On Weibo …
Many people from the crosstalk world were still scolding Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai, especially a few veteran artists from the crosstalk world and Tang Dazhang's crosstalk club.
An old crosstalk actor said, "The crosstalk world will never acknowledge him!"
Those who liked Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai's crosstalk also started scolding them.
Suddenly, someone called out.
"Ah, recording!"
"What recording?"
"What happened?"
"Someone sent a recording! Beijing Television's Spring Festival Gala rehearsals! "
"It's true! Holy sh * t, it's Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao's crosstalk! "
"Aiyo, which hero sent it?"
"That's awesome! I'll go listen to it first! "
"Give me a link! Where is it? "
"Hahaha, I saw it too. I'm listening!"
…
However, the people at the rehearsal site did not know about it.
The crosstalk continued.
Zhang Ye said calmly, "That's why I said that his crosstalk can cure all kinds of illnesses, especially when it comes to prostate cancer patients."
Yao Jiancai: "Hi."
Zhang Ye: "But those friends who want to go and listen to the live show, please be careful. Whenever Teacher Tang's crosstalk performances are held, there will be a sign at the entrance with a line of red words: Non-members of the Swimming Association, please enter with caution."
Yao Jiancai chuckled, "I just realized that to listen to crosstalk, you have to learn how to swim first!"
Zhang Ye nodded seriously and said, "Right, the threshold for this industry is very high. Listening to crosstalk also has a threshold. This is a very dangerous art." Some of the joke segments were recalled by Zhang Ye using the Memory Search Capsule. Some of the joke segments were made up and changed on the spot.
The audience cramped up with laughter!
"Hahahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai shook his head and said, "Your mouth is too wicked."
Zhang Ye said, "But she's also very famous."
Yao Jiancai sighed and said, "How can he be famous with this level of skill?"
Zhang Ye: "Yes, there was a prostate cancer patient who recovered from listening to crosstalk. That lady sent a silk banner to Teacher Tang."
Yao Jiancai: "Sis? How can a woman be so sick! "
"You didn't?"
Yao Jiancai: "Women don't have this illness."
Zhang Ye: "Anyway, I gave Teacher Tang a silk banner."
Yao Jiancai: "What silk banner?"
Zhang Ye: "There are four big words written on it — Lust with Miraculous Hands!"
The audience was rolling on the floor with laughter!
Yao Jiancai hurriedly stopped him. "That's Miracle Hands Benevolence!"
Zhang Ye gave a long "oh", "Then I might have remembered wrongly. Sorry, my knowledge is limited. Anyway, I'm just envious of others."
Yao Jiancai: "Yeah?"
Zhang Ye: "Crosstalk is really profitable."
Yao Jiancai: "Really?"
Zhang Ye said with yearning, "Besides, this industry is also good. It's especially united!"
Unity of the crosstalk world?
When the people heard this, they all started to make a ruckus!
"Yi!"
"Yi!"
"Yi!"
Although it was just a rehearsal, the staff at the venue, as well as the review team and the Spring Festival Gala production team, were very respectful. They were very excited to hear it, so the words naturally came out of their mouths. Then, they all laughed out loud!
…
The outside world.
Tang Dazhang's house.
Tang Dazhang had been rehearsing for the past few days, so he was very busy. There were many people coming in and out of the house every day. They were all making the final push for the Spring Festival Gala.
At this moment, a colleague from the crosstalk world called.
"Old Tang!"
"Hehe, Old Sun."
"Go online!"
"I'm rehearsing with my disciple, what's wrong?"
"Zhang Ye's crosstalk performance at Beijing TV's Spring Festival Gala has been exposed!"
"Ah?"
"That bastard is scolding people again!"
"What??"
After Tang Dazhang hung up, his disciple and some of his peers also heard it. All of their expressions turned dark as they went online to find out what Zhang Ye would say at Beijing TV's Spring Festival Gala. Scolding people? He still dared to scold people during a live broadcast like the Spring Festival Gala?
