Caught off guard, Gu Mang didn't even have time to steady himself before he fell into the depths of the hot spring. He drank several mouthfuls of spring water before he was lifted by Mo Xi single-handedly and pressed against the side of the hot spring.
Mo Xi reached out to remove the ribbon from Gu Mang's forehead. For some reason, this action evoked great fear in Gu Mang's heart. He began to struggle violently. His ceremonial robes were completely soaked. Under Mo Xi, he was like a trapped beast or a dying fish.
"No … don't … don't …"
In the depths of his memory, there seemed to be someone who wanted to take this away from him with such hatred. However, Gu Mang couldn't remember who it was. He couldn't even tell if this was his illusion or something that had really happened.
He only felt a pain in his heart.
He only vaguely knew that this ribbon was his … what he deserved … what he longed for, what he wanted, but could only look at from afar …
"Give it back to me."
"No … don't!"
The two men actually fought in the hot spring for this thing. The water in the hot spring swayed and the moonlight danced chaotically. In a hurry, Gu Mang actually bit the back of Mo Xi's hand!
His spiritual nucleus was broken, his spiritual energy was gone, his body was riddled with scars and scars. He was no longer as strong as he used to be. He couldn't compare to Mo Xi who had always been carefully nurtured.
Now, Brother Gu Mang no longer had any ability to compete with his Junior Brother Mo.
He was forced to the end and could only choose such a ridiculous and absurd beastly act.
To protect his obsession that couldn't be fulfilled even if he died.
Mo Xi was really angered. In his heart, this was a taboo that he absolutely couldn't touch — he could tolerate Gu Mang stabbing him and betraying him, but this was his father's legacy.
It was the last thing his father, who had died in battle under the Burning Man Cavalry in order to protect the people of Chong Hua from the Ruins.
How could Gu Mang be worthy!
Gu Mang bit him viciously. The back of his hand was bitten and blood flowed out. However, Mo Xi did not feel the slightest bit of pain. The blood that flowed out seemed to have returned to his eye sockets, becoming blood vessels that crisscrossed the sides of his eyes … He did not care. He fiercely pulled his hand out of Gu Mang's mouth, snatched the ribbon, and then fiercely slapped Gu Mang across the face!
"Pa!" A crisp sound rang out. This slap was heavy and ruthless, as if it wanted to pay off all the hatred of the past seven years with this slap. After the slap, Mo Xi felt a burning pain in his palm. His fingertips were trembling slightly due to his intense emotions.
There was hatred in his eyes, but as the mist rose, the bottom of his eyes became wet.
Mo Xi's Adam's apple bobbed as he forced himself to open his mouth. For the first time, his lips moved but no sound came out. He closed his eyes and paused for a while before speaking again.
But his voice was already unbelievably hoarse.
He said hoarsely, "… Gu Mang. Do you know how dirty you are! "
Gu Mang's face was turned to the side. His ears were buzzing from the slap, but he did not make a sound. His cheeks were swollen and the corners of his lips were still stained with the blood from when he had bitten Mo Xi. He actually did not quite understand what Mo Xi was saying.
He only felt a faint pain in his heart.
It seemed that many years ago, he had always been afraid of hearing these words from this man in front of him.
Do you know how dirty you are?
Do you know what you are?
How are you worthy?
— — It was as if he had always been prepared for Mo Xi to say these words to him. Even though his memory had been stolen, his instinctive defense and the stinging pain caused by it were still there.
Mo Xi took a deep breath, loosened his grip on Gu Mang's hand, and said in a low voice, "Get out. I don't want to see you again. "
The silk belt was pulled down, and there was still a funny red mark on his forehead. Gu Mang moved his lips, trying to say something, but in the end, he could not say anything. He only looked at Mo Xi silently with red eyes, and climbed to the side of the pool, battered and exhausted.
Yes, he had never been able to compete with him … he had never been able to compete with anyone.
It was rare for him to want something, but he was treated like this.
Before leaving the hot spring villa, Gu Mang turned back to look at Mo Xi, who was holding the blue and gold silk belt, and said in a low voice, "I'm … sorry. But … "
But I really feel that this thing is very important to me.
I really …
Mo Xi did not turn back, and said in a hoarse voice, "Get out."
