Le Zhishi had been calling Song Yu the whole way. His phone was turned off, and he sent him many WeChat messages.
His hands were shaking when he got out of the car to pay.
The airport hall was a mess. The pale white lights reflected off the floor in a dazzling way. The crowd clustered around him in small groups, as if he was the only one there. Le Zhishi couldn't remember how he found the counter or how he explained his situation to the counter. Afterward, he thought he must have been in a bad state because the service staff kept repeating, "Don't worry, I'll take a look for you."
His mind was in a mess. He only remembered saying that he wanted to go to West City and that he wanted to take the fastest flight.
After the service staff checked, they politely gave him a bad answer.
There were no direct flights.
He couldn't find Song Yu directly in the shortest amount of time.
Le Zhishi pressed his hand hard against the cold surface of the counter. The person next to him was in a hurry to buy a ticket. When he swung his suitcase over, it hit Le Zhishi's knee and calf, so he swayed and squatted down in front of the counter.
He heard the person repeatedly apologize to him and ask if he was okay. Le Zhishi could only shake his head. He couldn't stand up for a while.
After a minute, the person who bought the ticket left. Le Zhishi finally had some strength. He leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. He slowly stood up and asked for the transit route.
After some twists and turns, he bought a ticket to the provincial capital.
Le Zhishi was glad that he had brought his wallet with him. There were all kinds of documents in his bag.
It was raining outside. The sky was a cold gray, and the glass passage at the boarding gate was full of mist. Before he took off, he kept calling Song Yu, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get through. He was angry and scared, but there was nothing else he could do.
Once again, he boarded the plane alone.
At thirty thousand feet, the sky was gray and gray. Le Zhishi's heart was still in the rain.
The short two-hour flight felt like years to Le Zhishi. It was hard for him not to think about the worst outcome. He couldn't help but attribute the bad luck to himself.
It was very tugging. Half of his body was filled with imagined pain and sorrow, real ruins and wreckage, and ghostly pale cries for help. The other half, however, was the courage he had forced out for Song Yu. It made him try to calm down and let reason have the possibility of dispelling the panic.
Song Yu.
Song Yu. Song Yu.
He repeated his name over and over in his mind, treating it as a form of healing from stress.
Le Zhishi's phone didn't have much battery left. He turned it off and prepared to turn it back on after landing. As the stewardess passed by, he called out to her in a panic.
"Hello, what can I do for you?"
"A glass of warm water, thank you." He quickly added, "And paper and pen … anything will do."
The flight attendant quickly brought him water, a pen, and a piece of white paper. Le Zhishi felt a dull pain in his chest. His chest felt like an airbag that was gradually being emptied. His heart condensed into a heavy lead ball and fell down hard. His stomach was very uncomfortable. Le Zhishi drank all the water. He pressed his abdomen with one hand and wrote with difficulty on the paper with the other.
He knew that he had boarded the plane in a hot-headed state. He didn't inform his family and even completely ignored Jiang Yufan who was there. He was so abnormal that he didn't seem like an adult at all.
What he needed to do now was to calm down and come up with a really effective plan to meet Song Yu before landing.
Le Zhishi tried to recall the advice given by the staff at the ground counter. The transfer flight would take a whole night. Seeing that he couldn't wait at all, the staff immediately suggested that he take a bus.
He wrote down the bus stop and wrote down the things he must prepare after getting off the plane. A lot of medicine, necessary clothes, chargers, water, enough cash … No matter what came to mind, Le Zhishi wrote it down immediately. He was afraid that he would panic and forget about it when he got off the plane.
Then he had to think about the worst-case scenario. What should he do if they still lost contact? His mind was in a mess. Le Zhishi tried his best to calm down, but his vision was dizzy and blurry. He was short of breath and his chest was tight. He thought that this was a psychological reaction after imagining the disaster, so he took out the asthma medicine in his pocket in case he needed it.
Song Yu. Song Yu …
Le Zhishi thought to himself and calmed down a lot. He closed his eyes and searched for clues in the darkness. He regretted that he didn't go to Song Yu's new laboratory. There was no contact information for anyone in the same group. However, he suddenly remembered that he knew an upperclassman from Song Yu's previous laboratory, so he wrote down her name and wrote next to it, "Call after landing."
