Legend has it that every transcender who breaks through the boundaries of time and space will receive a gift from the world … Yep, it's commonly known as the essential cheat of any transcender.
The Evil Lich System … That's my cheating cheat.
In the past, it didn't go by this name. It had a good name like the Radiant Knight King Training System. But unfortunately, after I abandoned my identity as a Holy Knight and started learning dark magic, it changed to this name.
In the past, the daily quests it gave me were to help old ladies on the streets, to help little girls find their lost kittens, and so on. It wasn't as ridiculous as it was now.
"Look at today's daily quests … It's this ridiculous choice of two again. Destroy any town with a population of 30,000 or more and you'll be rewarded with 10,000 Evil Points. Snatch three children's lollipops and you'll be rewarded with 1 Evil Point. If you don't complete both, then 2 Evil Points will be deducted. "
"Pui! Do you think I'm an idiot? If I really destroy a town, I guarantee that an entire Epic Holy Knight team will spawn to hunt me down. At that time, I'll be able to earn a lot, but I won't have any money to spend. "
I casually took a lollipop from a passing tauren loli and watched as the crying little girl was dragged away by her mother. Just as I put the lollipop into my mouth, I heard the crisp sound of the lollipop hitting against a bone. Only then did I remember that I no longer had any sense of taste.
"Sigh, when can I enjoy the taste of delicious food again? Although magic can fill me up, it's really not delicious."
Even though the little girl's mother was dragging the naughty child away, the little girl seemed unwilling to give up. She stared at me with her big, watery eyes, as though she had discovered that I couldn't eat any food and was hoping for something.
Did she think that the passing lich uncle was just playing a prank? He would immediately return the lollipop to her.
Alright, in order to not let her down, I chewed on the lollipop and spat it out piece by piece onto the ground.
"Wuwuwu!! Mom. Strange uncle stole my lollipop. "
"Don't look, hurry up and leave."
Thus, as expected, I received a melodious cry. At that moment, my mood became much better, because I thought of a certain naughty child who was out of control.
"Do undead not have human rights? Ancient magic scrolls were used as drawing paper, dragon blood ink was used as paint, alchemy potions that I painstakingly created became soda, and even my ribs were secretly taken off to be used as jigsaw puzzles. I only slept for two hours and the laboratory was turned into ruins. The naughty child's destructive power is too terrifying … "
"Sigh, when can I take revenge?" Whenever I thought about those unruly and unruly children, especially a certain older child who had yet to be tamed, I would gnash my teeth in hatred.
Suddenly, I heard a system notification.
"Ding! Congratulations to the host for making the 100th loli/shota cry. The reward is 10 Evil Points. Lollipops that you that you is that Evil of is! Not included in the statistics. Expired fake lolis are evil! "
"Rank," God, I that that that of "Won, as, that if I made 100, I won, won, that I won that I won that that the system.
"God, that you, that as Transcendent, Evil, Has as that said. said, that. that as, Evil, as, Has that," God, ",
Thus, my eyes lit up as I looked at the little girls and shotas on the street …
"Hmph, even if I don't have a Transcendent, it is my duty as a good person to teach naughty children some manners, so that everyone can avoid the same misfortune."
"How should I play it? Right, Animate Creation, turn the naughty children's toys into disgusting monsters that run around. Magic Paint, turn Xiong Haizi's lollipops into a malignant yellow dung color! "
As a victim of the naughty children, whenever I thought about how I could take revenge for my destroyed magic scrolls and precious books, bad ideas started popping up one after another.
"No, no, that's not good enough. Turn the pillow covers into man-eating monsters, so that naughty children will be afraid of pillows. Right, there's also Avalon's Black Tentacles, so that you can enjoy an itchy hell. "
"Right, aren't naughty children afraid of ghosts? Hehe, it's time to rebuild the undead army. Awaken, my Undead Calamity!! "
That day, I finally found out that there were less than 200 naughty children on this street …
Leading a few thousand Skeletons, Abominations and Zombies on a parade was really a waste …
That day, before the Town Security received a report and arrived at the scene, I was pinned down by a Dark Elf squad. I had already walked through the entire street and only managed to make 160 of them cry …
When the Town Security found out that the reason why I summoned the undead army was to take revenge on the naughty children, the looks of disdain on the faces of the Town Security became a new black history for me.
