After sending the goods, I suddenly remembered that Le Jia got his original underwear (let's call it that for now). I can't deliver the goods to Uncle Fireball on time, so I had to notify him.
I turned on my computer and saw that he was online, so I sent him a crying emoji:
"Dear, I'm very sorry. Miss model accidentally dirtied her white butterfly underwear when she was on the bed! Since the underwear can't be washed, all of our efforts were wasted. If you're willing to wait, I'll change into a new pair and let the model wear it for three days. Then, I'll send the goods as soon as possible. "
"If you feel that your rights and interests were harmed, we can also give you an unconditional refund, may I ask …"
Uncle Fireball sent me a puzzled emoji, which I'm guessing meant "it doesn't matter".
"Mhmm, honest stores like you guys are rare these days!"
"If you don't shirk responsibility when there's an accident, then you guys should be praised by the entire country!"
Stop talking, Uncle Fireball! I'm too ashamed to show my face! Actually, I wasn't honest at all. The underwear I sold wasn't worn by the model, it was worn by the model's' mister '! Also, the 3.15 party has always been about criticizing people, when have I ever seen anyone praised! Even if they were praising me, I wouldn't have the face to stand in front of the people of the country and admit, "Our shop has been selling imported European and American massage sticks in good faith for many years, bringing happiness and good news to the vast number of lonely young women!
Hearing that Miss Model had dirtied her underwear while lying on the bed, Uncle Fireball used his super imagination:
"Could it be that she drank too much and didn't have time to go to the bathroom? If that's the case, you don't need to change into a new pair, you can just send the underwear over! I don't care at all! "
No, based on your tone, it's not 'you don't care', but 'you like it a lot'. You can still arouse sexual interest in underwear that was soaked in urine, your taste really isn't normal!
"So what if it's soaked in urine? Most mammals choose their mates by smelling their partner's urine! Urine contains precious pheromones! "
Uncle Fireball still spoke with conviction.
"Let me tell you, in Japanese perverted stores, female urine is a very common product. There are also sanitary napkins stained with menstrual blood, rubbing of private parts, girl juice …"
Alright, alright, don't say anymore, I'm going to vomit! Uncle Fireball, if you like Japan so much, why don't you go back and live in Japan? I will recommend Director Cao to go back with you!
After the delay in delivery came to an end, I was conflicted over whether to order the 12 RMB Three Delicacies Vegetable Rice or the 15 RMB Twice Cooked Pork Rice. I was hesitant, and the degree of depression was no less than which concubine the emperor was going to have tonight.
Suddenly, he received a text from Ai Mi. There was only one sentence:
"Do you want my underwear?"
In the end, it was his younger sister who found out! When did I show it? (Or is it being shown everywhere?) What to do! What to do! Should I answer yes? If I answered like this, would Ai Mi generously give me her underwear?
No! He couldn't admit it! I can't let my sister look down on me! Even if I want to exchange the underwear for money, I have to steal it without anyone noticing. What kind of sense of accomplishment would there be in directly making the other party give it to me!
Eh? Why is my logic so similar to the panty thief? I don't want to be connected with a pervert! I'm not a pervert! I just don't want to lose face in front of my sister!
Thus I replied: "What a joke! Who would want that kind of dirty thing! "
I replied, but I couldn't help but think: Ai Mi takes 40 minutes to take a shower, so she must be cleaner than Shu Zhe. If that's the case, then even her underwear …
Ai Mi didn't immediately reply. After a while, when I thought Ai Mi had forgotten about me, she sent a (→ _ →) emoji.
Is it a deep suspicion? Does she not trust her brother that much? Also, you're an American, why are you using Japanese emojis! As expected, the Japanese and American alliance has a joint security regulation! If that's the case … hurry up and return the Diaoyu Islands to us, bastard!
Although it's said to discuss with your elders when you have troubles, I only called my dad to ask if he forgot to eat. I can't discuss how to steal Ai Mi's underwear with him.
Also, although he knows I have a half-sister, but my dad's feelings towards Ai Mi must be very complicated, right? He can't even hate Ai ShuQiao, so he probably won't hate his daughter. But since my relationship with Ai Mi hasn't been made clear, it's best not to let them meet for now.
The weather was too hot and my brain couldn't cool down. I actually forgot that my dad's hotel room was occupied by Auntie Ren and I still dialed the hotel's landline.
Auntie Ren angrily picked up the phone: "Who!?"
I was so scared that I almost fell off my chair and said hesitantly: "Um …"
Auntie Ren didn't realize it was me and said angrily: "There are no male guests in this room! Stop asking if you want a prostitute! I don't want a prostitute! I don't want a prostitute! "
Then she fiercely hung up the phone.
