Of course, a person would not be aware of such a subconscious, because when a person encounters such a situation, they would feel that they should do it anyway, and they would stubbornly believe that it was the only effective way for them at the moment.
That was all I felt at that time. I thought that death was the only way for me to escape. I hate that man. He made me feel dirty to the extreme, and he made me feel dirty to the extreme. "
Wang Xiaodan's tone was not agitated, but he said these words slowly and heavily. But when these words hit Ma Yingjie's ears, he felt a feeling more uncomfortable than pain. It was not the pain caused by a blade, but it was an indescribable feeling for Ma Yingjie. It was painful and bitter. That was probably how Ma Yingjie felt when he heard Wang Xiaodan's words.
Why do all the beautiful women get messed up by men? Why?
This question suddenly popped up in the depths of Ma Yingjie's heart. He suddenly hated himself. If he knew about Wang Xiaodan's past, would he care? Would he feel that it was an insult? He had always thought that the woman was as pure as a fairy, but behind her back, there was a "filth" that he did not know? Was this "filth" Wang Xiaodan's fault?
Yes, Wang Xiaodan fell in love with Freud. This man was a master of dreams. Everyone liked to dream, because the world with dreams was beautiful. When there was no dream, how many people did not seek their own humiliation? For example, Gou Jian, King of Yue, and Han Xin during the struggle for supremacy of Chu and Han. He hoped to torture and humiliate himself in such a way to stimulate his desire to become famous and successful in the depths of his heart.
Now, while Wang Xiaodan was destroying herself in her own way, she was also competing with the instinct of death that she once had. If she was just an ordinary girl, if she did not go on the road of officialdom, perhaps she would slowly grow into a peaceful or even an ordinary housewife in the future. But she just happened to go on the road of officialdom, and walked into the jungle world dominated by men. No wonder she did not retreat even when she knew that Li Jinglin wanted to possess her. Instead, she kept drinking with other women at the table. It turned out that under her appearance, there was a world that Ma Yingjie did not understand, and the terrible consequence was revenge, which was almost cruel and inhuman.
？ History had always been like this. The winner was king, and the loser was the bandit. But history had never belonged to women, just like officialdom did not belong to women.
On this night, Ma Yingjie quietly looked at Wang Xiaodan. He wanted to say many things to Wang Xiaodan, but he could not find what he should say, and what he should not say. He knew that Wang Xiaodan was a woman with a story, and any woman with a story was not simple. But why did Wang Xiaodan fall in love with him? Or did Wang Xiaodan also treat him as a target of revenge and experiment?
Ma Yingjie wanted to know what Wang Xiaodan's real heart was like. So, he did not interrupt Wang Xiaodan, and let her talk about the darkness that belonged to her alone.
But that dark night had tempted her. Her mentor, Situ Yongxin, had tempted her. Then, her life had changed, and everything had changed. She had been admitted to a law graduate with excellent grades. She had always dreamed of being a university teacher or a lawyer. She liked lawyers.
She studied day and night. She gave up all the activities that girls should have in their university life, and worked ten times harder than in high school. She could only study like this, so that she could have a chance to approach her dream. For a child from the countryside, studying was the only way to enter the ideal country.
That mentor, Situ Yongxin, who was 20 years older than her, had destroyed all her dreams. What kind of man was he? Wang Xiaodan could still describe him in the past, and she could not describe him with words and expressions. But now, she could not. She only knew that it was a nightmare, a nightmare that sent her from heaven to hell.
Situ Yongxin was very handsome. Although he was a little older, he was still handsome. Wang Xiaodan had to admit that. It could not be helped. When God intended someone to be a devil, he would always dress him up better and paint him with more colors. Otherwise, he would not be able to confuse people. Wang Xiaodan could not figure out until now. Did she fall in love with Situ Yongxin, or did Situ Yongxin covet her first? Anyway, among the girls in her batch, many secretly liked this sanctimonious beast in human clothing. Before that night came, Wang Xiaodan was still innocent. To be frank, she had not slept with a man, nor had she slept in the same bed. She held his hand and kissed him, but she could not break through the last line of defense. Her first time as a woman was offered that night. No, it was not offered. To be precise, it should be said that she was robbed.
