I couldn't have heard Zhao Yanyan's words, because I was already dead at that time, in other words, dead.
When I woke up again, I found that I was standing in a huge hall. It was like the palace halls in the Qing Dynasty dramas that you often see on TV, but it was a bit creepy.
Right in front of me, there was a humorous old man who thought himself to be very dignified sitting there. Beside him stood two people who looked like they were dressed like Judges. There was a huge board right above the three people, on it were three big words — — Yama's Palace.
Damn, it can't be that funny right, my first reaction was if this was a TV show? Looking at this scene, it was probably a horror movie, but why did the three people's dressing feel like it was from a comedy movie. I couldn't help but exclaim, these days, there were too many third rate directors!
Just as my mind was wandering, the funny old man in the middle angrily slammed the table and roared, "Who's down there, why aren't you kneeling when you see me, the Yama?"
I momentarily blanked, he probably thought that I was an extra right. I shouted, "Oi, geezer, you got the wrong person right? I don't want to act in a TV show! "
Hearing me say that, the three people also momentarily blanked, Judge A on the side muttered to himself, "His grandma, there can't be something wrong with this person's brain too right?"
Judge B also took out the Book of Life and Death to check, but didn't find anything after a while, thus he asked weirdly, "That's not right, there's no one about to die at this time, who's the one down there?"
The funny old man slammed the table again, and said, "The person down there, you're already dead! Quickly tell me your name, this Yama will arrange your reincarnation! "
I'm dead?? How did I die? I suddenly remembered, that's right, I did die. I drank too much at Zhao Yanyan's wedding, and couldn't be saved, then I came here.
It looks like I really am dead. Fuck, I really failed as a person in this life, I only struggled for the first half of my life, and died before I even tasted love. At this time, I thought of a classic line in an old movie: There was once a sincere feeling in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. It was only when I lost it that I regretted it. This is the most painful thing in life. If the heavens could give me another chance, I would say three words to that girl: "I love you." If there was a time limit before this love, I hope it would be: ten thousand years.
Just now, that Yama bro seemed to have told me that I could reincarnate? That means I still have a chance to enjoy love. In my next life, I will not let go of any woman I love! I thought resentfully.
Thus, I said to Yama, "Old Bro Yama, I'm called Liu Lei, quickly think of a way to arrange my reincarnation!"
King Yama said angrily, "Scram! Who the f * ck is your elder brother? I'm older than your ancestors! "
My many years of experience in the business world allowed me to understand how to flatter. I knew that if I wanted the King of Hell to help me reincarnate into a good family, I definitely had to flatter this old man. I smiled, "I'm saying that your old bro looks young and radiant. If you didn't say your age, I definitely wouldn't know how old you are! Look, when I came in just now, I thought we were filming a TV show. I was thinking, where did the director find such a handsome actor like you, you're even more handsome than Chow Yun-fat and Andy Lau! " Saying that, I thought, King Yama probably hasn't seen Andy Lau and Chow Yun-fat before, thus I quickly said, "Much more handsome than that brat called Pan An!"
Hearing me say that, Yama immediately smiled, and asked Judge A with his wrinkled old face, "Do I really look that young?"
That Judge A was probably used to bootlicking, he didn't even think before saying, "Congratulations King of Hell, congratulations King of Hell, you're simply the best amongst ghosts, super handsome and invincible!"
Hearing that, Yama laughed happily, and said to me amiably, "Then what's your name? Oh yeah, it's Liu Lei. You're practically Benwang's best friend! Benwang will recognize you as his little bro! Don't worry little bro, I'll definitely arrange a good family for you! "
I quickly thanked him, my heart was blooming with happiness, my evil plan worked!
Yama said to that Judge B, "Quickly check this little bro's birth date!"
Judge B checked for a while, then showed an expression of disbelief, and said in surprise, "Yama, look, your gan-didi has a hundred and eighty years of lifespan, he can't be dead now!"
Hearing that, Yama quickly received the Life and Death Book with a serious expression, after looking at it for a while, he clenched his teeth and slammed the table, and shouted towards the outside of the hall, "Fuck, which blind brat brought my little bro back?"
After a while, a brat walked in trembling, and immediately knelt on the floor when he saw Yama, "Please calm down, Yama, this little one, this little one just happened to pass by the hospital, and saw that this brat, no, your little bro was about to die, so I grabbed him back!"
Ah? Hearing that I was caught by mistake, I was really speechless. I was just too unlucky. I thought that things like being caught by mistake would only happen in the world of the living, I didn't think that the government of the underworld would be so dark as well.