Soon after, he thought of Professor He. Even though there was no phone number, he was sure there would be an email on the school's website. No matter what, an email would be good at a time like this. Many ideas and methods instantly flooded Le Zhishi's mind.
He would definitely be able to find Song Yu.
With this thought, Le Zhishi's anxiety gradually faded.
Finally, he took the piece of paper with a plan and got off the plane. It was only 2: 30 in the afternoon, but it felt like a cold evening there. The sky was dark. Le Zhishi was all alone. He didn't even have a single piece of luggage.
As soon as he landed, he turned on his phone. He received a lot of messages and calls from Jiang Yufan. It was hard for him to be distracted. He gave a short reply, telling him not to worry, and then called Song Yu.
The phone was still off.
He had never hated Song Yu so much. He hated Song Yu's disappearance and lack of response, but after a second, tears welled up in his eyes. His heart softened too quickly. He couldn't blame Song Yu for even a second. He only hoped that Song Yu would pick up his call as soon as possible.
If they really met, Le Zhishi thought he would lose his temper again. He would yell at Song Yu, hit him, and question him about why he didn't pick up his phone or contact him.
He walked to the arrival gate with that thought in mind. There were many people outside, and everyone's faces were filled with joy at being reunited. They waved when they saw the person they were picking up and called out their name.
However, Le Zhishi only heard an electronic voice telling him that the call couldn't go through.
Lowering his eyes, he ended the call and hurried out. Clutching the piece of paper, he got into a taxi. The driver was a friendly person. Apparently, he was in a rush, so he drove very quickly.
"Are you alone? Why don't you even have luggage? "
Le Zhishi was in a bad mood, but it seemed rude not to respond, so he simply said, "I'm looking for someone. I need to go to West City."
The driver seemed to have noticed something. Seeing him frown, he said, "Oh," and drove in silence for a while. He couldn't help but say, "Don't worry, handsome."
Le Zhishi suddenly felt a lump in his throat, but he held it in.
"Okay."
The driver drove him to a large supermarket. Le Zhishi thanked him and left.
Usually, Le Zhishi was the kind of person who could wander around aimlessly all day. However, at a time like this, Le Zhishi suddenly became an efficient and mature adult. He took the list he had planned in advance and bought everything he needed. After paying the bill, he went straight to the bathroom and changed into a thick down jacket and a thermal jacket. He didn't want to get sick before he found Song Yu. It would be too useless.
The bus station was more chaotic than he had imagined. Perhaps it was because Le Zhishi was sensitive, but anyone's voice was magnified countless times in his ears. It was very noisy and chaotic. He carried a heavy bag and found the ticket counter.
When the ticket seller heard his destination, his expression didn't look too good. His voice became a little harsh through the microphone.
"There's an earthquake there. Don't you know?"
Le Zhishi nodded slowly. He was afraid that his meaning would be misunderstood, so he quickly said, "I know."
The other party seemed to feel that something was wrong with him and repeated, "I said there's an earthquake in West City. Are you still going there? Many people are refunding their tickets. "
"I know there's an earthquake." Le Zhishi frowned. He wanted to say something more, but he suddenly stopped. He hurriedly glanced in another direction, and in the end, he couldn't hold back his emotions.
When he first heard the news, he didn't cry. He didn't cry on the plane alone. He didn't even shed a tear when he lost contact with Song Yu for so long.
In this unfamiliar ticket hall, which was more than 300 kilometers away from the accident site, he heard the news of an earthquake again. The string that Le Zhishi had been holding tightly seemed to have suddenly snapped.
He frowned. His stubborn eyes were filled with tears, and they fell uncontrollably.
But he couldn't break down. It wasn't time yet.
Le Zhishi wiped his tears with his sleeve and repeated with red eyes, "I want to go. How much is it?"
The ticket seller's voice became softer and he gave him a number. Le Zhishi took out his wallet in a hurry and looked for his ID card. However, he forgot which compartment he had placed it in. When he looked for it in a hurry, he also pulled out a folded piece of paper.
It was a response that Song Yu had written on his teaching materials.
