Which world does the wind come from? It carries the smell of smoke and night grass. The wind is no longer transparent. It carries a thin layer of smoke. It floats over and floats into her pale little hands.
Little hands …
She looks down at her hands. When did her hands become so small and thin? They are as thin as chicken claws. Her nails are full of sawdust.
Sawdust …
Where did the sawdust come from? She remembers her hands. Her fingers are long and slender, and her nails are clean. When did she pick up sawdust?
The sawdust rustles down and falls on her head. She looks up and sees the dark horizontal board above her head. It exudes the smell of ordinary wood and slight decay.
There are boards on all four sides. They are as long as an arm and as high as two arms. She stretches her arm to measure them. In fact, she doesn't need to measure them. This is the length that she knows by heart. She is so familiar with it that even with her eyes closed, she knows that there is a dot-shaped dark scar on the board behind her near the mortise. There is also a small protrusion at the bottom of the board. It used to be an uneven protrusion. After years of caressing, it has long become as smooth as a date egg.
Date egg … In a trance, she feels that she has never seen this thing before.
Why hasn't she seen it before?
She looks down as if she has realized something. She looks down at her own small arms and feet. She looks at the cloth rope tied to her feet. She sees the almost eternal darkness that wraps around her. Not far in front of the darkness, the copper bell under the eaves of the palace tinkles, sending the quiet sound into this even quieter narrow world. She doesn't know where the light of the palace lantern comes from. It is light purple and hazy. Every day, this lantern is lit for six hours, from five o 'clock to nine o' clock. Then it is extinguished. At that time, she should grope her way to sleep in the silent darkness.
When she sleeps, there is no mattress or pillow. There are only rags and cotton padding. In summer, there is not even rags and cotton padding. She sleeps naked in the stuffy darkness. She sweats all over, soaking the wooden board under her. After a long time, the wooden board becomes darker, like the black of a bottomless abyss.
The stuffy, narrow, and airless space was still buzzing with mosquitoes, silently stabbing him one after another like needles. He could only keep turning over and desperately scratching himself until he fell asleep. After sleeping for four to six hours, he was woken up by the heat. His chest felt stuffy and uncomfortable, and he opened his mouth wide to gasp for air like a dehydrated fish. When he touched his body, he found that there were red spots all over his body. Some of them were prickly heat, and some of them were scratches. When they were soaked in sweat, he felt a burning pain.
There are many places on her body with bedsores — a person without any disease will have bedsores.
Therefore, in summer, she looks forward to winter, as if the dryness and coolness of winter is salvation. However, when winter really comes, she finds that the harsh winter is no less unbearable than the heat of the summer. The wind comes in from all directions, and the thin wooden board can't block it. The wind scrapes against her skin like a small knife, and then cracks into her bones. Her bones creak as they grind against each other. There is ice in the gaps between her bones. She wraps all the old rags and cotton padding on her body and shrinks her body into the smallest possible ball. However, she still can't resist the bone-chilling cold. It's so cold … so cold … She is worried that she will freeze to arthritis at such a young age.
However, she can't speak, can't ask for bedding, can't ask for a fan, can't call out, can't … step out of this locked cabinet.
Yes, the cabinet.
Since she has memories of this life, it has always existed, and it intends to exist like this forever.
Living in the cabinet … Child.
The whole world is a square cabinet that is one arm wide and two arms long. She can't stand, she can only squat, and she can never sleep straight. She opens the bedding and digs a hole under it. She pees in the hole.
Outside the cabinet, the flowers, the birds, the light footsteps, the freedom to stretch, the cheerful words, and the beautiful spring scenery.
It has nothing to do with the world inside the cabinet.
Someone knocks on the cabinet lightly. There are three familiar knocks, one light and two heavy. Then, two cold and hard steamed buns are stuffed into the gap above.
A woman's face flashes through the gap. She is young and beautiful, but her face is haggard because she has been living in fear for a long time.
Her eyes are filled with pain and sorrow, and they are full of heavy depression. It is as if tears will fall at the slightest touch. She stares at her through the gap, and in those eyes, she sees a familiar shrunken version of herself.
Everything is so familiar.
It is so familiar that it is deeply ingrained in her blood. It is so familiar that it is shocking. It is as if a white lightning suddenly strikes in the dark sky, and in an instant, her dream soul and her past body are split apart!
This is not her now!
This is the five-year-old Meng Fuyao, and this is the five-year-old Feng Wuming.
Nameless, nameless.
A palace maid who was unintentionally favored by the Emperor, who gave birth to an imperial daughter. No one gave her a name.
