【What is trust? I said I believed you, but I still had some doubts in my heart.
What is absolute trust? I said I believed you, but I was still worried. I was not worried that you would lie to me, but worried that what you did or said would hurt you.
To put it bluntly, it is to protect you, to love you wholeheartedly.
Unfortunately, I understood it too late. I was destined to miss you, and lose you forever.
Ying Heng】
How long is two years? 730 days, 17520 hours, 1051200 minutes, 63072000 seconds.
How much can I do? But it is enough for me to understand what is absolute trust.
It also taught me that a cracked relationship is like a mirror. Even if it's repaired, the reflection will still be split in half.
Xin Xin, I was wrong. I was really wrong. But I knew it was too late.
I am sorry. I said I would protect you. But after the apocalypse, I did not do it.
I am sorry. I said I believed you. But everything that happened later also emphasized that I did not do it.
I am sorry. The two years you gave me were destroyed by me.
Do you regret it? You probably do. But I had no choice. I also admit that I was weak.
I never told you that I had a twin brother. It was not that I did not like him, but I felt guilty.
When my brother was kidnapped, it was actually because of my willfulness. After school, I wanted to take my brother to eat cotton candy. That was why my brother was taken away and suffered.
After my brother came back, I was very happy and surrounded him every day.
But it was also because of me that I wanted to follow my brother to learn Taekwondo. When I was crossing the road, a car rushed over and my brother protected me.
He went to the beautiful heaven, but left me alone in hell.
I thought I had already forgotten it, but I always remembered it. I also never forgot my brother's request.
He said that if a very cute and kind girl came to me in the future, please help him take care of her. This was what he owed.
At that time, I did not understand what it meant, but I remembered that it was cute and kind.
So from then on, my subconscious had already determined that the girl I liked was cute and kind.
The first time I saw you, I was moved. You had a clean temperament. When you smiled, there were two small dimples on your cheeks. You were very cute.
You could not bear to hurt a small animal. So kind.
At that time, I thought that you were the lover that the heavens had made for me. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with you.
Before the apocalypse, we were very happy, and after the apocalypse, we were also very happy.
That was until Mu Lan appeared. At that time, I also treated her differently because of the clean and kind feeling she gave me.
I never understood why she seemed to like following me around so much, but it was good to have such a mutant in the team.
I don't know when it started, but our relationship gradually drifted apart. Then, the matter of you bullying Mu Lan was exposed one by one.
When I saw it with my own eyes, my heart ached so much that I almost suffocated, because the beautiful image of you in my heart was shattered.
I chose to distance myself from you during that period of time, but if I had known the outcome, I definitely wouldn't have made such a foolish decision.
Some mistakes really needed a lifetime to make up for.
I trusted Mu Lan. After she returned to the Mo family, I was worried that she would be bullied. That was why I agreed to your father's engagement.
Actually, that was just a temporary measure. I didn't take it to heart at all.
When I met you again, my heart kept beating because it had never forgotten you.
It was like a person who had been blindfolded suddenly lifting the blindfold and seeing a different scene.
Do you know what I was thinking when Xunmi helped you beat me up?
I was thinking that if an outsider could trust you without hesitation, why couldn't I, who had been with you for so many years, trust you?
Thinking back to everything that happened after, I really felt that I was the kind of scumbag that Xunmi had described.
I always thought that we still had a chance, that we could still be together forever.
As long as I understood what it meant to have absolute trust. But when I finally understood, another mountain pressed down on me.
The girl that big brother talked about back then had appeared. She was Mu Lan.
I also understood why she kept circling around me. I understood why she was so agitated by my reaction.
I understood why she kept trying to frame you. It was all because she thought that I was big brother Ying Heng.
I still remember when I was little, I asked my mother why big brother and I were both called Ying Heng. It sounded like we were calling the same person.
My mother lovingly patted my head and said that it was because you two were originally one. The eternal Heng hoped that Little Heng could live forever.
The balanced Heng hoped that Little Heng wouldn't have any worries. If everything could be balanced and stable, nothing bad would happen.
No matter if it was Little Heng or Little Heng, you two had to support each other. When one of you couldn't walk anymore, the other would take over and continue walking.
So after big brother left, I took over his path and walked on the path of the family's successor.
To me, my big brother who had always protected me was like a god in my world.
I would never reject anything he said, including taking care of the little girl in his heart.
Now that the little girl had grown up, she was infatuated with the wrong person and had become so crazy.
I asked Xunmi for help and made all the extra things on her disappear. She stood there silently and smiled as if we were meeting for the first time.
But as soon as I left her sight, she would become crazy. She would smash things and hurt herself.
"Big Brother Ying, Big Brother Ying, where are you? Where are you?"
"Peng peng peng." The sound of things breaking came from the room.
The man who was writing at the corner of the balcony quickly put away his book and walked in. "I'm here."
A girl in white with messy hair immediately rushed over and hugged the man. She smiled foolishly.
"Lan Lan was very obedient today. I didn't get hurt." The girl seemed to think of something and quickly held the man's hand and said happily.
The man rubbed her hair and replied with a smile, "En, Lan Lan was very obedient today."
"Then as a reward, I'll take you out for a walk." The weather outside was pretty good.
Holding the girl's hand, we walked on the street. Everywhere was peaceful and there was no longer the dispirited and miserable scene from the first few years.
A girl in a light blue dress walked over. When she saw the two of us, she was stunned for a moment. Then, she smiled and nodded, then walked past us.
I hurriedly turned around and looked at her back. I opened my mouth to say something, but I realized that my face was covered in tears. The tears slipped into my mouth and I tasted bitterness.
Just like my heart at that moment.
Xin Xin, I really want to be with you, but it's a pity that we can't have it both ways.
Tell me, is my choice right or wrong?
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