"Winnie, why are you looking for me?"
I picked up my phone to talk to Xiong YaoYue while staring at Taobao's Wangwang chat window. I replied to the female customer who asked about the battery consumption of the massage stick:
"I suggest you use a rechargeable battery. Pinsheng's is pretty good. I'll be honest, I often use this type of battery …"
That's right, you guys guessed correctly. I used the customer service account 'Lilac' and pretended to be a female to answer questions. Even if it's fake, I can't let the customer think I'm a burly man, or else the female customer would be embarrassed!
But for the sake of my physical and mental health, I've decided to gradually transfer all the female customer services to him, even if I have to raise his salary!
Ah, how am I going to explain it to my dad? Not only did I hire a part-time employee for the store, he's also a fucking trap! My dad is going to be suspicious of my sexual orientation!
"Ye Lin, why are you so absent-minded?" Xiong YaoYue said with slight annoyance, "Are you masturbating?"
"… …"
"If you're masturbating, then I'll call back in 5 minutes — — 5 minutes should be enough, right?"
You only have 5 minutes! Your entire family only has 5 minutes! For a Spartan like me, it would take at least half an hour!
Coincidentally, the female customer asked again: "Can I stuff this model in my ass? I really love my wife, I don't want to hurt her … "
Damn, so it's a lace! If you really love your wife, then don't stuff this thing in her ass! This is a f * cking European model! Do you want your wife to have a rectal prolapse!
I quickly typed: "Don't use this on your ass, or else your wife will break up with you!"
At the same time, I couldn't help but mutter to myself: "My ass can't take it …"
I never expected Xiong YaoYue to hear my mutter.
"Ass?" Xiong YaoYue immediately became excited, "Sorry for the disrespect! I forgot you're gay, so you must be doing prostate massage instead of masturbating! Unless … you're using cucumbers? "
You're the one using cucumbers! Your entire family uses cucumbers! I was trying to stop a weak girl who was lost on the path of being a lesbian so her husband wouldn't penetrate her a * shole.
"Erm, Winnie, why are you looking for me?"
"It's nothing important, I just wanted to find you tomorrow to apologize to Miss Ai Mi."
"Apologize? Is it because you went to play a ranking match with a gaming team last week and missed your appointment? That's your own fault. Why should I apologize to you as well? "
"Just help me! Aren't you my good brother? "
Fortunately, Xiong YaoYue didn't use the word 'good sister', otherwise I might have hung up on her.
"Well, it's fine if I go with you, I should go anyway." I said, "But Ai Mi is actually very busy, are you sure she has time tomorrow?"
"I'm sure! Confirm! I just called! "Xiong YaoYue said excitedly." It's so much better to have you with me! It's my first time visiting a rich family, I'm a little nervous! "
It seems like Xiong YaoYue still thinks Ai Mi is an innocent young miss and doesn't know about her identity in the entertainment industry.
"By the way, what should I wear tomorrow? Isn't it impolite to wear shorts? Should I wear a long dress that looks like a formal dress? I think I had a set when I sang in elementary school … "
Do you think you can still wear a skirt from elementary school! Do you think you're the Hobbit! Also, during volleyball practice on Friday, you scratched your face while trying to save the ball and you had to put on three band-aids at once! If you add another three, you'll look like a cat with a long beard! Even if you're wearing the most ladylike clothing, the band-aids on your face will reveal your true colors!
I suddenly thought, don't tell me you're so ridiculous that you'll wear a wedding dress with a face full of band-aids on your wedding day! If that's the case, relatives and friends will definitely misunderstand the groom as domestic violence! You're already this bad before you even get married! You're basically the enemy of all women, you should be dragged out, chopped up and fed to the dogs!
"It's 34 degrees tomorrow." I reminded her, "You can wear whatever you usually wear tomorrow. Be casual, you should know that Ai Mi is my … relative's child. I'll treat her place as my home and you can treat it as a guest. "
"Huh? That's a good idea … "Xiong YaoYue suddenly became enlightened," Then if I don't eat breakfast tomorrow, will I be able to freeload some good food? "
Didn't you say you were nervous! Nervous my ass! Please relax, go to Ai Mi's place and eat whatever you want! As long as you don't criticize the French chef's cooking and cause him to commit suicide!