No one even gave her a chance to live.
The Emperor appointed a new empress. The new empress is jealous and does not allow anyone to receive the Emperor's favor. She does not allow anyone to give birth to the Emperor's children. She gives birth to one every year, but the women in the imperial harem are sterilized. If anyone dares to seduce the Emperor and give birth to a descendant of the Emperor, they will die the most horrible death in the world.
However, that year, Xu Wan, the palace maid who combs Concubine Ying's hair, got pregnant.
No one knows why she got pregnant. Perhaps the Emperor passed by the palace one day and saw a beautiful palace maid with her hair in her sleeves. Her slender arms were like lotus roots, and her eyes were as charming as spring. Perhaps the Empress became pregnant every year, but did not allow the Emperor to shower the imperial harem with love. The Emperor, who is in the prime of his life, had a hard time enduring the long night. Perhaps he met a slender woman in a willow tree, and pressed her down in the green grass …
It is all just a possibility. There will never be a living person to verify it. Just like the old stories scattered in the blood-colored palace, they have long decayed into ashes, and no one can ever pick them up again.
Ten months later, Feng Wuming was born in this world.
She will always remember the first time she saw him in this world.
She saw a house without lights. She saw the pale woman who cut the placenta with a pair of scissors in the blood. She saw a small jade lotus floating in the blood. She heard the silent moans that she covered with a blanket. She smelled the smell of blood that filled the air. She felt the tear-stained face pressed against her own. She choked and said, "Child, don't cry … You can't cry … If you cry, we will die … I beg you, don't cry …"
So she became the first newborn who did not cry. In order to save the life of the woman and herself.
Many times later, in those five long hellish years, she thought countless times that it was better to cry. Really, it was better to cry. Sometimes, death is really more comfortable than living.
Why did she not cry at that time?
After that, she really could not cry even if she wanted to.
Her mother in this life raised her in the cupboard.
Five years.
From the time she fell to the grass until she was five years old.
When she was five years old, she was as young as a three-year-old child. Because she bent her waist and shrunk her legs for a long time, all the joints in her body were deformed. As a result, when she was five years old, her master desperately forced her to practice martial arts, using high-intensity martial arts to stretch and train her bones. She practiced so hard, even harder than ordinary people, because she did not stand on the same starting line as ordinary people.
Which world did the wind come from? It carried with it the smell of ashes and night grass. The ashes were the smoke from the stove in the backyard, and the night grass was the spring grass growing under the house. It was green, as long as a ribbon, and sparkling with dew. She had never seen it before. Her mother squatted by the cupboard and whispered to her. As she listened, she tried hard to find any impression of grass in the memories of her previous life. In the five years of darkness, most of the time, what she saw was either the light of an oil lamp or the light and shadow of a corner of a purple palace lamp in the distance. Although many of the memories of her previous life could still be remembered clearly during the long period of loneliness, the impression of many objects had become blurred. She even thought for a long time before she could remember what grass was.
Every night, her mother would often lean against the cupboard and murmur some things to her, such as the current situation of the five continents and seven countries. She would say whatever came to her mind. She seemed to be afraid that this daughter of hers would go crazy from the miserable confinement, so she tried hard to find time to communicate with her. As she spoke, she only wanted to instill in her little daughter something that belonged to the world outside the cupboard. However, she did not know that every word she said, her daughter would answer, speak, ask, and answer, but there was no sound.
She could not speak. She could only use silent words to speak to her mother in this life through the cupboard.
There were some very important words that she felt she had to say, but every time she uttered a single syllable, her mother would immediately walk away quickly, leaving her with her mouth open and a face of sorrow and despair in the endless darkness.
As her mother spoke, she suddenly sighed softly and said in a low voice, "My child … You are the imperial daughter born of Hanlian … You should be the noblest princess of the Xuanji royal family … Sometimes I really don't understand the will of the heavens … Why … Why …" She got up and seemed to rummage around under the mattress on the bed. She found something and passed it to her through the crack at the bottom of the cupboard.
She held it in her hand. It was a small, faint jade-colored flower, and its shape indeed resembled a lotus flower. However, she immediately laughed mockingly in the darkness — It was most likely a stone, right?
Who had ever seen the noblest princess born of Hanlian in the five continents raised in a cupboard, unable to see anyone for the rest of her life, and only able to eat one or two cold steamed buns a day?
This damned lotus flower was nothing but a cold mockery.