"…" Gu Mang knew that there was nothing more to say. He bit his blood-stained lips, lowered his head, and slowly walked out of the courtyard.
When Li Wei saw Gu Mang appear in the Ming Hall, he was so shocked that he could not even speak. Butler Li could not be blamed for being ignorant. He really did not know what had happened to make Gu Mang wear a priest's robe and walk slowly in the cold winter night.
Like a wandering soul.
Like a wild ghost that had survived in the world.
"Gu Mang … Hey, Gu Mang!"
He called out to him, but when Gu Mang heard his voice, he only paused for a moment, and then continued to walk with his head down to his little nest.
Li Wei quickly went over to pull him back, "What are you doing? Why are you wearing the priest's robe? Do you know how important this robe is? Do you know … "
"I know. Dao. " Gu Mang finally opened his mouth. His brain was damaged. Once he was sad, he couldn't form a coherent sentence. He couldn't express himself at all. He tried his best to express himself, but all he could do was squeeze out some choppy words from between his teeth. It seemed so laughable, so stupid.
"… I … can … understand. I will try … to … understand … "
The winter night was too cold. His soaked clothes stuck to his body, and when the wind blew, it was bone-chilling. He did not know how long he had been walking barefoot for, but when he raised his face to look at Li Wei, his lips were pale and trembling.
"I … want to understand … I want to remember …" Gu Mang painfully covered his head, "But I can't … I don't know where I went wrong … I kept going wrong … I kept going wrong … That's why you … are treating me like this …"
Li Wei was stunned.
What, what was going on …
Why was there a red mark on his face, blood between his lips and teeth, and still talking like this …
Li Wei quivered and said involuntarily, "I told you to take a bath, did you run to the hot spring behind to take a bath?!"
Gu Mang did not say anything, and his lips were tightly pursed.
"Are you crazy?! That is the place where the Lord takes a bath. Didn't I tell you that he is obsessed with cleanliness? Do you know what your identity is? Do you know how much you — "
Gu Mang seemed to be afraid to hear the word from someone else's mouth again, and suddenly shivered. He grabbed Li Wei's hand and interrupted Li Wei. Gu Mang trembled. He tried to keep a straight face, like an alpha wolf trying to regain his dignity in a bloody defeat.
But when he blinked his blue eyes, there were tears in them.
Gu Mang trembled, "Yes … I know. I am dirty. In the future, I won't meet again. But … "His eyes hesitated, and his eyelashes fluttered. Suddenly, he choked.
He did not even know why he was so sad.
He suddenly squatted down and curled up into a small ball. After so many years, he had won, lost, been loyal, and betrayed, but he still could not change his lowly nature. Other than a body full of scars and a world full of crimes, he still had nothing. He would still suffer the most painful humiliation if he even touched the ribbon that symbolized the blood of the martyrs.
He buried himself in the dust, and his neck was so deep, as if he was crushed by something that he had forgotten.
Gu Mang choked, "You don't understand, you don't understand … I should have … I should have …"
Li Wei was completely at a loss. Although he was a bit of a gossip and had a bad mouth, his heart had always been warm. He did not have any direct hatred with Gu Mang. So when he saw this miserable man curl up in front of him and suddenly cry, he did not know what to say.
His hands and feet were uneasy for a long time, and he could not help but ask Gu Mang, "What should you have?"
But Gu Mang could not explain it clearly.
That ribbon, what it meant, what it symbolized, he did not remember.
He also knew that it was Mo Xi's possession, but he did not understand why he was in such pain.
"What is yours?" Li Wei said helplessly, "Every blade of grass and every tree in Xi He's residence belongs to the master. Even me, even you, we all belong to the master. What can you and I have? "
He sighed and patted Gu Mang's shoulder, "Get up, quickly go and change out of these clothes. If other people see you wearing the ceremonial robe of a first rank official, Xi He's residence will be in trouble with you. "
Gu Mang returned to the 'nest' he made with a tattered mattress, an old table, and a chair. He did not have any obsession with the cold clothes on his body. He went in and took off all his clothes, changed into his only wrinkled cotton robe, and returned the ceremonial robe to Li Wei.
