Yu Shu slept in the female dormitory for half a day. When she woke up in the afternoon, it started raining again. The stuffy heat of the previous day was swept away, and the air was cool.
After closing the doors and windows, she left Taishi Library with an umbrella. Yesterday, she told Liu Zhong that she did not need to pick her up. At this time, there was no sedan chair to hire on the street. Walking on the wet street, the anxiety in her heart dissipated step by step.
The more one was in prison, the more one could not panic. Being in the situation, Yu Shu spent a night thinking about what she should do next to get rid of the responsibility and danger brought by the new identity of "Life Breaker".
At first glance, she only had two ways to go. The first way was to resign to fate and obediently marry Jing Chen and have children, becoming a stone brick for the prosperity of the Da 'an Dynasty. Then, she would live a seemingly harmonious life with a man she resented. When the day came for her to retire, she would let others decide whether she would continue to be rich and powerful, or become a good lackey. When all the birds were gone and the cunning rabbit was dead, she would be cooked or hidden.
The second way was to refuse to comply with the feudal superstition and arranged marriage. Then, she would be regarded as refusing a toast only to be forced to drink a forfeit. They would then tie her up and force her to marry Jing Chen. From then on, she would live a life of imprisonment. Until Jing Chen lost his life, what awaited her was either to be silenced or to continue to be imprisoned.
In other words, with the title "Life Breaker" on her head, whether she cooperated or not, the rest of her life was destined to be a tragedy.
"Jing Chen, ah, Jing Chen, have you ever stood in my position and thought that this Life Breaker is actually a person who is seeking death." Yu Shu walked alone on the road, and the sound of the rain covered her words.
"The Great Calamity, your life is tied to the rise and fall of a dynasty. Knowing such a huge secret, when I'm no longer of use, will they let me live? At that time, if they find a dignified reason to have you personally kill me, I'm afraid you'll do it."
To put it bluntly, Jing Chen was like a treasure that could shake the foundation of a country, and she was the key to the door of the treasure. Without her, this treasure could not be opened. However, when someone opened the door with the key and took the treasure out, the treasure would still be a treasure, and she, the key, would become a waste.
Yu Shu clenched the handle of the umbrella, and her face became colder. She raised her eyes and quickly glanced around.
If she remembered correctly, the passerby in a gray robe on the opposite side of the street had been following her from the gate of Taishi Library. There was also the hawker who was pushing his cart home not far away. He had not left her sight.
Before yesterday, she would not have paid attention to these details. Now, it seemed that someone was secretly watching her, in case she had an accident before Jing Chen lost his life.
Yu Shu's eyes flashed, and a sneer appeared at the corner of her mouth. It took her a night to confirm this important point.
Before the treasure was opened, she could not lose this key.
The wonderful thing was that in the current situation, there was a group of people with bad intentions secretly watching Jing Chen, the Da 'an Disaster, and they wanted to ruin it. In order to kill these rebels, the ruler of the country would temporarily hide her, the key. First, they would not use it, and second, they would protect her well.
In other words, now she was supported by the Emperor!
There were advantages and disadvantages, and blessings and misfortunes were interdependent. Yu Shu knew the trump card in her hand. If she wanted to break out of the situation, she had to first find out what the problem was, and then she could take the right medicine.
What she could do now was to find out the secret behind Jing Chen, the troublemaker, by taking advantage of the situation.
It sounded incredible that a person's life could decide the fate of the country. The Da 'an Disaster, the person who broke one's life, and the absurd way to break it. Where did these words come from, and how could the ruler of the country believe it!?
She thought about it all night, and this was the problem.
From the north of the city to the south, Yu Shu walked a long way. An umbrella could not block the wind and rain. When she returned home in the evening, half of her body was wet.
Yun Dou moved a small stool and sat under the door to wait. Seeing her drenched appearance, she hurriedly shook off the cloak in her hands and went forward to wrap her up. She held up the umbrella and pushed her to the backyard.
"Liu Zhong went out to pick up the girl. Didn't you see him? Why did you come back in the rain? Quickly go inside, what if you catch a cold …"
When Yu Shu heard the little maidservant's muttering, she didn't find her annoying. Instead, she cooperated and entered the house. She took off her wet clothes and climbed onto the bed. She covered herself with a thin blanket and quietly watched as the maidservant busied herself in front of her. One moment, she brought hot water for her, and the next moment, she used a towel to dry her hair.
When Zhao Hui heard that Yu Shu came back wet, she left He Xiaochuan with the wet nurse and had Madam Chen instruct the kitchen to cook some hot soup. She crossed the courtyard to Yu Shu's room and saw her lying on the bed in a daze. She hurriedly walked to her side and touched her wet hair.
"Why are you drenched like this? Didn't I call Liu Zhong to pick you up? You are also a child. Seeing that the rain is getting heavier, you can't find a place to hide and come back when the rain is lighter. You must have caught a cold. Look at how white your little face is."
Zhao Hui used her hands to hold her ice-cold face. She sensitively sensed that this child had something on her mind. Just as she was wondering what had happened, Yu Shu hugged her waist and buried her head in her embrace.
"Mother."
When Zhao Hui heard her muffled voice, she was stunned for a moment. She hugged her back and responded with an "ai". She felt a bit sour and uncomfortable in her heart. She thought that this child was naturally strong-willed. As a girl, she had been supporting the facade outside and had never complained about being tired or bitter. How much grievance must she have suffered for her to be willing to show a bit of weakness in front of her?
Yu Shu hugged Zhao Hui and smelled the milky fragrance on her body. She absentmindedly thought of her previous life —
When she was a child, she couldn't remember clearly. But when she grew up and had her own opinions, it seemed that she had never been so intimate with her parents. Instead, she always saw her younger brother acting like a spoiled child to her parents, crying and being comforted in her mother's arms. Later, the person who took care of and comforted her younger brother became her.
