Feng Yu Heng entered the room and personally swapped places with the soldier. Together with Wang Chuan, she helped Feng Jin Yuan back to his bed.
During this process, Feng Jin Yuan stared blankly at her. He watched this daughter and maidservant carry him to his bed and cover him with a blanket. She even quietly sat down next to his bed. Her expression was no longer as sharp as it had been in the past. Although they were not close, it was very similar to the indifference she had before she was sent to the Northwest. Neither close nor distant. To Feng Jin Yuan, this was already the best outcome.
Feng Jin Yuan turned his head away and raised a hand to wipe his face. It was a little damp, but he could feel how thin he was. He said: "Heng Heng, you've come!" He then turned his gaze back. His eyes were filled with a fatherly love that Feng Yu Heng had never felt since coming to the Dashun court.
She was a little dazed and suddenly wanted to ask if Feng Jin Yuan had become muddle-headed from his illness. Did he think of her as the former Feng Chen Yu? But seeing that this person's life had come to an end, she sighed internally and did not say anything too harsh. She just nodded and said: "Yes, I've come."
Feng Jin Yuan was a little embarrassed. Faced with this second daughter, even if he had a thousand things to say, he did not know where to begin. He did not know how to start the conversation. He was already unable to remember how the father and daughter had interacted before sending Feng Yu Heng to the Northwest. When Feng Yu Heng was still the Feng family's daughter to the first wife, he could only remember that at that time, this second daughter's personality was indifferent. She did not have much interest in anything, and she did not have much of a good impression of anyone. After Feng Yu Heng returned to the capital, their interactions were nothing more than arguments and arguments. They did not like each other.
"Hah." Feng Jin Yuan sighed, not knowing what he should say.
It was Feng Yu Heng that spoke first, saying to herself: "I went to mother's grave to pay respects. As a daughter, I did not even make it in time for mother's funeral. I fear that this will become my life's regret and guilt. But I still have to thank you for personally handling this matter. The tomb you chose seems to have good feng shui, and the desert is far away from the capital, far away from all the disputes. Mother will like it. "
Feng Jin Yuan quickly said: "There's no need to thank me. Your mother is my first wife. These are all things that I should do."
Feng Yu Heng shook her head: "She's not considered a first wife. She's already divorced. She has nothing to do with the Feng family." While she spoke, she felt Feng Jin Yuan's pulse. After a while, she put it down; however, she did not say anything about his condition. Instead, she said: "I brought Xiang Rong to Ji 'an Prefecture. In the future, concubine mother An will also be living there. The residence has been arranged very well. You can be at ease. As for Fen Dai, either way, she has the fifth prince taking care of her. Based on her personality, even if you want to worry about her, it would be a waste. Whether it is a blessing or a curse, it will depend on her own choice. "
When she said this, Feng Jin Yuan felt as though she was making arrangements for his funeral. In the end, she was telling him everything about his family. In his heart, he knew that the pulse just now was not good. But this conclusion was within his expectations. It was as he had said to the soldier. He was very clear on his own body. He would not be able to hold on for another two days at most. Fortunately, he was able to see Feng Yu Heng right before he died. He no longer had any worries, thus he opened his mouth and bitterly said: "I am a failed father. I have failed to the point that I am about to die. I don't even know what sort of advice I can give you. You don't need my advice because you have done everything better than me, your father. In comparison, over the years, I have not done a single proper thing. I also do not have the right to ask for your forgiveness, but Heng, there is something that I must tell you. Before your mother passed away, she left behind some words. She said that she was no longer confused. In her heart, she had always recognized you. She knew that you were her daughter and not that Fu Ya. She wanted you to be at ease. "
"Un." Feng Yu Heng's mood was not very good. She was very depressed. Even if she did not have any feelings for Feng Jin Yuan, her body was of the same origin as Feng Jin Yuan's. There would always be some sort of connection. It was such that now that she saw that he was about to die and had suffered so much, no matter how unpleasant the words were, she could not say them. She just said: "Since you remember me, I can be at ease! Speaking of, there is not a single person in this world that does not hope for a loving father and filial son. Father, have you ever thought that if you had treated me well back then, the Feng family definitely would not have ended up in its current state! As long as I was present, the Feng family would have continued to prosper. Unfortunately, things did not go as I wished. "
Hearing her take the initiative to bring this up, Feng Jin Yuan was very happy. He still had many things that he wanted to say. He coughed for a while then said: "I know that I was wrong. Back then, I did not know what was wrong with me, but I felt that if the Feng family did not express its stance on the Yao family's matter, it would definitely suffer the same fate as the Yao family. It wasn't easy for me to pass the imperial examination and climb to the position of Left Prime Minister. It wasn't easy for me to bring your grandmother here. Perhaps this great glory made me dizzy, so when this matter happened, I couldn't even make the most correct judgment. In the end, everything was set in stone. Even if we wanted to return to the beginning, we could not. Heng Heng, the only thing that father is happy about is that you are able to live such a wonderful life. In the end, there is still a child in my Feng family that has a bright future. Regardless of whether you hate me or resent me, I hope that you can live well. Heng Heng, I'm sorry. "
With this apology, tears began to flow from Feng Jin Yuan's eyes. Regardless of how much he did not want to cry in front of this daughter, he could not hold back the tears. The Feng family, how glorious was the Feng family! Yet it had been ruined by him step by step. Thinking about it now, this second daughter had given the Feng family many chances; however, he still could not see the situation clearly.