"Congratulations to the host for being looked down upon by a hundred females at once. You have obtained the special achievement 'Is there something wrong with this child's head?' and the title 'Mentally Retarded Child'. After equipping it, there is a certain chance to gain the sympathy of females, but the favorability of females towards the user of the equipping will be reduced by 100."
… Anyway, I was already used to being scammed by the System and my reputation was already at its lowest point. With my system-acknowledged -88 Charm as proof, it wouldn't matter even if my favorability with the opposite sex dropped by another 100 points … Anyway, the result would be the same, I wouldn't be able to find a girlfriend.
Why was it that even though it was a logical analysis, when I said those words, I felt as though my eyes were filled with tears of blood … Alright, I was a great Mage who had been single for 300 years. But at this moment, at the very least, I had completed my revenge on my nemesis, the naughty children!
Recalling those wailing naughty children, I smiled gleefully. I had already thought of what to write in today's diary.
AD1896, Summer of the Dragon, 6th of March. This event was destined to be forever engraved in the memories of the naughty children of Sulfur Mountain City. It was known in history as the 'Lollipop Hunter Incident' and the 'Pillow Monster Cannibalism Incident'.
"On that day, the children recalled the terror of being dominated by that fellow … The humiliation of having their beloved things snatched away, the despair of being swallowed by their own toys, the fear of being surrounded by the undead …"
Just as my imagination was running wild, the sound of the System notification came again.
* Ding! * You have achieved the achievement of making a hundred naughty children cry in a day! You have been awarded 10 Evil Points. Congratulations to the host for obtaining the honorary title 'Nemesis of Naughty Children'. After equipping this title, you will feel a natural threat towards lolis and shotas below the age of 12. Gentle reminder, if you make five hundred naughty children cry in one go, you will be awarded the honorary title 'Naughty Child Killer'. If you make a thousand cry in one go …
At this moment, the System notification actually paused for a moment. I couldn't help but feel a little expectant. Although it was a spoof title, if it could make the naughty children stay away from me, it would be a pleasant surprise.
"… If you make a thousand of them cry in one go, you will be awarded the honorary title 'You're already so old, yet you still care about children. Can you be any more bored?' Host, thank me. Actually, this is the most suitable title for you right now. "
"F * ck, I really can't take this anymore. Damned System, isn't this all your fault!! I'm going to fight it out with you!! "
… …
"Master, this time you went to jail for stealing lollipops … Next time, will you go to jail for stealing girls' underwear? When that time comes, I really don't want to come and pick up perverts anymore. "
The one who spoke was my most loyal lackey, the half-demon head maid of my mansion, the silver-haired Eliza.
Black-gold-framed spectacles, silver twin ponytails, small canine teeth and a small tail tied with a purple bow. The baroque style maid attire brought out the mischievous personality of the little demon to the fullest and also exposed the viciousness of a Lich …
All along, I was very satisfied with Eliza's appearance. If she could get rid of her cold and venomous personality, that would be even better.
"It's not like you don't know about that darned System of mine. I just made a few little girls cry and you give me points. This is what a good person should do."
"Here!"
She passed a thick photo album to me.
"This is … Oh, well done, Eliza! As expected of my most loyal lackey! "
"I can roughly guess what happened. This is the contact book of the largest kindergarten in Sulfur Mountain City. I have carefully selected a list of names on it. It should be able to help Master in completing your mission. "
"Well done! I thought that you were hoping for me to die earlier so that you could regain your freedom. It was all my misunderstanding. Great, you are a good person too. "
"Let me see!" I flipped open the contact book, but my face turned uglier and uglier.
"The contact information of the three children of the Archbishop of Sulfur Mountain City, the youngest daughter of Dragon Hunter Amro who has just entered kindergarten, the precious son of War God Xin Xiu … Are you sure you are helping me and not sending me back to the Gui Ming residence!"
My angry glare was ignored by the other party as usual. The half-demon girl pushed up the frame of her spectacles and a cold light flashed on the lenses.
