My phone was held in Loud Mouth's hands and had intimate contact with many of my classmates' phones. Some of the phones that were 'matched' were girls' and some were boys'.
A lot of people, including Xiao Qin who was lying on the table and pretending to cry, thought my phone was shameless and that it ate both men and women. No one believed that it was all because Loud Mouth wanted to try all the phone models.
Because of Loud Mouth's despotic power, none of the chosen students dared to not offer their phones, until Loud Mouth found Xiong YaoYue who was eating bread to replenish her energy.
Loud Mouth said straightforwardly: "Xiao Xiong, lend me your phone to play with, I don't believe it can plug in all the models!"
"Sure!" Xiong YaoYue agreed with a piece of bread in her mouth. She reached into her shorts and found that there was nothing in her pocket.
"Ah! I left in a hurry this morning and left my phone at home! "
Although she didn't bring her own phone, she stuffed the rest of the bread into her mouth after asking what Loud Mouth wanted. She patted off the sesame seeds on her hands and righteously said:
"You want to try a charging port? What's the point of using a normal phone? Wouldn't it be more interesting to try Gong CaiCai's iPhone 4? "
Gong CaiCai, who was sitting in her seat and sharpening a pencil, trembled when she heard Xiong YaoYue's words. She subconsciously wanted to stand up and run.
"Don't even think about running!" Xiong YaoYue jumped over and held onto Gong CaiCai from behind. Loud Mouth cruelly searched Gong CaiCai's bag for the iPhone 4.
"Huh? It doesn't look brand new! "Loud Mouth said while looking for a charging port.
Gong CaiCai struggled a few times under Xiong YaoYue's control, but she quickly gave up when she saw that there was no effect.
"That … that's my aunt's replacement! If I break it, my mom and dad will say I don't take care of things! "
"It won't break, it won't break!" Xiong YaoYue heartlessly guaranteed with a smile, "We just want to see if we can plug it in! You can satisfy our curiosity! "
"That's right, that's right, Cai Cai, you won't lose out … Ye Lin's phone can charge your iPhone!"
Loud Mouth laughed.
"Ye, Ye Lin's phone?!"
Gong CaiCai subconsciously looked back at me who was sitting in the last row of the classroom with a helpless expression. It was as if Loud Mouth and Xiong YaoYue's prank was instigated by me.
"Eh? Can it be charged? "This time it was Xiong YaoYue's turn to be surprised," I thought it was just plugged in for fun! "
Loud Mouth looked at Xiong YaoYue with disdain, "Are you even listening! Is your brain made of glue? "
"What did you say?" Xiong YaoYue made a "I won't forgive you" look, "After I get rid of Gong CaiCai, it's your turn, you damn fatty!"
"I'm not fat, I'm just plump!"
"Plump? If it was just plump, Eunuch Cao wouldn't have given you the nickname 'Carmen'! "
"What? I have a nickname again? Isn't Carmen a gypsy in a novel? I remember she seduced this and that — — how do I look like her? "
"Pfft …" Xiong YaoYue couldn't hold back her laughter, "Your 'Carmen' isn't a foreign name, Eunuch Cao only said you would get stuck in the classroom door because you're too fat …"
"Bastard Eunuch Cao, I'm going to kill you!!" Loud Mouth's hair stood up in anger. She looked around, but she realized Eunuch Cao was nowhere to be found.
"Um … can you let me go now?"
Gong CaiCai, who was sandwiched between Loud Mouth and Xiong YaoYue, weakly offered her opinion.
"No!" Loud Mouth snorted, "Since Eunuch Cao ran away, I'll take out my anger on your phone first! Xiao Xiong, hold onto CaiCai tightly! I'm going to plug it in! "
"Okay!" Although she had just argued with Loud Mouth, Xiong YaoYue became a reliable accomplice in bullying Gong CaiCai in the blink of an eye.
"No ~ ~ no!" Gong CaiCai cried with grievance, "My aunt said it would explode if I used anything else to charge it!"
"Eh? Will it really explode? "Xiong YaoYue paused and appeared to be a bit scared.
"Explode my ass!" Loud Mouth curled her lips, "Why is something like Apple so delicate? I'll let you have a taste of the power of domestic products! "
While Gong CaiCai was wailing, Loud Mouth connected the phone to the iPhone 4, but there was no terrifying explosion like Xiong YaoYue was worried about.
"Not good! The class leader is coming! " Xiong YaoYue suddenly exclaimed, hurriedly let go of Gong CaiCai, covered her ears, and quickly ran away.
