His voice was not loud, but it was full of gloominess and pressure.
"Lu Zhanxing …" Gu Mang murmured, "Zhanxing …"
This overly intimate way of addressing him ignited the fire in Mo Xi's heart. His sword-like eyebrows were raised in anger. He gritted his teeth and said in a low voice, "Gu Mang, in your heart, he is indeed much more important than me."
Gu Mang searched his pitiful memories and said, "He is my brother."
Mo Xi felt a sudden stab of pain. "Yes. He is your brother. "
When he said this, his voice was very low, as if he was holding back his disgust and trying hard to admit a truth that made him feel nauseous. He breathed softly and raised his hand to support his forehead. He rubbed it and said in a low voice, "You are absolutely right. Lu Zhanxing is a good-for-nothing. That impulsive stupid pig, he is your brother. "
Gu Mang felt uncomfortable in the depths of his consciousness. He frowned and said, "You can't scold him. He is not a stupid pig, nor is he a good-for-nothing. "
Mo Xi did not say anything. He stopped rubbing his forehead, but his hand was still supporting his forehead, making it difficult to see the emotions on his face.
After a while, he said, "Your brain is damaged, but you still don't forget to protect him?"
He did not know why, although he did not speak loudly and did not have any twisted or angry expression, Gu Mang heard his voice and felt a chill run down his spine.
"Marshal Gu, you're really righteous and loyal. You're so affectionate."
Mo Xi let go of his hand and looked up. His eyes were dark and deep, flashing with light spots. He stared at Gu Mang for a long time without saying a word. There was an unfathomable and uncertain expression on his face.
He suddenly said, "Tell me about it. About your good brother, what do you remember about him? "
Mo Xi's gaze was too heavy. Gu Mang lowered his head and looked at his knees. He thought for a while and said, "I first saw a lot of people, and they were all blaming me."
"…"
"He blamed me for not doing what I promised and said that I forgot their names." Gu Mang was in a daze. "Then, I saw Zhan Xing."
Mo Xi's heart tightened, but his face remained calm. "What did he do to you?"
"He … he was smiling at me. He turned around and smiled at me. Then … then he turned around and left. I wanted to run after him, but I could not. He disappeared into the shadows, 'said Gu Mang.' Then I remembered that I once had such a brother. '
Mo Xi remained silent.
Gu Mang raised his head and asked hesitantly, "Did I have an army like you in the past?"
"… Yes."
"That Zhan Xing, is he also from the army …"
Mo Xi said expressionlessly, "Yes. He is your vice marshal. "
Gu Mang's eyes flashed with desire. "Where is he? Is he also Chong Hua? "
Mo Xi turned his face to look at the window. There were magpie birds chirping outside the window. The sky was mottled and broken through the window lattice. He said, "You will never see him again. Don't think about him. "
Gu Mang was stunned. "Why?"
Mo Xi's expression was cold and harsh. He said lightly, "He is dead."
After a moment of silence, Gu Mang asked blankly, "What?"
"He is dead. He was beheaded and executed in East City. His body was hung for three days. "
Gu Mang did not know what kind of hatred made this man, who had always been upright, so vicious. Venom bubbled up from the bottom of his heart and lingered between his lips and teeth.
Mo Xi did not look at Gu Mang's face. He continued to look at the window and the scattered light spots under the window. He said, "I'm sorry, but this person has long disappeared from the world. You're thinking in vain. You're wasting your feelings and brain. "
Gu Mang's eyes widened.
He now knew a lot of words, so he understood all of Mo Xi's words.
But at this moment, he suddenly wished that he was still the person in Luo Mei Villa who could only understand the simplest sentences. He did not want to understand Mo Xi's meaning at all.
Gu Mang's lips moved. He wanted to say something, but his heart was torn apart.
He was not too shocked. It seemed that he knew subconsciously that Lu Zhanxing was dead. It seemed that he had experienced this kind of separation and pain many, many years ago.
But he did not expect that this old wound would be dug out by Mo Xi and mercilessly torn apart. He suddenly lowered his head. His vision was a little blurry.
Mo Xi suddenly turned his face. He gritted his teeth and said, "Why are you crying?"
"I … don't know …"
"It's been so long. Why are you still sad for him?" Mo Xi's chest was bleeding. He was still suppressing himself, but his eyes were bloodshot. "Gu Mang, you're f * cking crazy."
Gu Mang just held his head and murmured, "You don't understand. You don't understand … "
"What don't I understand?!" Gu Mang's instinctive protection made Mo Xi's heart stop. He suddenly became angry. He swept the bowls and cups on the bed. The broken porcelain smashed all over the floor.
