"You're awake?"
When Yasuo returned to the human world, he saw the ceiling of his training hall and the healing incense burning beside him. The one who asked this with concern was Elder Sima, whom he was extremely familiar with. Beside Elder Suma was his mother, whose eyes were red and sorrowful. She looked at him and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes silently.
It was apparent that Yong 'en's death was a huge blow to his mother. Besides, as he was in a deep sleep, his mother must have been having a hard time during this period of time. But even so, he could still see the joy on his mother's face. However, this motherly love left him ashamed and he wanted to escape in a panic. It was because of his recklessness that Yong 'en, who had been taking care of his mother and sheltering the family from the wind and rain, died.
In a daze, he recalled that he had never cared about his mother, who raised him. It was his elder brother who took care of his mother and the family farm. On the other hand, he had been finding people to drink and fight and mocking Yong 'en for not practicing his swordsmanship.
How could I do this?
How am I different from a pig or a dog? I neglected my mother, contradicted my elder brother, and used my strength to ignore everything around me …
And I caused everyone's death …
What am I?
Am I really human?
Yasuo's eyes fell into a daze. Seeing him like this, all the people in the training hall shut their mouths. After all, even though their children had left them forever, the most important thing was still the living. Yasuo's reaction showed how painful it was for him. Therefore, they wouldn't question him now and aggravate his pain.
They would ask him when he was willing to talk about it and not now.
After all, even if Yasuo was unwilling to talk about his experiences, they could also ask a medium or wait until the Undead returned to the human world with the help of flowers during the Spring Festival. This was the concept of balance and harmony. This was how the buses operated in this new land and also the outlook on life and values that they had maintained for thousands of years.
"No matter what you encounter, you have to face it. Just like the wind meeting a wall, you either have to blow it down or go around it. But in any case, you have to face it. Otherwise, how would you know that you can't defeat your opponent? "
After the others left, Elder Sima faintly shook her head. She then looked at Yasuo who was silently sitting up and staring at his hands in a daze. She then signaled Yasuo's mother to leave first.
After Yasuo's mother left, the white-haired Elder Sima gazed at Yasuo, who was still staring blankly at his hands. She shook her head and said the truth that Yasuo didn't want to face.
"You killed them, didn't you? At least that's what you think. "
Yasuo lowered his head as tears gushed out of his eyes. If he had been more cautious and humble, his fellow disciples would not have died. Elder Su Ma, who had treated him like a grandfather, would not have lost almost all of his disciples at such a young age. His brother wouldn't have died, and his mother wouldn't have fallen into such sorrow.
Therefore, he still couldn't say a word. The blood-curdling screams of his fellow disciples still echoed in his ears. His brother's disappointed gaze and reprimanding words were still echoing in his ears. He didn't dare to close his eyes because the moment he did, the resentful gazes of his fellow disciples would appear before him. Moreover, the leader of the group would definitely be his brother, Yong 'en.
"Death is like the wind, always by my side … Don't worry about me, child. I'm already at this age and perhaps I will be able to see them next year. Therefore, you don't have to worry that I will be lonely and have no one to take care of me. The most important thing now is whether you can face your mistakes and walk out of them. "
Elder Sima patted his disciple's shoulder. He could sense his disciple's disappointment and uneasiness. The unruly wind that he had sensed from Yasuo in the past had also gradually calmed down.
This meant that his disciple couldn't use the Wind Riding Swordsmanship anymore. Not only was his heart locked up by himself, but the sword in his heart had also been broken by himself. If his heart couldn't dance with the wind and the sword in his heart couldn't merge with the sword in his hand, then he might not even be able to defeat an apprentice who had just learned the Wind Riding Swordsmanship. The shadows of the past would linger in front of his eyes, making him unable to feel happy and stirring up the wind.
Yasuo could only shed tears continuously. He still couldn't forgive himself. The weight of so many lives weighed down on him, especially when these people died because of him.
He raised his head and saw the white outside the training hall through his hazy teary eyes. Almost every family in the village had people die, and the reason was that he was angry.
If he was the only one who had to die and be tortured, he wouldn't shed a single tear and wouldn't regret it. He would only regret that his swordsmanship couldn't be improved and that he couldn't repay his mother for raising him. But now, his mistake had cost others their lives, while he, the culprit, had survived alone.
He couldn't accept this outcome.
"Being alive is always more difficult than being dead, Yasuo. I don't remember teaching a coward. Among your mother's sons, there was never a child named Yasuo who was afraid of challenges."
Yasuo remained silent. He didn't know how to face his guilt. He wanted to escape, but he couldn't because he knew that if he ran away, he would only be able to run away forever, just like his father who ran away from the burden of his family. Moreover, if he ran away from his responsibility, his mother would take all the blame for him.
He was already worse than a pig and a dog by killing his elder brother. Was he going to let his mother suffer for his sins as an adult? If that was the case, wouldn't he be worse than a maggot?
"I … killed all of them."
The guilt and pain in Yasuo's heart made him lose the ability to think once again. He could only stare blankly at his Master's sorrowful and aged face.
Elder Suma knew that he couldn't heal the scars in Yasuo's heart completely. Therefore, he let out a long sigh and tried his best to enlighten his favorite disciple.
"Everyone has their own choices, Yasuo. What you have to do is to live up to the lives they have reclaimed."
But my life isn't worth that much.
Yasuo closed his eyes once again. There was no longer a trace of wind in his heart. Yong 'en's resentful eyes appeared in front of him at the same time.
"I don't want to …"
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