She swung her hand and threw the lotus flower out. Her mother caught it in a panic and repeatedly stomped her feet, blaming her for being insensible. Then, she carefully hid it back and leaned against the cupboard, saying with a little fascination, "… Perhaps one day, you can use this to prove your identity …"
Identity? Identity was the most boring thing in this world. She did not need the status of a princess. If she could use this lotus flower to exchange for freedom, she would immediately kneel down and kowtow to that lotus flower!
More than freedom? More than darkness? More than hunger? More than a painful life of never being able to straighten and never being able to come into contact with sunlight? There was also the most cruel, most painful, and most unbearable torture in this world that she could not say or resist. Yet, she had to silently endure the humiliation and torture every day!
Holy lotus flower! Filthy hands!
She hated that damned auspicious sign from the bottom of her heart and since then, she had completely forgotten about it.
… She squatted in the wind of that smell and played with the sawdust in her fingers. She was very careful when picking the sawdust. Once, she accidentally made a little too loud. Coincidentally, there was someone in her mother's room. That woman came over to look suspiciously. Her mother rushed over to block the cupboard and said with a trembling voice that it was a mouse. From the gap at the bottom of the cupboard, she saw that the floor was slowly becoming wet. That position was under her mother's skirt.
From then on, she even picked the sawdust very artistically. She used her saliva to slowly wet the sawdust and dug it out bit by bit. She dug it out and squeezed it into a ball. She imagined that it was a chicken leg, chicken leg … She had not eaten it for many years. Ying Fei was very strict with the palace maids. Their food was barely enough to fill their stomachs. Once they made a mistake, they would often go hungry. Thus, after a long time, she could predict Ying Fei's mood today based on the number of steamed buns that came in. Two steamed buns: normal. One steamed bun: depressed and picky. No steamed bun: furious and the palace maids were punished. When there were no steamed buns, they would listen to each other's stomachs growling. Sometimes, her mother would reach her hand in to comfort her, but she would immediately push it away. Her mother would then think that she was angry. She would sit in front of the cupboard and wait until midnight. Then, she would secretly go to the kitchen to find a steamed bun skin and a relatively intact leftover food from the bucket. She had more than half and her mother had less than half.
Actually, leftover food was not bad. Without the smell of swill, at least there was oil.
… She squatted in the wind of that smell and sniffed her fingers that were full of sawdust. She missed the half a piece of ham skin that she stole when she was hungry last time.
The smell of the wind suddenly changed.
Fragrance.
The strange and noble fragrance was like the snow on a snow lotus on a very high mountain. It was cool and fragrant. It was so light that it could not be ignored as it drifted over. In an instant, all the strange smells in the world receded, leaving only that intoxicating fragrance.
She raised her head and tried hard to sniff it. She opened her mouth silently and said, "The fragrance of a king."
For many years, in order to not let herself completely lose the ability to speak, she kept talking, using her lips to silently open and close.
That fragrance suddenly became a little stronger. It had originally drifted far away, but it seemed to come closer.
She became nervous and shrank back into the cabinet.
This shrinkage seemed to confirm the location of the fragrance, and it moved directly towards the cabinet.
She became even more nervous. She was now only in the body of a five-year-old child. Trapped in the darkness for many years without nourishment, a five-year-old was not even as good as a three-year-old. Her feet were still firmly tied with cloth ropes. If she encountered evil intentions, she could only endure it. She had no ability to resist.
The fragrance stopped in front of the cabinet. From the gap at the bottom of the cabinet, she could see a pair of boots. They were light purple with silver edges. They were very exquisite, but they were a pair of small feet. They seemed to belong to a teenager.
The boots looked very luxurious. Could it be a prince in the palace?
She shrank even tighter. A child in distress was found and saved by a kind prince. That was a story that only existed in novels. It was a fairy tale made up by literati who had never experienced the suffering of the world. It was more likely that she and her mother would be discovered, and then they would face the most tragic death in the world.
The cabinet door suddenly opened.
It opened silently. She clearly remembered that there was a big lock on the cabinet, but now she didn't even hear the sound of the lock breaking.
The cabinet opened, and a thin line of sunlight was pulled open like a brocade.
First, she saw a delicate chin. Following the chin, she saw a teenager standing in the brocade, who was more beautiful and more gentle than the brocade. His elegance was also like a colorful brocade, spreading silently and openly between heaven and earth.
His eyes were also like a brocade, smooth and smooth. In an instant, he swept over her whole body — her small body, thin face, messy hair, and frightened eyes.
Her eyes, which had adapted to the darkness, were forced to squint by the sudden sunlight. A lot of tears came out. She looked at him through her blurred eyes, looking at his eyes that shone like the deep sea under the sunlight.
He seemed to feel that she couldn't suddenly receive too much sunlight, so he took a step forward and blocked the light.
