"She didn't say. She seems to have expectations for that man, but she doesn't have confidence in herself. Don't blame your sister. She's been suffering. She hasn't had a good life since she was young. "
The next day, Xu Yao came to find Xu Lan. That was what she said.
However, he couldn't completely understand his sister at that time. He hated her more, hated her for not living up to his expectations.
His sister's life was ruined.
At noon, Song Zhongji knocked on the courtyard door with two fish. He stood in the courtyard and said to the pregnant Xu Ru, "Is Ah Rong here? He asked me to catch the fish. He said it's for your health."
"Thank you. He went out with Ah Guang." Xu Ru said.
"What are you thanking me for? Five cents." Song Zhongji grinned.
"…" Xu Ru was stunned and nodded. "I'll get you the money."
"No, it's not convenient for you. I'll ask Ah Rong when he comes back."
As he spoke, Song Zhongji scooped a basin of water and placed the half-dead fish inside.
This man was idle and didn't like to work in the field. He was good at catching fish and birds. He was the only one who didn't "criticize" Xu Ru. He was probably a bad person and didn't have the right to criticize her. Maybe he wasn't interested in gossiping, or maybe he was a coward and was afraid that Xu Yao would beat him.
The day of labor came soon.
Xu Ru was Mr. Xu. She didn't go to the county hospital. She didn't have the means to go to the hospital back then. In the countryside, she usually went to the village doctor. It was slightly better than the barefoot doctor. She had studied medicine for a few years, but her standard was definitely bad. Otherwise, she wouldn't be in the countryside but in the hospital.
Xujia Town was too poor to have a health center. There was a health center in the neighboring town.
At noon, her water broke and she started to have labor pains. The child was born at ten o 'clock at night.
It was a boy.
Everything was settled.
It was the first time in her life that she was a mother. Xu Ru threw away all her worries and only the love of a mother was left.
Xu Yao felt that he should hate this child. But when he saw the baby sleeping in the swaddling clothes and couldn't open his eyes to see the world, he clenched his little fist and slept quietly.
His heart suddenly softened.
Due to malnutrition, the baby was only 2.4 kilograms at birth, which was medium small.
"The baby is so cute. Have you given him a name?"
Xu Lan, who was pregnant, watched from the side with a smile on her face.
Xu Ru shook her head and helplessly said, "Ah Rong refused to help. He still has a thorn in his heart."
Xu Lan said angrily, "Ignore him. I've prepared a few names. Do you want to choose one?"
"What name?"
"Qin Hao, Qin Xiaofan … Just pick one and change it to Xu," Xu Lan said excitedly. "Xu Xiaofan doesn't sound good. How about Xu Hao?"
Xu Ru nodded and smiled, "Alright."
"By the way, I brought milk powder over. You can use it first. When I give birth to Bao Bao, I produce more milk, so you shouldn't be short of milk," Xu Lan said.
As Xu Ru's bones were severely damaged and she was malnourished for a long time, she did not have much milk. Since it was related to her son's rations, she didn't refuse in the end.
A very realistic and serious problem was placed in front of them. The brother and sister, who had depended on each other since they were young, still depended on each other for survival. Moreover, they had an additional life.
Her sister, who had carried the burden of the family on her own, was weak after giving birth. It was difficult for her to continue living.
Raising a child was not easy. According to later statistics, more than 40 million children died in the 90s.
That night, Xu Ru looked at her child and said nothing.
The next morning, she called Xu Yao to her room alone and asked him: "Do you miss University?"
Xu Yao was speechless. His gaze fell on the baby's face.
The baby was sleeping, but suddenly his small body trembled. He whimpered a few times like a mosquito.
Xu Ru quickly comforted the child.
"Don't worry about him. Tell me, do you miss him?" Xu Ru said.
"Yes!" Xu Yao said.
He wanted it. He wanted it more than ever.
Studying can change one's fate. It can also restore one's dignity.
He longed for success. He longed to escape poverty. He longed to regain his sister's lost dignity.
