"Damn! How the hell did you get in? "I turned to look at my house's security door: The door was in good condition and there were no signs of explosives.
Peng TouSi took out a shiny silver foil from his suit pocket. The foil was folded into the thickness of a cigarette and he waved it in front of me.
"Lin, your house's door lock is a 'single lock' with poor security. It can only be opened with this foil — — I learned it on a video site in China."
After he finished speaking, Peng TouSi revealed a modest smile of "insignificant skill, not worth mentioning".
Modest my ass! Who complimented you! This is basically picking a lock! An American citizen coming to a small city in China to steal things, Lincoln and Washington would cry if they knew!
As we were talking, Ai Mi, who was dressed neatly and had her hair combed back into ponytails, walked out of the house.
She was not surprised to see that half of the house was filled with bodyguards, as if she had already expected this result.
"Since you're here, hurry up and pack my luggage!" Ai Mi ordered Peng TouSi, "We have to rush to the set early in the morning, so we can only eat breakfast in the car, how annoying!"
Peng TouSi repeated it to his subordinates in English, and the expressionless men in black with sunglasses began to busy themselves.
Ai Mi's underwear was thrown all over the house. Every time the bodyguards picked up an item, they carefully sealed it with sterile plastic clips, and finally put it all into a large black suitcase. If one didn't know better, they would have thought that there were weapons of mass destruction in it.
Ai Mi stood behind the dining table and hugged her bare arms in a fit of pique. She did not look me in the eye.
I noticed that the bodyguards in black leather shoes were walking around. The sound of their footsteps was not proportional to their height and weight, and you could not hear it unless you listened carefully.
Peng TouSi noticed the doubt on my face, so he generously explained to me:
"We sprayed a layer of silencing foam on the soles of our shoes. This is a technology from the US military, it's very effective in covert operations."
He said as he lifted one foot and showed me a layer of white gel with a strange texture on the sole of the shoe.
Is this what you used to sneak in silently? America's high-tech version of Traceless Snow Steps and China's indigenous method of unlocking with tinfoil. You guys really put in a lot of effort for this East-West special operation!
But there was no point in doing so, right? If he didn't want to wake us up, he could have waited for us to wake up before walking in!
Could it be that he was demonstrating to me? Is it because 004 and 005's surveillance operation failed, which dampened your spirit? In order to regain your dignity, you quietly occupied my house to show that you have the ability to 'decapitate' me at any time?
You must have eaten too much! I'm not Saddam! The only weapon of mass destruction you can find here is Ai Mi's underwear. Also, Ai Mi was the one who threw it, so I was too embarrassed to help her clean it up.
"Lin, we will compensate for the trouble and losses that Miss Ai Mi 'er brought to your family. Please don't worry."
Peng TouSi solemnly assured me.
That's not necessary. Although Ai Mi completely treated herself as an outsider, ate and used without holding back, and even left a lot of chip crumbs in the cracks of the sofa, it was at most the level of a brat's destruction and did not bring any substantial damage to my house.
In addition, although I despise the use of noise-canceling foam when it is used for petty theft, its other advantage is that it can be used as a substitute for slippers. Otherwise, if a dozen bodyguards were to step on it, I would be busy mopping the floor.
I always have a bad memory for European and American faces. Sometimes I feel that they all look the same and I can't tell who is who. After looking carefully for a while, I found that 004 and 005 were also there. Their bitter expressions and the way they walked with their legs clamped together made me certain that it was them.
I couldn't tell who was 004 and who was 005, so I just gave them random code names.
004 said something to Peng TouSi's ear in English. 005 went to the house for a while, then suddenly came out in a panic, holding the remaining milk carton in his hand.
He shouted with a head full of sweat: "Sex — — Sex — —!!"
I had just poured half a cup of water from the thermos, and when I heard him suddenly shout, I almost spat out the water in my mouth.
Is that Chinese? It sounds extremely strange, it's not even on the same level as Peng TouSi, it's comparable to the sound of a wild deer.
But since 004 and 005 were sent to monitor my nightlife with Ai Mi, at least one of them should understand Chinese, right? 005 pointed at the empty milk carton and shouted "Sex", what does he mean! Is there any evidence on the milk carton that shows what Ai Mi and I did last night? But I'm really innocent! I'm even more innocent than Dou E!
I widened my eyes and carefully looked at the carton in 005's hand. Only then did I realize that there was a large almond painted on the carton. The tip was covered in chocolate, and below it were two lines of golden words: Almond chocolate milk, preferably from American almonds.
Scared the hell out of me, so it's the "Apricot" in "Almond"! What's the fuss about a broken milk, strawberry milk, peanut milk, and apple milk are common, don't tell me you don't have them in America?
Seeing the almond milk carton in 005's hand, Peng TouSi's face changed and he smacked his lips: "Oh no!"
Ai Mi saw the bodyguards making a ruckus and turned her neck impatiently. As soon as she saw the milk carton in 005's hand, she immediately showed a bad expression and covered her stomach with her hands.
"No wonder … I haven't been feeling well this morning …"
Before Ai Mi finished her sentence, she bent down with her eyes closed and began to vomit.
There were no solid particles, it was all white milk in her stomach.
She coughed while vomiting. Her expression was very painful and tears were squeezed out.
"What's going on?" I asked, "I never put expired food in the fridge at home, how could …"
Peng TouSi told me with a bitter face: "Miss Ai Mi 'er is allergic to almonds. Almond milk, although it's fine when you first drink it, you will vomit it out after 5 or 6 hours."
"Wah — —"
Another big gulp, milky white milk poured out from Ai Mi's mouth and splashed on the floor in a radial pattern.
