Tang Yuancheng smiled in satisfaction and said, "Alright, I have a rough idea of what you're thinking. I don't know if I'm right, but it's precisely because you're too familiar with Xuan Shuang that you've long lost all sense of novelty towards him. Until he left for a year, you weren't used to it, but that was only because of your inherent sense of dependence. Until Ling Shuangjin appeared, and he gave you a sense of crisis. In your eyes, Xuan Shuang is just a good friend or a little brother. But what about Ling Shuangjin? You can't figure it out. You personally witnessed his cold-bloodedness and heartlessness, and that only deepened the distance between you. Based on my guess, that extreme coldness, that dazzling identity, and martial arts that ordinary people can't hope to achieve should have already aroused a vague sense of admiration and reverence. He's too far away from ordinary people, and from you. It's as if you live in two different worlds, and that's why you're in a dream-like state of reverie. You yearn to understand him, and you also yearn for him to acknowledge you. The more he ignores you, the more discouraged you feel. At the same time, the more frustrated you feel, the more determined you become to obtain his recognition. Because of this, your feelings for him will deepen exponentially, and in the end, you can't help but fall in love with him. Because the two of you haven't seen each other much, and have only known each other for a short period of time, you only see his strengths. Even if you do see his weaknesses, you'll deliberately erase them, because you can't tolerate the slightest stain on your god. Is the illusion created in this way really as perfect as you imagined it to be? Is he really the one you're destined for? "
Cheng Jiaxuan's eyes widened, and he fell into a daze. Logically speaking, wasn't it the same for Jiang Jianchen? From the very beginning, it was love at first sight, and the only thought left in his mind was how deep his love for him was. After that, he did everything he could to make him recognize him and have a favorable impression of him. That was to raise him higher and higher, while he fell lower and lower. This naturally increased the distance between the two of them.
He was cold to him, and he only knew that this was a deep reflection of his personality. He loved him so much that he couldn't extricate himself. It was no wonder that he had been jealous of him countless times. He had grown up with him, and the luckiest person in his eyes, Chu Menglin, had actually hated him so much.
All the flaws would only be exposed to the two closest people. It was impossible for a person to be perfect all the time. Ordinary friends could only see a certain side of a person, and the true nature could only be seen by staying together all the time.
She had seen his insufferably arrogant attitude, and she had also seen the sadness that flashed through his eyes. She had seen him coughing up blood helplessly, and she had also seen him struggle in vain. Hatefully, in his world, she was only a bystander. She would never be able to truly enter his heart, nor did she have the qualifications to care for him and share his burden.
She was supposed to be his savior, but in his eyes, she had become the most annoying "bitch". That was because he was too strong-minded and didn't want anyone to see his weak side. However, she was always laughing and joking all day long, determined to dig into his heart.
She was too proactive, as if her territory was being invaded by an outsider, and the intruder was a weak little girl who couldn't even truss a chicken in his eyes. Because of this, he doubled his vigilance and was determined to drive her far away. But in the end, they were still people from two different worlds.
Tang Yuancheng stared at Cheng Jiaxuan. He saw hundreds of expressions flash across her face, from the initial confusion to the gradual understanding. In the process of repeated analysis, there were mixed feelings of confusion and confusion. He didn't disturb her. He silently poured a glass of wine and pushed it in front of Cheng Jiaxuan.
Cheng Jiaxuan looked at the beam, the light in her eyes flickering. She vaguely saw something on the table from the corner of her eyes. She tentatively raised her hand to touch it. Her pale fingertips covered the glass, and her finger bones turned pale.