Then he squatted down and asked her, "Who are you? Why are you sleeping in the cabinet? "
She looked at him a little awkwardly. She knew that the smell in the cabinet was really bad, and it was even more embarrassing in front of this fragrant teenager. However, he seemed to smell nothing and only focused on her.
At that moment, a thought suddenly flashed through her mind — lie, lie, she couldn't tell the truth. Since this person didn't know who she was, then he couldn't tell if she was lying.
"I can't see the wind." She suddenly opened her mouth and tried to answer clearly.
"Are you sick?" With a look of sudden realization, he looked at her body again. His eyes swept over her skinny hands and feet. She really did look like a sick child.
"Why don't you treat your illness?"
"I'm treating it." After all, she was an associate professor in her previous life, so she could lie easily. "The imperial physician said that I have to be locked in the cabinet for a month. I can't be exposed to the wind at all. "
The teenager smiled, and a trace of darkness flashed across his eyes. He suddenly said, "Are you also going to be locked in the dark room …"
She looked at him in shock, but he immediately changed the topic. "Who are you? The daughter of a palace maid? "
Her heart skipped a beat, and she immediately shook her head. "No."
He looked at her questioningly. Her heart raced, and she couldn't decide how to fabricate her identity. She turned her eyes and saw the jade ribbon hanging from his waist. The jade was engraved with the words "God bless Wuji, may you live long and prosper." She immediately understood that the teenager in front of her was not from Xuanji, but was probably a prince of Wuji.
She knew that Wuji was a big country next to Xuanji. Since he was a prince of another country, he must not be very familiar with the Xuanji palace. She sighed and said in a low voice, "I'm Her Majesty's youngest daughter."
He looked surprised and looked her up and down again. He probably couldn't see how she looked like a princess, but she calmly continued to lie. "I'm sick. Mother doesn't like me. She has never touched or hugged me before, so she gave me to the palace maids to raise."
The teenager fell silent, and the pain in his eyes returned. After a while, he said, "I heard that the youngest of the Xuanji princes is eight years old this year."
She began to have a headache. Why was this teenager so difficult to fool? She sighed and said, "Didn't you hear that my mother doesn't like me? My name isn't even on the official certificate. I've been frozen. "
The teenager looked at her with interest. He felt that this child was really interesting and did not seem like an ordinary child. He thought for a while and said, "What's your name?"
She shook her head and put on a depressed expression. The teenager immediately became suspicious again. His eyes clearly said, "I don't believe that no matter how unfavored you are, you can't not even have a name".
She had no choice but to indicate for him to go under the bedding. He hesitated a little but still went to do it. After a while, he turned his head back with a little lotus in his hand.
She raised her head and said proudly, "I'm the only princess of the Xuanji royal family who was born with a lotus." She then imitated the arrogant and disdainful look of the princesses in the television of her previous life and looked at him with her nostrils. "Auspicious things always happen to noble people."
He held the little lotus tightly in his palm and suddenly smiled. That smile was so bright and colorful that she was stunned. Then she heard him say, "Yes, the noblest princess."
He bent down with a smile and untied the cloth rope around her feet. He carried the 'noblest princess' out and carried her on his lap. She was very uncomfortable — — not to mention that no one had carried her for many years, even her soul, a twenty-two-year-old woman, really could not get used to suddenly being 'carried on a man's lap' as a child.
Then, the chest behind her was so warm and his movements so gentle. That pair of slender hands that were most suitable for cooking tea, writing poems and painting, when he played with her hair, it tickled her to the bottom of her heart. Like a silk string, it softened her taut consciousness and soul. She could not help but relax and sink herself into the warmest, rippling, coolest and most tolerant spring in the world.
He let her little head rest on his shoulder and took a comb from the table. First, he used his hands to carefully comb through her hair that had not been washed for a long time. Bit by bit, the hair was so tightly knotted that anyone who tried to comb it would inevitably hurt their scalp, but she did not feel a trace of pain.
She could not help but find it funny. He looked like he was only in his teens. In her previous life, wasn't a teenager the wildest, most naughty and most rebellious age? Wasn't he the age that liked to cause trouble and especially liked to go against girls? But this young man was as calm as water and as gentle as water. When he untied her hair, his hand was like picking fallen flowers. She forced herself to tilt her head to look at him in that comfort, but she could only see his straight nose, delicate jaw and rosy, soft and beautiful curved lips. She wanted to take another look at his beauty, but her head was lightly patted by him. She heard his faint smile, "So naughty."