Li Wei took the clothes, and originally wanted to say a few more words to him, but seeing him like this, he felt that he really did not know what to say. He could only sigh, turn around and leave. As he walked, he muttered, "Fortunately, there are two sets of ceremonial robes … otherwise, I would have caused trouble …"
Gu Mang sat down in the dark room. Dinnerbag woke up, and the big black dog came over. As if it could smell his sadness, it used its warm head to nudge him, whining, and licked his cheek.
Gu Mang hugged it, and said in a low voice, "You don't think I'm dirty. Am I right? "
Dinnerbag wagged its tail, and put its paws on his leg.
Gu Mang opened his eyes in the dark night. This was the first time he felt 'unwilling' and 'painful' since he became conscious. But he did not know what was going on with these two feelings. He felt that they made him very uncomfortable, as if he was sick. It was a pain that was worse than being whipped.
Gu Mang closed his eyes, touched Dinnerbag's head, and said in a low voice, "Dinnerbag, I don't think you're dirty."
"Woo woo woo!"
"We're brothers, and we have food here." Gu Mang rubbed its cool and moist little nose, "So it hurts a little. I can endure it. It's okay. "
"Woo woo!"
Gu Mang pressed his hand to his chest, and choked, "It's okay, this little pain, I can endure it … I can endure it …"
Once you get used to it, it won't hurt anymore.
Endure it, and it will all be over … it will all be over.
Early the next morning, Mo Xi pushed the door open and came out of the bedroom.
He had already changed into the ceremonial robe. Every year, the people in the residence looked forward to this day. They felt that Lord Xi He looked especially handsome and spirited when he wore a ceremonial robe.
But this year, when he came to the hall, the servants who were waiting there were slightly startled when they saw him.
Lord Xi He obviously did not sleep the whole night. His expression was very bad, and there was even a slight hint of youthfulness in his eyes. He sat at the table. Li Wei had already prepared the dishes. As usual, he did not want to be extravagant. There were two steamers of three delicacies soup dumplings, a bowl of casserole fish porridge, a plate of sweet and sour crispy fish, pickled radish in vinegar, cold pickled fern in sesame oil, crystal tofu, and a plate of colorful snacks.
Mo Xi sat at the table for a while, and did not eat.
Li Wei asked tentatively, "Lord?"
Mo Xi glanced at the empty seat opposite him, and did not say anything. After a while, he scooped a bowl of porridge and ate it silently.
The water on the side table was dripping. Mo Xi ate a little, and then stopped eating, as if his appetite was not very good. He looked up at Li Wei and said, "It's about time. We need to go to the East City Gate and prepare to leave. You … "He paused, and then said stiffly," Call him out and let him go with the honor guard of Xi He's residence. I'll go first. "
Li Wei agreed, but in his heart, he thought that Gu Mang must have done something yesterday that angered Lord, and it angered him greatly. According to Lord's original intention, he wanted to give the position of personal guard to Gu Mang, so that he could keep an eye on him at all times.
But now, Mo Xi did not seem to care, and did not want to see Gu Mang that much. He was casually thrown into the honor guard, as long as he did not cause trouble under Lord Xi's nose.
Could he be so angry just because he entered a hot spring?
Li Wei's heart was beating like a drum, but he did not dare to guess. He was a smart person, and he knew very well that there were some things that would be more painful to know than not.
Curiosity was not the most unbearable thing in the world.
Keeping secrets was.
Li Wei held the mentality that he was willing to be a fool, and threw these inexplicable wild and fanciful thoughts to the back of his mind. He went to the rear courtyard as ordered, and called Gu Mang out of his "nest".
Gu Mang listened to his arrangements, and did not have any reaction to new problems. Being mentally handicapped also had its benefits. After a night, he had calmed down a lot. When he heard Li Wei tell him to go with the honor guard, he did so without any objections.
However, Li Wei was not at ease. After he led him to the guard, he gave a few instructions to the guard captain, and then handed the decoction flask to the guard captain. He reminded him, "This is the calming medicine prescribed by Pharmacist Jiang. I reckon that Lord will watch him drink it, but that may not be the case. In any case, you are in charge. If Gu Mang does not drink it, force it down his throat. This thing is not a joke. "
The guard captain agreed, and took the flask.
The group then set off.
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