I was very worried after being treated as a prostitute by Auntie Ren …
Also, you sex workers are too unprofessional! The hotel is quarantined! Even if you want to call for chickens or ducks, you can't get in! Also, it's easier to spread the bird flu because you're a chicken or a duck!
I dialed my dad's number again. My dad was eating a standard set meal provided by the hotel. Apparently, it came with Radix Isatidis, which can increase immunity.
My dad told me that he's been doing well these past two days. Even though the fatty in the same room snores loudly, it's rare for them to have a common hobby. Now when I'm bored, I chat with him.
I asked if you two have any common hobbies.
In the end, my dad said that the fatty is a moderator of a porn forum that starts with the word "S"! He once reposted my dad's brilliant AV review, so he really admires my dad!
"I never thought there would be such a talent among university professors!" The fatty said.
Damn, the direction of the praise is completely wrong! Since when did a university professor have to be recognized for commenting on AV films? As long as you can write "On Chang Kaishen's Contributions to China's Revolution", you can go to Tsinghua University's History Department and become a deputy head!
After the fatty gifted my dad an internal forum account, my dad shed tears of gratitude. In order to express his gratitude, he also told the fatty about the existence of the HHH Enthusiasts Association. The fatty immediately regretted not meeting him earlier. He said he would work hard to meet the requirements of the HHH Enthusiasts Association and one day become a member with my dad.
Damn, the HHH Enthusiasts Association recruited new members again! The more members there are, the more members there are. Are you guys multi-level marketing!
That night, my dad and the fatty downloaded AV together. They were going to discuss the best actress and get to know each other. Who would have thought that the person who posted the AV was a pervert. They downloaded two AV's, one was King Kong Calabash Brothers, and the other was a 'calcium film' of N men wrestling. While they were staring blankly at the calcium film, the fatty's wife came into the room to grab some personal items and caught the two of them red-handed.
"I can't believe I didn't know he had this kind of hobby after being married for so many years!"
The heartbroken wife complained to Auntie Ren.
Later on, I heard that the day before the quarantine was about to end, my dad went to apologize for the fatty who didn't talk to his wife in a fit of pique. They finally buried the hatchet and went back to sleep in the same room.
But this way, my dad had no place to stay.
He paced around the hallway until midnight. Auntie Ren found his footsteps annoying and finally opened the door for him.
"Stop acting pitiful! Are you trying to remind me that you rented this room? "
"No, no … if you think I'm too noisy, I'll go somewhere else …"
"Why would you go somewhere else? Are you going to announce that I stole your room? "
"No, I don't dare …"
"I don't understand what you dare to do! Come in! Since you're a perverted person, I'll let you stay for one night. But I'll say this in advance, if you dare to touch me … "
"Hit me, hit me, hit me …" My dad tried to please her, "You're a MMA champion, how could I be your opponent!"
According to my dad, he and Auntie Ren stayed in a standard room. They each slept on the same bed and nothing happened that night.
I hope so.
If something happened, I would be out of luck.
It was a gloomy and foggy Monday morning, what kind of weather is this! I almost fell into a ditch on the way to DongShan Lake! If the manhole cover was taken off for maintenance, there should at least be a warning sign next to it!
When I looked again, it was already there! Although there was a red warning sign, it was too foggy and I couldn't see it! Hurry up and change it to one that emits light! If I fell into the sewers and died, then no one would be able to manage the large harem! Can you bear the responsibility of letting your concubines surround me, the "Great Xing Emperor" and cry bitterly?
I originally thought gramps wouldn't come out in this weather because of his waist pain, but when I arrived at the usual place, gramps was actually sitting on a bench waiting for me like an immortal.
I sincerely took out the egg and handed it to gramps, as if I was presenting a treasure to a deity.
Gramps took the egg and looked at it to make sure there were no cracks, then he put it away with satisfaction.
I was puzzled: "Gramps, why do I feel like carrying an egg on me doesn't help my martial arts training?"
"You don't?" Gramps pretended to be surprised, "Yeah … I think so too, that's why there's no basis for what's written in wuxia novels! I've finally verified it with an experiment! "
Fuck gramps, so you were just making fun of me!
Seeing the dissatisfaction on my face, gramps said to me: "Xiao Ye Zi, did you think I let you carry an egg because I wanted to prove that wuxia novels were nonsense?"
"Then why?"
"Well … actually, part of the reason is because of that, but the other reason is because I feel like my waist hurts a lot, so I can't let you feel too comfortable …"
You … you're too bad! No wonder you're the one who lived the longest among your martial arts friends. It turns out that good people don't live long, while bad people live for thousands of years!
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