Xu Ru nodded.
A few days passed like this. One night, Xu Ru was suddenly woken up by urgent knocking on the door. The baby was crying loudly.
"Rong, sister Ru," Xu Guang said with a sobbing voice: "My sister fell down."
He knocked on the door with all his might.
Xu Ru sat up in shock. Her sleepiness disappeared. Before she could call for help, Xu Yao from the next room had already rushed into the courtyard. When she opened the door, Xu Guang was standing there with a panicked expression.
"What happened?"
"My sister slipped when she went to the toilet at night. She, she was covered in blood …"
Xu Ru heard it and her face turned pale. She couldn't care less about comforting the child and shouted: "Rong, Rong …"
No one answered her. Xu Yao had already rushed out of the house with Xu Guang.
.....
The next day at five o 'clock in the morning, Xu Ru, who hadn't slept the whole night, finally waited for her brother to come back.
"We took her to the health center. Xiao Lan was already unconscious and couldn't give birth naturally. They said there was no way. The fetus might be injured and asked us to send her to the hospital. The health center car took us to the county. The hospital gave her a cesarean section. The baby was alive when it came out, but it didn't survive for more than two hours. The doctors couldn't save it, they went …" Xu Yao's eyes were bloodshot.
"Where's Xiao Lan?" Xu Ru cried.
"She hasn't woken up yet. Ah Guang is in the hospital, squatting outside the ward and crying." Xu Yao covered his face and said with a trembling voice: "A good child, gone just like that."
After a while, Xu Ru said: "Rong, let's go to the county now."
It was six o 'clock in the morning when they arrived at the hospital. There weren't many people in the hospital and the air was filled with the smell of disinfectant. One or two patients could be seen on the benches in the corridor with intravenous drips.
The nurse on the night shift looked exhausted.
In the small ward, Xu Ru saw Xu Lan. She had already woken up and was staring at the ceiling with her eyes wide open like a lifeless paper flower.
Xu Guang's eyes were red as he sat by the bed.
"Rong, Ah Guang, go out for a while. I have something to say to Xiao Lan," Xu Ru said as she held the child in her arms.
After the two left, she sat by the bed and whispered: "The child is gone."
This sentence seemed to awaken Xu Lan who was on the verge of despair. Her face was expressionless as her eyelashes trembled. Then, she started crying. She cried heartbroken like a mother who had lost her child.
"There's nothing that can't be overcome," Xu Ru said: "After so many years, it's all because of this sentence that I can survive until now. Every time I feel despair, I will think of Rong and there will be hope in my heart. You still have Bao Bao. You can't break down. "
"Ah Guang said it's a son," Xu Lan said softly.
There was a strange silence in her expression.
"My first child was a girl. Although he didn't say anything, I knew he wanted a son."
"I thought that since I married into the Qin family, I should give birth to a child for him to carry on the family line."
"The child is gone, and the investigation is so strict now … My father doesn't want me to have another child. I quarreled with my parents. A person like him, without this child, even if he wants a son, he won't let me have another child. "
"Ah Guang said it's a son … He has always wanted a son … I can't lose this child, I can't lose his … Sob, my child."
At first, she could speak calmly, but gradually, her emotions became agitated. Xu Lan's body twitched as she cried, and her words were incoherent.
Xu Ru placed the baby in her arms beside her and said in a low voice: "From now on, he will be your son."
Her voice was very soft, and the expression on her face was very complicated. Reluctance and pain intertwined.
Xu Lan stopped crying and looked at her without saying a word.
"He will be your son," Xu Ru repeated.
"Are you comforting me?"
"No, I'm serious," Xu Ru said.
"Why?"
"Ah Rong said he wants to go to university. I can't afford his education, let alone raise this child. Who can a woman with such a bad reputation like me marry? " Xu Ru smiled sadly: "The child and Ah Rong are my burdens. I can't bear the fate of both of them at the same time. I have to give up one of them."
