Li Rong was silent. After a while, she said in a low voice, "I know."
As she spoke, she slowly said, "I'm well aware of my situation."
Li Ming loved Consort Rou's son and was afraid of Li Chuan, who did not agree with his political views. He had long wanted to depose the Crown Prince. She was caught in the middle. It was not easy to depose the Crown Prince, but it was very easy to deal with a princess.
The Su Family was now a prominent family in the court. Su Yongqing was not someone she could covet. Moreover, she was just teasing Pei Wenxuan. She did not have any ulterior motives.
It was rare for her to be so quiet. Pei Wenxuan could not help but look at her. Seeing her gloomy expression, he knew she was thinking about her own matters. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should say something. However, after thinking about it, he did not say anything in the end.
Things had already come to this point. Li Rong was a smart person. She would think about her own path.
The two of them ate the fish quietly and then went to sleep. They didn't mention anything about the marriage.
Pei Wenxuan leaned against a small hill. After closing his eyes for a while, he felt that it was difficult to fall asleep. He opened his eyes again and looked at Li Rong's back in the distance.
The night wind woke him up. Only now did he have time to sort out what had happened that day.
He never thought that Li Rong would be reborn.
He originally thought that this life would be like his previous one. He would marry Li Rong, ignore Qin Zhenzhen, and live a good life with Li Rong. However, now that he thought about it, he was afraid that this idea would not work.
The fifty-year-old Li Rong was completely different from the twenty-year-old. She was crafty and fierce. She was like a thorny bramble. She would hit whoever she caught.
Most importantly, the fifty-year-old Li Rong had Su Yongqing in her heart.
That man had lived with her for twenty-five years, and he had even killed her. Perhaps the betrayal would make Li Rong hate him, but love and hate often coexist. He could not get involved in the deep friendship between them, nor could he tolerate it.
He didn't want his wife to think of another person, like the twenty-year-old Li Rong.
But even if he could not tolerate it, what could he do? Li Rong didn't have a choice, but what choice did he have?
Pei Wenxuan couldn't help but smile bitterly. He looked up and saw Li Rong's back facing him. She looked extremely thin and weak. She curled up her body and hugged herself with her back facing him. When the cold wind blew, she shivered slightly. Pei Wenxuan saw this and hesitated for a moment. After a long time, he stood up and went to the side to pick up the coat he had taken off. He covered Li Rong with it, then returned to the fire and closed his eyes.
Li Rong felt the coat covering her body. She closed her eyes and didn't say anything. After pulling the coat over her body, she thought that Pei Wenxuan's clothes were basically all here.
She hesitated for a moment, but finally opened her mouth and called out to him, "Pei Wenxuan."
"Shut up and sleep."
Pei Wenxuan spoke very decisively.
Li Rong: "… …"
After a while, Li Rong still felt a little guilty and said directly, "Come here and sleep with me."
This time, it was Pei Wenxuan's turn to be silent.
Seeing that he ignored her, Li Rong felt that she had done her duty. She simply pulled the coat and closed her eyes.
After a while, she heard someone's voice behind her. Then, Pei Wenxuan squeezed over. Li Rong gave him half of the coat. She was small, so half of the coat was enough for her to lean sideways. Pei Wenxuan was behind her and draped the other half over himself.
Pei Wenxuan's back was facing her and they were separated by a palm's distance. The cold wind blew in, but Pei Wenxuan didn't move. Li Rong endured for a while and leaned back against him.
Pei Wenxuan's body stiffened.
Although he was in his fifties, he was pathetically lacking in experience when it came to matters between men and women.
He and Li Rong were husband and wife. After Li Rong separated from him, he didn't have anyone else for a long time.
In this matter, he still had some principles in his heart. Being with Li Rong was a responsibility. Of course, when he thought about it later, perhaps when Li Rong lifted the veil, he was still a little moved. It was just that he didn't realize it. And other than Li Rong, he always thought that he should have some feelings for other people. But in his thirty years of life, perhaps because he was too focused on politics, he didn't meet anyone who really moved him.
There were people who sent him beauties one after another. Even Li Chuan, seeing that he was childless, felt apologetic and hinted that even if he married the eldest princess, he could consider taking concubines. It wasn't that he didn't think about it, but every time those beauties stood in front of him, he always felt that something was missing.
After so many years, when the young and delicate Li Rong leaned behind him, he couldn't help but feel nervous like when he met a girl for the first time.
Li Rong noticed his nervousness and couldn't help but feel that it was funny and a little pitiful.
She couldn't bear to see Pei Wenxuan feel awkward, so she changed the topic. "Do you have any regrets in your previous life?"
"Why are you asking this?"
"Just asking." Li Rong smiled. "The two of us have a fortuitous encounter. We can start over from the past. Shouldn't we think about what we regret in the past and see if we can change it in this life?"
Pei Wenxuan was silent. Li Rong saw that Pei Wenxuan didn't speak, so she changed the topic. "Speaking of which, do you want to find Qin Zhenzhen?"
"I don't know."
Pei Wenxuan knew that Li Rong was looking for a topic to talk about. He didn't resist and said calmly, "We'll talk about it in the future."
He didn't know what the future would be like.
Originally, he wanted to marry Li Rong as he had done in the past and live a new life. However, Li Rong's rebirth disrupted his plans.
