He Jin felt dizzy from Shang Huo's words. What he felt was going to happen had finally happened …
Actually, ever since they had given birth in the game, He Jin could clearly feel the change in their relationship. From online to real life, from the lovey-dovey online to saying how much they missed each other offline, to accompanying each other every night after they returned home, to caring for each other when they were in trouble, and even throwing money at each other … Yes, they had gone too far, but He Jin enjoyed it. He liked Shang Huo, but because he did not dare to develop such a relationship in real life, he pretended not to see the changes. He only selfishly held onto the shadow of Shang Huo for a moment of warmth.
But He Jin knew that this unrestrained feeling would sooner or later burst out of control. It was just that he didn't expect it to come so soon.
"Did I make things difficult for you?" Shang Huo could not help but ask when he saw that He Jin did not respond.
He Jin looked at him, unable to remain as calm as before. "W-didn't we agree … Game is game …" He said with difficulty. The last five words were almost squeezed out of his throat. Against his will, he also wanted to develop a relationship with Shang Huo in real life. He wanted to get to know this person. He did not want to be affected by another person who sounded like him …
"I'm sorry, I can't do it in real life." But the words that came out of his mouth were so rational and decisive.
"Why?" Shang Huo frowned. He could not hide the disappointment on his face, but his tone was agitated. "Because you're straight? Straight? "
He Jin did not answer Shang Huo's question. Instead, he asked in a pleading tone, "Can't we … do it in the game?"
Shang Huo's face was gloomy. "What if I say no?"
He Jin was stunned. He looked at Shang Huo in shock.
Shang Huo said, "Huaxia University, right? How many guys in your school are called He Jin? I remember that you are one year older than me. Third year? It should be easy to find. If I insist on doing things my own way, what can you do to me … "
"No!" He Jin interrupted him in a panic. "If you do that, I will never talk to you again. I will never play games again!"
Shang Huo breathed heavily. He was so angry that his face turned pale. He did not expect that He Jin would really threaten him with "no more games". He smiled bitterly in his heart. 'Then if you knew that I'm Qin Yang, are you going to ignore me forever?'
He Jin seemed to have realized that his words were a little hurtful, and he finally explained, "Shang Huo, listen to me. Actually, from the moment you said that you liked me, I was very confused. What exactly do you like about me? You said that you waited for me for eight years, and I felt very flattered, but it also made me feel very guilty. That was why I wanted to make it up to you in the game by playing with you … But even eight years ago, we did not have much contact. Sometimes, I think that you actually don't understand me that well, and I don't understand you that well either. In reality, I am just a very ordinary person, and perhaps you are the same as well. But the internet has allowed us to add our own fantasies to our virtual characters, so I think that perhaps your liking for me is just a stubborn insistence …"
Shang Huo listened to He Jin's painstaking explanation in amusement. He asked in return, "So you think that the 'Ah Jin' I like is not you, but the person in my fantasies?"
He Jin nodded lightly. This was one of the reasons why he had rejected Shang Huo, and it was also the most important reason. Shang Huo's feelings for him were too unreal, so unreal that He Jin was afraid to be honest with him.
Qin Yang smiled bitterly. If He Jin had said this before he met him, he might not have been able to defend himself. He had to admit that the past eight years of waiting had turned his feelings for this person into an obsession. However, after meeting He Jin and developing a good impression of him in real life, Qin Yang really "had to have him" in virtual reality.
Shang Huo said, "If you think that I don't understand you well enough, we can get to know each other more deeply."
He Jin shook his head, mustered his courage, and said, "No, Shang Huo, this fantasy is very good. I also have this fantasy about you now, and I don't want to break it."
Shang Huo: "…"
At the end of the day, He Jin still could not ignore the inferiority complex that came from the depths of his heart. Even though he had already recognized his sexual orientation, in the past 20 years, He Jin's view of love was still between a man and a woman. As a man, when another man looked at him as a "lover," no matter how good he looked or how outstanding he was, he would still be timid … He was afraid that he would disappoint Shang Huo in real life, and he was also afraid that Shang Huo would disappoint him.