Xu Ru's fingertips trembled as she stroked the child's cheek: "Perhaps in your eyes, the birth of this child is a mistake. Then between the two, I choose Ah Rong. I will bear my mistakes. I will bear all the pain and regret in the future alone. At least I can still face my parents. "
"You are right. The child can't live without a father. Little Lan, you can give him a better family and a better environment to grow up in. He can grow up without worries and won't have to worry about being called a bastard when he grows up. "
"Your husband wants a son. You can imagine how sad he will be when he learns of this bad news. Are you also afraid that because of this matter, it will become a knot between you two? "
Xu Ru's face was covered in tears: "Little Lan, just treat it as us saving each other."
Xu Lan reached out, wanting to touch the child, but the moment she touched him, she retracted her hand as if she had been electrocuted.
She was stunned for a moment. "Sister Ru, from today onwards, this child is mine and has nothing to do with your family. I will raise him, give him the best environment, and raise him as my own son. You and Ah Rong can't go back on your word in the future. "
"Okay," Xu Ru said.
As soon as she said this word, her entire body collapsed.
"What do you need me to do for you?"
"… When he grows up, bring him to Xu Town to visit me every summer."
"Okay."
Outside the door, two youths stood there.
"Why are you two standing at the door?" The doctor in a white coat walked to the door of the ward.
The two youths were in tears, and the doctor wasn't surprised at all.
He pushed the door open and glanced at the ward, holding a stack of reports in his hand: "You came last night, right? The doctor last night got off work, and I'm in charge of your ward. My condolences, I'll register you again. What's your name? "
Xu Lan opened her mouth.
Xu Ru said: "Xu Ru!"
"Xu Ru, right?" The doctor wrote a few notes: "In a while, I'll get the nurse to take you for a check-up. After a miscarriage, you have to pay more attention to your body, or else you'll have a lingering illness."
.....
Soon, rumors began to spread throughout the Xu Town.
Xu Ru's child died prematurely, and the bastard she was carrying outside had a short life. Xu Lan, who came to Xu Town to recuperate, gave birth to a fat boy after a month of recuperation in the hospital.
Later, Xu Ru got married to the man who had never 'commented' on her, a man who didn't do a proper job.
A woman who got pregnant out of wedlock, a man who ate and was lazy.
Wasn't it a good match?
Many days ago, the day after Xu Yao said that he wanted to go to university, Song Zhongji sent fish again.
"Ah Rong asked you to send fish again?" Xu Ru said awkwardly: "I'm sorry, we don't have much money at home."
After sitting around and eating for so long, they really didn't have much money.
"It's free. We're from the same hometown. It's just two fish." Song Zhongji said: "Aren't you pregnant? You have to nourish your body … After all, we've known each other since we were young."
Xu Ru was stunned and hesitated: "Do you have a girlfriend now?"
"Who's willing to marry me?" Song Zhongji scratched his head.
"Then do you have money for a wife?"
Why did she ask this? It was a little strange. Song Zhongji said: "Don't think that I like to gamble, but no matter if I win or lose, I'll save some money. As I save, I'll have money for a wife."
"Then are you willing to marry me?"
"I won't raise someone else's son."
"Don't worry, I'll give the child away."
"Really?"
"But you have to help me support Ah Rong's studies."
.....
For Xu Ru, instead of giving it to someone else, giving it to her best friend who grew up with her was the best ending.
Song Zhongji was a man of his word. A weak man had his advantages.
On the day Xu Lan left, Xu Yao stood outside the town and watched the bus leave.
He, who had never smoked, squatted by the side of the road and smoked an entire pack of cigarettes.
Later on, Xu Yao went to college as he wished and became successful as he wished.
But he couldn't pay back the debt he owed his sister in this lifetime.
He regretted that morning countless times, regretting that he said, "Yes!"
In the years after that, he rarely stepped into Xu Town. He married a rich lady in Wen City and settled down in Wen City.
