Chapter 1439
Words:1010Update:22/07/25 19:53:20
I don't understand what it means to be just right, I just don't want to let down or be let down. I won't retreat when it's time to hug and I definitely won't cry when it's time to laugh. — — An Yu Sheng
I have been a very rebellious person since I was young. Before my big brother died for me, I hated him a bit.
Or it couldn't be said 'a bit', it should be said that I hated him a lot.
He seemed to have the aura of a main character since he was born, directly grabbing the model of a house when drawing lots.
As for me ….. I grabbed a small knife.
It was probably from that day onwards that my big brother and I had different paths of fate.
He was destined to be a dazzling man and I was destined to be nothing.
There were many people who gave him love letters in school, although there were quite a few who gave me.
But he was different from me. He was the perfect student in the eyes of the teachers and the perfect male god in the eyes of the girls.
As for me, I was just handsome and a bit like a ruffian.
I liked hearing the sound of a knife cutting through skin until it entered my veins, giving me the pleasure of a 'ding'.
It was like no one in this world could understand me. They all thought that I was rebellious, unreasonable, and arrogant.
Only big brother understood me. He knew that I just wanted to be valued by my parents.
Even if they didn't value me, just taking a look ….. was good.
But it was a pity that they never looked at me.
They even let me stay out all night when I wasn't even ten years old and they never sent anyone to find me.
I seemed to be the shame of the An Family, a bloodline that they weren't willing to acknowledge.
Until — —
Big brother's death made them see my existence.
Even though the things they said in the first few months were still as unpleasant as ever.
For example — —
"Why didn't you die?"
"Why didn't you go to hell instead of your big brother!
"What meaning is there in you living, you should also die!"
"Die, die, at least your big brother won't be alone."
… …
These sobbing and resolute words were in my ears day and night, and no one knew that I was sadder than any of them.
Because An Liang Sheng was the only person in this world who loved me.
The toys I didn't get, the love I didn't get.
He used his identity as a big brother to make up for the gap in my life.
I loved everything about him, but at the same time, I loved everything about him.
His death proved that there was no one in this world who loved me anymore.
At that time, I didn't even know the meaning of my life, but … the words he said to me before he died were branded in my mind.
"Ah Sheng, you have to live on … live on … for me …"
The name 'Ah Sheng' is the nickname he likes to call me.
At that time, his parents would always call me by my full name.
The words' An Yu Sheng 'have become the rhyme that I hate the most.
But even so, even if there is no hope for me to live on in this world, I must live on.
For my big brother, for the other An Liang Sheng to be able to live in this world, I will do my best to live.
Moreover, he had to live well.
In just half a year, I went from being violent and unreasonable to being gentle and sensible. My grades went from last place to first place in the entire year.
I have to say, at least in terms of studying, I have a certain degree of genius physique.
It was just like how some people were suited for running, some for swimming, and some for playing musical instruments.
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