My name is Anne De Boer.
I've always believed that I'm just an extremely ordinary person — and I'm still that way now.
If I have to say that there's something strange,
Or special, that's because of all my family, friends, and lovers.
Darcy, Georgiana,
Watson, Mary, Mrs. Hudson... of course,
And the man I love so much. It's just because of these people,
That my life is a little more unusual and different.
Yes,
It's them who are different,
It's not me. It's them who have infiltrated and enriched my life.
I can't calculate my age accurately.
There have been three major changes in my life.
The first time was when I was 18 years old,
I was forced to leave my family by a freak combination of circumstances.
Then I lived in another time and space for three years.
The second time was when I was 21 years old,
My most beloved Shylock died in front of me.
This is the most untouchable memory in my mind. Fortunately,
It's all in the past, and I know he's alive and well now.
Sometimes when we achieve a certain goal,
We need to pay the same price,
The price I paid was to be trapped in the time vortex alone for 36 years,
And leave him forever.
Although it happened without any warning, the goal was achieved,
This was the price I was willing to pay,
There was no need to elaborate on the despair and pain during this period.
After everything is over,
People can often use some light words to sigh about the passage of time. For example,
The years pass like water,
Time flies,
The white steed passes by, the cherry is red, the banana is green... but when you're really in it, every second is as slow as a blunt knife, and it can be stretched to infinity...
And the third time was when I returned to the 19th century and reunited with my family.
If all these times are counted together, I'm 57 years old.
But now, I'm back when I was 18 years old.
What was the 18-year-old Anne De Boer like?
I've almost forgotten.
But someone helped me remember. Darcy, Georgiana, Bentley, Caroline... and, my mother.
The 19th-century apartment at 221B Baker Street was no different from the one in the 21st century. When the doctor sent me here, I suddenly remembered that I was here to confess to Shylock on the day everything happened.
In the end, everything turned into a farewell. What was even funnier was that I said goodbye to Shylock so sadly, but I owed a goodbye to those who really needed it.
I used to think that this regret and debt would follow me forever, and I would never be able to make up for it. But in the end, I came back — at the cost of another separation.
There wasn't much sadness or joy in his heart. He just felt a little lost. When I put on the 18-year-old Anne De Boer's dress again, the confusion became even stronger.
I looked at the person in the mirror. Blonde hair, pale cheeks, and a pair of light green eyes … This was me. Other than the silence and loneliness hidden in my eyes, there seemed to be no change.
At a certain moment, there was a chaotic illusion in my mind. It made it hard to tell if the "years passed like water" and "time elapsed" in between had really happened.
But no matter how chaotic it was, it was just a moment. The things that happened were like palm prints engraved in the palm of the hand. They would follow until death and couldn't be changed. There was no need to change.
Time really did contain good medicine. It might not be able to completely eliminate the pain, but at least it could make the pain gentle and soft.
Really, sometimes pain could be gentle. It was like a mark on the heart. You knew it was there. When you thought of it, you would feel a little regret, but that was it.
I could carry on with my gentle pain.
This was me.
The 57-year-old, the 21-year-old, and the 18-year-old —
Anne De Boer.
.
I hugged the doctor and said goodbye. There was a faint smile in each other's eyes.
I always believed that a gentle soul could be seen from the eyes. The doctor was such a person. His eyes were as vast as the universe, dazzling and calm.
I sincerely thanked him for all the help and kindness he gave me. It was too precious to me.
Unfortunately, we might never meet again in the future.
Life was like this. There were many people and things that could only be treasured and missed in the heart.
I walked out of the apartment door of 221B. The bright sunlight instantly filled my eyes. It was spring here. The sky was a pure light blue, as if it was cut from a postcard. It was clean and without a trace of impurities. A gentle breeze blew over, accompanied by the clatter of hooves and the sound of wheels. From time to time, elegant gentlemen wearing tall hats and noble ladies in gorgeous gowns would pass by.
It was a beautiful picture that belonged to the 19th century.
There was a carriage parked in front of the door. The coachman, who had fallen asleep, woke up when he heard the door open. When he saw me, he greeted me respectfully, "Miss Deboer."
I smiled and nodded, "Henry."
Henry was originally Darcy's coachman. When we encountered the "female ripper," my coachman left me behind and ran off by himself. Darcy lent me the loyal and strong Henry.
Henry looked at me and asked, "Miss Deboer, are we going home?"
I think my eyes were a little hot and moist because of this sentence. Home. For the first time, I realized that this was such a heartwarming word.
"Yes, let's go home."
The carriage moved along the smooth streets. The uniform sound of hooves kept ringing in my ears, making my heart feel very peaceful.
However, this peace was unstable. Even at my "57 years old" age, I couldn't overcome the fear of returning home.
The carriage passed through the old and narrow streets of Mayfair. Through the window, I finally saw the familiar tall building. It stood under the sunlight like a tall and majestic giant, forever waiting for its owner to return.
After the swaying carriage stopped, it took a long time for me to get out of the carriage, holding the corner of my dress.
It was already dusk. My loyal giant was bathed in the rose-red sunset, simple and warm.
When I walked in, it was like walking into an oil painting that I had carefully drawn myself. Everything here was so familiar to me. However, this finished oil painting had been put aside for so many years. When I saw it again, I couldn't help but feel a sense of melancholy.
From time to time, maids would come out from everywhere. When they saw me, they would curtsy slightly. I would smile warmly back. However, only I knew that under all this peace, every familiar face made my heart tremble slightly. I could only walk and take deep breaths.
I looked at those familiar faces and then searched their names in my mind one by one. However, there was a typhoon in my head. Those names were blown around by the wind. I tried to catch them, but I couldn't. In the end, I gave up. I told myself that there was no rush. I still had a long time. In the end, I would be able to match them one by one.