She smiled at him. She suddenly felt that this person, who was different from others, who had lost his youthful liveliness, was probably like her, cold and vicissitudes of life. Just like her, he was always smiling. But that smile was lonely and lonely. It was extracted from the darkness, washed from the loneliness, and stripped from the long sigh. No matter how she looked at it, it was painful.
He treated her like this, was it because he felt that they were the same kind of people?
He tidied up her messy hair and gently combed it. After that, he tried to braid her hair. However, as a noble prince who lived like a prince, he could handle combing his hair, but braiding was a big test. He worked for a long time before he managed to braid her hair into a crooked braid. He also put on a small jade lotus hairpin, but the braid was too ugly and the flower was crooked. He looked at the failed product and sighed. He wanted to start again, but she stopped him. She rubbed her head and smiled at him.
"It's pretty." She softly said, "No one has ever braided my hair before."
He looked at her and the pain and shock in his eyes returned. After a while, he said, "These days … Don't you want to get rid of them? I'll help you talk to the emperor and empress, okay? "
She pretended not to understand and asked, "Who are you, how can you talk to the emperor?"
"I came from next door." He pointed to the south, indicating the distant 'next door'. He said, "I passed by here with Shishu. Shishu went to visit an old friend, so I waited for him to have nothing to do and wander around. But I can also go directly to the Xuanji emperor."
She rolled her eyes. Even if he was a prince, he was a prince from another country. How could a prince from another country who was passing by interfere with the internal affairs of Xuanji? How could the Xuanji emperor, who was afraid of his wife, take the risk of being annoyed by his wife to acknowledge her and give her a normal life? It was impossible. The biggest possibility was that both mother and daughter had been completely killed.
"No need." She shook her head and lied. "The nanny said that mother has already asked about me. I can probably go out now. It's not good to anger mother if you go and ask."
He nodded and said, "Your date of birth?"
She knew this. Her mother had told her over and over again through the cupboard, afraid that she wouldn't remember "the noblest princess is the noblest time to fall from grace." She had told it to him. He thought for a moment, then stood up and searched the room. After much difficulty, he found half a bald brush and half a piece of old ink. He looked for paper, but he couldn't find it. He thought for a moment, then took off his outer robe. Inside, there was an undergarment made of the same material. It was glowing with dark patterns. He tore off half a piece of cloth and quickly ground the ink.
He wrote and stopped, sometimes thinking. He seemed to have written a lot of words. She looked over curiously and her eyes immediately widened.
The Xuanji map!
In front of her was clearly a military map of the Four Stars, but after a simple reading, she was already able to decipher some very intricate military tactics.
Who was he? How could there be such a genius? It was already very difficult to write an ordinary poem in a hurry, not to mention the exquisite and profound Xuanji map of Xuanji, which could be read vertically, vertically, and diagonally?
Her surprise must have alarmed him. He turned to look at her with a questioning gaze. She immediately put away her shock and pretended to be confused and slow-witted — a child of only a few years old should not be able to recognize the Xuanji map, let alone understand its mysteries and mysteries.
After he finished writing the map, he tore it into two and handed one half to her. She took it in confusion. He smiled and said, "A keepsake."
She took it silently and thought, What keepsake? From now on, you will live a luxurious life as a prince, while I will squat in the cabinet and endure my eternal darkness. Will there be any interaction between us?
She turned back to look at the cabinet and did not want to go back in again. She suddenly had an idea and said, "Take me out to have a look. I want to see the scenery outside."
She planned to let him take her out and slip away when he was not paying attention. From then on, she would be free.
He complied, wrapped her tightly in his cloak, and carried her out. Through the chinks of the cloak she could see that the room in which she had spent the last five years was a small room, with a curtain covering the front of the cupboard. She could see that the palace outside consisted of three entrances, with pale yellow walls and a crimson door.
She was delighted and waited for him to leave the palace so that she could slip away, but he suddenly stiffened.
Then he stopped moving, as if he was listening to something. She fidgeted uneasily in his arms. He pressed down on her head so tightly that she felt nervous for no reason and immediately stopped moving.
Then she heard a low voice. It seemed to be his, but the tone was very low. He said, "I have something to do first, so I will take you back first. Later … … I will come pick you up, okay?"
She was a little disappointed, but right now her freedom was in someone else's hands. She could only nod her head obediently. He sent her back to the small room. Her mother had not returned yet. She leaned against the window and watched him fly over the high wall. Her eyes were filled with envy for the freedom that was like a swan goose flying high. Suddenly, he turned around in midair.
The youth's black hair fluttered and his eyes flashed. She saw his lips move. One word at a time, she read his lips.