In between vomiting, she slightly raised her head with white liquid hanging from the corner of her mouth. She stared hatefully at the empty carton of almond milk and me who put this dangerous product in the fridge.
Why are you staring at me! How would I know you Americans are so delicate and easily have peanut allergies, pollen allergies, and almonds allergies? Also, do you not have eyes! Even a half-baked Chinese learner like 005 could tell it was almond milk. You, a guy who is proficient in all kinds of popular online languages, actually drank it without even looking?
What were you thinking when you took the milk from the fridge!
"Cough, cough, cough … manservant is too hateful! Unknowingly, my stomach was filled to the brim with it! "
Don't use the word "by"! You've only been in China for a month, and you've already learned sentences like "by suicide"? Stop joking! This time it was completely your own stupidity. You drank it yourself, it has nothing to do with me!
Seeing Ai Mi spit out a large puddle of milk, the bodyguards were stunned and looked at each other in dismay. Peng TouSi asked: "It should be all milk, right?"
Nonsense! Why did you have to confirm it again? What else could it be if it wasn't milk?
After vomiting for a while, Ai Mi finally stood up while gasping for breath. 004 handed over a printed tissue and Ai Mi used it to wipe the remaining milk from her lips. Her whole body collapsed and she barely stood up with the help of the bodyguards behind her.
Peng TouSi mumbled a few words to his subordinates in English, and the bodyguards surrounded Ai Mi like stars surrounding the moon. They opened the security door and walked down the stairs, just in time to catch up with a certain businessman who was also about to go downstairs. He saw so many people dressed in black coming out in a line, he touched his head and said to himself: "Who's getting married? What a big show! "
It made sense for the owner of the breakfast stall to think that someone was picking up a bride. I looked down the window and saw 7 or 8 cars parked in the neighborhood. Other than Ai Mi's Batmobile, the rest of the black cars were also luxurious. Although there weren't many pedestrians early in the morning, everyone who passed by would take a second look.
When Ai Mi was taken away, she didn't even say goodbye to me, she was pouting and sulking the whole time.
I suddenly thought of a very strange question: How could Xiao Qin not appear?
Even if the silencing foam was heaven-defying and didn't disturb Xiao Qin's sensitive hearing, we just talked so much and Ai Mi vomited milk for a long time, even a deaf person would have been woken up.
With Xiao Qin's personality, would she always hide in the house and not come out? These bodyguards were all over the age of 30, so they didn't meet the conditions for her 'androphobia' to flare up. Since she used the 'Egg Smashing Strike' on 004 and 005, then she already recognized them as enemies. It's too abnormal that she didn't react when her enemies broke into her house!
Other than me, there was only Peng TouSi, 004, and 005 left in the living room. Peng TouSi walked next to me and whispered to me: "Only once, don't give it to Miss again."
I absent-mindedly nodded and looked around for traces of Xiao Qin. At this time, Peng TouSi picked up the mop in the corner and personally wiped the milk that Ai Mi vomited on the floor.
From a normal person's point of view, Xiao Qin should still be in my bedroom, but my experience has always told me: You can't use a normal person's point of view to guess Xiao Qin.
All at once I saw a lithe figure pass by the window through which I had been looking down at the motorcade below.
Did … did she climb out the window again? Did she think that she was outnumbered, so she gave up the plan to kill her way out of the room and wanted to catch us off guard? You don't need to do such unnecessary things! What if you fall down and get hurt!
004 and 005 had their backs to the window, so they didn't notice anything unusual. However, Peng TouSi, who had a worse angle of view, frowned.
"It's Miss Xiao Qin, right? I told my subordinates not to make a move on Miss Xiao Qin. She's madam Ren's child, so it wouldn't be good to ruin our relationship. "
With a "whoosh", the kitchen window was opened from the outside and a black figure landed on the ground. She was barefooted, wearing a loose gray t-shirt and blue sports pants. Under her long bangs, her determined eyes burned with anger.
"You bastards!! — — How dare you invade our love nest!! "
Before she finished speaking, she rushed over like she was sprinting. She clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white and she waved them in front and behind her.
As if they had discussed it beforehand, 004 and 005 blocked in front of Peng TouSi at the same time. One extended his left hand and the other extended his right hand.
005 said in broken Chinese: "Pig Hand! We won't give you an IV! "
Why would Xiao Qin care? Halfway through, she suddenly lowered her body and made a feint with her left hand. It seemed like she was aiming at their crotch.
004 and 005 subconsciously clamped their legs together with an expression of lingering fear on their faces.
Unexpectedly, Xiao Qin changed her move midway. She spun her body and kicked 004's upper abdomen.
It didn't seem like the force was heavy as 004 easily blocked it with his abdominal muscles. This gave him the illusion that Xiao Qin was easy to deal with. So he laughed and took a step forward while reaching out his wide arms to catch Xiao Qin.
But his hand didn't even touch the tip of Xiao Qin's hair. Xiao Qin's body moved backward like an iron bridge. Her back was close to the ground and she just happened to escape 004's grasp. The position between her and 004 was like lying on a train track and letting the train fly over you.
With her back on the ground, Xiao Qin ruthlessly kicked out and hit 004's vitals. 004 immediately let out a frightening scream and fell to the ground while foaming at the mouth.
005 was shocked. He subconsciously wanted to reach for his weapon at his waist, but he might have remembered Peng TouSi's warning. While he was distracted, Xiao Qin flipped over from the floor and aimed at 005's crotch. With a clean sweep of her leg, 005 was lying on the floor with 004.
Until then, Xiao Qin let out a sigh of relief. This was the end of this set of egg breaking techniques.
Then she raised her head and looked at Peng TouSi's calm eyes. She nervously bit her lips.
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