I slowly walked through the path in the middle of the lawn and walked to the front of the familiar building.
Before I stepped on the steps, I first saw a familiar figure in the middle of the lawn.
It was Darcy.
He sat alone in the swing chair in the middle of the lawn. His quiet and motionless appearance made it seem like he was really just a painting that could be placed there for thousands of years.
In an instant, my heart was filled with warmth, bitterness, pain, relief, regret … all kinds of complicated emotions.
I stood there and looked at him for a long time. I tried to call his name a few times, but my throat seemed to be blocked by something and I couldn't speak. He seemed to be immersed in his own thoughts and didn't notice me.
Then, the old butler Connor came out of the house. When he saw me, he bowed elegantly and greeted, "Miss Deboer."
Darcy was finally alerted by the movement here. He turned his head and looked over.
I saw the gorgeous sunset behind him fly diagonally from the end of the sky, enveloping him and the whole lawn in a soft light.
My heart also became warm and soft, and unusually calm.
We should have a smile when we meet after such a long separation.
I wanted to smile back, and to my delight, I did.
However, I noticed that when Darcy saw me, his dark brown eyes became unusually distant for a moment. His deep gaze looked at me from under his long eyelashes. I felt as if I saw a flash of sadness in his eyes.
At the time, I didn't know that after I left early that morning, Darcy had been sitting here for the whole morning and then the whole afternoon. He probably thought that I wouldn't come back at that time. Of course, Darcy didn't know that I really wouldn't come back. He was just experiencing another kind of loss in his heart.
It was the first time I saw this kind of gaze in Darcy's eyes. I also hoped that it would be the last time. Because I was really afraid of his gaze, and I was also afraid of his sadness. I was even more afraid of my own sadness.
Soon, he collected all his emotions, stood up from the hanging chair, and walked quickly to me.
He stopped in front of me and said in a low voice, "You're back."
I smiled. This was indeed a welcome speech that suited the occasion. However, my nose suddenly became sour and unbearable, and my eyes also became hot.
Mr. Darcy stood one step away from me. It was a distance that was intimate but not impolite.
Meeting after such a long separation, other than a smile, was also worthy of a hug.
So I took a step forward, opened my arms and hugged him tightly.
I felt his body tense up in shock. I suspected that I wasn't hugging a living person, but a hard tree trunk. But after two seconds, he slowly relaxed and hugged me back.
"Yes, I'm back, Darcy," I leaned on his chest and answered softly.
This sentence wasn't just for Darcy, but also for myself.
Since the day Shylock's accident happened, my life was completely disrupted. No, to be more precise, my entire life collapsed. I could only float in the air like a wandering soul. Even when I had a clear goal and tried to change the outcome, the feeling of weakness and helplessness never disappeared.
I was always floating in the air. Tired, lonely, hopeless, scared … But I didn't know where to land.
Until now.
Someone said to me, "You're back."
Yes, I'm back. I knew that this was the land I had to land on.
We only hugged for a short time, but it was enough for me. I was glad that I didn't cry. Otherwise, Darcy would have thought it was suspicious.
But even so, he still found some suspicious points in other places.
Perhaps my expression revealed something, because the way Darcy looked at me was still a little strange, and her eyes were a little erratic.
In the end, he coughed softly and returned to his usual elegance.
Then, he immediately realized that something was wrong.
"Anne," he looked me up and down and frowned slightly, "You've become taller …"
His hesitant tone finally became affirmative, "Yes, you've become taller."
I was stunned.
I originally thought that my appearance hadn't changed much, but I had forgotten such an obvious point.
People usually think that I have a gentle and sincere personality, which is true most of the time. But I'm not completely incapable of lying. Most of the time, I would tell Darcy some harmless lies. I think he knows most of the time, but he just doesn't expose me.
But this time, under the gaze of Darcy's dark brown eyes, I couldn't tell any lies, and I didn't want to.
After a pause, I said softly, "It's a long and complicated story. I'll tell you slowly later, okay?"
Darcy looked at me for a few seconds and nodded.
His serious and cautious expression made me smile. I really missed Mr. Darcy like this.
Facing Darcy, I suddenly felt like I was 18 years old again. All my family and friends were around, and the most outrageous thing I'd done was hiding on the Rosings garden and sleeping on the ground. The warm sun shone on my eyes, and there was no worry or sadness.
Darcy and I walked into the room. Georgiana and Bentley were in the living room. I gave each of them a big hug, and Georgiana accepted it enthusiastically. Caroline looked at me and said, "You don't look well, Anne. Your skin is as white as paper. You should go to the bedroom and rest!"
Although Caroline was exaggerating, I still accepted her suggestion and returned to my bedroom.
I had a good sleep on the soft bed, and I needed it right now. I couldn't remember the last time I slept so deeply.
It was already past dinnertime, and Darcy asked the maid not to disturb me. When he saw me coming downstairs, he immediately asked someone to prepare dinner.
I stopped him. I had to go to Baker Street.
Hearing my words, Darcy was stunned.
I thought about how to explain Aulos. In the end, I said, "Mr. Holmes left London, but his sister is still in Baker Street. I have to go see her."
Although Aulos had promised to accompany me back to the 19th century, she refused to take the initiative to talk to me. She wasn't ready to forgive me completely, and the way she expressed it was very direct. At this time, some of her childishness was really like another Holmes.
I invited her to come to the Hôtel de Boer and introduce her to my family and friends, but she ruthlessly refused.
She chose to wait for me in the apartment on Baker Street.
I didn't expect to sleep for so long. I hoped the worrying east wind didn't blow elsewhere.
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