"Wait for me to come find you."
The autumn sun shined brightly and the youth's eyes were sincere. She met those eyes and nodded with trust. She believed that he would do what he said. So she looked around and took down the jade lotus flower and placed it under the bed. For the first time, she was willing to go back to the cabinet and wait for him to come back.
But he did not come.
He never came again.
Because that night, she lost herself.
The wind came from which world. It carried with it a bloody and strange smell. That smell … that smell …
She hugged her knees and waited in the darkness, waiting more and more hopelessly. Suddenly, she heard the sound of footsteps. She was delighted, thinking that he had come. She subconsciously wanted to rush out, but she heard an unfamiliar girl's voice saying, "Didn't you say you saw him here? Where is he? "
More footsteps could be heard. She was so scared that she did not dare to breathe. She seemed to hear someone replying to the girl's words. The voice was very low, but after a while, she heard a crisp sound of a slap.
Then the girl said slowly, "I really don't know why the Xuanji Imperial Palace keeps you? It would be too polite to describe you as trash. "
She seemed to be in a very bad mood. After she ordered those people to leave, the surroundings quieted down. She hoped that the girl would leave quickly. Otherwise, if he came and saw that there were outsiders, he would not be able to save her.
The surroundings were silent for a long time. She thought that the girl had left. Just as she moved, she suddenly heard footsteps coming towards the side room. That girl had entered the room.
She paced back and forth in the room, seemingly very irritated. She said in a low voice, "Uncle Yu Heng said he came, why didn't he enter the palace? Doesn't he know that I have wanted to see him for a long time? Hasn't he heard of me? The most legendary Imperial Prince of the Five States, shouldn't he see the most noble Little Princess of the Five States? "
Little Princess … the last daughter of the Xuanji Empress? She was a princess.
The most legendary Imperial Prince of the Five States … was he?
She thought over and over inside. It seemed that this little princess was very interested in him? That's right. Such a bright youth didn't just have peerless looks, his intelligence could be seen in a few words. He also wrote the peerless Xuanji Painting. Which young girl wouldn't admire him? The Imperial Families of the Five States married very early. At his age, he could already be engaged.
As she thought this, she suddenly found that there was no sound around her. Then her gaze moved down and she found that she hadn't properly stuffed the Xuanji Painting. That half of the robe floated down from her bosom and landed halfway on the ground under the cupboard.
Her mind exploded. For a moment, she didn't know if she should pick it up or ignore it. She wasn't sure if the little princess had seen this painting. If the little princess was quiet right now because she was staring at this painting, if she picked it up, wouldn't that be exposing herself?
Yet before she could think, the cupboard door silently opened again.
This time, it opened even more suddenly. She didn't even hear the sound of footsteps. She saw a golden-red dress, embroidered with layers of hibiscus flowers, spread out in front of her eyes. That dress was decorated with countless pearls and dazzling five colors.
Then she heard a light sound of "Hm." A snow-white little hand reached in and lifted her chin in an irresistible manner.
Then she looked into a pair of eyes.
It was a pair of limpid eyes. They weren't pure black, but had a hint of brown. The color of her eyes was deep and distant, as if she had seen a deep coastline on a distant shore, or a ray of starlight rising thousands of miles away from the mountains. It seemed to be calm and still, but when she ran towards it, she found that it was swaying and overturning.
It was a very special and very beautiful pair of eyes. The light that flickered in those eyes was also indescribable. It wasn't the warmth and touch of that young man, nor was it the grief and helplessness of occasionally seeing his mother. Instead, it was treacherous and unfathomable.
She used that slightly insulting gesture to lift her chin and slowly asked, "Who are you?"
This time, she couldn't fool her anymore. She remained silent and turned her head away.
That girl didn't ask anymore. She looked around her, then looked at the furnishings around her. Slowly, understanding flashed across her eyes. She nodded and sneered, "Good, good."
Then the girl's gaze fell on that half of the Map of Four Stars. When she saw it, her eyes instantly brightened and her expression changed. She carefully scanned the map again and again, then closed her eyes as if she was silently memorizing it, and also as if she was experiencing it. Then, she tried to stuff the map into her bosom.
She immediately panicked and reached out to snatch it away. Her fingernails that hadn't been cut for a long time flew across the back of the girl's snow-white hand, leaving five distinct bloody marks.
She didn't care and hurriedly stuffed the map into her bosom.
That girl was stunned, as if she didn't expect that Ji Yunshu would snatch it away. She stared at Ji Yunshu and slowly raised her eyebrows. When she raised her eyebrows, she no longer looked calm and gentle like before. There was a very strong murderous aura around her. The murderous aura of such a child was so frightening that even the twenty-two-year-old girl trembled.