If he didn't marry Li Rong, then his life would be different. Qin Zhenzhen …
He didn't know how to continue thinking about it.
Qin Zhenzhen died too early, too long ago. He didn't even have time to sort out his feelings before this person left. He never got this person. Therefore, this person became a ray of moonlight, forever shining in the sky and making people look at her from afar.
After looking at the moon for a long time, it was hard to have the heart to chase after it. If someone told him that he could try to reach out and take back the moon, he felt that it was somewhat inconceivable.
Li Rong knew that he was uncertain and sighed. "But I advise you, if you want to do something, do it early. The palace is not suitable for her. Don't let her enter the palace."
"I know."
Pei Wenxuan understood that Li Rong meant what she said. He paused for a moment, then said slowly, "You rarely say such nice things."
"You're funny." Li Rong leaned against Pei Wenxuan's back and smiled bitterly. "I say nice things, but you don't like to hear them."
"No." Pei Wenxuan said indifferently, "I'm just not used to it."
"I didn't want to say this," Li Rong said slowly. "However, I'm a person who clearly distinguishes between kindness and hatred. Although you're more of a hindrance by coming to save me, I still accept your kindness."
"Pei Wenxuan," Li Rong said slowly, "Whether or not we get married in the end, I hope that in this life, we won't be enemies."
"Yes."
Pei Wenxuan said in a low voice.
Li Rong felt Pei Wenxuan's body relax. She knew that this conversation had resolved his awkwardness. She waited for a while.
This was the most amiable and close moment they had ever been. She thought that if they wanted to talk about marriage, this was the most appropriate time.
However, Pei Wenxuan didn't speak for a long time. Li Rong knew that Pei Wenxuan was hesitant about this matter. She didn't make things difficult for him and began to think about how to deal with it tomorrow.
The two people in the dark each had their own thoughts. Li Rong was thinking about the future, while Pei Wenxuan was thinking about the past.
Li Rong's words were still in his ears. She asked him what he regretted.
This was a question he didn't dare to answer.
Because he had been regretting for most of his life. If there was one thing he regretted the most in his life, the first was letting Qin Zhenzhen enter the palace. The second was the dispute between Qin Zhenzhen and Li Rong.
The first time he regretted this matter was not long after they had quarreled. During that period of time, they slept in separate beds. Every night, with a screen between them, he looked at Li Rong, who seemed so close yet so far away. Just looking at her made him feel uncomfortable.
He wanted to say something nice to her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know what to say. On one hand, he felt that Li Rong was right. He had Qin Zhenzhen in his heart, so he shouldn't provoke her. On the other hand, he vaguely felt uncomfortable, but he didn't know why.
Suddenly, news came from the heavenly palace that Li Rong had angered the Emperor and was punished to kneel at the palace gate.
At that time, he was still at home. When he heard the news, he rushed over. He remembered that it was raining heavily that day. The rain was so heavy that he couldn't see the road clearly. When he rushed over with an umbrella, he saw Li Rong kneeling at the palace gate. Su Yongqing was standing beside her. He held an umbrella to shelter her from the wind and rain.
The two of them, one kneeling and one standing, seemed to have become an independent world under that umbrella.
At that moment, he suddenly understood how Li Rong felt. He suddenly realized that a married couple, regardless of whether they loved each other or not, whether they had feelings for each other, would never allow anyone to intrude into their lives.
However, he didn't dare to think too deeply about that feeling. He covered up this discomfort, hid it, and pretended that it didn't exist.
When he was old and thought about it, he vaguely understood that at that time, he still cared about Li Rong. However, Qin Zhenzhen was a barrier in his heart. It was too difficult for him to accept that he liked one person, then fell in love with another.
Most importantly, he was too timid when it came to relationships. What he needed was a stable relationship. Either he could make it clear that he would give up, just like Qin Zhenzhen. He clearly knew that this person wouldn't like him, so he had to be steadfast in his wishful thinking. Or he could make it clear that he liked this person and let him feel at ease. He could let him know that this person liked him.
He was most afraid of Li Rong being like this. Occasionally, he would feel that she might care about him, but in an instant, he would feel that she didn't care about him at all.
He didn't dare to like her. Li Rong was also very decisive. She knew that he cared about Qin Zhenzhen, so she immediately withdrew from him. From the bed, to the room, to the mansion.
She didn't give him any leeway at all.
Not only did she distance herself from him, but she also seemed to hate him. She couldn't stand any of his advances and wanted to trample on them. When he was angry, they would quarrel, and it would go on and on.
Therefore, he could only continue on his path of perseverance.
He could only keep telling himself that Qin Zhenzhen was very important. Since he had already agreed to it with Li Rong, he should persevere.
He was like a gambler. If the chips were too big, he could only continue to gamble. There was no turning back.
When the Su Family was destroyed and Su Yongqing was imprisoned, he heard that Li Rong went to beg Li Chuan. He even contradicted Li Chuan in court and was beaten by Li Chuan.
He hurriedly rushed into the palace and saw Li Rong lying on the ground covered in blood. When she saw him, she even used her hands that were dyed with red nails to grab him tightly. She said to him in a hoarse voice, "Pei Wenxuan, I want to protect Su Yongqing."
He couldn't describe how he felt at that time. He just felt as if a piece of his heart had been gouged out. The intense pain finally woke him up and made him realize it clearly.
He finally regretted it.
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