Mo Xi's low and slow voice sounded in his ears. It was exactly the same as what he remembered, except that there was hesitation and anger in his voice.
"Is this what you mean by 'nothing'?"
Gu Mang: "…"
Mo Xi had already sensed that something was wrong with Gu Mang, but Gu Mang always said nothing was wrong when he asked him about it previously. Besides, he didn't want to do anything that shouldn't happen between him and Gu Mang, so even though he knew it, he didn't care.
But this straw hut was too small. He couldn't help but look at the person curled up in the corner from time to time, far away from him.
Mo Xi knew that Gu Mang was upset and suppressed … He even saw Gu Mang's subsequent actions.
He thought that Gu Mang had probably really let go of the past and didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. So this military hooligan who once smiled and said to him, "It's just sex, as long as we're both happy." Now, he would rather deal with it secretly than expose his love to him.
Gu Mang could smile at Jiang Yexue, talk nicely with Murong Chuyi, and even speak gently to the little broken bird that he had just caught. But he treated him coldly.
Gu Mang really didn't want him anymore.
Mo Xi wanted to pretend that he didn't see his broken self-esteem and pride, but when he heard Gu Mang's suppressed and painful voice a few times … he still couldn't ignore it.
In the end, he didn't know what kind of feelings he had. He got up and walked to the side of the cowering figure. He bent down and hugged the body whose back was facing him.
Gu Mang's sudden reaction made his heart tremble. So in the end, he braced himself and broke his vow to never touch Gu Mang again. He took the pitiful and unredeemable body back into his hands. Gu Mang's entire body unconsciously pressed against his chest. His chin and neck were slightly raised. "Mo Xi …"
Mo Xi said in a hoarse voice, "Close your eyes. Just pretend that it's not me. "
Gu Mang frowned, his words stuck in his throat.
At this moment, he was extremely weak, but even in his weakness, he still had an extremely strong soul. He wanted to say, how could it not be you?
It's always been you.
'Mo Xi, only you …'
However, this unspeakable love could only stop at the threshold of "wanting to say".
Of the two of them, one thought that the other had severed all ties with them, while the other thought that his heart was as hard as stone. For various reasons, neither of them was willing to get close to the other. However, love and lust were like an endless abyss. They had already stepped on nothing and were falling endlessly. Their surroundings were dark, and they could only grasp each other.
When Mo Xi hugged him, Gu Mang's last bit of rationality collapsed. The only light he had left was to prevent himself from saying Mo Xi's name in a daze.
He was like a beast trapped in the sea of desire, desperately struggling to escape the cage of his old love. However, he could not do it. Mo Xi knew him too well. He could easily ignite the fire in his heart and make him helpless.
His disappointing body that was prone to tears had already caused his eyes to turn red. His slender eyes were filled with tears. He was in so much pain that his entire body was trembling. Thus, he raised his head and leaned against Mo Xi's chest. In the midst of his collapsing rationality, he shouted hoarsely, "Let go of me …"
His tone was hard, but his voice was extremely soft, as if it was about to melt.
He clearly wanted to say something fierce, but what came out of his mouth was a vague plea.
"… Let go of me …" In the end, even Gu Mang himself could not hold it in anymore. He was almost in grief. God knew how painful it was for him to restrain his love while restraining the beast blood.
He had lost his memories, walked the path of despair, and lost two of his souls. He did not know how long his consciousness could last with the help of the Mirror of Time. He did not know if the clarity that the heavens had given him out of pity would be taken back soon. He had already lost so much. The man behind him was the last light and warmth that he could embrace at this moment.
However, he still had to suppress it.
Gu Mang was on the verge of breaking down. "You … let go of me …"
Let go of me. Don't come near me again.
Although I have tempered the beast blood, I am still a human. I will still feel unreconciled. I will also regret the path that I have chosen. But I can't turn back. I beg you … don't torture me anymore …
I know that it is a cold night ahead. Your warmth will make me hesitate and not dare to move forward.
I am already a traitor. Mo Xi.
I don't want to be a coward anymore …
But what should Mo Xi do? Mo Xi hugged him. It was also painful. He did not even understand who should let go of who, and who should forgive who.
Because Gu Mang did not want him to touch him, he even said such a tragic sentence, "Just pretend that this is not me." But even so, was Gu Mang still repulsed?
Because of this moment of sadness and fear, the strength of his arms loosened a little. Gu Mang was like a sparrow that finally got freedom. He stumbled and crawled, trying to stand up and perch at a place further away from Mo Xi.
However, the poison in his body was boiling. The pain made his waist weak. He did not have any strength in his body. He staggered and supported half of his body before he fell back among the rice stalks. Countless demons used to dual cultivate in this thatched hut. There was a pungent smell in the golden haystack. Gu Mang made a painful whimper. He turned over. His blue eyes were wide open, but they were unfocused …
Then he saw Mo Xi stand up. His figure was reflected in his eyes.
He was in such a sorry state. He knew how miserable he was now, but Mo Xi's robe was not even messed up.
The poison of the fog swallow's fragrance became more and more turbulent in his body. He frowned in pain and raised his hand. "You …"
He wanted to say, "Go away."
But it was too unbearable. Before he could finish his words, he bit his lip.
Mo Xi misunderstood Gu Mang's meaning. He thought that Gu Mang wanted him to pull him up. So he held Gu Mang's hand …
It was as if the last cluster of lava had broken through the rock stratum. That extremely subtle touch of their fingers finally caused Gu Mang, who had been stretched to the limit, to break free of his shackles. At this moment, the human desire succumbed to the demon blood.