A part of Le Zhishi's heart seemed to collapse, and a lot of sour juice gushed out. However, he didn't have time to be sad. He could only stuff the paper back into his wallet and accept the ticket and ID card that the ticket seller handed over.
"This is the last bus. The rest of the buses are out of service."
He was seriously carsick, so he usually didn't take the bus. This time, the bus ride was seven hours. In the past, Le Zhishi would have found it unbearably long. Moreover, this time, his destination was the disaster site that he feared and panicked the most.
However, when he thought about the possibility of seeing Song Yu in seven hours, the journey didn't seem so torturous.
He could seize every slim chance that he could be with Song Yu for the sake of him. He could give up the happy life for the rest of his life in exchange for a period of time to try with him. He could also work hard to repair his defect of not being able to be loved calmly for him.
He wasn't that brave, but if Song Yu was trapped in the abyss that he feared the most, Le Zhishi would jump in without hesitation.
Sitting in the bus, the thick jacket and backpack pressed against Le Zhishi's body in the small seat. The bus was filled with a dizzying smell, and there seemed to be countless dust particles floating in the dry air.
He put on headphones and kept his phone plugged into the charger to make calls. He waited until the suggestion tone on the other end faded and the line went dead with a beep before he called again.
In between beeps, Le Zhishi struggled to open a bottle of water. He rummaged through it to find medicine for altitude sickness. He poured several pills onto his palm and swallowed them all in one go. One of the pills seemed to be very large and was stuck in his throat.
The call still didn't go through.
Le Zhishi gulped down a few more mouthfuls of water, coughed for a while, and then reopened the paper that was almost crumpled by him. He read the items on it again, crossed out the completed part with a pen, and then began to try to contact Song Yu's senior sister. After twelve minutes, she gave a reply, but she didn't know much. However, she enthusiastically offered to help Le Zhishi ask other students.
He began to search online for Professor He's contact information but only managed to get an office number and email address. Le Zhishi tried calling the office, and as expected, no one picked up. He spent ten minutes writing an email and sent it to Professor He using the campus email address.
However, he didn't have high hopes of getting a reply, because he knew that no one would have time to check email in a situation like this.
His hope dimmed again.
Le Zhishi looked at the gray sky outside the window and took out the paper again. Song Yu's name was written all over it, and Song Yu had replied with one word at the end.
He really hoped that Song Yu would reply to him like last time, even with one word.
The car swayed as it moved forward. Le Zhishi's head was spinning and he wanted to throw up. He didn't know if the medicine for altitude sickness was kicking in or if he was really, really tired. In a daze, he closed his eyes, leaned against the window, and fell asleep. He also had a dream. In his dream, he got into a taxi again and arrived at the airport. He went through security and boarded the plane alone. It was as if he was replaying his chaotic day again.
But in the end, he dreamed that the car he was in had crashed into another truck, so he was awakened by the screeching of brakes and the sound of a collision.
The car window was fogged up, and it was all white outside. Le Zhishi, who had woken up from his dream, reached out in confusion and wiped away the fog on a small piece of the window.
The passenger next to him spoke in a dialect that Le Zhishi could understand. "It's snowing so heavily. What should we do? There's still an earthquake over there … I still have to rush back to see my mother. She's alone in her hometown."
Le Zhishi's heart sank bit by bit. He turned on his phone and realized that he had slept too soundly. Lin Rong had called him, but he hadn't received any calls.
She seemed to be busy taking care of the elderly and didn't know about the earthquake. She even texted him to ask if he was coming home for dinner that night.
Le Zhishi thought about it for a while and told her that he wouldn't be coming home that night. He didn't want to tell Lin Rong about this. She had been working too hard recently. If she knew that something had happened to Song Yu while he was out, it would be hard for her to accept it. She might even break down.
A minute later, he received a reply from Lin Rong.
[Aunt Rong: Then eat well. Be careful and take care of yourself.]
The snow outside the window was really heavy. It was so heavy that the car slowed down significantly, making Le Zhishi panic.
Someone asked if it would be late, but the driver couldn't give a clear answer. Thus, it was like a vicious cycle. The more they couldn't get a clear answer, the more uncontrollable their emotions became.