Yama said angrily, "Fuck, are your eyes growing on your ass? You're actually finding trouble for me! This Life and Death Book clearly says that my little bro will have a calamity, but it didn't say he's going to die! Someone, throw him into a pot of oil and burn him to death, so that he can never reincarnate! "
A few weird-looking people … They should be ghosts that instantly arrived, and took the brat away.
I wasn't interested in the brat's life or death, I just wanted to reincarnate as soon as possible, I said to Yama, "Old bro, can you arrange for little bro to reincarnate first?"
Yama said with a bitter expression, "Little bro, it's not that old bro isn't arranging it for you. It's just that you were caught by that blind fuck before your lifespan ended, so — — Ai, there's nothing I can do! "
My heart instantly turned cold, but I still asked unwillingly, "But I'm not the only one that dies from accidents every year right? Then what about them? "
Yama replied, "Those people? They're all ghosts that wander around in hell every day, they'll only reincarnate when their lifespan ends! "
I still didn't give up, "Since I was caught by accident, then can you send my soul back into my body?"
Yama looked at me sympathetically and said, "Old Bro, let Old Bro ask you, did you sign an organ donation agreement when you were alive?"
I nodded, and asked in confusion, "Why did you suddenly bring this up?"
Yama shook his head and said with pity, "I really want to send you back, but now your heart, kidney, and cornea have been swapped with someone else's body. I guess the rest of your body has been dissected by the medical students …"
It looks like I wasn't just a little unlucky! Was I destined to wander around in hell for a hundred something years?
At this moment, Judge B seemed to have thought of something, and whispered beside Yama's ear for a while. Hearing that, Yama slapped his thigh and shouted, "That's right! Damn it, how could I forget about this? Little bro, do you want to reincarnate? "
"Reincarnate?" I repeated silently, I wasn't unfamiliar with this term, there were a lot of these topics in web novels.
Yama thought that I didn't understand, so he explained, "This reincarnation, is to let your soul return to your past body — —"
I waved my hand and said, "I understand the meaning of reincarnation, doesn't that mean that anyone who hasn't reached the end of their lifespan can choose to reincarnate?"
Yama shook his head, "Of course, we have a quota for reincarnation in hell, and it has to be reported to the Heavenly Court for approval. Originally, I wanted to sell this quota for a high price, but since you're my little bro, then I'll give this quota to you! Since I don't lack money. "
It sounds like this quota is rather precious! It looks like I was right to recognize Yama as my old bro! I've heard that people who reincarnated all have some special abilities, can I have them as well? Thus, I asked shamelessly, "Old bro, can I have some special abilities after reincarnating?"
"About this," Yama thought about it and said, "I don't have the authority to decide, if you really want to have a superpower, I can help you apply with the higher-ups, but it might take a bit longer!"
Hearing that there was a chance, I immediately asked, "How long?"
Yama thought about it and said, "That's not certain, it might be a day, it might be a year, the last batch of people who reincarnated just got their superpower application approved yesterday, it'll probably be faster this time, just a few hundred years!"
I faint, a few hundred years? I quickly asked, "Then did that person get a superpower later on?"
Yama said, "Got my ass, that person's great grandson is already dead, and was depressed for his entire life, before he died he shouted 'When will my great grandfather get a superpower'!"
Hearing that, I nearly fainted on the ground, I think I should just forget about it. Thus, I waved my hand and said, "Old bro, that's it for me, it's fine as long as the superpower works, it's fine if it doesn't!"
Yama smiled faintly, "However, old bro can give you a phone, if you have anything to ask old bro in the future, you can call me anytime!"
Phone? I asked, "Can I call you when I return to the world of the living?"
Yama nodded affirmatively, "Of course, this was just made by Edison and Bell, oh, I forgot to tell you, Edison is currently the chief scientist of our Yama Technology Co., Ltd."
Judge B came over and handed me an exquisite jade pendant, I asked curiously, "This thing can make calls?"
Yama said proudly, "Of course, it's directly telepathic, when you miss me, you can communicate spiritually with me. What I'm giving you is the latest generation product, it uses high efficiency energy at night, it's the same as the solar energy in your world of the living, this just needs to be placed in a dark place and it will automatically recharge. "
I temporarily believed the new phone that old bro Yama bragged to me, and carefully hung it around my neck.
Yama said to me, "Okay, it's about time, Judge A, go and send my little bro back."
I rolled my eyes, this guy was actually called Judge A.
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