Gu Mang could not get up. Instead, he pulled Mo Xi down.
Mo Xi was caught off guard. The soft rice grains sank behind the two of them. The dust from the rice grains seemed to have been whipped and spread in the turbid air.
"Gu Mang …"
Hearing him call his name, Gu Mang's eyes became hot.
He was really trembling badly. His lips were trembling and the light in his blue eyes was scattered. He could have said 'let me go' before, but the strong poison of the demon beast had burned him to the extreme. Even his fingertips were trembling. He could only look up at Mo Xi's handsome face and bite his lower lip. He could not say anything.
His instincts were forcing him to reveal his true feelings.
All these years … he had done many decisive things. He had walked many bloodstained roads. He had abandoned many things. Only Mo Xi remained.
Mo Xi was not abandoned by him. He was cut off by him.
He took a knife and cut his own flesh inch by inch. He cut it from his heart.
Actually, when he looked at Mo Xi in the rain of bat blood, his heartbeat had sped up and he had gone crazy. But he had hidden all of this very indifferent and heartless.
How could it be like this?
He loved him so much. He missed him so much. He missed him when he was in the Cao camp. He missed him on the boat in the rain. In the depths of his fragmented memories, he loved him, missed him, and missed him.
He bit his lip hard. Tears flashed in his eyes. That was because the poison was tormenting him. But more than that, it was because he had really been destroyed by his longing.
He really wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to say, 'Hug me.' Mo Xi, please … save me. I have been soaked in the sea of blood for eight years … Can you hug me again …
I miss you …
After I cut you out of my heart, that scar has never healed …
Gu Mang blinked. He felt something hot and moist trickle down from the corners of his eyes and seep into his hair. Mo Xi raised his hand to touch his cheek.
He grabbed Mo Xi's hand. He used almost all of his strength and intelligence to say to Mo Xi in an extremely low and hoarse voice, "… Help me get rid of the poison …"
He saw a light that had nothing to do with desire flicker in Mo Xi's black eyes.
His heart felt like it was being cut by a knife and cooked by fire.
"It's just … the poison …" Gu Mang closed his eyes. He choked. "… I will … take you …"
His fingers that were holding Mo Xi's wrist trembled violently.
"I will … treat you … as another person."
He opened his eyes and saw that the light in Mo Xi's eyes had been extinguished. It had become an endless and bone-piercing eternal night.
Mo Xi's expression was sad. But just like how he was used to using laughter to hide his inner feelings, his little junior brother Mo Xi had finally learned to use coldness to hide his true feelings.
His Moquing was no longer that young man on the battlefield on a snowy night who came to confess his love in the snow and wind after figuring it out.
They were no longer the same.
The pain in his black eyes was hidden, replaced by coldness.
Mo Xi was almost gnashing his teeth. Then, Gu Mang felt a terrifying force that suddenly flipped him over.
This kind of action … was indeed like a forced release. It had nothing to do with love.
Because of the demonic poison, Gu Mang was in extreme pain. He buried his head between the golden rice stalks. His soft cheeks were slightly tilted. His heart was in a mess.
It seemed that ever since the battle at Fengming Mountain, he had been constantly losing. He had lost to the political situation, lost to conspiracies, and now lost to himself.
He was in extreme pain. He couldn't help but turn his head. His consciousness was blurred as he wanted to look back at the man he loved deeply. But what followed was Mo Xi taking off his black hair band and covering his eyes.
"You …"
"You'll probably feel better if you don't look at my face."
"…" His long eyelashes trembled behind the hair band. Gu Mang didn't know what Mo Xi's expression was when he said this. In fact, Gu Mang couldn't think anymore. His mind was a mess. But this feeling wasn't good — the demonic blood was about to be satisfied, but his rationality was about to be destroyed.
Mo Xi didn't kiss him, nor did he lovingly caress him. Mo Xi used to be extremely affectionate and affectionate. This was the first time he didn't do anything like this.
"Why are you trembling all over?"
"…"
Gu Mang's lips trembled. He forced himself to say, "I'm fine …"
But when Mo Xi raised his hand to touch the hair band covering his eyes, he found that there were tears seeping out of his hair.
Mo Xi, "…"
Gu Mang bit his wet lower lip and didn't say anything. He couldn't see what was in front of him, but he could feel that his chin was being pinched from behind by Mo Xi.
Mo Xi's voice was so close that Gu Mang could even clearly feel his breathing. "Because it's me, even if you're forced to this state by the poisonous miasma, you're still unwilling. Right? "
"…"
There was silence.
Mo Xi said, "Gu Mang. How much do you not want me? "
Gu Mang was forced to cry. He lay on the haystack, unaware of the situation. He only felt that he was forced to the point where he had no other choice. He raised his hand to take off his hair band, but his wrist was grabbed.
"Mo Xi …"
"Why do you have to call me by my name?"
Mo Xi didn't know if it was for his own dignity, or for Gu Mang's feelings, or for the sake of two people who couldn't love each other because of the obstacles in their hearts, he was looking for a rare reason to be together.
But in fact, in the bottom of their hearts, they had been looking forward to such a reason and excuse for a long time.
"Just like you said," Mo Xi's voice was hoarse, "what I can do now, what I should do, is to detoxify your poison. And what else … "
After a pause, he said in a low voice, "… it doesn't matter."
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