Chapter 1733
Words:817Update:22/11/04 20:19:09
I have to leave for a while. It might be a little long. I'm sorry, everyone. As for the purpose, it might be a little forceful to say that it's for a living, but there's one thing I really mean: I'm going to create a better environment for writing.
Sometimes, I feel very humble. Looking at the great works that are full of wisdom, most of them were carved out of suffering. They have the tenacity to emerge from the mud without being stained. For example, Mr. Su Shi, who I admire the most, because he was too talented, he was envied and framed by others. His incomparably open-minded mind had accepted countless evil intentions from the world. When he arrived at Wutai Poetry Case, he escaped death with the help of many friends. Two years after he was banished to Huangzhou, he wrote the eternal masterpiece Remembering the Slave Bridge: Remembering the Past at the Red Cliff. At this time, Mr. Su's poems were already talking to the world. It was a height that I could not reach at the moment. In comparison, I, who made all kinds of compromises just because of the current situation, was really not worthy.
However, standing at my height, I could only make the choice that I had the ability to do at the moment. To make an inappropriate example, Mr. Su could become an official because he passed the Jinshi examination. The ancient Jinshi was equivalent to the top scorer in the college entrance examination. I didn't even take the college entrance examination.
I could only do what was within my ability. Within my ability, the choice that I could make might not be the best, but it would definitely be the most suitable for me at this stage.
Therefore, even if it was humble, I had to do it. Therefore, rather than saying it was for a living, it was better to say that it was for a better life.
Occasionally, I would see this kind of argument: Was I writing for money? My original intention was to leave a little bit of my mark in this world.
Whether it was thoughts or works, I didn't want to leave no trace after a hundred years. However, in the process, for this original intention, I gave up a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot … really a lot!
But what I've obtained so far is very, very little, very, very little, very, very little … really very little!
After all, I wasn't a banished immortal. My heart would feel unbalanced.
"PS (Complaints)". In the process, I was constantly struggling.
"Commercialization" and
"Self" struggled. I couldn't find a balance between the two. However, no matter how many times I struggled, in the end, I would return to
"Self". In the end, I still chose to express what I wanted to express and gave up on catering to the market.
I don't want to make money? I've given up so much and invested so much effort. Of course, I hope to get the returns I deserve. It's just that reality is too cruel.
I want to make money? I would always argue with the readers. Whatever the readers didn't want to read, I would write. I knew that the readers would like it, but I just didn't want to.
So, did I do it for the money? Actually, I also want to know the answer to this question. Finally, I don't know if you will still be there when I return. I hope you will still be there, but I know it is an extravagant hope.
The only thing I can promise is that 'Toppling Beauty' will be completed. I wish everyone a bright future, Bai Yi saluted.
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