"Where do you want to sit?" When Chu Xue smiled, it always made Qi Rui feel very warm. It was something that made people feel very sincere, which was what Qi Rui liked the most.
"I haven't been back to Nanjing for a long time," replied Qi Rui.
"I haven't been out for a long time either." Chu Xue was never a person who liked to make decisions.
Raising his hand and pointing to the rooftop hotel where they last met, Qi Rui said naturally, "Let's go there."
The European foreman's eyes only glanced at Qi Rui's military uniform and then fell on the rank badge of a major general. The olive green military uniform, after so many years of design, was clean and stylish, but it was not the conspicuous existence of the European uniform. The general's military uniform was custom-made. Qi Rui's figure was maintained very well. A very stylish military uniform and a very stylish person complemented each other. Now the total number of generals in Nanjing was less than 20. Such a young major general must have just come down from the battlefield.
"Welcome back to Nanjing." The European foreman smiled.
Qi Rui just nodded slightly and smiled politely. If his home was still in Nanjing, maybe Qi Rui would really be happy. Then Qi Rui said, "Find us a private room."
"You have changed a lot." After Chu Xue sat down, she looked at Qi Rui, who was sitting opposite, and said with a smile. After that, she smiled, "But, you still treat me the same as before."
"I …" A feeling of heartache made Qi Rui want to say "I will always love you," but the words were stuck in his throat. What was the use of saying it? Qi Rui regretted not accepting his father Vézé's suggestion. Even if it was to force Chu Xue to stay by his side, at least he wouldn't be unable to find a home in this big world. Qi Rui didn't think it was funny that he couldn't find a home for himself to return to after conquering thousands of miles of territory for his country.
"What can I do for you?" The waiter's voice was very respectful.
"Is there anything you want to eat?" Qi Rui asked Chu Xue.
"Ice cream," Chu Xue answered straightforwardly.
"Ice cream. Also, serve a few signature dishes, "Qi Rui answered readily.
After the waiter left, Chu Xue smiled, "I never expected that you would actually order."
This praise made Qi Rui smile bitterly. The so-called ordering skill was just a joy in the long war. When they visited the troops, everyone actually ate the same food. As long as there was a little bit of improvement, it would be able to stand out from the rest of the same restaurants. Therefore, every military unit had their own 'signature dish'. When they arrived at the military unit for an inspection, everyone would shout out the words' signature dish 'when they mentioned ordering dishes. No matter how it tasted, at least it was delicious.
Qi Rui thought to himself, but he didn't say anything. Thus, the two of them sat in silence. Carefully looking at Chu Xue, Qi Rui felt that time had passed very quickly. He recalled that it was always like this. After sitting down, it was time to eat. After eating, everyone had to separate. In order to achieve this meeting, Qi Rui sat on the train for nearly 24 hours. However, the time they could really talk together was only this one hour.
"Are you leaving Nanjing?" Chu Xue suddenly asked.
Qi Rui's first impulse was to refuse, but he knew very well that after leaving Nanjing this time, he would probably never return. There was no reason for Qi Rui to stay in Nanjing. After thinking for a moment, Qi Rui replied, "…, why do you think so?"
"Every time you look at me like this, you tell me that you are going somewhere else. It has been like this since you were in college, "Chu Xue said slowly.
The two were silent for a while, and Qi Rui said, "That's because I don't have the courage to tell you. I want you to go with me."
For the first time, Qi Rui finally saw Chu Xue lower her head. When she was with Qi Rui, Chu Xue always raised her head and never showed a trace of retreat. It was always Qi Rui who retreated. However, this was only for a moment. Chu Xue raised her head again and asked, "Qi Rui, I always thought that your goal was to become a general. I always thought that if you could be a general, you wouldn't know how happy you would be. But now it seems that you don't care about being a general at all. Why is that? If you don't mind, can you tell me? "
"I … thought that being a general meant that I would grow to the point where I could solve all my puzzles. I thought that with knowledge and power, I could solve all my problems once and for all. I thought that with enough knowledge and experience, I could never feel pain again. So I wanted to rush forward, while I was still young, climb to the top. There, I could live a worry-free and secure life. " Qi Rui talked about the question that had been bothering Qi Rui these days. What had he been pursuing for the past twenty years?
"Isn't it like this?" Chu Xue revealed a surprised expression.
Qi Rui shook his head somewhat sorrowfully. "No, the stronger I became, the more I felt that I was useless. The more I learned, the more I felt that I was ignorant. To people like me, this world is a mountain that I don't know how to climb. But after I met a genius, the genius told me which protrusion to grab, which stone to step on. Then this mountain was climbed as if it was flat ground. When I climbed to the top, I looked back and saw that there were paths to climb up everywhere. When there were many people walking these paths, they would help each other, and it would become a bright path that could be easily walked on. Even if I climbed this mountain, when I looked up, there really was a higher mountain. Even if I reached an even higher mountain, I still didn't know where to start. But those geniuses had already climbed such a mountain … "
Qi Rui stopped his narration, not because he had finished, nor was it because he couldn't continue. The waiter began to serve the dishes. Qi Rui didn't want these unrelated people to hear his heartfelt words. Many people thought that others would laugh at him, but Qi Rui felt that his words were too pretentious.