Then she slowly opened her mouth, spitting out the thoughts that had accumulated in her mind one by one. She spoke softly, as if she was dreaming, "Yes, maybe you're right … I care too much about him. Every time I talk to him, I treat it as the greatest gift from God to me. Every time I say a sentence, I've thought it over several times in my mind, for fear that I'll use the wrong words and make him misunderstand me and hate me. Even if he's just casually saying a sentence, it'll make me think about it for a long time, and I'll carefully ponder over every word he uses. Is there any derogatory meaning, is there any sarcasm …? Sometimes I can't help but imagine that there might be some affection in his words … Every time, I'll feel a sense of relief, as if I've completed the most difficult task. How is this a conversation between friends? This is a challenge that coexists with suffering and joy … Yes, being with him can bring me earth-shattering joy, but the equivalent price is that kind of hopeless pain. Not to mention that he won't want me, with this kind of relationship, even if we can be together, I'm afraid neither of us will feel happy. But … I still can't bear to part with him. I want to see him, I want to hear him talk. My … love for him still hasn't changed. I … I'm really confused … Maybe when I say that I'm willing to die for him, it's just a way to show him how deep my love is in front of others? "
Tang Yuancheng said, "Well then, let me ask you again. If there's a chance now, when he's dying, you can save his life, but the price is to make him lose all his memories of you. After he recovers, it'll be as if you've never existed in his eyes. On the other hand, your soul will scatter, and he'll meet another girl. The two of them will love each other, and eventually get married. After they get married, they'll definitely be very happy, grow old together, and live a peaceful life. If you know that all of this will happen, will you still choose to save him? Will you be willing? "
Cheng Jiaxuan said without hesitation, "Of course I won't be willing! I love him, and I want to be with him. Even if we can't, he must remember all the sacrifices I've made for him, and know how good I am … Now that he doesn't remember me at all, then what's the point of everything I've done for him? "
Tang Yuancheng smiled faintly, as if this result was already within his expectations. He said, "So, this also proves that my inference is not wrong. To truly love someone, it's not just to blindly possess them, but to wish to see them happy, even if the next moment you'll be destroyed by the heavens and the earth. Seeing that there's a girl who loves him and can accompany him for the rest of his life, even if it's not you, you should feel very satisfied and at ease, because his happiness is above your happiness. And now, I might as well say that you might like him, but it's not love. What you really love is still yourself. Your so-called love for him is only because you'll be happier when you're with him, and you want to obtain this happiness. That's all. In fact, a girl doesn't need to say 'I'm willing to die for someone' all the time. If he truly loves you, he'll never let you die. If he doesn't love you, even if you really die, he won't pity you at all. On the contrary, he'll think that you're pretentious, and not a friend worthy of deep friendship. A girl should first have self-respect and self-love, and then there'll be someone who will love you. "
Cheng Jiaxuan frowned and said, "It sounds reasonable, but … I think in this lifetime, it's impossible for me to value other people's happiness more than my own feelings. I just don't have that kind of great spirit of sacrifice! Then, can't I learn how to love someone? "
Tang Yuancheng said, "You can learn. It's just that you're still too young, and you don't understand what true love is all about. It's not the usual strange drinks, but the rain after a long drought. It's the last drop of water in the desert that's shared in the same boat! Right now, you're still young, and your knowledge is shallow, so it might be difficult for you to understand. Wait a few years, then you'll really understand that kind of unforgettable love. Who hasn't missed a few people when they're young? But if you can let go of an unsuitable love, it's actually the best choice. Letting go not only requires courage, but also gives the two people an opportunity to be free. Isn't that also another kind of help? "
Cheng Jiaxuan was half doubtful and half confused, but her face still showed a kind of extreme pain and weakness. She asked in a low voice, "Then … Young Teacher Tang, have you really let go of … your feelings for Noble Consort Yun?"
Tang Yuancheng seemed to have expected her to ask this question. He smiled faintly and said, "If I didn't let go, how could I have waited in the palace for so many years, watching her and His Majesty love each other day and night?"
Seeing Cheng Jiaxuan holding her cheeks with both hands and looking at him unblinkingly with her big eyes, it seemed that if he really wanted to untie the knot in her heart, there were some things that needed to be said more thoroughly. He scratched his head and continued, "Of course, letting go doesn't mean that I don't love her. It's just leaving her a path to find happiness. As for me, as long as I keep my love for her in my heart, accompany her when she's lonely, help her when she's helpless, even if we can't become lovers, we can still become best friends. Isn't that also a kind of good fortune? The world of the heart is incomparably vast. Why not use your heart to love, to embrace, to embrace the beauty of nature? In fact, as early as when I had a soft spot for her, I already knew that how could a poor scholar like me, who didn't even have the strength to truss a chicken, be worthy of a peerless immortal like her? Only a dragon among men was qualified to receive her favor. Thus, after many difficulties and difficulties, I finally succeeded. When I saw her in the palace and learned that she had already become His Majesty's concubine, not only was I not sad at all, I was sincerely happy for her. Sometimes, when you love someone with all your heart, you don't have extra energy to think about yourself. "
Cheng Jiaxuan was crying and laughing at the same time. He drank cup after cup of strong wine. Right now, the scene in front of his eyes had already become somewhat blurry. Tang Yuancheng's face was blurry, but his thoughts flew to the time they had spent together, the road they had walked together. It was as if something in his heart had shattered. A decision was faintly discernible in his heart, rising and falling.
Gradually, he forgot the existence of all the people and things around him. He just wanted to expose his scarred heart under the sunlight, and let the light of the rising sun help him heal his wounds. He murmured, "Perhaps, perhaps leaving is the most suitable choice for me. But in this life, in this life, I will always think of him in my heart. I will miss him. All my love, without reservation, I will give it all to him. From now on, I won't love anyone else … as much as I love him. Now I only hope that after a few years, when he has established his hegemony, when he is awe-inspiring, when he has leisure time, he will still remember that there was an insignificant, almost lowly girl who once tried so hard to enter his life … Perhaps others think that I am very stupid, but I have always been such a stupid girl. So stupid, so pitifully loving him … "
His eyes became misty, his mind gradually became blank. Finally, his body went limp and he fell on the table. With a wave of his hand, he knocked over the wine cup on the side. The wine immediately spilled out. The water stains on the tablecloth gradually spread, spreading to the side of Cheng Jiaxuan's face. He looked like a drowning man, floating alone on a piece of driftwood in the middle of the vast ocean, suffering the wind and rain, appearing so desolate and helpless.
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