50 or so crosstalk performers joined in. Some played the erhu, some strummed the stringed instruments, and a few female Dagushu singers joined in as well. The crosstalk performance was very impressive, with people singing and dancing happily!
The netizens were dumbfounded by what they saw.
"Is this still a crosstalk?"
"Why does it feel like a singing performance?"
"It's so boring!"
"The only funny parts in the performance are all old jokes from several years ago. There's one joke that I find very familiar. It looks like it's a joke that Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai used in the past, but they've changed it a little!"
"This is really a family reunion! I nearly peed my pants listening to it! "
"The slogan was shouted so loudly, but it's even worse than what I expected!"
"Tang Dazhang is getting on in years and is getting worse. He's out of touch with the times."
"This year's Spring Festival Gala feels like it's from a different era. If someone told me that this was the Spring Festival Gala from five years ago, I would definitely believe it!"
"I finally understand why Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai couldn't appear on Central TV's Spring Festival Gala this year. Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao clearly don't have the political awareness of Tang Dazhang and his bunch!"
After a few performances, a lot of the people had completely lost their temper!
The flamers began to show their prowess.
Even the leader of Zhang Ye's fan club, Big Saber Bro, joined in.
Fan Yingyun: "Tonight, the entire nation's citizens can sleep peacefully. Mom will no longer have to worry about my insomnia!"
But amidst all the ridicule, there was one that stood out the most. "Wonderful, it's so wonderful! This year's Spring Festival Gala is the best News Simulcast I've ever seen in my twenty-odd years of living. It has abandoned the usual News Simulcast format of a single broadcast with graphics. It's a collection of songs, dances, skits, videos, and other forms. It has promoted the Party's good policies in simple terms. The country is thriving and the people are living and working in peace. It's another innovative breakthrough in the News Simulcast. It has penetrated into the minds of the people and deeply embodies the three principles of closeness. It's worth learning from all our comrades in the News Simulcast! "
Weibo Publisher:
— Zhang Ye.
When the flamers saw this, they were all astonished!
"Holy shit, this is what a ridicule is!"
"Teacher Zhang has done it again!"
"News Simulcast?"
"Hahahahaha!"
"How did you make a good gala into a News Simulcast broadcast! Haha! "
"This ridicule is so goddamn godly!"
"Teacher Zhang is going to offend another group of people tonight!"
After a few minutes, the hosts started matching couplets.
This time, the host came up with the question: "The country is thriving."
Chen Ye matched the second half: "The people are living and working in peace."
At this moment, Zhang Ye posted on Weibo again: "Let me tell you guys a piece of good news. Let me tell you guys a piece of good news. Those comrades who can persevere until the end of this year's Central TV Spring Festival Gala will definitely not be unable to overcome next year!"
"Hahaha!"
"I'm dying of laughter!"
"Who asked you guys to offend Zhang Ye! Watch this! "
"Pfft, hahaha, I've decided not to watch the Spring Festival Gala anymore. I'll be spending the new year on Zhang Ye's Weibo!"
After the next performance ended, the hosting team came out again to thank the leaders and the audience for sticking by them all these years. They also thanked the Spring Festival Gala production team for their hard work.
Almost at the same time, Zhang Ye's ridicule came out again: "Thank you. Everyone should thank this year's Spring Festival Gala production team. It was you guys who made me realize my mistakes. Tonight, we owe the previous Spring Festival Gala, the one before that, and the one before that, a deep apology — sorry!"
"Sorry? Pfft! "
"Aiyo, I can't take it anymore!"
"Zhang Ye is too sarcastic!"
"I'm laughing so hard at my computer! Hahahaha! "
"Yeah, we all owe the previous Spring Festival Gala an apology! We shouldn't have scolded them back then! "
"Do you guys have to be so funny!"
"Look at Teacher Zhang's level of ridicule. You guys really can't do it!"
"Of course, when it comes to ridiculing others, who can compare to Teacher Zhang?"
"Awesome! At the critical moment, we still have to rely on Teacher Zhang! "
Many of the flamers were convinced. "As expected of Zhang Ye. His writing and eloquence are at a professional level. He's on a completely different level from us amateur flamers!"
When the flamers came out, it was clear who was better.
Tonight, Zhang Ye shared the joy of the people and joined the flaming army. He even became the leader of the flamers as he showcased his flaming skills to the fullest, reaching new heights and realms!
The live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala continued.
Zhang Ye's flaming also continued!
He was able to find fault with every word the hosts said. Every detail of every act could be flamed by Zhang Ye. Countless flamers had already "stopped" and were watching Zhang Ye flaming from the first second of the Spring Festival Gala until the last second of the Spring Festival Gala! Of course, there were also those that Zhang Ye did not flout. For example, Zhang Yuanqi, Zhang Xia, or Ci Xiufang's skit. As long as it was someone that Zhang Ye had a good relationship with, he did not say anything. This fellow had always been like this … treating people and not the matter!
The people rocked back and forth with laughter!
Zhang Ye's family also didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
His mother said, "Son, you're not even eating the dumplings and only care about posting on Weibo? Why are you so bored? "
But Zhang Ye was in high spirits. "Did you just find out? I've always been this bored!"
His third sister only wished for the world to be in chaos. "Brother, do it again! Do it again! "
Zhang Ye said, "I posted another one. Go and Like it for me!"
"Got it! Hahahaha! "
…
The Spring Festival Gala came to an end.
When the production team went online to see how the netizens and people were reacting to the Spring Festival Gala, they opened up Weibo. Even the executive director, Xu Yipeng, and the other assistant directors, as well as the staff … were all dumbfounded!
What was this?
What was all this?
Everyone nearly spat out a mouthful of blood!
Zhang Ye! Fuck your grandpa!
You're just too f * cking wicked!
Zhang Ye's flaming and Weibo spamming of over a hundred times had really shocked the Spring Festival Gala production team! Over a hundred of them! You're supposed to be participating in the live broadcast of Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala tomorrow. You're supposed to be busy with a bunch of things, but as a big shot celebrity, you actually have the time to spend the entire night in front of the television to flaming our Spring Festival Gala? The Spring Festival Gala production team's staff were all cursing and swearing!
He's a fucking hooligan!
He's the most conning hooligan in the entertainment industry!
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