I thought about the chef who inherited the tradition of suicide from his predecessors in France and inherited the treasured sword from the Japanese fugu chef. I gave Xiong YaoYue a shot of warning:
"Eat whatever you want …"
"Huh? You're not going to prepare drinks for us? "Xiong YaoYue sounded disappointed.
"No, you can also drink whatever you want. Just one thing, don't say bad things about the French chef. It's best if you flatter him, otherwise it'll be a big problem!"
"French chef? Did Miss Ai Mi hire a French chef! I heard French food is really delicious! No wonder she's a rich missy, she's actually this rich! "
"Hey, did you hear what I said? You have to flatter the French chef's cooking!"
"Don't worry! As long as someone treats me to a free meal, as long as it doesn't taste like shit, I will definitely praise it and say it's delicious! Otherwise, they won't treat me next time! "
Okay! You make it sound like you've eaten shit before and know what it tastes like.
"Oh right, I heard Miss Ai Mi lives in Qing Zi Academy, why does she live in such a strange place? The security at the entrance definitely won't let me in! How about I go find you, then you can think of a way to bring me in! "
Seriously, Ai Mi clearly invited Xiong YaoYue to her place, but she didn't think of a way to let her in. It's almost the same as the first time I gave her the checkered practice book.
"No problem, come find me in the morning and I'll think of a way to bring you there — — but do you know my address?"
"Hehe, I didn't know at first. When I wanted to ask you, your phone was busy again. But I called the class leader and I got it!"
"What? Why did you call the class leader! "
"Why not? The class leader has seen the student register and she pretty much knows everyone's address! Why are you as paranoid as the class leader? "
"Is the class leader being paranoid?"
"That's right! I asked her if she knew your address, but she didn't want to tell me at first. She even asked me, 'Didn't you say that you'll cut ties with whoever breaks up Ye Lin and his true love?' "
"… …"
"The class leader really holds a grudge! If it wasn't for the fact that I wanted to keep it a secret, I would have told the class leader that you're gay and that you're a couple with the school hunk, Shen ShaoYi! "
Damn, don't say it like that! It took me a lot of effort to get back a good impression from the class leader! If the class leader believes you and finds out that her brother is wearing the underwear I gave her, she would suspect that my real target is her brother. I might have already pushed her brother down many times! Then … is there a need to ask? Of course, it's to pull the trigger on me with regret!
I'm being wronged! It's snowing in June! Before I breathe my last breath, I'm going to spit blood into the air! I'm going to spit blood all over Xiong YaoYue's face! You pig teammate! It reminds me of the story of the hunter and bear who wanted to help the hunter get rid of the fly, but the bear ended up killing the hunter!
"Hmph, because the class leader was petty, I retaliated and asked: What does it have to do with you if I go find Ye Lin! It's not like I'm going to date him! Since you're so sensitive, do you like Ye Lin? "
"Eh, then how did the class leader respond?" I was quite curious.
"Hahahaha … of course she denied it! The class leader is such a strict person, how could she violate school rules? Besides, it would be a tragedy if she really liked you! You're not interested in girls! "
Who isn't interested in girls! Don't randomly deprive me of a very important love! Even when I was a Spartan, I would still secretly read H manga to entertain myself.
"Anyway, the class leader still told me the address, but she wasn't willing to hang up after telling me, as if she was waiting for me to confess … I don't know why, but I felt a bit sorry for the class leader, so I told her I was going to visit your rich mixed-race cousin's house …"
"The class leader remembered your doll-like cousin and seemed to be moved. I asked her if she wanted to come, but she sighed and said she wasn't welcome. She wished us a good time and hung up."
Is she referring to not being welcomed by Ai Mi? The reason the class leader likes Ai Mi is the same as her liking kittens and puppies. The reason Ai Mi is afraid of the class leader is also the same reason kittens and puppies are afraid of the class leader. You guys have a very awkward relationship!