How could that be possible!
Elsewhere.
A few of the crosstalk world's veterans' homes were also ringing.
"M-Master Xu, Zhang Ye has stirred up trouble!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"Quickly go online and have a look!"
…
At the venue.
Yao Jiancai laughed. "Heh."
"This industry is also kind-hearted. They go out every day to do good deeds!"
Yao Jiancai: "What good things?"
Zhang Ye raised his hand. "For example, two years ago, during the earthquake, the crosstalk world went to donate money. A few veteran crosstalk artists brought their disciples and grand-disciples to the Red Cross Society in a sparse group of more than a hundred people. The leader of the old crosstalk artists said, 'Although we earn money quickly and easily by doing crosstalk, our conditions are still limited. We can't compare to those big bosses who are worth billions.'"
Yao Jiancai nodded. "That's true."
"Even if we were asked to donate 350 million, we wouldn't be able to fork out that much."
Yao Jiancai waved it off. "There's no need to donate that much. It's enough as long as the thought is there."
"Right, three to five yuan is just a thought. It can't be compared to the others."
Yao Jiancai nodded. "That's right, there's no need to compare either."
"Here, take it. These are my three yuan. Then, an old crosstalk artist followed up and said, 'Me too, these are my three yuan.' Everyone fought to be first."
Yao Jiancai was dumbfounded. "They really donated three yuan?"
It was the crosstalk world again!
They were scolding the crosstalk world again!
Quite a few people in the audience perked up, especially Xiao Lu, Dafei, Hou Ge, and the others who were the most excited and laughing the loudest!
Zhang Ye made a grabbing motion with his hand. "After donating, this group of people each took a dozen or so candles and lit them up. They held them in their hands and clenched their fists at whoever came over and shouted 'stay strong'."
Yao Jiancai said, "Whoa, donating three yuan to light a dozen or so candles? And how did each person take a dozen or so? "
Zhang Ye looked at him strangely. "Didn't they light all of them? They only lit one and stuffed the remaining ten candles into their pockets to take away."
Yao Jiancai said, "Ah? They even took them? Then they'll be making money this time! "
Laughter came one after another!
At this moment, a staff member ran over to Executive Director Chang Xiaoliang to inform him of the arrangements for the main stage.
"Director Chang, over there …"
Before he could finish, Chang Xiaoliang interrupted him. Without even looking at him, he raised his hand and said, "If there's anything, we'll talk about it later. Finish watching this!" He stared at the stage without blinking.
That staff member also stood there and listened.
Zhang Ye said, "Not long after, a group of migrant workers came over and each of them donated 1,000 yuan."
Yao Jiancai said, "Whoa, that much?"
Zhang Ye said, "The crosstalk world clenched their fists and said, 'Stay strong'!"
Yao Jiancai said, "Hai."
Zhang Ye said, "Following that, a form teacher brought a group of primary school students over and each of them donated 5,000 yuan!"
Yao Jiancai said, "The primary school students donated 5,000 yuan?"
Zhang Ye said, "The crosstalk world's people held up candles and stood on both sides of them and said, 'Stay strong'!"
Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes. "There's no need for them to say that."
Zhang Ye said, "In the end, a group of women came. They were the staff of the karaoke hall's special services profession. All of them were dressed up beautifully."
Yao Jiancai said, "What kind of profession is that!"
Zhang Ye said, "Each of them donated 50,000 yuan!"
Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "They donated that much?"
Zhang Ye said, "But the Red Cross Society staff gave them a look of disdain. They immediately said, 'Take it back, your money is not clean!'"
The people in the audience stared wide-eyed as they listened, not knowing what the joke was.
Zhang Ye continued, "As a result, the veteran crosstalk artists got anxious and shouted at them, 'How is it not clean! That's all our hard-earned money! '"
When he said that, the audience went crazy with laughter!
"Pfft!"
