"What are you talking about?"
Still groggily asleep, Jiang He took a look at the screen and saw nothing but white, and barked, "Mu Wanqiu, are you crazy? What time is it? Can't you let me sleep? "
He hung up.
He blacklisted her immediately!
Jiang He entered his sweet dreams again.
He slept until he woke up naturally, and only wobbled downstairs after washing up.
Sora stood respectfully at the stairs, curtsied and said sweetly, "Lunch is ready, Master."
Jiang He walked to the dining table, while Sora ran to help him pull out a chair. Only then did she serve the piping hot meal. It was still rice, eggplant over meat, cucumber, and carrot shredded, although there was a corn porridge today.
After a full meal.
Jiang He put down his chopsticks, and Sora promptly walked up to him, wiping the corner of his mouth with a delicate handkerchief.
Jiang He had a look of enjoyment on his face, and inwardly …
He sighed endlessly!
No wonder those tycoons loved to hire maids. So, the taste of enjoyment was so pleasant. In the past, would there be so many different styles when it came to his meals?
A pot of steamed rice would last three days.
Every day, he would be smacking cucumbers …
It would make him want to puke, and most importantly, he would have to wash the dishes after the meal.
"We don't have much food at home. I'll take you to the city to buy some vegetables tonight … let's buy some seeds. We'll plant our own, and we'll be able to pick them as we eat, and it's green and pollution-free."
"Yes, Master."
Sora stood beside him obediently.
Jiang He glanced at her …
Then, he suddenly remembered —
"By the way, who was the one who called me last night?"
"Mu Wanqiu?"
"What did she say … was small?"
Rubbing his temples, Jiang He seemed to understand what that white patch was. But why would she call me if you're small?
Realizing that, Jiang He exclaimed in surprise, "Could it be the eggplant?"
"Reducing swelling and stopping bleeding … does that count as swelling?"
Jiang He promptly broke out in cold sweat, and quickly took off his pants for a look. Only then did he breathe a long sigh of relief, saying, "Luckily, the swelling didn't go down … moreover, it's not really swelling, is it?"
How could it be considered swelling since it was naturally huge?
Jiang He glanced at Sora.
She was staring at Jiang He in shock, her eyes wide open.
Calmly pulling up his pants, Jiang He said, "Alright, stop looking. Go wash the pot."
"Yes, Master."
Sora reacted and fled into the kitchen in a panic.
Jiang He was utterly shocked … wasn't that reaction a little too intelligent? This root doesn't look like it was planted. It's no different from a real person, right?
He went to the sofa.
Taking out pen and paper, Jiang He put them on the tea table and began to think about creating a beast-taming manual.
After thinking for a long time, he still couldn't come up with anything.
This thing was too difficult to create, unlike the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms and the Dragon Elephant Prajna Art which could be found on the internet …
"Wait?"
"On the Internet? Making things up? "
Jiang He's eyes lit up then. Whipping out his phone, he opened his browser and typed in 'How do beast keepers tame beasts?' before searching. Still, there was too little information on that subject, and all Jiang He found after half a day was the rather unreliable 'Four Disciplines of Beast Taming'.
The first rule of beast taming:
[Reward an animal if it does what you want it to do. Pretend you don't see it if it does what you don't want it to do.]
Jiang He raised his pen, mused to himself for a while before starting to magically edit the manual!
[Reward a Feral if it does what you want it to do. Beat it to death if it does what you don't want it to do!]
After reciting the first rule of beast taming that he magically edited thrice, Jiang He nodded in satisfaction.
After all …
Unlike animals, Ferals were very aggressive and dangerous. If you pretend you don't see it when it does something wrong, wouldn't you be allowing it to fall into depravity?
"As the saying goes, a good son is born from a bad stick. It's the same when it comes to Ferals — you have to beat it up like a son to make it obedient."
Jiang He then turned to the second rule of beast taming.
Using the Law of Incompatibility, when you train an animal that doesn't want to do something, you can teach it to do something else. If these two things conform to the Law of Incompatibility, then you have achieved your goal.
Jiang He stared at the second rule of beast taming for a long time, only to realize …
"I don't get it, I don't get it. What the hell is this Exclusion Rule? Looks like I have to magically edit it! "
Raising his pen, Jiang He mused to himself for a while before writing, "When a Feral you train doesn't want to do something, you just have to beat it until it does. That way, you would have achieved your objective."
The third rule of beast taming was that it was never the animal's fault.
Heh.
Jiang He felt that the rule was nonsense.
Hence, he raised his pen and wrote, "It is always the Ferals' fault."
The fourth rule of beast taming was that not even the best beast tamer could change an animal's nature. As the saying goes, you can't teach a cat to jump.
？？？
Jiang He snorted.
How could he be called a beast tamer if he couldn't change an animal's nature?
Feeling as if his inspiration was flowing like a fountain, he raised his pen and continued writing, "Only by changing a Feral's nature can one be called a qualified beast tamer. For example, making a cat jump, a sow climb a tree, a tiger eat grass, and a dog not to eat feces."
After he was done writing, Jiang He thought about it and realized that the four rules of beast taming he had written were applicable to Ferals that he had already tamed … they were only meant to make Ferals more obedient.
After all, almost 99% of Ferals were very aggressive.
What would happen if a Feral tried to f * ck you up the moment you met?
Still, there was talk about using bait online …
There was also the 'eagle torment' method that targeted birds.
Still, Jiang He did not agree with those methods. Was there a need to go through so much trouble when it was just taming Ferals?
Lighting a cigarette and thinking about it for a while, Jiang He got an idea and wrote, "When you run into a Feral you want to tame, just beat it until it's half-dead until it's obedient."
Slamming his pen on the table, Jiang He read the beast-taming cultivation manual he had written and nodded in satisfaction, smiling. "Not bad, not bad. I think this method works."
"Oh, right."
"I can't have no name since I've written it, can I?"
The name of the cultivation manual was easy since the simpler the better. After some thought, Jiang He wrote 'Physical Beast Taming' in large letters at the top of the paper.
With the beast-taming manual in hand, Jiang He went to his yard.
A single look.
Dumbo promptly spoke in a Xibei dialect with a Sichuan accent, "Hold on, Master. I'll be done soon."
Hence, it picked up a shovel and dug a small hole in no time.
Jiang He was about to plant the beast-taming manual when he suddenly realized with a start, "Hold on … I've used up the two chances of planting cultivation manuals after my farm reaches level three."
After some thought …
Hence, Jiang He put away the beast-taming manual and thought, "Actually, I don't think it's a problem even if I don't plant it since it's just a beast-taming manual and not a cultivation manual. Since I've created it, why worry about not being able to cultivate it?"
Moreover …
Cultivating this cultivation technique was also very simple.
He just had to find a bunch of tamed beasts and experiment on them one by one.
Even if he was lacking in talent, he would definitely succeed if he killed up to five hundred of them!
That was when Jiang He's phone rang.
It was Mu Wanqiu.
Jiang He smiled in surprise when he answered the call. "Why are you calling, Mu Wanqiu? Haven't you always been in contact with me on WeChat? "
Mu Wanqiu was seething on the other end of the call!
WeChat!
You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
How am I supposed to contact you on WeChat when you've already blacklisted me?
Taking a deep breath to hold back her rage, she said, "Jiang He, I've been sorting through the recent information about Ferals around the Western Xia province. According to the information, a martial artist found a black panther on Mount Helan three days ago, and it's suspected to be a rank-seven Feral."
(Author's Note: Seventh Update! Requesting monthly votes and auto-subscribe!)
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