When the waiter served the dishes, Qi Rui got up and went to the buffet to get some small cakes and cut fruits. Just as he was about to bring the plates back, he heard someone call out, "Is that Wei Rui?"
Standing in place and turning his head, Qi Rui saw a man. After staying in the army for so long, he had seen too many people. Unless it was someone who left a deep impression, Qi Rui's brain cells didn't have any reaction to faces. But the guy also smiled and said, "It really is you. You haven't changed after so many years. Oh my, you're already a major general. I didn't expect that. "
Looking at Qi Rui's speechless expression, the man smiled and said, "Did you forget? I'm Bu Fei. "
"Ah … You're my primary school classmate. Long time no see. "Qi Rui smiled. Although it was appropriate, in fact, Qi Rui thought of Bu Fei's father, Bu Zhengtu. This major general retired from the army when Qi Rui became a major general. Of course, this Bu Zhengtu, who was also a revolutionary hero, was remembered by Qi Rui because Bu Tao in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms left a deep impression on Qi Rui. When Bu Tao served as the provincial governor of Jiaozhou, he built a city in the South China Sea. Later, it was called "Bu Tao City." It was the rebuilt city of Guangzhou during the Eastern Han Dynasty, and its official name was "Panyu City." In a sense, Qi Rui was also a Guangzhou native.
Feeling that his thoughts began to fly again, Qi Rui instantly withdrew his thoughts. He smiled and said, "Do you want to come to my place?"
"Don't bother. You go ahead with your business. However, when are you going back to North America? We can meet in North America. "Bu Fei smiled brightly.
"Oh? You're going to North America? "Qi Rui was very surprised.
Bu Fei said proudly, "Of course, I studied animal husbandry. In response to the government's call, I'm going to North America to work hard. I'm going to raise thousands of cows and make some money. "
Such utilitarian and practical words made Qi Rui inexplicably happy. He also smiled and said, "I'm going back to North America for a while."
"No problem. My father is also in North America. He said that he likes the weather in Vancouver. He's going to retire there. We'll contact him through my father. "Bu Fei agreed readily.
"General Bu Zhengtu, I remember him." Qi Rui confirmed with Bu Fei.
Just as they were talking, a lovely girl of 13 or 14 years old came over. She grabbed Bu Fei's arm and asked, "Brother! Who is this? "
"My primary school classmate, Wei Rui. Call me brother, "Bu Fei replied.
Qi Rui was very surprised. He remembered that Bu Zhengtu was almost 60 years old. He didn't expect that he had such a young daughter. That skinny old man … was really admirable. He actually had such a beautiful daughter.
"Hello, Brother Wei Rui," the little girl said. However, she didn't particularly care about Qi Rui. Her eyes swept over the plates in Qi Rui's hands. Qi Rui smiled and said, "Which plate do you like? Take it away."
"No! I'll get it myself. "The little girl shook her head and then skipped away.
"I don't know why she likes to eat so much!" Bu Fei sighed.
"Your sister … is too young." Qi Rui was about the same age as his classmates. Bu Fei was also 30 years old.
"Sigh … Don't mention it. She's the child of my stepmother. I heard that my stepmother likes Vancouver, so my father is willing to stay in North America. He even wants to take us there. "Bu Fei sighed in a low voice.
Every family had their own difficulties. Qi Rui quickly said goodbye to Bu Fei. He didn't want to get involved in other people's family matters. He returned to Chu Xue and put down the plate. Qi Rui's mood that had started to become better began to become heavy again.
The two ate in silence. The food was delicious. It made Qi Rui's mood better. When they were almost done eating, Chu Xue put down her chopsticks and took a sip of tea. Then she said, "Qi Rui. I've always wanted to help you, but you're far smarter and more capable than me. So I don't know what to say. "
Qi Rui shook his head. "Those so-called fame and fortune aren't important. I think your heart is much firmer than mine. You'll always stick to your choice."
"Is that how you see me?" Chu Xue smiled bitterly.
Qi Rui nodded seriously. "Yes. Although I can't say it in detail, the feeling you give me is the same as the feeling those people I admire give me. You're all so stable. It's as if nothing can affect your life. But I can't … "
"That's because you want to become someone else. And you have the ability to use this method to pursue what you want." Chu Xue looked at Qi Rui with a sympathetic expression.
Qi Rui was stunned. He had heard of the saying 'learn from the worthy', but Chu Xue's words pointed out Qi Rui's weakness. He didn't simply want to do what those geniuses could do. Qi Rui wanted to be like those geniuses. He wanted to become a genius that surpassed those geniuses.
