Online.
Watching the live broadcast of the crosstalk competition, countless people were dumbfounded!
"Teacher Zhang is going all out!"
"Haha, these people are out of luck!"
"This has angered Teacher Zhang!"
"If Zhang Ye really wants to be a hooligan, no one in the world can stop him!"
"Awesome! Well scolded! How liberating! There were so many things in society that did not lead the audience astray, so why couldn't Teacher Zhang do crosstalk? Is he going to die soon? "
"Supporting Zhang Ye!"
"You've touched my heart!"
…
At the venue.
The audience was also very excited.
Zhang Ye said, "If crosstalk could have such great power, then why would we need to research missiles or nuclear weapons? Why would we need an army? We could just get a bunch of crosstalk actors to perform crosstalk and wipe out anyone who gets in their way!"
The audience applauded!
"Alright!"
"Well said!"
Zhang Ye carried on, "Some people like to talk about vulgarity all the time. Only by doing so can they show their elegance. When the upper class says that people are vulgar, that is just pretending to be ignorant. When experts and scholars say that people are vulgar, that is because the East Wind is broken... I am even more broken than the East Wind!" Amidst the laughter of the audience, he said, "When crosstalk actors say that others are vulgar, that is because they are envious! Jealousy! Hate! "
Applause rang out again!
"Hahaha!"
"Squeak!!"
The crosstalk artists nearly cursed out loud!
The group of crosstalk competition participants who had collectively boycotted Zhang Ye were all furious!
Yao Jiancai smiled and said, "Only between people of the same trade would there be naked hatred."
Zhang Ye said, "I have a poem that describes the current state of the crosstalk world."
Yao Jiancai said, "You can recite it."
Zhang Ye recited, "Looking forward to spring in the depths of winter, looking forward to the rising sun in the middle of the night …" Zhang Ye had recited this poem before. It was called "Eight Hopes". Upon saying this, many of the audience members who had heard it began to recite it loudly. Zhang Ye could not help but slow down his recitation and recite it along with everyone!
Everyone: "Beautiful as a flower and as beautiful as the moon, looking forward to a rich man!"
Everyone: "An idle mistress looks forward to a rogue!"
Everyone: "Ye Du's Wolf Longing for a Female Ghost!"
Ten people …
Fifty people …
A hundred people …
Everyone was chanting, and the scene was quite spectacular!
"A single old man longing for an aunt!"
"Acting is looking forward to winning an award!"
With the last line, Zhang Ye and everyone else shouted at the top of their lungs, "Crosstalkers look forward to... death! Same! Sure! " Then, everyone burst out laughing in unison. The coordination on and off the stage was simply too good, and they were having a great time!
Yao Jiancai said happily, "Great, this is too neat!"
In the past, Zhang Ye had used this poem to scold the literary world. It was very famous and very catchy. Many people could memorize it after reading it twice. That was why there was such a spectacular scene!
But while Zhang Ye and the audience were having fun, those people from the crosstalk world were so angry that they nearly bit someone. Zhang Ye, your grandpa! After you're done scolding us, you're going to scold us along with the audience? You're wicked of the five elements! These commoners were the same! What are you guys making a ruckus for?
Zhang Ye said, "What is elegance? What is vulgar? "
Yao Jiancai said, "A lot of people on the Internet are also discussing this."
Zhang Ye said, "One of our crosstalk actors said that listening to symphonies is elegant, while listening to online songs is vulgar."
"Hi." Yao Jiancai shook his head.
Zhang Ye: "Listening to celebrities lip-syncing is elegant, but reading original works on the internet is vulgar!"
Yao Jiancai laughed, "What a joke."
Zhang Ye: "Looking at human body art is elegant, but a couple telling dirty jokes is vulgar!" Following that, "Drinking coffee is elegant, but eating garlic … is vulgar!"
"Yi!"
The audience burst into laughter. Of course, they had seen Tang Dazhang and one of his disciples saying that Zhang Ye's work was as vulgar as eating garlic yesterday!
