"That's what I've always thought. I respect him a lot. I admit that before I met Qin Fangang, I thought I'd just live like this for the rest of my life. It didn't matter if you didn't like me, as long as I followed your father's path. Because I married you five years ago, I was living my life for my father's sake. What difference does it make in the future? But God still gave me another path. In the process of stumbling forward, I learned a lot. I learned to be strong, to be responsible, and to understand what I want the most. I tried my best to grasp it. When I tried to grasp it, I saw too many things that I didn't even dare to think about in the past. I know the truth is very cruel, so during this period of time, I've been avoiding it until my baby was gone. "
Lu Yihan pursed his thin lips tightly. Even his breathing became a little soft. He didn't say anything, nor did he know what to say. He knew that Xin Yu didn't have any ulterior motive for saying this to him. Perhaps she just subconsciously trusted him, or perhaps there were some things she couldn't say to Qin Fangang, so she chose to say it to him.
But no matter what her motive was, he didn't want to interrupt her. He was willing to listen.
The room was exceptionally quiet. The two of them had been bound together as husband and wife for five years, but this was the first time they sat down so quietly. And now, this arrogant rich young master was listening to her quietly. This change made Xin Yu instinctively let go a little. The darkest part of her past in the elevator had always been the key to tormenting her. She couldn't open her mouth. She didn't know why, but when it came to Lu Yihan, she was actually able to say it —
"When I was locked up in the elevator, I was really scared. But what scared me the most wasn't the claustrophobic space. It was because I received a call from your father while I was in the elevator."
When Xin Yu said this, she paused. She took a deep breath and tried very hard to control her emotions. But the darkness came and the deep fear almost overturned her. She was still scared, and her voice trembled a little. "He said he already knew I was pregnant. He said he was very disappointed in me. He said he wouldn't allow me to give birth to this child. He called my baby a bastard. He didn't give me a chance to speak. He said a lot of things to me, but every word was like a sharp knife stabbing straight into my heart. I was very scared. I felt like heaven and earth wouldn't respond. I couldn't refute a single word. I could only listen to his constant buzzing in my ears. I …"
"Xin Yu, Xin Yu, calm down! Take your time. I'll stay with you, Xin Yu — "
Lu Yihan saw that something was very wrong with Xin Yu. When she finished speaking, her whole body started to twitch. He never knew that his father could be so cruel. She couldn't lie to him at this time, so everything she said must be true. In that kind of environment, the old man's words to her were undoubtedly too big of a blow.
He leaned forward and reached out to hug her. His hands paused in mid-air, but in the end, he still dropped them.
Surprisingly, Xin Yu didn't push him away. No one knew that right now, her mind was filled with the dark scene in the elevator and Lu Shiyun's voice in her ear. Every time she thought of the two words "bastard," she felt like there was something sharp in her throat. It was especially uncomfortable.
She needed warmth, but the warmth she felt right now wasn't the warmth she was familiar with and relied on. This wasn't Qin Fangang. Xin Yu furrowed her delicate brows. Even though she didn't push Lu Yihan away, she still shrunk her body back.
Lu Yihan could feel her silent resistance, but he didn't let go. With such a soft body in his arms, he shamefully felt that it was too extravagant. He didn't want to let go. He tightened his arms and gently comforted her. "I didn't know something like this happened. Xin Yu, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I was willing to let go of you earlier, perhaps things wouldn't have ended up like this today."
Xin Yu shook her head. She wanted to say no. Actually, she really didn't blame Lu Yihan. Deep down, she knew very well that there were some things that she didn't know about, and neither did Lu Yihan. These days, she couldn't sleep because she was afraid. She was afraid that as soon as she closed her eyes, she would see that pitch-black enclosed space. That feeling of being alive was worse than death. But what hurt her even more and made her unable to recover was the deep self-blame.
She seemed to finally understand Lu Shiyun's character, so she couldn't accept her careless actions back then.
At that time, if she had listened to Qin Fangang and not been in such a hurry to leave the car when she couldn't get in touch with him, perhaps nothing would have happened. And when she thought about her father and what Zhou Su once said to her, she felt even more afraid.