Loud Mouth, who ran too slowly, was caught and reprimanded by the class leader. Loud Mouth quibbled: "It's all because of Ye Lin's phone! Who told his phone to be so weird! "
That bastard Loud Mouth is trying to shift the hatred onto me? My phone is weird? You still haven't discovered the built-in 'female entertainment game'! When the app makes your phone vibrate non-stop, you won't know what adjectives to use!
Ahhhh, not good! The class leader is coming to find me with my phone! Is she going to hold me responsible? Should I cover my ears like Xiong YaoYue!
Fortunately, the bell rang at this time and saved my life.
In the end, the class leader only left the phone on my desk and told me to take care of my stuff and to turn off the phone during class.
Turn off the phone? How am I supposed to run the toy store if my phone is turned off? Although you don't know, your brother is still getting his salary from me!
The biology teacher was an old lady who believed in celibacy. She used to advise her students not to date at a young age, let alone get married. Her point of view was:
"Before a person gets married, they have absolute freedom of movement, they are 'animals'. After getting married, their movements are restricted, they become 'plants'. When they give birth, their movements are even more restricted, they become 'minerals'!"
Well said! What a wise saying! If my dad wasn't married, then I wouldn't have to sit here like a fool like a mineral.
Today, the biology teacher kept coughing during class. The students all suspected that she had H7N9 bird flu because one of the top ten rumors in 28 Middle was that this single old lady had a hobby of collecting germs.
Maybe they were afraid that the germs collected by the biology teacher could wipe out the entire human race, so the students gave her the nickname 'Abbess Miejue'. They also publicly recognized her as the number one weapon of mass destruction in 28 Middle.
I think Abbess Miejue's perseverance of being single for 50 years is already amazing and worth learning from.
In order to obtain absolute freedom, not to mention marriage, even a girlfriend is completely unnecessary. Xiao Qin, the secret girlfriend in name, should be driven away as soon as possible.
Recently, I've been busy with all sorts of chores, so I haven't been able to bully her like before. What if I give her the wrong impression that I've become gentler!
Thus I opened a webpage on my phone and searched "how to make your girlfriend hate you". When I typed in "how to make your girlfriend", the search engine almost automatically changed to "how to make your girlfriend like you".
Damn, you guys really have no goals! If you make your girlfriend like you, then get married, then you guys will regret it! (The second place on the search engine was actually "how to make your girlfriend climax". I've already given up on this evil world)
When I changed the keywords to "boyfriend", "hate", and "characteristics", the teaching post I wanted finally appeared — — "Ten types of boyfriends that girls hate the most".
My eyes widened, and I saw that the ten most annoying traits were:
1. Unhygienic
2. Childish
3. Male chauvinism
4. Stingy miser
5. Womanizer
6. Vulgar, full of profanity
7 、 Talking Big and Boasting
8. Untrustworthy
9. Petty, holding a grudge
10. Loafing around and not doing a proper job
This one, doesn't seem to be very practical! I feel like when I face Xiao Qin, I'm stingy enough (I didn't even treat her to a meal at the cafeteria), flirty enough (I used Xiao Qin's movie tickets to invite the class leader), untrustworthy enough (I often give Xiao Qin empty promises), and hold a grudge (the Little Tyrant's grudge) … Also, male chauvinism, vulgarity, bragging, not doing a proper job, and not being hygienic might not lower my reputation in Xiao Qin's eyes, it might even have the opposite effect.
After picking and choosing, is there only one option left: childish?
Could it be that as long as I act childish in front of Xiao Qin, she will hate me?
What a new discovery!
But, of course, I can't use drooling and rolling my eyes to act childish (that's dementia). I should use childish games to annoy Xiao Qin, right?
Thus I took out a marker from my pencil case and ordered Xiao Qin to extend her arm.
Xiao Qin obeyed my order without understanding why. The biology teacher was talking about environmental issues behind the desk: "You humans don't know how to protect the environment!"
I giggled and used the marker to draw a turtle on Xiao Qin's white arm.
"Take your arm back!" I said with a proud smile. Was my method of bullying Xiao Qin childish enough? Kindergarten class level? Let's see how angry this little turtle will be if you can't wash it off!
I never expected Xiao Qin to really like my drawing. She held her arm and looked at it for a while as if she discovered a new continent, then she said:
"This little turtle is really nice to draw, Ye Lin classmate actually has a talent for drawing …"
"Especially the head, it's really cute! I like Ye Lin classmate's turtle the most … "
I don't know why, but the expert Niu ShiLi classmate was looking in my direction. I had a feeling that if Xiao Qin finished her sentence, 28 Middle would start spreading rumors that would make me vomit blood.
"Don't, don't say anymore! I'll go borrow alcohol to help you wipe it off! "
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