"I'm sorry!" Lu Jinnan apologized. "I'm sorry … Xiaonian!"
Bai Xiaonian pretended not to hear him. As if she was telling a story, she said softly, "It was Motson who couldn't get in touch with me, so he came to my house to send me to the hospital and then back!"
Lu Jinnan didn't say a word.
"February 4th, Chinese New Year's Eve. You posted a photo on your WeChat moments. It was my show being broadcasted on the big screen. You said 'Happy Chinese New Year', and I saw Hong Jinyun's reflection in the restaurant's French windows …"
"February 14th, after you called Motson, who sent me flowers and chocolates, you didn't contact me for half a month! Not a single message … "
"March 11th, we agreed to talk …" Bai Xiaonian closed her eyes. Her voice was a little choked, and she couldn't hold back her tears. "When you arrived at my place, Hong Jinyun's mother called you and said that Hong Jinyun's drug addiction acted up and was hurting herself. You left in a panic! I fell down in the kitchen … I called you and asked you to come back, but you told me not to make a scene! "
Bai Xiaonian had been narrating these things in a calm tone, but when she got to this point, she choked up and couldn't continue.
Lu Jinnan reached out to hold Bai Xiaonian's fingers, which were colder than ice, and explained in a hoarse voice, "I'm very sorry, but Xiaonian … we're husband and wife. In my heart, I owe Hong Jinyun, so I …"
"I'm not done …" Bai Xiaonian opened her reddened eyes and turned to look at Lu Jinnan. The light from the street lamps on the windshield was blurred by the raindrops, turning into a bright yet dim color that landed in Bai Xiaonian's eyes.
She calmly pulled her hand out of Lu Jinnan's grasp and curled her pale lips. "So on March 11th, I lost my child …"
Bai Xiaonian remembered every day very clearly, especially the 11th of March. It was as if it had been carved into her heart.
Lu Jinnan was stunned, as if he had been struck by lightning.
The blurry scene in Lu Jinnan's mind that day suddenly became clear.
After February 14th, Lu Jinnan calmed down and called Bai Xiaonian. At first, Bai Xiaonian didn't pick up, but later, he went to her place to wait for her.
Later, he found out that Bai Xiaonian had moved to her apartment, so he spent some effort to find her.
Despite Lu Jinnan's persistent apologies, Bai Xiaonian showed no signs of softening up.
It wasn't until March 10th that Bai Xiaonian actually picked up his call. She hesitated for a moment before saying, "Come to my apartment tomorrow. We'll talk …"
Later, early the next morning, Lu Jinnan brought flowers to Bai Xiaonian's apartment. When he entered the apartment, he saw that Bai Xiaonian wasn't in a good state, so she asked Lu Jinnan to sit on her to boil water.
However, Bai Xiaonian had just entered the kitchen when Lu Jinnan received a call from Hong Jinyun's mother, saying that Hong Jinyun's drug addiction had flared up …
Bai Xiaonian came out of the kitchen. Her expression was even worse, but she didn't stop him. She only nodded. "Go ahead. We'll … talk about it later!"
Bai Xiaonian said the word "discuss" reluctantly, and Lu Jinnan interpreted it as her unwillingness.
He solemnly apologized to Bai Xiaonian and left her house.
Just as he stepped out of the neighborhood, he received a call from Bai Xiaonian. She said, "Lu Jinnan, I fell down in the kitchen and can't stand up in pain. Hurry … hurry back! I … "
"Xiaonian, Hong Jinyun's drug addiction acting up isn't a small matter. Stop fooling around! I'll be back very soon. I won't stay at her place for long, okay? "
Lu Jinnan had stopped Bai Xiaonian from speaking the other time. This time, he didn't hang up the call.
On the other end of the line, Bai Xiaonian was silent for nearly a minute. It was eerily quiet.
The call ended after Lu Jinnan softly called out, "Xiaonian." When he called back again, she was already on the line.
But Lu Jinnan really didn't know … that Bai Xiaonian was pregnant!
Now that he thought about it, the reason why Bai Xiaonian was willing to talk to Lu Jinnan was probably because … she was pregnant!
Bai Xiaonian smiled at Lu Jinnan, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. It was very cold …
After Lu Jinnan left, Bai Xiaonian went to the kitchen to boil water, but she was distracted. When she filled the kettle with water and placed it on the pedestal, she dropped the kettle. She was about to mop it clean when she slipped and fell, and the back of her waist slammed hard into the drawer that wasn't closed!
She looked ahead. "Back then, I sat on the ground and couldn't get up. I felt a little life flowing out of my abdomen. I even thought of hardening my heart … and letting it go just like that! But I still dialed the emergency number after hanging up on you. It took too long, and I couldn't keep it. Perhaps it's God's will. "
"Let's talk about what you said just now … we're husband and wife, and you owe Hong Jinyun in your heart. So, you put Hong Jinyun first in everything you do, right?" Although Bai Xiaonian was asking a question, she didn't give Lu Jinnan a chance to answer. "Then why should I be with you? The men around me … care more about others than me, don't you think so? "
Lu Jinnan was about to answer when he heard Bai Xiaonian continue, "Moreover, before the child is born … we'll just leave with the child!"
Actually, the reason Bai Xiaonian went to the Fu residence today wasn't to give Lu Jinnan a chance, but to give herself a chance.
To give herself a chance … to let go.
From the moment she got into Lu Jinnan's car to the moment Lu Jinnan connected the dots, he realized that every word she said was simply to reject being with him.
She had originally wanted to make things difficult for Lu Jinnan, to make him leave just like that. It was better than Bai Xiaonian exposing her scars … and hurting herself as well.
In the past, Bai Xiaonian had wanted Lu Jinnan to stay away from Hong Jinyun too much, wanting him to forget about her.
But now, Bai Xiaonian only wanted to never meet Lu Jinnan again.
She smiled wickedly. "Now that you know about the child, you probably feel guilty towards me, right? Now that you're with Hong Jinyun … will I be able to order you around with just a phone call?"
"Xiaonian!" Lu Jinnan gripped Bai Xiaonian's cold hand tightly. His throat hurt so much that he couldn't say a word.
"I lied to you, Lu Jinnan …" Bai Xiaonian couldn't retract her hand, so she simply let Lu Jinnan hold it like that. "There's no child. I only did it to make you sad. I only wanted you to put me in Hong Jinyun's shoes!"
Her hand hurt from Lu Jinnan's grip, but it wasn't as painful as the day she lost her child, nor was it as painful as the pain Bai Xiaonian was feeling right now …
Perhaps Lu Jinnan was the first man Bai Xiaonian loved so much that she didn't even want her life!
In America, Bai Xiaonian had gone to save Lu Jinnan with the determination to die!
Now, she couldn't bear to see Lu Jinnan so upset …
What kind of person was Lu Jinnan? Everyone in Haicheng knew that he was cold-blooded and heartless!
Bai Xiaonian didn't feel any vengeance for him to be choking up like this, unable to say a word. She only felt heartache.
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