A child in the front seat cried loudly, making the entire car even noisier. Le Zhishi lowered his head and took out a bag of candy from his bag. He had bought it because he was afraid that he would get dizzy from hypoglycemia if he didn't eat in time. He opened it and grabbed a few. Through the gap between the two seats in front of him, he reached out and handed them to the young mother who was coaxing the child.
The other party was very surprised, but she reacted and kept thanking him. The child stopped crying and grabbed the red candy that Le Zhishi gave him. Under the guidance of his mother, he said in a sobbing tone, "Thank you, Big Brother."
Le Zhishi shook his head, peeled one for himself, and stuffed it into his mouth. Then, he continued to send messages to Song Yu on WeChat. After sending the message, he saw the call option and couldn't help but video call him.
He knew that no one would pick up.
He suddenly realized that he wasn't as panicked as before, and his hands were no longer shaking uncontrollably.
However, he sank into a boundless emptiness. His consciousness was like slow-flowing ice water, soaking his body bit by bit and finally conveying it to his heart.
All the thoughts, thoughts, and the plan he had tried so hard to write down were abandoned in his slow-flowing consciousness. In the end, only Song Yu's name fell into his heart.
In the end, the car arrived at its destination. This was the second thing that Le Zhishi felt lucky about in this long day, even though it took three hours longer than expected.
There were very few people at the station in the early hours of the morning, and it was especially cold. Le Zhishi put on the hat of his down jacket and got out of the car. The anti-altitude sickness medicine didn't seem to have much effect. Le Zhishi had some difficulty breathing, and his head hurt. These were all very consistent with the altitude sickness he had searched up, so Le Zhishi wasn't very worried.
He used the mouth breathing method recommended on the website to try to slow down the symptoms. He breathed and inhaled in small mouthfuls, but it didn't have much effect for the time being.
There were a lot of people in firefighting uniforms outside. They seemed to be checking every passenger who came in and partially restricting the passage.
They lined up to walk out. There were also volunteers wearing thick black down jackets on duty late at night. They asked all the passengers in detail about the purpose of their trip and registered their names and contact information. They kept emphasizing that there might be aftershocks later.
It was snowing heavily, and the station would be temporarily closed soon. Le Zhishi was glad that he had made it in time for his last chance.
A volunteer wearing a red armband collected his identity information, and another person gave him a first aid kit and emergency guide. When asked about the purpose of his trip, Le Zhishi quickly answered, "I'm looking for my boyfriend."
This was not like a high school, and some people around him looked at him strangely.
However, the young female volunteer only paused for a moment before asking a few more questions, "Then, where is your boyfriend now? Is he a local? Can you contact him now? "
Le Zhishi shook his head. "He's not a local. I lost contact with him. He came here for a mapping mission, and now …"
She pulled Le Zhishi aside. "It's okay. Take your time. What's the mapping mission?"
Le Zhishi thought that she might be able to help, so he quickly explained Song Yu's work and emphasized, "If he's fine, he should be involved in the emergency rescue work, but I can't contact him now."
Le Zhishi thought of something. "Do you have the number of the local earthquake rescue command center?"
"I think so." The female volunteer frowned and took out an old notebook from her body. She flipped through it and found a similar number, but the line was busy when she dialed it. She called her friend who was volunteering at the command center in the epicenter, but the other party did not pick up for the time being.
"In this situation, it's very difficult to get through to the command center." Another volunteer approached them. "It's very busy now."
"Is the disaster very serious?" Le Zhishi asked.
"We're not in the epicenter of the earthquake," the man explained. "We can't drive any further west. Many houses over there have collapsed." He pointed at a bus parked by the side of the road with its lights on. "Do you see that? A group of rescue medical teams have just arrived from the provincial capital, and they're about to go there now. I advise you not to go there now. It's very chaotic. You can't take care of anything there, and you can't even eat. "
He took out a cigarette, but he couldn't find a lighter after searching for a long time, so he put it back. "Forget it, young man. Just wait in a nearby hotel for the night. We'll see what happens tomorrow morning."
Le Zhishi's attention was completely attracted by the bus. He took two steps in that direction and was stopped by the female volunteer. "Hey, where are you going? That bus doesn't carry outsiders. "
"My boyfriend is there." Le Zhishi opened his mouth. His voice was very soft and weak. He was afraid that the other party couldn't hear him, so he repeated it a little louder, "He might be doing emergency rescue. Their work is very important, and they can save many people."