He wanted to hold Feng Yu Heng's hand, but after speaking for so long, he had used up a lot of energy. After raising it a few times, he did not have the strength. It was Feng Yu Heng that took the initiative to hold his hand. Her two fingers were still pressed against his pulse, as a trace of grief appeared on her brow.
"I am about to die." Feng Jin Yuan said: "I held on to this last breath because I wanted to personally apologize to you. Now that my wish has been accomplished, I can finally swallow this last breath." He panted a few more times and did his best to try and swallow this last breath, but it was time for him to suffer a bit more. He was clearly already at the end of his rope, yet he continued to hang on to this last breath. No matter how uncomfortable he felt, he refused to let it go.
Wang Chuan saw him like this and felt that it was too painful, saying: "Young miss, have a good chat with sir Feng. This servant will wait outside." He quickly left the room.
Feng Yu Heng looked at him for a while then frowned and asked him: "Do you want me to help you go a bit more easily?"
Feng Jin Yuan repeatedly nodded, "Yes, yes!"
Feng Yu Heng did not hesitate any longer. Reaching into her sleeve, she pulled out a euthanasia injection from her space.
"In truth, your daughter died a long time ago in the mountains of the Northwest. She was drugged by two evil villagers and thrown into a mass grave."
While she spoke, she fiddled with the injection. Feng Jin Yuan, however, did not look at the injection. He was just extremely shocked by her words, as he said with a trembling voice: "No wonder Qian Rou said you weren't. It turns out you really weren't …"
Feng Yu Heng shook her head and inserted the injection into Feng Jin Yuan's body. At the same time, she said: "No, I am, but I am also not." Looking at Feng Jin Yuan's expectant gaze, she still shook her head and said: "The mysteries of heaven cannot be revealed."
Feng Jin Yuan did not ask any further. His eyelids became heavy, and just as they were about to close, he muttered: "Why do I feel so sleepy?"
She pulled out the injection and gently said: "If you are sleepy, just sleep. When you sleep, there will be no more pain."
She then watched Feng Jin Yuan slowly close his eyes. It seemed as though he said something before they completely closed. It sounded like "I'm sorry," but it could not be heard clearly.
Finally, there was no more breathing. There was no pain from euthanasia. This was the last thing that Feng Yu Heng could do for him as his daughter.
She stood up and felt that there was a gloomy atmosphere in the room. Under the influence of this gloomy atmosphere, the people of the Feng manor in the past began to flash through her mind like a movie. The matriarch, the Shen Clan, Feng Chen Yu, Feng Zi Hao, Jin Zhen, Han shi … These people that had once been alive all flashed before her eyes in their most unique ways. Then, with the passing of Feng Jin Yuan, they completely disappeared from her world.
"From this day forward, there will no longer be a Feng family!" Feng Yu Heng slightly raised her head. Her nose was a little sour, and some tears appeared in her eyes. She felt that this was very funny, "Ban Zou, why do you think I am crying? Is it for the Feng family? "
In the darkness, Ban Zou appeared in a flash and stood behind her. He silently accompanied her but did not speak.
Feng Yu Heng smiled bitterly, "It can be considered for the Feng family! After all, I am also surnamed Feng. If the family could live well, who would want to end up like this? Could it be that they really believe that I like being abandoned? Could it be that they really believe that I like being without father, mother, brother or sister? If they had treated me with even the slightest bit of sincerity, I would have repaid them many times over. This family would not have ended up like this. "
She sniffled and turned her head to look at Feng Jin Yuan. This father did not have the slightest bit of his appearance from that day. He was as thin as a bamboo pole, and he was as old as a man in his fifties or sixties. In reality, Feng Jin Yuan was no more than forty. He was in the prime of his life.
"I heard that he wanted to be buried with madam." Ban Zou finally spoke; however, he spoke of something that he had heard from a soldier, "He said more than once that he could not properly treat madam when he was alive, but after he died, even if he could only serve at her side, that would be good. He even mentioned to his Highness that he wanted to be buried with madam, but his Highness did not agree. "
Feng Yu Heng laughed, "Not agreeing is correct. I do not wish for mother to have any connection with the Feng family after she passed away. For him to be able to send off mother on her final journey, that would be the end of their fate. If they could not properly be together when they were alive, why continue to be entangled with each other after they died? "
"Then how should Feng Jin Yuan's corpse be taken care of?" Ban Zou asked: "In Sha Ping City, only the East side of the city can be buried. With madam buried there, he can no longer go there."
Feng Yu Heng pondered a little then said: "Just burn it! Burn the ashes and place them in a jar. Have someone send it back to the capital. Just … just give it to Fen Dai. "
Ban Zou was stunned, "Just the Feng family's fourth young miss? Wouldn't she scatter the ashes? She hated Feng Jin Yuan to the point that she looked forward every day to having his ashes scattered. If it was given to her, that would be the same as taking the initiative to deliver it to her. "
"If it's scattered, it's scattered." Feng Yu Heng did not mind this sort of thing as much as the ancient people. In the modern era, there were plenty of people that chose to scatter the ashes in the ocean. "If Fen Dai properly buries it, it can be considered to have completed the relationship between father and daughter in this life. If it really is scattered, it can be considered the last thing that Feng Jin Yuan has done for his fourth daughter! With the ashes scattered, the knot in her heart has been resolved. From this point on, the Feng family's grievances in this life have been resolved … that's also good. "
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