Mo Xi suddenly got up. He grabbed Gu Mang's hair and forced him to raise his head and look at him.
"Do you know what kind of person Lu Zhanxing is?" He almost gnashed his teeth. "Do you know what kind of trash he is?!"
"…"
"Yes, he's your brother." Mo Xi's gaze almost reached down and dug out Gu Mang's heart and lungs. He wanted to crush it in his hands so that he wouldn't be sad for others.
He was so angry, so thirsty, and so at a loss.
So much so that his hands were trembling. Mo Xi said angrily in a low voice, "But it was your good brother who impulsively killed the envoys on the battlefield. It was him who caused the disaster and ignited the anger of the other two neutral countries. It was him who led the disaster to Chong Hua. Many innocent people died because of him!!"
"You can't remember all these, right? Fine! Let me remind you! Let me tell you!! "
"Yours! Mine!! Our comrades were besieged because of his anger! Chong Hua's millions of people were destroyed because of his anger!! Your brother!! It's all because you spoiled him! You protected him!!! "
Mo Xi's anger, which had been suppressed for so many years, was ignited overnight. The anger almost burned through Gu Mang.
"What brother … for a moment of pleasure, he disregarded your orders and killed the envoys who came to negotiate. Is this a brother?!! He pushed you into the fire pit and caused you to be trapped internally and externally. Is this a brother?!! Your long-cherished wish in life is to be a slave and to be able to make a name for yourself. You've worked so hard for so long, through wind and rain, hovering between life and death. He ruined all your efforts on impulse. What kind of brother is this?!! "
As Mo Xi spoke, the veins on his hands bulged. His face was filled with blood and the blood vessels on his neck were throbbing.
He stared at Gu Mang's eyes, pouring all of his hatred and unwillingness onto him. Gu Mang shouted angrily, "Gu Mang, you'd better remember this clearly. If it weren't for that bastard, nothing would have happened back then! The nobles wouldn't have had any evidence against you and the ruler wouldn't have had the chance to take away your power! So many innocent cultivators … common people … wouldn't have died!! You wouldn't have … you wouldn't have … "
He gasped and couldn't continue speaking.
He slowly loosened his grip on Gu Mang's hand. His eyes were filled with hatred and endless tears. He turned his face away and quickly wiped away the tears in his eyes.
The bitterness in his throat blocked the rest of his sentence.
These years, it was too hard to endure. It was too hard to endure … it was really too hard.
If there was no Lu Zhanxing.
You wouldn't have been forced into a corner.
You wouldn't have surrendered to the enemy of Liao Country and sacrificed yourself to the Devil Path.
We wouldn't have … we wouldn't have come to this point.
"That's it … you still can't forget him. You still treat him as a brother. "Mo Xi's face was covered with a thin layer of sarcasm, suppressing all his sadness. He murmured, "You still won't let me scold him."
"Okay, I know." Mo Xi lowered his eyelids and sneered softly, "In the past, now, and in the future, no matter when, no matter what he does wrong or right, no matter if he's alive or dead, I'll … I'll …"
I can't compare to him.
His lips trembled and suddenly pursed. He was speechless. He was so arrogant and had already dug out his heart and lungs to give everything, but he was still dumped. He still became a pawn in Gu Mang's life. How could he summon up the courage to tell Gu Mang his complete feelings?
Mo Xi tried his best to suppress his trembling emotions. He was afraid that if he continued speaking, he would lose control. His Adam's apple moved. After a while, he slowly and hoarsely spat out a sentence, almost like a sigh, "Gu Mang. He's your brother, then what about me … "
Then what about me?
What am I in your heart?
You once abandoned me for your brother.
For your ideals, you abandoned me.
For your comrade, you pushed me to the depths of hell.
It's been seven years.
I've been wandering in this hell for seven years. Did you ever think of me when you risked everything for them?
Do you want me to fight with the people I once loved the most, or do you want me to go far away with you and leave behind the Chong Hua that the Mo family has been guarding for generations?
When you left in anger because of them, did you ever think about what I should do?!
Just because I care about you and cherish you, you didn't hesitate to hurt me again and again and put me at the bottom of your consideration.
Is that so?
Gu Mang looked at the man who was trying his best to support himself, but his expression was almost broken. He didn't know what to feel.
He just felt very sad.
He was very sad when he heard that Lu Zhanxing had died. He was very sad when he heard the soldiers in his dream call him Marshal Gu. But looking at Mo Xi's current appearance, there was a different kind of pain in his heart.