"He's very young, only 22 years old. He's just started doing emergency mapping. This is the second time he's gone out for work after changing directions … I've called him many times, and I've even WeChat …"
Le Zhishi's face was pale. He spoke very slowly and without logic. The bag on his back looked like it could crush him, but he was very stubborn. He looked like he was having trouble breathing, but he kept talking, trying to persuade them. "He's over there. I just want to look for him. Please, can you help me?"
"You … Don't you also need to count the missing people?" Le Zhishi stood in the cold wind, his right hand holding his left arm. "If you confirm that he's missing, you … can also …"
He couldn't continue. He had tried his best.
"Sigh, really." The man who didn't even smoke took out his car keys. "I'm going to the epicenter to replace someone in a while. I'll bring you along."
Le Zhishi finally grasped a glimmer of hope. "Really? Thank you … Sorry to trouble you. "
"Don't thank me. I'm just afraid that I'll hurt you." The big brother opened the car door. "Many people are here to look for their relatives. You're late, so many people have already been picked up."
But he had tried his best.
The female volunteer also got into the car. The space in the car was not big, and the trunk and seats were filled with folding tents and boxes of water. The male volunteer made some space for Le Zhishi and told him to fasten his seatbelt.
The snow stopped, but there was a lot of snow on the road, and it was difficult to walk. After driving for a kilometer, Le Zhishi couldn't help but look out the window. It was too dark, and he leaned against the car window. He could only vaguely see some broken buildings and collapsed houses. It wasn't real, but his heart still felt a fine pain, and his breathing was difficult. That feeling continued to spread, and finally spread to his entire body.
Le Zhishi, who was sitting in the seat, bent down, curled up his abdomen, and breathed in small mouthfuls. Altitude sickness, the stress of the disaster, and the longing for Song Yu tortured him in many complicated ways.
He was very afraid that he would fall ill. He held his phone in one hand and the asthma medicine in the other.
The female volunteer looked back with concern and asked if he had high altitude sickness, if he hadn't eaten, and if he wanted to eat something. Le Zhishi couldn't say much, so he shook his head. Then, he rummaged through his bag and found something to eat. He stuffed it into his mouth and chewed mechanically. Then, he swallowed it with the unfinished water in the car.
Because the original road had a slight crack in the ground, they changed to another one, and it took a little longer. Le Zhishi tried to call Song Yu again, but another ringtone sounded in the quiet car.
"My friend called back." The female volunteer's voice was a little louder, and the call was quickly picked up. "Hello? Yes, I met a boy here. He's looking for a boy who's doing emergency mapping in the epicenter of the earthquake. He's 22 years old, a young man. I heard that he came with a team led by a professor. Hmm … he said he's his boyfriend … Anyway, help me contact him. Okay, sorry to trouble you … "
She gave her detailed address and the place she was going to before hanging up the phone. Turning around from the passenger seat, the female volunteer comforted Le Zhishi. "I've already asked my friend to look for him. Don't worry."
Le Zhishi thanked her many times, and his voice was weak.
"It's okay. I'm responsible for registering the population. Looking for people is also my responsibility."
The big brother sitting in the driver's seat kept looking at him in the rearview mirror. "Young man, your high contrast is a little serious."
He thought that he seemed to be separated from his body. He was also very used to the feeling of not being able to breathe properly. When he was said that it was very serious, he only showed a confused expression.
"We're almost there, we're almost there."
The female volunteer saw that something was wrong with him. She took out a portable oxygen tank from her hiking bag and handed it to Le Zhishi in the shaking car. "Take it. I'll teach you how to use it."
He didn't really want to take it. He didn't want to waste someone else's oxygen tank.
"Take it quickly. I still have it. Moreover, I'm local. The high contrast isn't serious." She took off the dust cover herself, inserted the transparent oxygen mask into the oxygen nozzle, and stuffed it into Le Zhishi's hand. "Look at the mask and press the pump head to inhale oxygen."
