[Love has always started to ferment when it was young and inexperienced. It could grow into the richness of a flower or fade into the dullness of a withered leaf.
When you fall in love with someone and can't forget them after breaking up, it doesn't necessarily mean that you still love them. It could be an obsession or a habit that you can't forget.
Just like me, foolishly chasing a person, unwilling to let go, just want to wait for him.
— — — Gu Yuyan]
At the age of sixteen, it was the age where one would first experience the awakening of love.
At that time, he was a scholar with a lofty heart.
It was at that age that I met him.
It was a habit that I loved for two years and was obsessed with for three years. In the end, it became an unforgettable habit.
How long is two years? Let me tell you, it's very short.
When he was with his lover, every minute and every second felt like a race against time.
Because sweetness and happiness always made people want to do everything they could to keep it. They didn't want it to slip away from their fingertips.
But in the end, I forgot that happiness was like quicksand between my fingers. The more I clenched it, the faster it slipped away.
However, if he didn't hold it tightly, it would be blown away by the wind.
I never thought that the love between him and me would be so fragile.
I admit that I was too neurotic, and that was why I went to such extremes.
Seeing that there were other beautiful girls around him, she couldn't help but feel jealous. She couldn't help but step forward and question him loudly.
In the end, this kind of behavior caused me to lose him.
Did he regret it?
No, I don't regret it.
Even though I know I did wrong, but I don't regret, because I just use my way to maintain my love.
It's just that I used the wrong method, so I chose to change.
Fei Fei always thought that I broke up with her because someone else intervened. No matter how I explained, she thought that I was too kind.
At one point, because of that girl who was suspected to be involved, we almost caused a rift in our friendship.
At that time, I clearly understood that even if a third person didn't do anything, the feelings between two people would still change slightly.
No matter how beautiful a relationship was, it required many factors to accumulate. In the end, it would be so strong that no one could match it.
Or, it would be so weak that it would collapse with a single blow.
The moment I understood, I rejoiced. I rejoiced that I didn't walk into a demon's trap, nor did I fall into confusion.
In order to divert my attention, Fei Fei and I created Beautiful Sounds.
Before I could react, I ran to the Ancient Wind Channel to control the situation.
It was because that person liked to sing, and also liked to sing ancient songs.
I once said to him, listening to your songs, my whole world can be illuminated.
He said, Then sing only for me.
In the end, it was just a casual joke.
Every day, I would be stationed in the Ancient Wind Channel, listening to the songs he used to sing being sung by different people.
It was clearly just as pleasant to listen to and just as likable, but it just made me feel like something was missing.
Until one day, a familiar voice rang out, shocking my ears and disturbing my already restless heart.
For the next two years, I showed up at the exact time he was supposed to sing.
Gradually, I realized that my initial heartbeat was gone, but when I thought of that person, my heart was still burning.
At that time, I didn't quite understand what it was. I only knew that I had always liked him.
Until now, perhaps it had become an obsession that could not be erased.
When I was joking about Yao Tao and him in the chat, I couldn't help but turn on the voice chat and say, "Yao Tao doesn't deserve him."
I know I was impulsive, but I really couldn't help it.
From then on, I realized that as long as I appeared, he would leave after singing.
Or he wouldn't sing at all, saying that he had something to do and leaving.
I was silent, my heart aching.
He must have heard my voice, which was why he was avoiding me.
I didn't want to make things difficult for him, so I didn't appear often. Even if I did, I would choose to appear when he wasn't around.
But my actions were faster than my rationality. I opened a side account and put on a Glazed Dream vest to wait for him.
What happened next, I really didn't expect it to be so dramatic.
My cousin found the person he loved, but it also helped me meet him again.
Five years later, his eyes were still so gentle.
But they were even more dazzling and attracted my attention.
In the past few years, it wasn't that no one had pursued me, nor was there a lack of people who were better than him.
There were even some who were similar to him, but they didn't move me at all.
Because I clearly understood one thing, they weren't him.
And the only one I wanted was him.
I didn't know when it started, but I got used to this kind of attention.
I got used to this kind of persistence, used to waiting for him, used to looking forward to the day when he would return to my side.
Habits were really scary things.
Now that I could be close to him again, it felt like I had waited for a long time and finally got what I wanted.
But I wasn't too excited, only calm and a kind of warmth that refreshed the heart.
This was no longer a type of love. It was a deeper type of affection that he was used to.
As usual, I hung up the melodious sound. Today there was his preface.
After we played in the Ancient Wind Channel that day, although our relationship hadn't been revealed, the two of us seemed to know each other.
As soon as I entered, I heard Xunmi's voice.
"Yanyu, you're here. I'm really looking forward to it."
Then Yu Shufei's voice sounded. "Yeah, some people are really looking forward to it."
I listened in confusion. I didn't understand. Did they take the wrong medicine or didn't take the wrong medicine?
This was Xunmi's favorite sentence. After getting familiar with her, everyone was more or less influenced by her.
"Okay, let's stop fooling around. Yanyu, today is your birthday, so we organized a special program for you."
As soon as Xunmi finished speaking, Yu Shufei continued, "Yes, yes, yes, you don't have to thank us too much."
Then, a voice that she was familiar with came from the earpiece. It was still as clear and elegant as ever.
"I'm always heartbroken. I can't compromise with love. I'm always greedy for the past. I don't leave any room for love."
"I'm always longing for love, but I always cry until dawn … I'm always afraid that my love for you is too deep, but my love for you is so real."
...
"Yu Yan, maybe love has become a habit now, but I still want to tell you that I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
The recitation of a broken mirror and the heavy hoarseness of his voice was mixed with gentleness and bitterness. In an instant, tears fell from my eyes.
It turned out that I wasn't the only one who was used to having you in my world.
Bi Yanbo, we have been together since we were 16 years old. Now, we are 23 years old.
I finally heard the words that could engrave my life. My tears had already blurred my vision.
"Yanbo, I'm so glad that I didn't give up."
I'm also glad that we still have each other in our hearts.
Even if this is just a habit of entangling with each other, it can't erase the recognition of each other.
… …
[Someone once asked me, why can we still reconcile with each other after having so many feelings?
Even if a broken mirror is repaired, the traces will always be there, and it can't be erased.
I replied, "Because we were together before. We understood each other and knew each other.
When we lose each other, we will look for each other little by little in our lives.
If we don't meet a more suitable person, slowly, that person will become an obsession. "
When he thinks of her, he will feel that it's normal. When she meets him, her gaze will naturally fall on him.
It's just a habit.]
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