Then, that girl smiled.
She smiled, but there was no smile in her eyes. They were as cold as a steel needle. Suddenly, she flicked her sleeve and brushed it against her face.
"What rare thing?" She smiled. "He wrote it? You snatched it for this? No wonder you said that you saw someone here but then disappeared. He saw you? He saw you? "
She repeated the last sentence twice. The second time she said it, it was completely cold, as if she was fiddling with pieces of ice on a bed of ice.
"You? Just you? " She looked up and down at the child in the cabinet. There was mockery and anger at being defeated by such a person at the corner of her lips. After a while, she suddenly smiled again.
This smile was almost gentle, and even a little compassionate. It bloomed like a flower in the simple and crude side room. Then, she said very gently, "I think, I don't need to personally take that map out of your bosom. It's really too dirty."
She smiled and closed the cabinet door. She took out a lock from somewhere and locked it with a click. The moment the light and shadow closed, she said,
"You will obediently give it to me."
The cabinet was locked. Her gorgeous dress swept through the light and shadow of the sunlight, reflecting the colorful light. Then, it slowly moved away. That noble princess didn't say anything else and actually walked away just like that.
She sighed in relief. Hugging her shoulders, she sank into the darkness and continued to wait quietly.
This little princess was not a good person. She was afraid that something bad would happen. Yet, she was completely helpless. She could only hug her knees and squat in the darkness, waiting for the unknown fate.
Hope he can come, hope he can come …
Footsteps came from outside again. This time, she didn't move. She could hear that it was her mother's footsteps, and they were slightly urgent.
After her mother's footsteps, there was another person's footsteps. It was also familiar, hateful, and extremely hateful!
She suddenly started to tremble. Her body was cold and hot. It was like sand grinding against her throat until it seemed like blood was spurting out.
No, no, no, no!
The conversation outside could be faintly heard.
"… Her Highness summoned me. I've already gone off duty. I don't know what else is going on. Eunuch Lu … please look after me …"
"Alright! Don't worry and go. "An honest voice said.
"… I trouble you every time …" Her mother seemed to be wiping away her tears. "When she was born, it was also because of your help … there's nothing to thank you for …"
"Why are you saying this?" That honest and kind voice was always so kind. Yet, she felt waves of disgust when she heard it. She trembled all over. Countless things rose from her stomach and rushed to her throat, but she couldn't spit them out. They were stuck in her throat, giving off a pungent smell. She couldn't breathe. She sank bit by bit in that suffocation, but she couldn't sink completely. She could only struggle endlessly in the darkness and hatred. She scratched endlessly for help until her chest was a bloody mess …
Don't let him come over! Don't let him come over! I beg you, don't let him come over!
She silently tossed and turned in the cupboard. Cold sweat dripped down her back. Every time, she would completely lose the ability to speak. The swarm of words blocked her heart. The world was collapsing and collapsing, drowning her.
Her mother couldn't hear her soundless roars and cries for help. She hurried out with a heart full of unease.
This time, she couldn't come back on her own.
The heavy footsteps and the sound of the wide soles landing on the ground were getting closer and closer, mixed with strange, excited, and evil laughter.
Don't come over! Don't come over! Don't come over! I beg you, don't come over!
The soundless cries and tossing and turning could not save her from the misery of the past five years, just like the thousands of days and nights.
The purple robe fell on the ground under the gap. A pair of big feet in black cloth shoes. It was the nightmarish person she often saw in the past few years.
A pair of pale, slender fingers emitted the unique smell of urine of a eunuch. Slowly, like a snake, it reached into the gap at the bottom of the cupboard.
Reached in …
Like a snake, it wriggled and probed. With its rare slender fingers, it skillfully and easily searched for the body of the young child in the darkness.
She shivered, clamped her legs, and desperately shrunk to the corner of the cupboard. Just like many times in the past, she wished she could shrink into the smelly wood and turn into dust, wood chips, and air. Everything was good, but she didn't want to become herself.
That snake slithered away silently … In the darkness, she burst into tears and banged her head on the cupboard. You promised me that you would come back to find me. You promised! Why didn't you come back? Why didn't you come back?!
The pale and slender fingers slowly crawled up her body. The snake would sometimes crawl up her body, and then it would move away again …
The eunuch seemed to enjoy the process of searching and escaping, as if it was a rare and interesting game in the boring and empty life of a eunuch. A lowly eunuch who was neither a man nor a woman could also control other people's wills and … bodies.
