There was a hint of anger on the girl's delicate face. Beneath her sharp eyebrows were a pair of eyes brimming with heroic spirit. Those sapphire-like eyes and baby-like pink skin were the most perfect match. Just looking at her picturesque scenery was enough to calm one's heart.
She was only twelve or thirteen years old, and she didn't have any obvious curves. Her long ponytail added some masculinity to her appearance. She stood tall and had strong legs, as if she had truly received combat training. Her military aura made her seem much less weak than she appeared to be.
She wore pink armor, and her longsword was covered in gems and patterns. It was obvious that it was expensive, but it was so exquisite that it was a work of art. It was obviously unsuitable for use on the battlefield. She also had two incongruous battle flags on her back. She was currently wearing extravagant clothing, but she was pouting with dissatisfaction.
"Haha, Roland, this really suits you. Beautiful Princess Peach. Hahaha! "
"You're the same. This dress really suits you. I'm the maid Yanini. "
Adam was currently wearing a black-and-white maid outfit with a blonde wig. The maid outfit's skirt seemed to cover his thick legs, but it was impossible to completely hide his bulky appearance. His shoddily made heavy makeup made him look even uglier.
After exchanging insults, Adam and I angrily glared at each other. He took out his broom, while I took out my decorative rapier. Just as we were about to explode with our accumulated dissatisfaction and start fighting, an angry voice spoke up from behind us.
"You're about to go on stage. Since you've ruined your costumes, you should use your real names to perform."
The two of us exchanged glances with wry smiles on our faces. We were both unlucky fellows who were being held on fire, so what was the point of fighting? Was there any meaning to the pot calling the kettle black?
"At the very least, I'm stronger than you. Anyone can tell that I'm a man's prank just by looking at me."
Alright then, it seemed that some people still found it interesting. Even though he was wearing a maid outfit and lipstick, he was still flexing his muscles to show off his so-called manliness.
"Yep, be careful not to get recognized. That'll be even more interesting. Tomorrow's headline will be 'Shocking: Red Lotus Hero Has Transvestism!' "
"Then let's die together! I'll tell everyone that the main character of 'Princess Peach's Dimensional Adventure' is you, Roland! "
"Heh, do you think anyone will believe you?"
"Ha, do you think anyone will believe me?"
When I looked in the mirror earlier, I was frightened by the beauty in the mirror. But now that I said that, my heart was bleeding.
In front of him was the plaza outside the Diffindor Grand Theater. In order to welcome the Day of Peace Celebration, the royal family would be holding a large-scale fantasy play "Princess Peach's Dimensional Adventure" here. Any citizen could watch it for free, and this was a great temptation to the locals who lacked entertainment. In just a short three or four hours, the plaza was filled with spectators.
Alright, I'll tell you the truth. Due to some reason, we accidentally angered everyone. In the end, in order to appease some people, we were forced to change into our costumes and become the main characters of this show. We were even the female leads …
"Why am I the female lead, and this guy is just a background character! He doesn't even have any lines. The difference in treatment is too obvious. "
"That's because we're punishing him, not punishing the audience. Just look at him … As for you, that's because you're always the main culprit. Also, don't think that nobody knows about what happened in the Earth Elemental Plane. Did you think that not going home for a few days would make me slowly cool down? Do your best, or else … Heh heh, you understand. "
Eliza's cold laughter echoed in my ears. What was even more malicious was that she was the one who wrote this play. Perhaps she had already made preparations for revenge. In fact, she was even despicable enough to take hostages.
"Oh! No! Please let those children go! They're innocent! "
"It all depends on your performance. Hmph, I really don't understand why men would like such things. They're clearly all fake … "
"No, they're not fake products. They're true art. They're perfect art that originates from life and surpasses reality. They're treasures that countless men can only dream of. Do you know how much effort I put into obtaining them? They're the result of over a hundred years of my savings, the painstaking efforts of countless masters from different eras. They're the only treasures of art in the world!"
Adam also had an expression of astonishment upon hearing this.
"… No wonder they look so familiar. Last time, you shared with me 'The Lecherous Count and his 36 Concubines.' Could it be the masterpiece of a classical landscape painter from 170 years ago? His style was too unique. He even painted human figures? And it's even a comic strip! "
"You're the best. Back then, I helped him get rid of the bandits that threatened him. It took me more than two months. Seeing my efforts, he agreed to make an exception for me. How about it? Isn't it great? "
"It's more than great! He's practically invincible! I really didn't expect that the thick ink artistic conception of a landscape painting would have such a good effect on a beauty. He actually used a flat surface to create the effect of a real person. It's so lifelike! Marguerite is his loyal fan. She even has two treasures at home. If she knows that you actually asked the master to draw these … For the sake of these children, you absolutely can't let her know! "
"Hmph, art is supposed to serve real life. It's a disease to say that one's work is superior to others. It's obvious that no one likes your work that's detached from real life. Yet, you still scold the audience for their poor appreciation. If it's not a bug in your head, then what is it? "
"I keep feeling like you're ridiculing something again … Don't tell me that's how you got all your top quality works?"
