He knew.
He knew that it was impossible.
Xuan Ying buried his scarred face in his mother's arms, sobbing like a child.
"Mother, I know that I can't explain myself. All my excuses are weak and useless.
"Mother and I lived in the South Palace. Mother was bullied by the South Duchess, she was either beaten or scolded. I saw too much of it and became cold-blooded in this isolated world. When I was young, I went to please my father, dealing with criminals. Even when my hands were stained with blood, I wasn't afraid at all. Instead, my blood boiled. This extreme method of venting made me bloodthirsty. Because of my flawed personality, I developed a mild form of masochism. For my sake, Mother secretly sent me away from the South Palace.
"From the Second Young Master of the South Palace, I became a manservant at Ah Jiao's Room. That was where I met Feng Lingxue.
"I have the same background as her, but I'm living in a haze, while she's so bright and beautiful."
"Every festival, other girls would receive expensive gifts and show off, but she would smile at me with her eyes crinkling into a smile as soon as she took a bite of the sweet potato I baked for her.
"While I had her, I often felt afraid, uneasy and inferior. I was afraid that she would meet someone better than me one day, afraid that she would suddenly leave me one day.
"My worst fears finally came true. On the day of her coming of age ceremony, she didn't show up at the appointed time. I went to look for her, but her door was tightly shut. I was stepped on by someone and my face was disfigured.
"For the past three years, I have been suffering from bone-piercing pain day and night. I know I have let my mother down and made her resent me. However, I think I need this power and status. I don't dare to stop for even a moment. I just want to climb up. I want to climb up to that high place to see … where is the person I lost in the past? I want to know if I am qualified to have her now that I was unworthy of her."
"Half an ugly face, a heart full of holes. I fell into the darkness, becoming more and more extreme and sick, selfish and narrow-minded.
"When I met her again, she was still so beautiful, so beautiful that I wanted to destroy her. I whipped her, slapped her, kicked her to the ground. Even on the day of the engagement ceremony, she stubbornly refused to beg for mercy. I thought that it would be good to carve words on her face. If she was ugly, no one would like her and no one would try to snatch her away from me.
"I wanted to make her afraid, to make her submit, to make her obedient. That way, she wouldn't dare to leave me again. That way, I could break her wings and imprison her, to possess her forever.
"Mother, I know I was wrong. Only now do I realize how wrong I was. Even if there's a chance, I don't dare to think about it anymore. I'm not fit to think about it anymore.
"These days, I've been thinking about that day when I took her on the cableway. Her eyes were as bright as the stars. That day, it was her birthday. She wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a hug. I think she had a thousand things to say to me. That night, she looked at me with hope in her eyes. Maybe she wanted to tell me that she had been raped. She wanted me to comfort her, to protect and protect her. She probably wanted me to tell her that it was alright, Lingling, it wasn't your fault. But … I pushed her away. I scolded her coldly and watched as her eyes dimmed again.
"I don't know what I've done. But … I haven't forgotten her for a single moment in the past three years. My dreams are filled with her. I love her as much as I hate her. I've tried my best to climb up the ladder for her. And that ring, I want to marry her …"
Xuan Ying suddenly fell silent. He didn't know what he was saying. It was all nonsense.
He had done everything he could. He had done everything he could to humiliate her and destroy her.
She had said that he wasn't her Brother Ying anymore. She had said that he was no different from those men who wanted to rape her.
Finally, one day, he had become the devil in her eyes.
He had killed her with his own hands.
Concubine Yu looked at her son in her arms. Her heart ached. "Go, go and see her."
Xuan Ying shook his head. "I don't dare. I don't dare to. I haven't thought about what I should do without her."
It didn't matter if he hated her or if he was wrong. It had been so many years. His entire world had been filled with her.
She had suddenly left and his world had collapsed. He hadn't thought about what he should do.
What should he do with himself?
Concubine Yu wiped her tears away and stroked her son's head. "Go. I went to see her just now. She's already awake."
She was already awake.
Xuan Ying froze and quickly lifted his eyes. Tears blurred his vision and he was shocked. "Mother, what do you mean?"
"Lingxue isn't dead. This is just a facade that Miss Tang asked Doctor Sikong to create. He wants to punish you on behalf of Lingxue."
As soon as he said that, Xuan Ying stood up and dashed out of the door.
Master had left.
Miss Feng had woken up.
Ah Zhou smiled. That was great. He got up and wanted to follow him out.
At this moment, he heard Concubine Yu's cold reprimand. "Where are you going?"
Ah Zhou quickly knelt down. "Madam …"
"Go and receive a hundred floggings for your incompetence. It's a small punishment!"
Ah Zhou was speechless.
Madam, I've wronged you!
…
In the room.
Xuan Ying dashed into the room. There was no one on the bed. He looked around with his bloodshot eyes.
"Silver Mask King." At this moment, he heard a gentle voice.
Xuan Ying turned back. Tang Mo 'er was standing by the door, looking at him with her bright eyes.
"Where's Lingxue?" he asked hoarsely.
Tang Mo 'er looked at the balcony in front. "Over there."
Xuan Ying walked over, taking one step after another.
He lifted the curtains. It was dusk and the glass door to the balcony wasn't closed. It was easy to see a pretty figure standing there.
Feng Lingxue was wearing a loose hospital gown and standing on the balcony. Her long black hair fell behind her shoulders and the golden rays of the setting sun illuminated her body. She was so gorgeous that one couldn't take their eyes off her.
Xuan Ying stood behind her, looking at her. He couldn't move his feet.
The night breeze blew gently and a few strands of her hair swayed in the wind. The air seemed to be filled with the fragrance of her hair.
Xuan Ying slowly stretched his hand out, wanting to stroke her hair.
He wanted to feel her warmth.
He was afraid that this was all a dream and he would wake up soon.
Just as his fingers were about to touch her hair, Feng Lingxue moved and turned around.
Xuan Ying's gaze landed on her chest. She didn't look at him, hugging a pillow and moaned softly. "Mu Mu, let's go back to sleep …"
She walked over to him with the pillow, brushing past him before getting onto the bed.
Xuan Ying turned back to look at her. The side of her face was beautiful and soft. She didn't look like she was crazy at all.
Mu Mu …
Who was Mu Mu?
You've already exceeded your reading limit for today. If you want to read more, please log in.
Login
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