That night, her mentor, Situ Yongxin, took her and a girl named Jiang Min out to socialize. Situ Yongxin had a lot of such social engagements. She took them to classes and also took on many social positions. Wang Xiaodan liked this kind of life. She imagined the future would be like this. She would teach at the university and then do some social work. She could do knowledge, increase her income, and be respected by others. That night, they drank wine. The mentor was invited by a judge and two lawyers. Both of them were prominent figures in the legal world, and they were very famous. Wang Xiaodan also knew that night that judges and lawyers were not natural enemies, but friends and buddies. They drank wine at the same table and picked up girls at the same time. Only when a lawyer became buddies with a judge could he become famous and keep taking on cases. Wang Xiaodan's previous understanding was wrong and biased. At least, it was not in line with the national conditions of China. That night was an eye-opener for her. She drank a lot in excitement. Jiang Min also drank a lot. She was so drunk that she could not stand up. In the end, she had to let the judge carry her to the car. Later, Wang Xiaodan found out that it was not that she and Jiang Min could not hold their liquor. It was a problem with the wine. They were given another kind of wine. That wine had something that made people weak and crazy. It was said that this thing was often hidden in the bags of prominent people like judges and mentors.
That night, the mentor took her to a five-star hotel.
That night, she gave her first time to someone in a daze. Later, the mentor said that she took the initiative. She was crazy and hugged him as soon as she entered the door. She was the one who took off all his clothes. She shouted excitedly as she stripped him. She shouted the words that she could not normally say. She stripped herself naked and gave herself to him.
When the mentor said this, there was a wronged look on his face, as if he was forced. He was very innocent.
Wang Xiaodan remembered nothing. Yes, she remembered the pool of blood on the bedsheet.
That pool of blood should be a woman's luxury.
Some women took their first time very seriously. They thought that once their first time was taken by a man, the man would have to be responsible for her for the rest of his life. This kind of traditional woman was not loved by men, but there were still many of them. Most men liked another kind of woman. This kind of woman was very loose. It did not matter how many times she had done it. If she wanted it, she would give it to him. If she gave it to him, she would leave. She would not care about it and would not say stupid things like asking him to be responsible. In this day and age, who would be responsible for who? The word "responsible" had long become an antique. Besides, she had only slept with him once. What was there to be responsible for?
Wang Xiaodan did not think of asking the mentor to be responsible. She did not think of anything. During that time, Wang Xiaodan's mind was in a mess. It was as if someone had hollowed her out. Everything was blank. She did not know how to face the mentor. How to face herself after she had lost her virginity. She wanted to cry, but she could not. She wanted to laugh, but when she did, tears streamed down her face. Finally, one day, she decided to look for the mentor. She could not continue to be in such a mess. She wanted to understand herself and her mentor. The mentor received her in his office. When Wang Xiaodan entered, the girl named Jiang Min was also there. The mentor sent Jiang Min away, saying that he had something to talk to Wang Xiaodan about. Wang Xiaodan did not think much of it. She did not even look at Jiang Min's face. She sat down. Her mind was filled with the words she had thought of over the past few days, but she could not say them. She looked at the mentor helplessly. She hoped that the mentor would speak first. She hoped that he would say something to help her out of her confusion. The mentor did not say anything. The mentor also looked at her helplessly. Wang Xiaodan's tears flowed down. Why didn't the mentor speak to her? What should he say? Did he not say anything to comfort her?
Later, the mentor walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. Wang Xiaodan wanted to hide, but she did not. She felt that she could not hide. The tutor's hand was a little hot and trembling. Wang Xiaodan also trembled, sending out waves after waves of trembling. Later, she raised her head and looked at the mentor. This man was indeed old, but he was still full of energy. He was still … The mentor suddenly hugged her and said, "Wang Xiaodan, I want you." Wang Xiaodan struggled instinctively, trying to free herself. She did not expect the mentor's hands to be so strong. He did not allow her to struggle at all. The mentor pressed her down on a simple wooden table. He took off her clothes, took out her two beautiful breasts, and stuffed them into his mouth …
Wang Xiaodan originally wanted to ask the tutor something, but in the end, she followed the tutor again in a muddle. This time, she seemed to feel something, but at the same time, she did not. Her body was numb, but her heart felt like there were countless ants crawling and biting it. The biting made her want to scream and tear something. Later on, she gripped the chair tightly, afraid that if she let go, she would fall into hell.
After the mentor was done, he said to her happily, "Wang Xiaodan, you don't have to feel burdened. I know what to do. Don't worry, no one will make things difficult for you during your thesis defense and whatnot. Oh right, if you want, you can continue to read my blog. With me around, everything will be smooth. "
That's it? Just for this?
Wang Xiaodan was completely confused.
These days lasted for about three months. During these three months, Wang Xiaodan was in a daze. She could not figure out what had happened to her life and what changes she had to face. One day after three months, Wang Xiaodan vomited non-stop. She was so disgusted that she could not eat. She asked Jiang Min, "What's wrong? Why are you vomiting even though you didn't eat anything?" Jiang Min looked at her strangely and chuckled. "You slept too much. You'll know when you go to the hospital."
You've already exceeded your reading limit for today. If you want to read more, please log in.
Login
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