"Of course. Every one of them is a super treasure that has withstood the test of time. They're the crystallization of those masters' lifelong talents. They're all the blood pressure that I've spent countless amounts of effort on. "
"Roland, you're a real man!"
I ignored Adam, who was making a big fuss over nothing. I looked towards Eliza in a fawning manner, hoping that she would let me off the hook after seeing that these were all unredeemable works of art.
"Please let these children go. They're existences even more important than my life. If you want anything, just come at me."
However, the demon girl smiled. Her smile was both sweet and cold.
"… Artwork? Existences even more important than your life? You really deserve to be single for the rest of your life. "
And then, Eliza angrily turned around and left, leaving only her threat behind.
"You want those things back? Sure, it'll all depend on your performance later. This is a script that I wrote especially for you. Enjoy it. "
"That year, Demon King Shaba from Demon Island led his demon army to conquer the world. Our hero, Princess Peach, resolved to chase away the demon king and set out on a journey by herself …"
Even though my heart was filled with anxiety, the narration on stage and the audience's applause were reminding me that it was time for me to go on stage.
I reviewed my script one last time. This seemed to be a magically modified version of the "Momotaro Legend." This was the fairy tale that I had told Eliza the most when she was young. The script wasn't particularly out of place. It was unlikely that anyone would intentionally destroy their own childhood. I relaxed slightly when I thought of this.
"Wow, such a beautiful little girl!"
"… She looks a bit like Princess Renée, but she's younger than her. Is she a distant relative of hers?"
I took a deep breath and ignored the distractions before me as I drew my decorative sword and read out the script that I had prepared beforehand.
"Sigh, Demon King Shaba is far too powerful. It's impossible for me to defeat him by myself. Are there no other brave warriors willing to help me?"
"… As long as you give me a colored flag, I'm willing to become your subordinate and fight together with you against the demon king!"
According to the script's development, Princess Peach would first gather a monkey, a dog, and a chicken as her subordinates. It would seem that Eliza hadn't done anything rash yet. This was probably the first "monkey" to appear.
I sighed as I looked in the direction of the voice.
"Pffft!"
It was a tall figure that blocked out the sunlight above my head. I could only see his golden muscles that were glistening with a glossy sheen.
This was a super muscular man wearing nothing but a thong. He was performing all sorts of bodybuilding moves, and his glistening muscles were covered in sweat under the sunlight. It made me feel hot just looking at him. Not only that, his handsome face was flushed red.
"Omar, Omar, Omar, I'm so happy to be able to act together with my father!"
The burly and handsome man kept roaring in excitement. His muscles were even twitching in disgust. I silently took two steps back and drew my sword again.
"Heehee."
That's right, this person before me was definitely a pervert. He was the person with the highest authority in the Xiluo Empire. I had indeed invited him to participate in the celebration, but I didn't expect that he would give me such a "surprise" as soon as he arrived.
Omar had a monkey tail on the back of his pants, and he was wearing a strange hat with monkey ears. It would seem that he was the "Monkey General" in this scene.
"Ahh! What's that!? "
"Mommy, there's a superman!"
"Baby, be good. Don't point at him. He's not a superman, he's a pervert. If you meet him on the streets in the future, remember to call him Town Security. "
"… I'm blind! As expected, there's no good stuff for free? Is it too late to retreat now? "
Just Omar's appearance on the stage, just the huge contrast between his handsome face and his muscular face caused the audience to wail in agony.
I pretty much understood now. Perhaps the plot was normal, and the lines were normal as well. But if the actors were gentlemen, then this scene was completely outside of common sense from the very start.
But it was impossible to back down now, so I could only blindly continue acting.
That was why I wasn't surprised at all when I saw a large Druil with wings and a beak several minutes later.
"Is he a divine chicken flying? Alright, at least he remembered to wear clothes. That's an improvement. "
"No, Father, take a closer look. His' clothes' and 'pants' are all feathers. He made them himself. As expected of Ah Ying, he's actually completely naked on stage, and it's so naturally accepted by everyone. As expected of the Wild Bull Faction's super artistic master!"
I could now understand how different people's views on art could be, as well as Eliza's feelings after hearing what I just said.
Helplessly, I followed the plot's requirements and took off my shirt and tossed it to this "chicken," before we continued on our journey to defeat the demon king.