The car stopped in the dark, and the door was pulled open. The female volunteer advised him not to look for people blindly, but she didn't let him go. She said that there could be aftershocks at any time.
"You're right here. My friend is already helping you look for them."
Le Zhishi nodded and got out of the car with oxygen. His footsteps were light. He steadied himself a little and checked his phone. He found that his phone was turned off. He hurriedly turned it on, but he couldn't turn it on no matter how hard he tried.
"It's too cold here. It's minus ten to twenty degrees Celsius. It's very easy to freeze and turn off your phone," the female volunteer reminded him. "Don't freeze your hands. You're not wearing gloves."
Le Zhishi looked at the thick snow and finally put his phone back into his pocket. He inserted the oxygen tank in his other hand into the side of the bag and began to help the volunteer carry the supplies.
"Hey, don't move!" The big brother stopped his arm. He only heard Le Zhishi whisper, "Anyway, there's no news. I want to help a little."
"Alright …" the big brother sighed. "Be careful. This is very heavy."
Le Zhishi didn't even dare to observe the disaster area carefully. He didn't dare to look at the collapsed houses or ruins. There was only a vast expanse of white snow in front of him. He blindly followed the volunteer's big brother to carry the supplies and hoped that their friend would have some news.
He wanted to do more things and accumulate more good luck. His luck was really too bad.
In a daze, he wondered if this was not pious enough.
But he really hoped that he would be lucky this time.
After moving all the water from the settlement and setting up the fourth tent with the others, Le Zhishi couldn't take it anymore. His chest hurt. He quickly squatted on the ground and breathed in oxygen for a few minutes to ease the altitude sickness. Far off he thought he heard someone weeping, loudly and bitterly, and a great sorrow rose in his heart.
Forcing himself to get up, Le Zhishi took out a new foldable tent. This time, he was much more familiar with it. He could finally find the gap to insert the skeleton. This way, he could quickly prop up a point.
After setting up a tent alone, Le Zhishi felt a little sense of accomplishment. But it didn't last long. Soon, Le Zhishi's emotions became numb again. He took out a new tent without saying a word.
He thought that he could successfully open it this time, but after opening it, he found that one side of the tent was open. The wind poured in from the outside and cut his face like knives. Le Zhishi stood alone in the heavy snow. His sneakers were almost covered in snow. Some of the snow had melted and seeped into his shoes. His legs were numb from the cold.
The big blue tent blocked all of his vision. Only a crack shone through. He turned around and spoke to the busy volunteer behind him. But his voice was too weak, and the other party didn't hear him at all.
"Then I'll put it away." Le Zhishi muttered to himself in a daze. He pulled out the skeleton and accidentally touched it. His fingers were blue from the cold and he couldn't feel them anymore.
As soon as the skeleton was pulled out, the tent slowly collapsed. He supported himself with his palms on the cold snow and stood up with difficulty. The dark night and white snow returned to Le Zhishi's vision.
In addition, there was a tall figure. He was wearing the blue down jacket that Le Zhishi had praised. He was holding an old cellphone in his left hand and his other sleeve was fluttering. He had a white work tag hanging on his body. There seemed to be something else hanging on his neck. Behind him was a nasal oxygen tank with a hose over his ear. He was searching around with a volunteer.
At a certain moment, his panicked eyes met with Le Zhishi's confused eyes.
Le Zhishi felt as if he had died for a moment. His consciousness had left this cold and stiff body. Until Song Yu really ran to him and appeared in front of him.
He wanted to confirm if it was his illusion. But the next moment, Song Yu in front of him reached out his left hand and pulled him into his arms. He lowered his head and called his name.
"Le Zhishi, Le Zhishi …"
Song Yu's voice was trembling, which was rare. "Why are you here? Who told you to come?"
Le Zhishi had difficulty breathing and his brain was dull. It was as if he didn't hear him.
"Song Yu …" His voice was very weak, like a piece of snow that would soon melt in his arms. Le Zhishi shouted several times and received many responses. But he didn't answer Song Yu's question. For a moment, he forgot the purpose of coming here. He even forgot the words he had prepared to say when they met.
He just lowered his head and held back his sobs. He raised his hand and wiped away the tears on his face.
"Song Yu, I know how to set up a tent now. I set up all those …"
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