Zhang Ye scolded, "A great man taught us … Go f * * k your grandma!"
Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "Which great man said that?"
"My second uncle." Zhang Ye said.
"Alright!"
"Hahaha!"
"Go f * * k your grandma!"
The audience also joined in the scolding!
Zhang Ye said, "Let me reiterate once again. Elegance is not something that can be faked …" He emphasized his scolding, "Only a grandson can be faked!"
Tang Dazhang was so angry that he wanted to leave the venue!
This was also the first time the other crosstalk actors had seen someone doing crosstalk in such a manner at a crosstalk competition!
Zhang Ye continued scolding, "If you have the time, why don't you talk about tongue twisters and practice your basic skills instead? For crosstalk, this is the proper business. "
Yao Jiancai nodded, "That's true."
The more Zhang Ye spoke, the more excited he became. "Sometimes when I see them faking, I get angry. Good, good, good life. What's wrong with them doing it all day long? The moment he got on the bus, he was squeezed like a sour pear. His face turned green and he even had to beg for an English newspaper. Do you even know it!? "
The audience laughed, "Hahaha!"
Zhang Ye said, "Even on the side of the road, half of it is Chinese and the other half is English!"
Yao Jiancai said, "Is that so?"
Zhang Ye said, "Even when I buy an apple, hello, grandpa. Let me look, is your apple 2 yuan/7kg?" His voice changed, "You've already bought rotten apples, so why are you still so smug!? It's all this stuff! "
Yao Jiancai smiled, "There is."
Zhang Ye said, "There's also that one with a big yellow chain!"
Some observant people suddenly realized that there was a crosstalk actor in his forties sitting in the front row. He was wearing a big gold chain around his neck. This person was also one of the main forces to boycott Zhang Ye on Weibo. He was very famous in the crosstalk world and was not any less experienced than Tang Dazhang. He was one of the upper echelons of the Crosstalk Association.
Yao Jiancai asked, "Gold chain?"
Zhang Ye curled his lips, "Don't sweat. If you sweat, your back will get dirty!"
Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "Will it stain? Isn't it made of gold? "
Zhang Ye mocked, "It's made of plastic. It's filled with copper!"
Yao Jiancai laughed, "Alright, this is too much of a knockoff!"
The face of the crosstalk actor wearing the gold chain suddenly turned the color of a pig's liver! He wished he could vomit a mouthful of blood! He did not expect Zhang Ye to scold him!
Zhang Ye continued scolding, "There's also someone. Aiya, I bought a shampoo and I need to go to some Hong Kong store. Come on! You don't even have as much hair as Teacher Yao! "
Yao Jiancai had shaved his head due to filming. Upon hearing this, he said in a speechless manner, "Baldy? Then why do you need to wash your hair! "
Zhang Ye said, "That's what I'm talking about."
Below the stage, the three crosstalk actors who had scolded Zhang Ye previously were all bald. When they heard this, they nearly rolled up their sleeves and went up to beat them up!
It was unknown what the cameraman was thinking, but he even turned the camera over. Maybe he knew it was not going to be a live broadcast, so he subconsciously turned the camera over!
On the big screen, the expressions of the three bald crosstalk actors appeared!
When the audience saw this, they all cramped up with laughter!
"Hahahaha!"
"Aiyah, I can't take it anymore!"
Zhang Ye said calmly, "There's even someone who wet his pants and insisted on telling others that he dropped it while eating abalone.... If you peed your pants, just say that you peed your pants!"
Yao Jiancai, "Whoa!"
Audience, "Pfft! Hahahaha! "
Zhang Ye said, "And there's that guy. After eating here, I wanted to sign the bill, but the waiter said, 'Sorry, sir, we can't sign the bill.' Then I'll pay with a credit card.... "Zhang Ye paused for a moment, then said with disdain," Why do you need to pay with a credit card just to have a bowl of wontons!? "
Yao Jiancai was also amused, "It's not worth it."