In addition, the class leader had already inhumanely petted Ai Mi's pet dog, Obama, with my help. Once she finds out the dog belongs to Ai Mi, she might be a bit surprised. Would she reach out her hands, pounce on him with a blushing face and call out, "Let me touch you"? Then Ai Mi and Obama would be chased around by the class leader.
I'll let it go this time, but if there's a chance in the future, I'll definitely make sure Ai Mi and the class leader have a good relationship! After all, she's my future sister-in-law!
I arranged a time to meet up with Xiong YaoYue tomorrow morning and hung up the phone.
I thought about it and didn't disturb Ai Mi's rest. Instead, I called Peng TouSi. In addition to the walkie-talkie, he also carried a military-style phone with him. But recently, his main purpose was to install an application called Jack'd (I pronounce it "Pick Up King") and try to hook up with the gays in the same city.
Damn, this is the male version of WeChat and Momo! I'll remember that blood red icon! Does it represent the aftermath of my anus? If I see it on someone's phone in the future, I'll have to cover my anus!
"Peng TouSi." I got straight to the point, "Can you come to my house tomorrow morning?"
"Sure!" Peng TouSi was overjoyed, "Lin, are you trying to comfort me after hearing that my one-night stand didn't go well?"
"Comfort my ass! I'm telling you to pick me and Winnie up! Ai Mi invited us over, but Winnie doesn't have a Qing Zi Academy uniform, so I'm afraid she won't be able to enter! "
Peng TouSi might be like an iron tower, but he was very meticulous. He actually remembered that Winnie was the nickname Ai Mi gave to Xiong YaoYue.
"No problem, I'll pick you guys up at 7, right? Please don't eat breakfast in advance, we'll be responsible for preparing it. "
You don't have to worry about that since Xiong YaoYue wasn't planning on eating breakfast anyway.
"Also, for convenience in the future, I'll also bring a Qing Zi Academy uniform for Miss Winnie. I've seen her once, so I should be able to remember her approximate size … "
So you have a photographic memory after seeing her once? You can probably even guess Xiong YaoYue's underwear size! That's the True Evil Eye! Don't tell me you know how to use Black Dragon Wave! Why are you such a f * cking awesome person?! The "pushovers" that find you through the "Guest Receiving Emperor" would immediately piss their pants in fear when they see your domineering aura. They probably don't even have the mood to shake their bodies!
I suddenly remembered the last time I wore the Qing Zi Academy uniform and fought with young master Xu. It was very hot. I'm afraid it wasn't just because of the amount of exercise.
"Peng TouSi, is Qing Zi Academy's uniform the same as our 28 Middle's? There's a summer style and an autumn style?"
"Not really." Peng TouSi replied, "Qing Zi Academy only has one uniform, but it has a removable inner lining. In really cold winters, there's even a wool lining that can be swapped out …"
So … that's how it is! I was wondering why I felt like there was something extra in the Qing Zi Academy uniform. It turns out I've been wearing a normal inner lining that's only used during the spring and autumn seasons. I'm an idiot! I almost got a rash from covering it last time!
After I finished discussing with Peng TouSi, I decisively took out the Qing Zi Academy uniform from my wardrobe and removed the inner lining that was fastened with an invisible zipper.
Damn, this is its complete form! Such good material, the ventilation is excellent when it blows under the air conditioner! The last few times I wore the uniform to see Ai Mi, I had to endure the heat. I thought it was the price I had to pay in order to see my sister, but it turns out it wasn't necessary! I could've had a chance to relax, but I've completely wasted it!
On Sunday morning, I didn't have to go to DongShan Lake to practice. I got up and did 100 push-ups. Then, I washed up and sat in the living room with my eyes closed. I meditated on the true meaning of Yin Yang Sanshou while waiting for Xiong YaoYue's arrival.
Not long after, I heard the sound of someone running up the stairs. It's probably because the running shoes had a good cushioning effect, so it wouldn't disturb the neighbors.
I didn't need to ask to know it was the energetic Xiong YaoYue.
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