"Hard-earned money?"
"Hahahaha!"
"Aiyo! I'm choking! I'm choking! "
"Hahahahaha!"
Yao Jiancai's act was quite good. "Oh, so they donated most of their money over there!" This old saying in the crosstalk world actually did not mean that the supporting actor was more important than the comic actor, nor did it mean that the technical skills of the supporting actor were more difficult than the comic actor. Rather, it meant that it depended on whether a joke could achieve the best effect. The role of the supporting actor was very important. The better the supporting actor was, the more effective the joke would be!
When the audience heard that, they laughed until they were in tears!
Over there, there were a few staff from Beijing Television who were not in the audience seats watching the show, but could hear what was being said. They were holding their stomachs and laughing so hard that they could not stand up. They put down their work and looked over to the stage, listening to Zhang Ye scolding them.
Dong Shanshan and the male host were also laughing so hard that their faces bloomed!
There were people playing cards in the audience and there were still five minutes left in their performance.
Zhang Ye had actually been watching the countdown and would adjust the joke segments according to the time. "That's why I also went to learn crosstalk."
Yao Jiancai laughed and said, "You also do crosstalk?"
Zhang Ye said gloomily, "But when I came here, I realized that crosstalk is really not easy to do. The competition in this industry is too fierce, so you just have to do it on stage. There's no way you can beat the others."
Yao Jiancai asked curiously, "Why is that?"
Zhang Ye said, "They all have new tricks up their sleeves. Some crosstalk actors even invited a group of women who speak Dagu Shu to accompany them onstage."
Yao Jiancai said, "Ah? There's such a kind of crosstalk? "
Dagu Shu?
Women?
Everyone immediately thought of it. Wasn't this Tang Dazhang's Spring Festival Gala crosstalk!?
Zhang Ye said, "Those are all women, and they're all wearing qipaos." He gestured at the area under his armpit. "The qipao was opened up to my armpit!"
Yao Jiancai said in surprise, "Good heavens, didn't they just open the curtains twice and come out?"
Zhang Ye tsked and pointed at it in wonder. "I don't know why, but the tickets on both sides are selling very well!"
"Hahaha!"
"Yi!"
"Yi!"
Everyone laughed and jeered again!
Yao Jiancai smacked his lips and said, "Heh, I wonder if they're looking at the drums or the thighs!"
"Aiyo!"
"Hahahaha!"
Some people were getting tired from laughing, but they couldn't stop!
Zhang Ye sighed and said, "Later on, a friend of mine told me that you can't do this. If you want to become famous, you have to go on Central TV's Spring Festival Gala! If you go on the Spring Festival Gala, you'll become famous overnight! "
Central TV's Spring Festival Gala?
Hu Fei was stunned!
Yao Jiancai said, "That's true."
Zhang Ye said, "He has a lot of connections and knows the director of Central TV's Spring Festival Gala. He introduced me to him and when the director saw me, he said that the place was already fully booked and there wasn't a spot for me. He said that I'd have to go and get busy with cleaning up and delivering lunch boxes. Come on, walk the dog for me! Look, I even have to walk the dog for him. How wicked is that! "
Yao Jiancai said, "That counts as a stage manager."
Zhang Ye said, "I have to walk the dog for him every day. It's just this lousy dog that stops after every step it takes, so I brought it to a watch shop. I say, Master, look at this dog that stops after every step it takes. What's going on? Master said it's not a big deal, I just need to rub some greasy mud on it. "
Yao Jiancai: "Hai! Is it about rubbing oil on the mud? "
Zhang Ye: "I've fixed it. The director is overjoyed. Hur, this dog hasn't been fixed for so long, but you've fixed it. You're my trusted aide, so you can stay here."
Yao Jiancai: "That's great."
Zhang Ye: "I'm waiting every day, wondering which job I can do. Which job I can do? Hey, there's a crosstalk performed by 400 people at the venue of the Spring Festival Gala. I can come. "
Yao Jiancai: "What? Four hundred? "
This was clearly mocking Tang Dazhang for his crosstalk performance on the Spring Festival Gala!