Everyone in Xu Town said that this chicken flew to the branch and became a golden phoenix, forgetting his roots. In fact, he was afraid to face his sister.
Every time he saw his sister's aging face, he would think of that unbearable past.
"On the day she passed away, she said a lot to me. She said that she didn't disappoint her parents and that I finally stood out. But I knew that what she wanted to say the most was' Azé '. We worked hard to change our fate, but I couldn't change the past in my life. "
Xu Yao sat in front of the grave. His expensive suit was covered in dust.
"After my sister died, my biggest wish in life wasn't to stand out, but to bring you here one day, point at this tombstone, and tell you that she was your biological mother.
"This was her biggest wish before she died. She didn't say it, but I knew. It was because of me that you and your son were separated for more than twenty years. It was all my fault. It was my responsibility. "
This was the biggest pain in his life.
Therefore, he went crazy and wanted Qin Ze to "acknowledge his ancestors" in order to make up for his past mistakes.
He wanted to make his conscience feel better.
"But we promised Xiao Lan that we wouldn't talk about this in our lives. As long as she doesn't agree, I won't tell her. "
Qin Ze said bitterly, "That means, my dad … doesn't know about this."
"That's not important." Xu Yao said.
"Azé, you can't tell your dad the truth. It might be your mom's fault for hiding it from him, but this kind of thing can only be kept a secret. The longer it goes, the more you can't tell him." Xu Guang's voice was almost pleading.
This was very important, very important.
Qin Ze said in his heart.
He had read the old man's diary and knew what was going on. But he hoped that the old man knew about this but kept it to himself and pretended that he had a son.
Think about it, any man would know that the son he raised for more than twenty years was not his.
His mentality would explode.
The situation would get out of control. What would happen to mom?
What would happen to me and my sister?
"I'm sorry, I don't know who your biological father is." Xu Yao said dejectedly.
"It's okay. Just pretend that he's dead." Qin Ze's tone was calm.
I only have one father. His name is Qin Jianzhang.
"And Zhilong …"
"What does it have to do with me?" Qin Ze interrupted him. "I don't have any brothers, only my sister. I can accept what happened back then and face my biological mother calmly. I can also face you, my uncle calmly, but that's all. I have my life, I have my family. There's no need to cut off contact, but I hope you won't take the initiative to disturb my life in the future, especially in front of my mom. "
Xu Yao nodded.
After crying and untying the knot in his heart for many years, he felt much more relaxed.
"Can you call her mom?" Xu Yao looked forward to it.
Qin Ze was stunned. He stared at the tombstone.
He opened his mouth and spat out a very simple word, but he couldn't spit it out.
.....
The high-speed train to Shanghai.
Su Yu snuggled in Qin Ze's arms. Women were always emotional. After shedding a few pounds of tears for the biological mother of her beloved, Su Yu became listless and didn't feel better for a while.
Qin Ze was much calmer.
"Do you think it's too cold?" Qin Ze's fingertips flowed through her hair.
Su Yu wanted to shake her head, but finally nodded.
"Sadness doesn't have to be shown. The past is all in the past, and the people who leave will never come back. You can't change anything. " Qin Ze sighed: "If she was still alive, I would treat her better, but, as they agreed, I will always have only one mother."
Raising kindness is better than giving birth to kindness.
"Don't you want to know who your biological father is?"
"Do you think I should go find him?"
Su Yu thought about it, shook her head, and said, "You shouldn't look for him, but you can't help but think about it."
"Think? Why do you want to think about it? He may still be in that small county, living a mediocre life for half of his life, or he may sigh that he had an illegitimate child. But what does it have to do with me? The world is so big, I can't go find him. "
"I said, let's just treat him as dead."
Why do you want to find him? Do you want to cry and recognize him as your flesh and blood?
I'm afraid that he will stick to me like a dog-skin plaster. Anyway, he's a big boss with a net worth of billions.
What if he makes my family restless?
2018, midsummer in September.
Qin Ze, who finally learned about his life, could finally face his life more calmly.
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