Zhang Ye said, "What a bunch of pretentious people! Especially for us in the crosstalk industry. All we ask for is elegance in this and that. Wasn't it like that yesterday? The China crosstalk world held another meeting. "
Yao Jiancai blinked and said, "They're really diligent this time."
Zhang Ye laughed, "That's true. These people have no place to perform crosstalk, so they're left with a meeting!"
Yao Jiancai said, "Where did they go to practice their basic skills?"
The audience laughed!
Zhang Ye said, "Later on, there was an expert, a crosstalk expert, Xu Mou."
Yao Jiancai said, "Even the expert doesn't dare to leave his full name?"
Xu Mou?
Crosstalk master Xu Wenxiang?
Many of the audience members perked up!
Zhang Ye said, "He asked me to go over to his house. He said, 'Comrade Little Zhang, come over and I'll explain to you what elegance and vulgarity are.' It wouldn't be appropriate if I didn't go, so I went. "
Yao Jiancai nodded and said, "I had to go."
Zhang Ye said, "When I went in, hur, there was even a couplet hanging on the wall of his house. It was very cultured — Lying on the beach for two and a half years, when the waves hit me today, I turned over."
Yao Jiancai wondered, "Oh?"
Zhang Ye said in surprise, "When I saw it, it was a tortoise!"
The thousands of audience members were rocking back and forth with laughter! How sarcastic! How fucking sarcastic!
When Xu Wenxiang, who was in the audience, heard that, his body trembled! His beard was bursting with anger!
The other crosstalk actors and artists were also in an uproar! Holy shit! Zhang Ye, you really fucking dare to scold anyone! Master Xu, you even dare to make up stories??
Yao Jiancai sighed and said, "An expert is really good at guessing riddles."
Zhang Ye said, "There are still two books on his desk at home. They're both very profound and I can tell that they're only read by a learned and elegant person."
Yao Jiancai asked, "What books are they?"
Zhang Ye counted with his fingers and said, "One of them is Xinhua Dictionary."
Yao Jiancai nodded and said, "There's a lot of knowledge in dictionaries and it's not easy to understand. What about the second book?"
Zhang Ye said, "The second book is How to Look Up a Dictionary!"
Yao Jiancai nearly fainted, "Wow, this person doesn't even know how to read a dictionary!"
The audience laughed, "Pfft, hahaha!"
Zhang Ye said helplessly, "Then the old artist started lecturing me. About this, we must be elegant and not vulgar. We're putting our lives on the line to be elegant, so we must not be vulgar. After lecturing for so long, he didn't even have a proper sentence to say. In the end, he even said, 'Ah, Little Zhang, don't be unhappy. You can choose not to be silent, but we will make you silent very soon. We know how to write anonymous letters and make reports. We know how to do all of that, understand? "
Snitch?
Wasn't this the reason why Zhang Ye and the others were given a warning!
The audience jeered, "Yi!!"
The expressions of the crosstalk world's people changed again!
Zhang Ye mimicked and said, "The old artist even said in earnest that you might not understand me. That's why you're scolding me now that you don't understand me. But when you understand me … you'll have to kill me!"
The audience laughed, "Hahahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai said, "Whoa, he also knows that he's being hated!"
Zhang Ye said, "He even said that we must work hard to be elegant and keep pushing ourselves higher so that in the future, when we look down from the Moon, we won't even be able to see Earth. We'll only be able to see this bunch of crosstalk performers being elegant in space!"
They even saw the Great Wall the last time!
This time, you won't even be able to see Earth?
The thousands of people in the audience were already laughing uncontrollably!
Yao Jiancai also chuckled, "Even Earth is gone? This bunch of people sure know how to cause a ruckus. "
Zhang Ye sighed and said, "After we came out, I thought to myself, 'This bunch of crosstalk performers from China should be executed by shooting every two of them. There's definitely no wrongdoing here!"
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