"The reputation of the Lollipop Hunter has spread throughout the entire Sulfur Mountain City. Even when I leave the mansion, I will be pointed at. For the sake of my reputation as a lady, I do want to change my job. Perhaps, Master, you should also pay me the salary that I have owed you for ten years. "
"Ha, ha. Mentioning money hurts feelings. Let's go, I can't wait to return to our warm home. "
"Running away isn't what a gentleman should do. Also, please don't change the topic … Why did you pull me along and run? What did you do?"
"As expected of the little Eliza who has followed me for so long. Today's daily mission is a magnificent explosion, you know …"
"I understand. Please hold on tight, I will change the direction of my magic and run!"
The silver door opened, and the master and servant hurriedly entered. After the short-range teleportation magic dissipated, there was no one in the room. In the background, there was a huge explosion, followed by the sound of the fire alarm.
"Delayed Flame Explosion Bomb? Aren't the prisoners arrested by the Town Security magic sealed? "
"No, it just looks like it. Flour mixed with chili powder and a little dust, it becomes a dust bomb. The power isn't great and it won't kill anyone, but there will definitely be no evidence."
"As expected of an 'intelligent' Lich. The prisoner is wearing a magic sealing ring and is unable to use magic, but you still use the canteen materials to make a handmade bomb."
"Thank you, I will feel embarrassed if you praise me like that."
"No one is praising you … Alright, at least as a Lich, this should be a compliment."
What is a Lich?
"Not a good person, but the most terrifying demon." This was probably the first thought that all living beings in Violet heard of this term.
"That skeleton gives me goosebumps. Those will-o '-the-wisp eyes are so scary. I always feel like he is doing something bad." This was the opinion of the ordinary people.
"The ultimate existence of evil, a schemer and a villain!" This was the opinion of the Church's Holy Knight.
As the final home of the Undead and Dark Mages, the Liches who were only skeletons usually had a bad reputation, but …
"Slander, it's all prejudice! How can you judge an individual based on their race! I have always thought that discrimination and prejudice based on race, skin color, birth, etc. is a sign of human stupidity. There are only lowly discrimination and prejudice in the world, there is no lowly race, skin color, birth. I am really a good person. "
"If you are considered a good person, then are those bloodthirsty Undead in the east of the city saints?"
"We can't be called saints, everyone is a pacifist with a cold face but a warm heart. Look, the Undead are so frugal and don't take up space. A graveyard can accommodate an entire family. They don't eat or drink, they work passionately, they only contribute and don't ask for anything. Everyone is a good person. "
The half-demon maid was amused. Legend has it that as long as a living being entered whole, they would be able to come out in pieces. In the eyes of her master, it was a good place.
"Hehe, Master, you really know how to joke. Bloodthirsty Undead are good people? Then what about those Holy Church Priests who are highly praised by the citizens? They give free treatment to the citizens. Every Sunday, they give out free Holy Communion to help the poor. "
"A bunch of hypocrites and paedophiles. Eliza, look, everyone has desires and needs. If they suppress it too much, even if they aren't a pervert, they will still become a pervert. They keep saying that desire is a sin, but in private, they are definitely perverts. Look at those old men being so kind to little boys, it would be weird if there wasn't a problem. And those single-celled Holy Knight, they are all a bunch of barbarians who want to kill me the moment they see me! "
"Alright, I think Master's illness is acting up again. The Calamity of Veron in the Sulfur Mountain Range, the ancient Red Dragon that destroyed an empire all by itself, is probably just a docile little cutie in Master's eyes. "
"No, no, Little Red hasn't been paying attention to her diet recently, she is a little too fat. If she were to lose another 20 to 30 tons of weight, lose her stomach and show off her curves, she would be even cuter. "
"What happened to our famous Sulfur Mountain City Dark Elf Town Security Squad that protects the peace and is good at helping others? You should be very familiar with them, I have already gone to fetch you five times in these two months. "
"… You can go and ask the unlucky stall owners who were suppressed by them, my opinion is basically the same as theirs. Pui, a bunch of crazy bitches. Our Gentlemen's Freedom Alliance is their natural enemy. "
Shaking her head helplessly, intentionally ignoring the suspicious organization that her Master mentioned, Eliza continued to ask.
