"How ridiculous!" Zhuang Ni was dismissive of Xiao Qin's defense. "Even if Marilyn Monroe had extra toes and an incandescent light bulb that she couldn't take out when she put it in her mouth, it doesn't make sense that the hippopotamus is the second most murderous animal in the world!"
"There is no dispute that the mosquito is the most murderous animal, because it can transmit malaria, which kills more than one million people every year. Similarly, the tsetse fly that spreads the African sleeping sickness is the second most murderous animal. This disease kills nearly 100,000 humans every year … "
"Woo!" Xiao Qin lowered her voice and said to me, "This fly called Cai Cai is really vicious, it can actually kill 100,000 people every year. It seems that A-Lin must be careful and keep his distance from Gong CaiCai! "
Enough! The tsetse fly's "Cai" and Gong CaiCai's "Cai" were not the same word! The scientific name of the tsetse fly is "Tsetse fly", which is also translated as "stinging fly". It is a very ugly and very ferocious blood-sucking fly, and it doesn't resemble Gong CaiCai at all!
Zhuang Ni continued, "Snakes and scorpions rank third and fourth in terms of the number of people killed. Every year, 50,000 and 5,000 people are killed, respectively, before the hippopotamus. Hippopotamuses look docile, but they are easily provoked. Every year, no less than 3,000 people are killed by hippopotamuses …"
It had to be admitted that Zhuang Ni was very knowledgeable, and her data was quite accurate. Of the 3,000 people killed by hippos every year, most of them were black uncles in Africa. Last year, there was an unfortunate female tourist from China who was bitten to death by a hippopotamus in Kenya. The reason was that she angered the mother hippopotamus when she took a picture of the baby hippopotamus.
"There's a hole!" Xiao Qin raised her hand and said, "Malaria and sleeping sickness killed a lot of people, but didn't the plague kill a lot of people? Why don't you put rats first? "
The class leader, who didn't like black rats, frowned slightly. It was probably because of the frightening scene of black rats running through her mind.
Zhuang Ni answered without hesitation, "The main target of the plague is the fleas on the mice. Therefore, although the plague kills a lot of people, the mice and fleas cannot take credit for it alone. They have to be removed from the entire ranking list. Even if I add the mice and fleas to the ranking list, the hippopotamus will never be ranked second. Your argument is wrong, so Ye Lin must be sentenced to death! "
What was this all about? Why was I executed when the hippopotamus didn't get second place? The logic of the trial in the Moot Court has completely collapsed!
Since I was the one who told her about the hippopotamus in the past, I said: "The defense's arguments aren't wrong, it's just that there are some flaws in her language — — what she originally wanted to say was: the animal that kills the second most people without relying on germs or toxins is the hippopotamus!"
"Yes, yes!" Xiao Qin quickly echoed, "That's what I was going to say. I was nervous, so I let it slip!"
Zhuang Ni sneered and reminded us, "According to your rules, hippopotamuses should be the animals that kill the most humans! Because you've already eliminated the mosquitoes that spread the disease, haven't you? "
"Umm …" Xiao Qin was speechless. I threw out the argument I had already prepared: "It was a slip of the tongue to put mosquitoes first. In fact, the animals that kill the most humans are humans themselves! Are you going to deny that humans are a type of animal? "
"Well said, master!" Eunuch Cao applauded and cheered from the audience. "Counterattack, reasonable and convincing — Master is the undisputed best debater in this year's debate competition!"
"This isn't an animal-themed debate!" Jiang Qian snorted, "Shouldn't a court debate focus on whether the suspect is guilty or not?"
Jiang Qian's three boyfriends also chimed in:
"That's right, the hippopotamus has nothing to do with the case. The defense threw out the hippopotamus to stall for time!"
"That's right, even if Ye Lin was riding a hippopotamus during the robbery, it doesn't prove he's innocent!"
"I agree, even if Ye Lin is a hippopotamus, he still has to take legal responsibility for robbing others!"
Xiao Qin muttered to herself as if she received a revelation: "Because Ah Lin is very perverted, his nostrils are getting bigger and bigger. If this continues, he might really turn into a hippopotamus …"
Who's a hippopotamus! Isn't it enough to give me the nickname 'Wild Donkey'?
Zhuang Ni lightly tapped the blackboard eraser that served as a gavel.
"The defense's sophistry doesn't hold water! The defendant, Ye Lin, used violence and coercion to rob students at 28 Middle School for the purpose of illegal possession. During the robbery, he caused minor injuries to the victims. The nature of the crime is serious and conforms to Article 263 of the Criminal Law. Article 263 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China states that anyone who uses violence, coercion, or other methods to rob public or private property shall be sentenced to imprisonment from three to ten years and a fine. Under any of the following circumstances, the person shall be sentenced to imprisonment from ten to ten years, life imprisonment, or death, and a fine or confiscation of property: (1) Burglary; (2) Robbery on public transportation; (3) Robbery of banks or other financial institutions; (4) Multiple robberies or a large amount of robberies; (5) Robbery resulting in serious injury or death; (6) Someone named Ye Lin … "
Hey! What's with the sixth article? Why am I being sentenced to a heavy sentence just because I'm called that? This edition of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China was edited by Zhuang Ni, right?