"Princess Peach gathered her two companions and began a fierce battle against the demons. However, just the three of them weren't strong enough. And just as they were feeling the most troubled, she met her most loyal retainer in a small village …"
I nodded. Since there was a chicken and a monkey, the only thing left was a dog. I hoped that the person acting as the "loyal dog Hachiro" wouldn't be too ridiculous.
"… The Bull Demon King from another world!"
* Pffft! *
It seemed that I had underestimated a certain person's desire for revenge. My expression of resolution welcomed an even more ridiculous development. The highest-ranking bishop of the Church of Law wore a bronze mask and appeared on stage. He looked exactly the same as the other two bishops. Fortunately, he remembered to wear briefs.
"Bang!"
Three pairs of large hands clasped together, and three pairs of large eyes seemed to be burning. However, all I could see was a pair of shiny muscles.
"Brothers!"
"Brothers!"
"Muscles!"
The Three Brothers Under the Moon … the three brothers formed a bond at this moment. The flames of friendship ignited between the three of them, and the sweat that flowed from their bodies carried the scent of youth. The people below were already screaming in despair as they fled for their lives. Who would be willing to watch such a scene where they had to risk their lives? At this point, everyone knew that the following development would be fatal.
"Cough, cough."
I did my best to suppress the urge to vomit blood. Since I had already acted to such a degree, no matter how ridiculous it was, I might as well finish the act.
"Muscle Explosion!"
A certain muscular man jumped up and used his chest muscles to explode the pitiful Minor Knight (a royal Knight who made a cameo appearance).
"Bull Demon Embrace!"
A certain naked mad bull hugged the two pitiful Minor Role B and Minor Role C. The two of them were about to suffocate and looked at me for help. However, right now, I only wanted to hide in a corner of the stage and tremble.
"Feather Projection!"
This "Divine Chicken Feifei" who had thrown his own feather at his opponent was once again partially naked. He laughed even more happily. His opponent, on the other hand, had happily rolled off the stage. As soon as he got off the stage, he began to celebrate his successful escape.
With the Three Gentlemen Under the Moon taking action, all ghosts and demons would be instantly killed. The only side effect was …
"My ghost brothers are so pitiful …"
"These three perverts are too strong. Oh, so disgusting."
"Commander D, hurry up and surrender. You can't blame yourself for not trying hard enough. It's just that your opponents are too ridiculous."
"Bastards! Let go of that ghost! "
Alright then, the audience was actually beginning to sympathize with the evil ghost army. Under the Three Gentlemen's hard work, Princess Peach and her three servants had unknowingly become the evil side.
"Ya … Yanini, your end is here! Ha, did you think that pretending to be an ordinary villager's maid would be able to hide from my piercing eyes? Evil female spy of the ghost army, who are you? "
I angrily roared as I slashed at the corner of the wall. The figure who was doing his best to reduce his presence was pulled out from the background.
* Boom! *
My sword and broom clashed together as we exchanged our mutual hatred.
"I clearly don't have any part in this scene, yet you actually changed your lines? It's enough if you want to die by yourself. Why did you drag me into this? "
"You want to survive by yourself? Don't even think about it! "
Alright then, as "Princess Peach" and "Maid Spy" on the stage began sparring with swordsmanship that they hadn't seen in a long time, and the Chicken, Monkey, and Cow trio continued to bully the pitiful demons, the audience mysteriously heated up.
"What amazing swordsmanship!"
"Although I don't understand it, it seems really powerful and interesting!"
"Good luck! Ghost army, kill those three perverts! "
"Maid, don't lose!"
Amidst the chaos, the plot took a new turn. The main antagonist, the Sabar Tribe's Ghost Prince, appeared. The moment he opened his mouth, the entire world fell silent.
"That's right, as a pacifist, seeing this scene before me really hurts me. Right, I have a plan to resolve all of this … Cute Princess Peach, please marry me. I'll make you happy. As long as we become one family, there'll be no more disputes in this world. "
"Eliza! What are you doing!? "
I felt chills run down my spine as I watched the demon horned Eliza appear in her prince's costume. She bowed and proposed to me.
"I …"
My mind was completely blank. Director, just what should I do with this script?
What should I do next? Should I agree? Or should I start the battle according to the script? Heavens, this wasn't even written in the script.
"No, Princess Peach belongs to me, the necrophilic prince!"
Alright then, the sudden arrival of the pumpkin carriage brought about a new whirlwind. Prince Amelia, who was wearing an evening gown, appeared, causing countless people to exclaim in surprise. And when she also knelt down on one knee and proposed, the black cat on her shoulder was already rolling around in laughter.
"No! Little Sister Peach belongs to me, the Apple Princess! As long as true love exists, so what if we're blood-related sisters!? "
"Renée! You damned brat, why are you here as well!? "
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