"… Our heroic city lord who once saved the world and whose fame has spread far and wide? He raised the banner of equality for all races and forcefully built Sulfur Mountain City in the chaotic underground world, allowing the chaotic underground world to have a pure land. "
"Chuunibyou, a severe chuunibyou patient who has been suffering from chuunibyou for hundreds of years. What era is it now, still playing the old story of a hero fighting the demon king to save the world, serves him right to be single for the rest of his life. "
"… You really dare to say it, both of his weddings were messed up by you, and now people are saying that he is destined to be lonely. His birth is the bane of his parents, he is the bane of his brothers, and his marriage is the bane of his wife. Despite his good qualities and good looks, no girl in Sulfur Mountain City dares to accept his proposal. "
"… I didn't do it on purpose, is there a need to hold a grudge for so long …"
"You didn't do it on purpose? You did it on purpose, didn't you? Let's not talk about the fact that you were the one who told me to spread the rumor of the cursed lone star. Do you know how many girls were scared to tears when you played Undead Calamity and Ghost Parade at someone else's wedding? "
"Aren't I just adding excitement to his wedding? Seeing that the old bachelor finally got married, everyone was too happy and started a Ghost Parade. Who knew that the bride would be so frightened that she actually peed on the spot. "
Although I said that I didn't do it on purpose, I was secretly very pleased. "Hmph, I haven't even revived and obtained a physical body, so how can I let you enjoy a comfortable sex life?"
"Master, every time you are pleased, you would cross your arms and stomp your feet. Now, your evil intentions are overflowing. Alright, let's not talk about your 'great achievements' anymore. What about your lich brethren in the Undead City of Xiluo? Those fellows are on the wanted list in every country, and if any one of them gets out, the world will descend into chaos. "
"… Actually, everyone has some misunderstandings about us. Life and death are one and the same. Isn't the reason why we study the mysteries of life so that the people of the world can live better? Actually, we are quite skilled at healing. In terms of curative effects and side effects, we are much better than priests' Holy Light. Their Holy Light may seem convenient, but it actually drains a person's lifespan. Our life modification technology is non-toxic, harmless, and pollution-free. It solves the root of the problem once and for all. "
"… Then why do you still hope for the System to revive you? Why don't you just create a body for yourself?"
"I don't want to become a three-armed, six-legged deformed monster. Even if I have a perfect human form, there will be problems sooner or later …"
Seeing that even the lich himself was worried about his life modification technology, what else could Eliza say?
"Fine, fine. Let me show you what I am in your eyes."
"… The cold-faced and venomous Ghost Granny? The flat-chested Maiden A? "Of course, I wouldn't be so foolish as to say it out loud.
"Oh, Eliza, of course you are my most trusted subordinate. We once set the grand dream of conquering the sea of stars together. "
"Before you realize your dream of conquering the stars, shouldn't you remember to pay the pitiful orphan girl's wages for more than ten years?"
Knowing that her master was acting up again, the silver-haired half-demon pushed up her glasses and a cold glint flashed across her eyes. Her ice-cold words were squeezed out from the gaps of her teeth.
"If you continue to be so frivolous, are you intending to use your collection …"
"Alright, Eliza, I apologize." Thinking about her treasures, a certain lich immediately admitted defeat.
"Hmph." The fallen angel who succeeded in subduing her master hummed a tune as she walked out the door.
As the butler of this apartment, she didn't have the time to waste on her chuunibyou master.
But judging from her tail that was drooping downwards, she didn't seem to be in a good mood.
Only after she walked out of the door did I recall some of my past memories. Thus, I muttered to myself softly.
"… Perhaps, barely. You could be considered family. I still remember that little girl who was unwilling to die in the despairing River Styx ruins. She hunted alone in the despairing snowy night in order to survive. Picking you up was the luckiest thing in this world, the only right thing I did in my life. "
Suddenly, a beautiful face peeked out from behind the door.
Her usually ice-cold face was burning red and the redness extended all the way to her trembling long ears.
Then, with a swoosh, she disappeared behind the door once more.
"Hehe, you understand me, but do you think I don't understand you? Stupid evil granny, even if you are sly, you still have to obediently owe me a debt of gratitude and work hard for me until your death. "
I spoke harshly with a trembling voice and laughed maniacally. Even so, I was a little flustered in my heart.
"… I was heard! I was definitely heard!!! "
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