"Xiao Yu ah," Zhao Hui patted her back and said softly, "If you have encountered something sad, tell Mother. Mother can't help you solve your problems, but at least I can listen to your heart."
Yu Shu breathed in the strong smell of her mother on Zhao Hui's body. Although it was a bit more comforting, she couldn't help but want to pour out her heart. But she didn't forget the severity of Jing Chen's matter. If it was leaked, whoever heard it would be harmed.
"I just feel bad in my heart, that's all," She raised her head from Zhao Hui's arms, "I want to eat the small wonton stew you cooked, is that okay?"
When Zhao Hui heard that she wanted to eat it, how could she not agree? She immediately said yes, "There is still raw meat in the kitchen. I just made some chicken soup at noon. I will go to the kitchen to make the stuffing."
After saying that, she let go of her and quickly went to the kitchen to prepare.
Yu Shu slept for a day and walked all the way. Her stomach was already growling, but she didn't have much of an appetite. She wrapped herself in the quilt and lay on the bed in a daze. Yun Dou came in from outside and gently called her a few times. She didn't respond, thinking that she was asleep. When she walked closer, she found that her eyes were open.
"… Miss, Miss?"
Yu Shu listlessly turned her eyes: "Hmm?"
Yun Dou picked up the clothes at the head of the bed and said to her: "Mr Xue is here. Quickly put on your clothes and get up. I don't know what it is."
Yu Shu suddenly sat up and looked at the sky outside the window. It was clearly still raining outside. She didn't expect Xue Rui to come at this time. She was happy and worried at the same time. Happy because she wanted to see him at this time, worried because she didn't know what to say when she saw him.
"Where are my shoes?" Yu Shu turned over and got off the bed. No matter what, she couldn't hide from him.
Yun Dou brought a clean dress for her to change into. Because her hair was still wet, she tied it into a bun at the back of her head and used a long pearl hairpin to twist it. Half of her long hair hung down to her waist. Dressed in plain clothes, she went to the front to meet the guest.
Entering under the eaves, Yun Dou closed the umbrella. Yu Shu lifted the hem of her dress and put it down. When she looked up, she saw the room was brightly lit. Xue Rui was sitting in the light, holding a cup of tea in his hand. He was wearing a round neck robe made of willow satin, which made his figure look tall and slender. His black hair was neatly tied at the back of his head, revealing his square forehead. A pair of bright peach blossom eyes stared at her from the moment she walked out of the door.
Probably because it was dark and there was no one else around, his gaze was not reserved. Yu Shu's eyes flickered a little. She turned her head and called Yun Dou to guard the corridor, then walked in.
"It's raining, why did you come here?"
It had been another three or four days since their last small gathering at Wang Ji Lou.
"The documents of the Judicial Office have been sorted out and submitted in the afternoon. I returned to the fu," Xue Rui paused and looked at Yu Shu sitting down opposite him. He lowered his voice and said,
"I missed you, so I came."
The two of them had an intimate moment on the rooftop that night, and both Xue Rui and Yu Shu felt that they had taken a step closer to each other from the bottom of their hearts. There was a saying that a day apart felt like three years.
When Yu Shu heard Xue Rui's straightforward words of love, it would be a lie to say that she was not happy. She had just discovered not long ago that Xue Rui, who was smooth and sophisticated in dealing with people, was quite frank in terms of feelings. For example, now, if he missed her, he would come to see her. He did not mind telling her. He would not put on an act and deliberately put on a high profile in front of her.
Looking at Xue Rui like this, how could Yu Shu not be angry at the identity of the person who broke her life? She had to let go of such a considerate and tactful man to marry and have children with an enemy. Wasn't this digging out her heart?
"Big Brother, have you eaten dinner?" Yu Shu opened her mouth and asked dryly.
She really did not think about whether she should tell Xue Rui about Jing Chen.
To be honest, she was a little timid. She did not have much confidence. If Xue Rui knew that there was such a big mountain on top of her head, and if he wanted to achieve good things with her, he would have to go against the Emperor and even abandon the peace and prosperity, would he still choose to stand with her?
It was not her fault that she was not confident. In her opinion, how much you gave, how much you could get. She had been extremely benevolent to Jing Chen. They had been through life and death together. That person could use her to achieve righteousness. What about Xue Rui? What had she done for Xue Rui?
When she looked back and thought about it, it had always been Xue Rui who had been helping her all along, and he'd done a great deal for her in silence. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that he was always at her beck and call, yet before she had the chance to treat him well, such a mishap had occurred.
Last night, she asked Jing Chen if he was worth her to break her life for him. Today, she also wanted to ask herself, was she worth Xue Rui taking the risk to go against the court for her?
She actually had an answer in her heart.
Yu Shu's eyes turned gray. Her heart was sour and bitter, but she also felt helpless. Why did she feel that Xue Rui should bear the crime of treason with her for her own selfishness? If she also put Xue Rui in a dilemma, what was the difference between it and what Jing Chen had done to her?
"Shu, why don't you say anything? Are you tired? "
"Oh, I stayed up late last night and watched the stars in the Taishi Shuyuan. I didn't sleep well during the day." Yu Shu pretended to rub her eyes to prevent him from seeing any clues. Then she said,
"Godmother cooked wontons herself. Stay and eat with us."
Xue Rui said with a smile, "I still remember Aunt Huei's wonton noodles. At that time in Yiyang City, I brought you to try it."
"Yes, I also remember, at that time …"
Xue Rui changed the topic and looked at Yu Shu, who was chattering endlessly. Doubt flashed in his eyes. Seeing that she was a little strange today, it seemed that she had encountered something difficult, but it was not convenient to tell him.
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