At the end of 1993, in an underdeveloped county town, Xu Yao carried a cloth bag sewn by his sister and walked in a dirty alley. On both sides of the road were mottled old houses. The water pipes were rusty and there was a trash can in front of every house, emitting a faint stench.
He and his sister lived in a small alley. The location was bad and the rent was not expensive. In this era, there were very few people who came to the city to work and rent a house.
Xu Yao came to the door of his house, took out the key and opened the door.
It was a small house with only 30 square meters. The curtains were drawn to separate the two rooms, one for the sister and one for the brother. There was only one bed in his sister's room and her clothes were kept in a box.
Xu Yao's' room 'had an extra desk and a lamp. When she bought the desk and lamp for him, his sister was distressed for a long time, but she still bought it.
The meal was cooked in the corridor. There was a small stove, a pot, and coal to cook. It was simple and crude. The better families had already bought a gas stove, but Xu Yao and his sister could not afford it.
Usually, at this time, his sister would be cooking in the corridor and Xu Yao, who came home from school, would make some handicrafts. It was a private job that his sister took after work. She could earn a few yuan every day.
"Sister?" Xu Yao entered the house and shouted. His sister was not in the room.
She might have found some work outside. She often did this. Every day, she would walk around the county town and take on all kinds of jobs. As long as she could earn money, she could also do what men could do.
Xu Yao put down his bag and saw a bag of unfinished handicrafts beside his sister's bed. She should have come back. Did she go out to buy groceries?
He was in a good mood today because he got the first place in the school test results.
The teachers liked this plainly dressed student very much. He was hardworking, hardworking, and serious. They said that he was a good seedling who could enter university.
At that time, the teachers were so simple and honest. They could not wait to pour out their hearts and lungs to their students. When they met a motivated student, they liked him more than their own son.
At that time, the female students were also very pure. They liked straight-A students and boys who were motivated. Even if Xu Yao looked very ordinary, there were many girls who sent him love letters in private.
It was different from the later love letters. The current love letter was very reserved and reserved. First, he wrote a modern poem about a famous person. At the end, he added: What do you think of this poem? Then she would pass it to the boy she liked. If the boy was also interested in the girl, he would write back and secretly put it in her drawer the next day.
After a while, the story came out.
At the age of eighteen, love was inexperienced and immature, but it was also beautiful. After this age, even if she fell in love again, she would not be able to find that kind of feeling.
However, Xu Yao did not care about the girl's hints and love letters. He was like a stone statue standing in the rain of flowers, watching the petals fall one by one. He was too lazy to reach out to catch one of the beautiful petals.
He didn't have the capital to fall in love, nor was he interested in it. A village boy only knew how to bury his head in books and live up to his sister's expectations.
Moreover, Ding Xianghua had drifted to Shanghai with the wind. She had originally wanted to enter Fudan University, but she had gotten married in her first year of high school.
She married a bandit from Shanghai.
Xu Yao had not recovered for a long time. At one point, he wanted to hit someone when he heard Shanghai.
He was too silent, low-key, and reserved. He had always suppressed his feelings of love in his heart. But what was the value of not saying it out loud?
On the day of the wedding, Xu Yao went and got the fare from his sister. It was very expensive, so expensive that he almost cried.
At the wedding, his Ding Xianghua was very beautiful … No, that was no longer his Ding Xianghua. It was the flower of the man who was the teacher.
Lil 'Lan was very happy to see him. She was happy from the bottom of her heart and gave Xu Yao some comfort.
The girl I like is more important to me than a thousand gold coins. I'm glad that I'm not as light as a feather in her heart.
The man looked at his newlywed wife with a smile.
His wife introduced him, "This is my younger brother from my hometown."
Reality gave Xu Yao a heavy blow. At that time, he asked himself in his heart, "So, he's just a younger brother …"
His heart suddenly ached, but he still did not cry.
But when he really cried, it was after the wedding banquet. That kid, Xu Guang, said, "Is your sister's problem because of your sister?"
Xu Yao cried, and then he beat that kid until he cried too.
Xu Guang was born a little early. If it were now, he would definitely comfort Xu Yao with another sentence, such as, "Ah Rong, don't cry. Stand up and play."
Xu Yao sat on the bed, making handicrafts, and let his imagination run wild. His sister's hand was full of frostbite in winter and was dripping with blood.
Unknowingly, it was almost dark, but his sister still hadn't returned.
Xu Yao decided to go downstairs to look for her. He closed the door and left the residential building. At the corner, he saw his sister talking to a man in the twilight. The two of them were holding hands, and he could vaguely see the man's face.
It was a calm and serious young man. When he talked to his sister, his eyes were full of smiles.
When Xu Yao saw him, the young man also saw Xu Yao. Perhaps he felt that the young man's gaze was too sharp, and he was stunned.
His elder sister noticed his momentary daze and turned to look at him, following his gaze.
His sister's expression changed slightly. She whispered a few words to the young man and turned to face Xu Yao.
"Who is he?" Xu Yao asked.