For a moment, the people below were even more excited!
Xiao Lu slapped her thigh and laughed!
Dafei shouted again and again, "This is wonderful! It was too exciting! Hahahaha! "
Zhang Ye said, "Just 400 people."
Yao Jiancai shook his head, "That's impossible. There's no such crosstalk."
Zhang Ye glanced at him. "Why not? What did a person say? "
Yao Jiancai said, "It's a monologue."
"What about the two of them?"
Yao Jiancai said, "Crosstalk."
"Three of them?"
Yao Jiancai said, "Group crosstalk."
Zhang Ye said, "So what do you call a 400 people crosstalk?"
Yao Jiancai asked, "What's it called?"
Zhang Ye answered, "It's called the Spring Festival Gala crosstalk!"
Yao Jiancai: "Yeah?"
"Only Central TV's Spring Festival Gala has such a performance."
Yao Jiancai replied, "Hi."
A Spring Festival Gala crosstalk?
Everyone was laughing so hard that their mouths were stiff. Aiyo, he had even slandered Central TV's Spring Festival Gala!
Zhang Ye said, "A 400-person group crosstalk. All of the crosstalk performers from all over the country will gather there and set up a stage. There's a fake mountain over here, a mountain stream over here, and a swimming pool over here. First, they will board a helicopter and drop a 100 crosstalk performers over here with parachutes on their backs. They will stand there and wave at the audience. Then, a 100 of them will come out of the water. Finally, they will bring a trolley over and pull a comedian over to say, 'Dear friends in the audience, we meet again'!"
Wasn't this Tang Dazhang's catchphrase?
Hu Fei gave a wry smile and did not know what else to say. He only knew that no matter who they wanted to offend, they should never offend this kid, Zhang Ye. This fellow's mouth was simply too unscrupulous!
Zhang Ye said, "The performance officially begins. When everyone is standing together, the comedian says, 'I have to say something, so you guys have to turn around and give me my New Year's greetings to everyone.' Then, everyone says, 'I'm very happy to give you all my New Year's greetings! Once they bow, the crosstalk performance is over. "
Yao Jiancai was stunned. "That's it?"
Zhang Ye slapped his thigh excitedly. "I said that this performance is really good. Even the dumbasses can come!"
Yao Jiancai chuckled. "Yeah."
"Hahaha!"
"Even the dumbasses can come? Pfft! "
"I'm dying of laughter!"
Zhang Ye said excitedly, "Let me do it, let me do this. The director said that we can't do it now. These 400 people all have their own backgrounds. If anyone doesn't want to do it, you have to take their place, understand? I watched them every day and waited. If anyone didn't want to do it, I would take their place. It was very busy at the studio. There were thousands of people sitting there and I had to send them lunch boxes every day. One day, during the rehearsal, an elder sister gave birth. Look at how messed up this matter was. I hated it so much. If you're about to give birth, why don't you go home? There are thousands of people here. "
Yao Jiancai said, "That's right."
Zhang Ye said, "I called for a car and carried her up. When I came back, everything was done. It was all my fault. But that day, an opportunity came."
Yao Jiancai asked, "What opportunity?"
Zhang Ye said, "There were 400 people performing the crosstalk. Didn't 100 crosstalk performers get dropped off the plane? One of them's parachutes broke! "
Yao Jiancai jumped in fright. "Aiyo!"
Zhang Ye said, "Pa! How lucky! "
Yao Jiancai asked, "Are you alright?"
Zhang Ye said, "… Dead!"
Yao Jiancai nearly fainted. "Falling to death is considered lucky?"
Another round of laughter rang out!
Zhang Ye hurriedly said, "I was really watching it, so I turned around to look for the director. Let me do it, let me do it! In the end, the director came over and said, 'You're too late.' The person who pushed him off the plane has already taken his place! "
Yao Jiancai exclaimed, "That's too cruel!"