For five years, what kind of man had she listened to?
Was she the one who killed her child with her own hands? Was she the one who caused her father to be locked up in that kind of place and suffer endless pain?
This voice kept echoing in her mind, making it impossible for her to pull herself together. Even if she told herself countless times that the world was so big and she was so insignificant, no matter how big the setbacks and difficulties were, as long as she took a breath, they would become insignificant.
Yes, she would have a child, but who knew that she wouldn't become so haggard and weak because of a child? She was really too afraid. If the truth was as she thought, she didn't know what kind of position she could place herself in.
She was very afraid, so afraid that she didn't dare to tell Qin Fangang these things.
"Xin Yu, there are a lot of things that I don't understand. In fact, I always felt that it was very unfair. Five years ago, I didn't like you, but the old man forced you to be with me. Five years later, I think you're actually very good and want to get along well with you, but suddenly there's Qin Fangang. Can you understand that kind of feeling? I felt like I was a monkey being toyed with by fate. How could a proud person like me accept such things? That's why I never wanted to let go of you. It wasn't until I found out that you were pregnant that I finally realized that I couldn't continue to hold you back like this. You being with Qin Fangang is indeed a kind of irony to me, but at the end of the day, isn't it because I didn't cherish you? I told myself that I had to look forward as a person. Even if I didn't want to admit that I was just a chess piece played by fate, I had to admit that being a chess piece could be divided into those who did well and those who didn't. Don't you think so? "
Xin Yu didn't move. She seemed to be listening very quietly. Lu Yihan continued, "Many times, there are many things that we can't control. I know that you must feel very sad and blame yourself. You must feel that the child is in your body, but as a mother, you can't protect it well. But Xin Yu, if we can really take care of everything, then we're not human anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying? You must be strong. If you torture yourself like this, it's actually just — — The enemy is happy, and the loved ones are hurt. Let me tell you one more thing. When I found out that you had a one-night stand with Qin Fangang in England, I was very shocked and very angry. At that time, I really wanted to kill someone. But when I went to look for Qin Fangang, he told me that it was just a misunderstanding and that the mastermind behind it was Lan Ruoran. "
“”
"At that time, I really thought that life was too funny. The woman that I've always doted on, I actually never understood her true colors. I was with her for so many years, but I didn't know that she was actually a very scheming woman. I felt that I really deserved it. I deserved that I didn't get anything. But now, I think about it. Who says that in our lives, every person we experience, every past, isn't a representation of maturity? At least later on, I saw clearly what kind of person she was. At least now I understand that you shouldn't judge a person by their appearance. Xin Yu, we can't force other people's mistakes onto ourselves. We have to learn to accept it. Actually, I didn't know that I could actually say such things to you. But these are my heartfelt words. If you can understand, then you'll definitely understand what I'm trying to say to you. "
“”
Xin Yu felt a lump in her throat. She seemed to really understand. Just as she was about to say something, the door of the ward was suddenly pushed open from the outside. Steady footsteps could be heard, accompanied by a familiar male voice. He happened to say, "I know. You go back and rest first. Leave this to me —"
When he said the last word, he stopped abruptly. Then the man roared angrily, "When did you come in? What are you doing?! "
Ji Yang stood at the entrance, extremely shocked.
When did Lu Yihan come in?
Qin Fangang's face was ashen. His malicious eyes stared at Lu Yihan's hands that were holding Xin Yu. His entire person exuded an aura of hostility that made people afraid to get close to him. It was as if he would pounce on him in the next second without hesitation.
He slowly raised his head. The light in his eyes was too obvious. He gritted his teeth and said word by word, "Let her go."
Lu Yihan really didn't intend to provoke Qin Fangang when he came in today. He was even willing to take out the divorce papers. He really wanted to help this woman. Although this thought made him feel too cowardly, when he faced her, he also felt that he had no right to endlessly pester her.
However, he was a man at the end of the day. At the same time, he was a proud man.
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