"Friend … friend. He helped me." Xu Ru explained briefly and changed the topic. "Sister came back late because of something. Ah Rong, are you hungry?"
Xu Yao looked at the young man's back as he walked further and further away, disappearing into the night.
Since then, Xu Yao never saw the young man again. His sister didn't seem any different. She worked as usual every day and endured hardships.
.....
In 1994, two things happened in this year, and each of them brought disaster to the small family.
The first thing was that due to the bursting of the real estate bubble, it caused an extremely terrifying economic crisis. Those who hadn't experienced that era couldn't imagine how terrifying that economic crisis was. It was a direct economic collapse, far worse than any other economic crisis that came after. In fact, there was a collapse as early as 1990. In 1994, the two crises overlapped and strengthened each other.
Bang!
The collapse of the bubble forced many people to their deaths.
Although this crisis was stabilized in a relatively short period of time, it caused a huge impact during this period.
The small county didn't suffer much from the aftermath, but the lives of the citizens did become tight.
As a result, Xu Ru couldn't earn money and her life became difficult.
The second thing was that Xu Ru was pregnant.
That day, Xu Yao was still in school, immersed in a sea of questions, preparing for the college entrance examination.
His sister asked someone to call the head teacher's office and said that she was sick and hospitalized.
Xu Yao rushed to the hospital and learned from the doctor that his sister was pregnant.
It was a bolt from the blue.
"Don't work too hard. Your body is important. Go home and rest well." The doctor complained to Xu Yao. "You're her husband, right? Why don't you care about her at all …"
The doctor didn't lie. His sister, who recovered from the shock, interrupted in embarrassment. "He's my brother."
Xu Yao developed early. While his peers were excited about the thicker hair in their pants, he already looked like an adult. At least, he didn't look like a high school student.
The doctor was also embarrassed and asked, "Then he's your husband."
There was silence.
The brother and sister were silent.
Back home, as if nothing had happened, his sister sat on the bed doing handicrafts while Xu Yao sat at the table writing papers.
"Clack!"
The ballpoint pen slammed on the table. The sound wasn't loud, but Xu Ru was shocked. Her hand trembled.
Xu Yao stood up with a gloomy face. He looked straight into his sister's eyes and asked, "Who is that man?"
Xu Ru didn't speak. Xu Yao didn't speak either. His eyes gradually turned red.
"Ah Rong, don't worry …"
"Is it that man? Is it that man?" Xu Yao said loudly.
His sister responded with silence.
All of a sudden, it was as if a barrel of explosives had been ignited.
"You've been lying in the hospital for so long. He didn't come. Did you not contact him or did he refuse to come?" Xu Yao grabbed his sister's hand and walked out of the door. "Go and call him. Call him now."
"I'm not going." His sister said.
Xu Yao was stunned and instantly exploded. He shouted, "You're shameless. We're poor, but we can't lose our dignity. No matter how poor we are, we have to know how to love ourselves. If a woman doesn't even love herself, then she has nothing. "
"What are you going to do now? Can you raise a child? When you were undoing your belt, did you think about what you're going to do in the future? Do you know that you're going to get married? Your life is ruined. "
In the dim room, the youth was hysterical. His face was red and his eyes were crazy.
That day, he said many, many things that went too far.
Every word was like a knife that stabbed into his sister's heart.
Xu Yao was mad. He hated, hated that man, and hated his sister for not loving herself.
His sister sat by the bed with her head lowered and tears streaming down her face.
She was a woman after all, a weak woman. Life made her strong. In some aspects, she was even more hardworking than men. But in front of her brother, she cried helplessly with her head lowered.
Many years later, whenever he thought of this scene, Xu Yao would tremble. His body and mind would ache from the inside out.
"I remember every word clearly. Every word is imprinted in my heart. I hate myself back then. I was too selfish. I never thought about her feelings. I never thought about how wronged she was, how helpless she was, how she longed for someone to help her. She was like a person who had sunk into a swamp, longing for someone to lend a helping hand. But I, her little brother, ruthlessly trampled her down. "Xu Yao cried bitterly.
He lost his father when he was two and his mother when he was four.
His sister raised him painstakingly. She was a teenage girl, but the calluses on her hands made her look like a man who had worked hard for years.
His sister worked hard to support him. His breakfast every day was porridge with three steamed buns. Why three steamed buns? That was for lunch. She had eaten steamed buns with salted vegetables for many years.
When he was young, she refused to give him away. When he grew up, she was single and unmarried. She gave all her time and hope to her brother.
But her brother did not understand her.
Qin Ze looked at this man in silence. At this moment, he stripped away all his outer layers. Success, seriousness, glory …
He squatted in front of his sister's grave like a broken child, crying like a fool.
Regret was regret because it was destined to be irreparable.
You cried your heart out. You hated yourself back then and wished that time could turn back to make up for your mistakes. But life would never give you a second chance.
So, you tried your best to acknowledge me as your nephew.
You wanted to make up for your mistakes. You wanted to appease the pain that was hidden in your heart day after day.
"And then?" Qin Ze asked in a hoarse voice.
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