"There's no other way." Xiao Qin slapped the table and interrupted Zhuang Ni's sentence. She had the posture of a Japanese manga protagonist, "I suspect that the vice presiding judge is as mentally unstable as the presiding judge. He probably escaped from Dong Shan Mental Hospital! You have to pass my proposed test to prove that you're not insane! "
"What test?" Zhuang Ni looked at Xiao Qin curiously. Since Xiao Qin and the others recently celebrated her birthday, she had an extra tolerance for everyone.
Xiao Qin pointed to the blackboard, "I suspect that there's something wrong with the vice presiding judge's cognitive region. She might not be able to distinguish between living and non-living things! Although she just talked about a lot of animals, I don't think she has a real concept of these animals! For example, she only knows how to say the word hippopotamus, but she doesn't know what a hippopotamus is! If you don't admit this, then draw a hippopotamus on the blackboard for everyone to see! "
Xiao Qin's unreasonableness reached a new level, causing the people who knew Zhuang Ni to burst into laughter.
It's true that Zhuang Ni's drawing skills were high, but she liked to draw melancholy girls, gothic landscapes, and abyssal starry skies. She rarely drew animals, especially a hippopotamus that lacked the beauty of a lily. It would be difficult for Zhuang Ni to draw a hippopotamus on the blackboard.
However, Zhuang Ni insisted on fighting with Xiao Qin to the end today. She got up and took a piece of chalk from the chalk box when she stepped onto the podium. She began to draw a realistic hippopotamus on the blackboard with the demeanor of a master.
In just a few strokes, the hippopotamus's head and two adorable little ears appeared, causing the audience to gasp in admiration.
"There's still ten minutes." The class leader reminded as she looked at the clock on the blackboard. She also understood that the free-for-all mock court drama had completely gone out of control, so she could only pray that this farce would end soon.
"Wait, wait!" Xiao Qin jumped in anxiety when she saw Zhuang Ni drawing the hippopotamus, "I request to compete with the vice presiding judge! I also want to draw a hippopotamus! If I draw better than the vice presiding judge, then Ah Lin should be acquitted! "
Which country would have such a bizarre defense of innocence? If guilt or innocence was determined by drawing skills, then wouldn't Da Vinci and Van Gogh be existences that ran amok?
Without waiting for the court's approval, Xiao Qin jumped onto the podium and picked a piece of colored chalk to draw a cartoon-style hippopotamus on Zhuang Ni's left side. Because she was in a hurry, the sound of the chalk rubbing against the blackboard made many students frown and cover their ears.
Huh? Xiao Qin's drawing skills have improved! Although the lines of the hippopotamus were childish, you could barely tell that it was an animal, it was no longer a combination of potato and eggplant!
But why is this hippopotamus so skinny? Is it sick? Also, the ears were unexpectedly long, Xiao Qin had to use the blackboard eraser twice to shorten the ears to normal length …
Xiong YaoYue couldn't help but ridicule: "Is this a hippopotamus? Why does it look like a donkey? "
Damn! It really was made from a donkey! Xiao Qin drew the donkey's ears short, then drew its nostrils big, forcefully turning a donkey into a hippopotamus! Also, every time you can't draw, you would turn around and look at me as if I was a model!
Am I a genuine wild donkey in your eyes?! Then the hippopotamus is a fat, short-eared, perverted version of me! If it wasn't for the fact that there was no table in front of me, I would have flipped the table!
Under the laughter of the entire class, Zhuang Ni temporarily stopped drawing and glanced at Xiao Qin. When she realized Xiao Qin was copying me, the corners of her mouth couldn't help but curve.
"What are you looking at?" Xiao Qin was not satisfied with her drawing, so she repeatedly corrected it with the blackboard eraser. The hippopotamus that looked 70% like a donkey already had the style of Picasso.
"Clank, clank clank clank clank — —"
Just as everyone was looking forward to the next stage of the absurd trial, the table in the classroom suddenly shook, and a lot of dust fell from the fluorescent lights on the ceiling.
The class leader reacted immediately: "It's an earthquake! Everyone, protect your head and don't move. There are no precedents of earthquakes in Dong Shan city, so it should be over soon! "
Just like the class leader said, the tremors only lasted for five or six seconds before completely disappearing. But just as everyone breathed a sigh of relief, the one meter tall and three meter long blackboard above the podium made an ominous creaking sound, then it came crashing down like a mountain.
Holy sh * t! It's not fun to be hit by a blackboard! When my dad was giving a lecture in university, the blackboard accidentally fell, and the female teacher who was giving the lecture was smashed onto the desk. Her three front teeth were knocked out! Now Xiao Qin and Zhuang Ni are in the same dangerous situation!
My body rushed forward to save them like a tiger, but I knew it was too late. There were desks in between me and the podium. Xiao Qin and Zhuang Ni would be hit by the blackboard before I could get close.
In the nick of time, Xiao Qin turned her head and exchanged glances with me. Then she made a decision that even surprised herself.
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