This kind of pain made him raise his hand uncontrollably. He hesitated, but in the end, he still trembled and held Mo Xi's face, "No. You're my … "
My what?
The answer seemed to be on his lips, but he couldn't say it.
It was as if the intimate memory of yesterday was in his heart, but he couldn't dig it out.
Mo Xi turned his face, as if waiting for Gu Mang to finish this sentence. But after a long time of looking at each other, Gu Mang's throat was still blocked, and he didn't say anything.
In this kind of silence and waiting, Mo Que's eyes slowly turned red with tears.
He pushed Gu Mang's hand away and said, "You don't have to think so hard anymore. I'll say it for you. "
"I'm nothing to you. We used to have nothing. You were just acting, and I was stupid and young." He spat out word by word, staring at Gu Mang's face with red eyes. His tone and expression were so fierce, but every word pierced his own heart.
"Lu Zhanxing is your brother, I'm not."
"It's your dream to make a name for yourself, I'm not."
"Thousands of comrades are the blood of your heart, your obsession, the past that you can never abandon and can't let go, I'm not."
Gu Mang shook his head slightly. He looked at this extremely powerful but extremely lonely man, and the pain in his heart became deeper and clearer.
"What you said is wrong … It's not like this …"
Mo Xi suddenly grabbed his wrist, his eyes trembling, and stared at his face. "Then what else can it be?" He pulled Gu Mang's hand over with great strength.
He forced Gu Mang's hand to the left side of his chest, near the place where his heart was beating.
"Do you know? I have a scar here. You left it for me. "
Gu Mang widened his eyes slightly.
Mo Xi chuckled almost masochistically. "Gu Mang, I've always wanted to ask you, if the person who stopped you back then wasn't me, but Lu Zhanxing, would you still be able to stab him?"
"Did I … hurt you?"
Mo Xi leaned his face close to his ear and whispered, "You almost took my life."
Just because I loved you without fear of death back then.
Gu Mang felt like he was scalded, he wanted to pull his hand back, but Mo Xi pressed it so hard that he couldn't move it away. He could only feel the beating of his heart under his palm.
How could he want to kill him …
In his memories, he clearly saw how intimate they were. How could he be just putting on a show? Although there were many things that he couldn't remember, he could still recall the joy and warmth of that night. How could it be fake?
"You're very confused, aren't you?" Mo Xi leaned close to his ear, his breath hot and moist. "Actually, I don't understand either. Seven years ago, you pushed me into hell. I thought about it for seven whole years, until today, I still don't understand how you could be so cruel. "
His voice was so low, but the hatred in his gritted teeth was so high. "I don't understand you, Gu Mang. You're trampling on me because you think I'll forgive you again and again without a bottom line. Or because … "
He paused, his throat moving. "Actually, I'm not in your heart at all."
So you can trample on my heart like mud under your feet. It doesn't matter that I'm attacked from both sides, I'm in a dilemma, and I can't repay you.
Gu Mang was forced into a corner by these bloody questions. He felt that his poor brain was about to be ground down. He only had a scoop of memories, but Mo Xi wanted to scoop out a sea of feelings from him.
"I don't know …" he murmured. "I really … really don't know …"
"You know, the answer is buried in your heart." Mo Xi said in a low voice. "I'll keep you until the day you remember. I'll make you kneel in front of me and give me an answer, an apology. "
After he finished speaking, Xiu Chang's cold and white hand loosened his grip on Gu Mang's hair. He then patted Gu Mang's back threateningly.
"My patience is actually not much better than that of a Murong Lian."
"…"
"So." He slowly pulled away from Gu Mang. Eternal Night stared at Gu Mang's face and tapped Gu Mang's forehead with his fingertips. He said in a low voice, "Senior, don't make me wait for you for too long."
The author has something to say:
"The Tragedy Competition"
Gu Mang: Hello everyone, my name is Gu Mang. I'm a man who goes to jail the moment I appear.
Murong Lian: Hello everyone, my name is Murong Lian. I'm a man who goes to jail the moment I appear.
Princess Qian Qian: Hello everyone, my name is Mo Xi. I'm a man whose wife runs away the moment I appear.
Jiang Yexue: Hello everyone, my name is Jiang Yexue. I'm a man whose wife dies the moment I appear.
Lu Zhanxing: Hello everyone, my name is Lu Zhanxing. I'm a man who dies before I appear.
Everyone: … Brother Lu, you're still the most pitiful. Brother Lu is in the bag. Brother Lu wins. Brother Lu wins.
Lu Zhanxing: But winning the competition doesn't make me feel happy at all …
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