Zhang Ye said, "Do you still want me to live? You guys didn't even give me a chance. I went to complain to my friend and told him that this wouldn't do. I've been working all my life, and I'm also the one responsible for giving birth. I'm in charge of all this, so I don't have a chance at all! In the end, my friend said, 'You're just too thin-skinned. If you want to become famous and get on the Spring Festival Gala, you have to learn how to be thick-skinned first. Do you know how shameless you have to be? "
Yao Jiancai said, "Ah?"
Get on the Spring Festival Gala?
Shameless?
"Yi!"
Another series of squeals rang out! There was even wild laughter all around!
The Station Head was laughing as he facepalmed. "This Little Zhang!"
A deputy Station Head was also cramping up with laughter. Central TV's Spring Festival Gala was famous for being full of inside stories. Zhang Ye's words had hit him right where it made him laugh!
Onstage, Zhang Ye pondered, "How do you learn how to be shameless? I thought about it. Eh, that big sis who gave birth on the spot is really something. Heh, thousands of people watched her give birth. She must be really thick-skinned, right? "
Yao Jiancai was taken aback for a moment before he laughed. "Oh, right, she's thick-skinned."
Zhang Ye clenched his fists. "Right, I went to look for her! After I asked around, I went straight to the hospital. When I got there, she was sitting there, covering her face and crying. Aiya, sob sob, there were thousands of people watching me give birth at the Spring Festival Gala! "
Yao Jiancai laughed and said, "Hai, she also knows how to be embarrassed."
Zhang Ye smiled and said, "I quickly tried to talk her out of it. I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that it wasn't a big deal. That year, when we successfully won the bid for the Olympics, someone gave birth in front of more than 20,000 people at Tiananmen Square!"
Yao Jiancai said happily, "Yeah."
Zhang Ye said, "But when that big sis heard that, she cried even harder, saying, 'Aiya, that was me too!'"
Yao Jiancai was dumbfounded. "Ah? It was all her fault! "
"Hahahahaha!"
Time was up!
It ended just in time!
Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai smiled and bowed!
Immediately, a tidal wave of applause and laughter engulfed the venue!
"Great!"
"Well said!"
"Hahahaha!"
"That was great!"
"Aiyo, I nearly died of laughter!"
"Well scolded!"
The Station Head smiled and shook his head. He didn't know if he should applaud him or not.
Chang Xiaoliang stood up and clapped!
Hou Ge, Hou Di, Xiao Lu, and the others were screaming!
This crosstalk had left the audience with no free time at all. The entire process was filled with jokes!
Zhang Ye exited the stage.
Music and dance started playing on the main stage. The stage for the language performances was temporarily left unused.
When they passed by each other, the male host immediately asked, "Teacher Zhang, Teacher Yao, what's the name of this crosstalk?"
Zhang Ye smiled. "'I Want to Get on the Spring Festival Gala'!"
The male host immediately gave him a thumbs up. "I'm really convinced!"
"That's a good name!" Dong Shanshan also laughed when she heard that. She also gave Zhang Ye a thumbs up. "If this crosstalk of yours were to be broadcast, it would definitely anger a few people from the crosstalk world to death!"
Zhang Ye blinked. "Then does that count as me getting rid of a scourge for the people?"
Yao Jiancai nudged him and said with a smile, "What scourge are you talking about! In everyone's eyes, you're the scourge! "
The performance ended.
But everyone was still longing for more!
Although Beijing Television's staff knew that this was just a rehearsal and that they couldn't possibly broadcast this kind of crosstalk live on the day of the Spring Festival Gala, it did not stop them from giving their warmest applause. This applause was for the exquisite art of crosstalk, and also the greatest respect for Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai!
It was too wonderful!
It was really too wonderful!
This art had been brought to life by Zhang Ye!
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