While Qi Rui was dumbfounded, Chu Xue continued. "I can't do what you can do. So I can't imagine what you've encountered. It's just like when we were in school. I never understood your disintegration. You only used a few words to explain the key to those who could understand. But no matter how I listened, I couldn't understand what you were talking about. "
This was the first time Qi Rui heard Chu Xue complain about the past. He felt surprised and ashamed. Now that he had seen so much, he finally understood the difference between geniuses and talents. His father only needed to construct it out of thin air to point out the general strategy of the motorized infantry. And this group of executors constantly misunderstood Vézé's point of view. They only understood the main point of Vézé's words after they had gone through hundreds of battles. Of course, there were many soldiers who couldn't understand these theories even if they had gone through hundreds of battles. They only relied on their own experience to complete their missions. Chu Xue was undoubtedly this kind of person when it came to academics. At that time, Qi Rui didn't know why Chu Xue didn't want to talk about academics with him. Qi Rui didn't want to show off, he really hoped that he could improve together with Chu Xue in their studies and fly together.
"You said that I'm very determined. But you don't know. I'm determined because I can't be as smart as others. I tried many times and realized that I can only use my own stupid method. And I can only use my stupid method. Qi Rui, you're not the only one who said that I'm determined. Every time I hear this, I feel very painful. Because every time I have to admit that I'm determined, I have to admit that I'm really stupid. Stupid to the point that there's only one way to go. "
Chu Xue said this with a smile on her face. But Qi Rui could see the sadness hidden behind the smile. Qi Rui couldn't help but ask, "Then why didn't you tell me this? If you had told me … "
Hearing Qi Rui say this, Chu Xue shook her head helplessly. "It's useless to tell you. You can't understand how we so-called determined people see the world. Qi Rui, I've always admired you. No matter what, you can do it. You can get the highest scores, go to the best university, and become a soldier. I always thought that you couldn't become a general before the age of 30. I believe that you can become a general, but that's something that will happen after the age of 30. But you're already a general when you're 28. If I'm not wrong, you can probably become a lieutenant general before the age of 30. That's why people like you can't understand how people like me, who can't do it, think. You think that everyone can do it. But I really can't do it. "
Qi Rui was stunned. He never thought that Chu Xue would see the problem like this. But Qi Rui didn't look down on Chu Xue. On the contrary, Qi Rui suddenly understood many things.
"One must first torture one's will, tire one's muscles and bones, starve one's skin, empty one's body, and mess up one's actions. So … move one's heart, and one's nature." Qi Rui remembered that after his father Vézé said the last ten words, he poked Qi Rui's heart with an expression of exasperation. Then he said coldly, "You're not moved. You don't even put it in your heart. Your heart is filled with things. It's solid, so you can't be modest. "
Qi Rui didn't know what to say to Chu Xue, so he had no choice but to talk about the thing that made him the most confused and painful. Now, Qi Rui was suddenly enlightened. When he understood where Chu Xue's true pain lay, he also understood where his own pain lay.
In essence, I'm the same as Chu Xue. She feels that she can't be as smart as me, so she feels pain. And I understand that I can't be as strong as my father, so I've always been in pain. But Chu Xue is far better than me. After she saw the problem, she moved her heart, and no longer compared herself to others. Instead, she used everything she could to deal with the world. The beautiful woman that I see, because she's strong and steady, never losing herself because of others, is a woman that has the wisdom to choose the right response. I'm not wrong, she really is a good woman.
"Chu Xue. Do you know how much I love you? As long as you're by my side, I'll mysteriously feel happy. As long as you're by my side, I'll feel very at ease. Thinking of sharing a future with you, I'll feel that I have no regrets in this life. So I want to ask you, right now, can you still choose to be with me? "When Qi Rui said these words, he felt that he was no longer flustered, embarrassed, and uneasy like before. These words didn't require him to put in a lot of effort to organize them. At this moment, his long-held feelings finally came out naturally. It was like a small stream flowing down the river, like the night wind passing through the flowers naturally and carefreely.
"Why?" Chu Xue's eyes were filled with emotion and joy that Qi Rui could see. Qi Rui didn't see that Chu Xue's hands were tightly clenched under the table, her nails almost piercing into her palms.
"There's no reason. Because I believe that as long as we're together, these are things that will definitely happen. Even if I don't have the chance to do so, I know that I sincerely want this to happen between us. "Saying this, Qi Rui couldn't help but smile. Then, he looked at Chu Xue's expression. Slowly, slowly, Qi Rui's smile turned into a bitter smile.
"Qi Rui, you don't know anything." Chu Xue's eyes became rational. "Qi Rui, I said that you don't know anything. I won't destroy my choice. Goodbye. "
Then, Qi Rui saw Chu Xue stand up and disappear from the door of the private room without turning her head back.
Pain was unavoidable. Qi Rui was very clear about this. So, he didn't use the so-called rationality to suppress the pain like before. After sitting in the private room until his emotions calmed down a little, Qi Rui left the hotel. He went to the riverside and took a boat to Jiang Xin Zhou.
After buying a carton of cigarettes and three boxes of matches, Qi Rui also bought a sliced salted duck and a dozen beers. From sunset to sunrise, Qi Rui had been sitting in the pavilion in Jiang Xin Zhou. When he was hungry, he would eat. When he was thirsty, he would drink. When he was depressed, he would take two puffs. Just like those previous harsh tests, after the red sun rose from the river, Qi Rui finally endured the most painful period.
You've already exceeded your reading limit for today. If you want to read more, please log in.
Login
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