He Jin rejected him very straightforwardly. Qin Yang felt as if he was stuck in a wall. He could not move forward, nor could he retreat. His heart felt stifled.
Last time, He Jin had used the reason that he was not gay to push him away. This time, he had changed to something else. He Jin always had his reasons, but Qin Yang was unwilling to give up. "Do you still remember our conversation before the new year? You said that I don't mind your gender, and you won't mind my appearance … Did you say that from the bottom of your heart?"
He Jin was stunned. He lowered his eyes and said, "Yes, but if it's just a game, as long as it's fun, no one cares if the playmate on the other side of the computer is a dog. But if it's in real life, it would be a lie to say that I don't care."
'Let's just play a game,' He Jin thought selfishly. Instead of being disappointed in each other, it would be better to let this beautiful relationship remain in the virtual game world. At least in the game, they did not need to be responsible to anyone.
…
Shang Huo had nothing to say. He nodded and said coldly, "Alright, I won't force you anymore. Pretend I didn't say what I said earlier."
He Jin saw the defeated look on Shang Huo's face, and his heart ached for no reason.
After being in a stalemate for a long time, he said, "Shang Huo … look, we also have contact in real life. We can already be considered friends …"
Shang Huo did not respond. He Jin lowered his head and said, "Now, we often say good night to each other. In the past, I didn't think that we would do this …"
There was still no reply from the other side. He Jin did not dare to raise his head. "You scared me a little by talking about reality all of a sudden."
He blushed, clenched his fists, and said in a trembling voice, "Can we … take it slow?" This was considered as giving Shang Huo hope, right?
It was really too difficult to develop in real life now. He had nothing now, and he had broken off relations with his family. He had to study and work, and his future was uncertain. If he was given the pressure of a homosexual relationship, He Jin felt that he would collapse …
The surroundings were silent. He Jin raised his head hesitantly, but saw that the figure in front of him was already in "offline standby mode".
He Jin was speechless.
After being attacked in the air and Shang Huo suddenly going offline, the others probably did not have the mood to continue playing. Liluo sent a message asking where He Jin was and whether he wanted to PK again. He Jin rejected her, saying that they would meet another day.
Shishui and the others probably also saw Shang Huo's offline status. After sending He Jin a message to confirm, they all went offline and went to sleep.
He Jin watched as Shang Huo's body disappeared. He stood at the resurrection point for a long time, but the other's name did not light up again. Rice Ball appeared beside him out of nowhere, flying quietly behind him. Perhaps it was there when he was chatting with Shang Huo, but like an obedient system pet, it did not make a sound to disturb him.
He Jin beckoned for Rice Ball to fly closer and hug him. Rice Ball let out a soft "chirp" and flapped its wings twice.
"Little fool …" He Jin touched its wings, feeling the fluffy touch. "Is daddy a coward?"
Rice Ball tilted its head and let out another "chirp", as if to say, "Yes."
He Jin smiled, but his smile was uglier than a crying face ….
It was already past midnight, and the game flashed an announcement, reminding everyone that today was February 14th, Valentine's Day in the West.
He Jin flew to the game store with Rice Ball and picked nine roses.
He could not afford 999 roses, but 9 and 999 represented "long-term", and it was a token of his sincerity.
He Jin chose the flower shop's express delivery service, and the recipient was Shang Huo. It would be delivered the next time the player went online.
"Shang Huo, I'm sorry."
After going offline, He Jin hurriedly checked his wristband, and saw that there were no unread messages. Shang Huo did not send him anything, not even a "goodnight".
He hesitated and wanted to send Shang Huo a "Happy Valentine's Day", but he felt that he had no right to say such words after he had hurt and rejected the other party … Shang Huo was not happy.
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