In front of the young child, who was weaker and more powerless than him, he found the strength he had lost long ago.
That was the greatest compensation for the tragedy of his life.
He laughed excitedly, his slender, pale fingers moving slowly until he finally had enough and lost his patience. Then, with great precision, he touched the spot that he had already found …
"Ah!"
= =
"Ah!"
She jumped up from the bed and onto the ground, knocking over the table, trampling over the chair, tearing the curtains and extinguishing the lights. She screamed her lungs out.
Tangled in a pile of bedding, she ran out of the room with a face full of sweat. At that moment, there was no white in her eyes, only darkness, endless darkness.
Endless darkness, the unbearable weight of life!
The thousands of days and nights of living in the wooden cabinet, the endless hunger and silence, the body that could not be straightened, the unbearable heat and winter, the dark days where she could only see the light of oil lamps and palace lanterns, and the years of being tied up in the cabinet, silently enduring the perverted eunuch's abuse and humiliation …
"Ah!"
Why did she have to know, why did she have to know, why did she have to know? The most painful, heavy, sorrowful, and helpless disgrace in the world?
She chose to forget the nightmare buried deep in her heart fourteen years ago. It was a nightmare that she would never want to face again in this life. Why did she have to tear it open in blood and let her see through her bloody past to see the greatest sorrow and desolation in the world?
She let out a long roar and crashed outwards like a whirlwind. She did not know what she wanted to crash into. She only felt that at this moment, heaven, earth, mystery, cosmos, and wilderness were all her enemies. They were all the coldest mountains in her fate. She crashed into them again and again until her head bled. She struggled in the ground full of broken limbs and flesh. Every time she struggled to stand up, a huge glacier sword would fall down and pierce her head.
She screamed, the sound startling the entire posthouse. She turned into a black hurricane, sweeping up all kinds of furniture in the room and knocking them out.
Suddenly, a white shadow flashed before her eyes.
Zong Yue, who was in the next room, rushed out.
At that moment, how could she recognize anyone? All she could see was a snow-white shadow, a white … yes, an iceberg. An iceberg that lay across her life, an iceberg that needed to be crushed!
She screamed and threw herself at the iceberg, raising her hand to strike with all her might. With a loud bang, the two of them fell and slid on the ground. She still wanted to kick and hit him, but Zong Yue held onto her tightly. The two of them rolled on the ground and became entangled. The ground that they rolled over was shattered by Meng Fuyao's Gang Qi, and the flowers and trees around them collapsed. Zong Yue had to hold onto her to prevent her from injuring herself, and at the same time, he had to pay attention to the falling trees above him.
A purple shadow flashed, and Zhangsun Wuji rushed over, reaching out to pull her. Zong Yue suddenly raised his head and said, "Don't!"
In that instant, he had been injured by Meng Fuyao's uncontrollable Gang Qi. His entire body was covered in blood, and his white robe was stained with blood. However, his eyes were clear and sharp, and he stopped Zhangsun Wuji from helping her.
Then, he hugged Meng Fuyao and rolled around on the ground, avoiding her Genuine Qi. At the same time, he quickly took out the pouch containing the golden needles from his waist, held her tightly with one hand, and quickly inserted the needles. Zhangsun Wuji immediately protected him, waving his sleeves to move the fallen trees away.
Meng Fuyao was still rolling around. It was rare for Zong Yue, the world's number one miracle doctor, to be able to identify the acupoints and insert the needles at lightning speed even when she was frantically rolling around. He was also putting his life on the line, allowing Meng Fuyao to break free from his continuous palm strikes. She would pause after each palm strike, and he would take advantage of that moment to quickly insert the needles. As the golden needles were inserted, Meng Fuyao's strength finally began to slow down.
She slowed down, and the True Qi around her seemed to have a life of its own as it slowly swam and returned to her body bit by bit. Compared to before, the True Qi was much more solid and vigorous. From afar, it looked like a jade Ruyi, shining with a pearl-like luster, and flowing in the air like it was a real substance.
She had leveled up.
In an instant, the final medicinal effects of the pill that Zong Yue had given her were integrated. Her Genuine Qi surged, breaking through the second floor and entering the third level of the seventh level, Ruyi. She was not far from the eighth level.
In between, Zong Yue had also sacrificed himself. When he carried Meng Fuyao and rolled around, not only did he have to protect her and insert the needles, but he also forcefully injected his Genuine Qi into her when she was hit by her palm strike, continuously repairing the damage to her meridians caused by her violent breakthrough.
Meng Fuyao lay paralyzed on the ground, slowly withdrawing her Genuine Qi. Zong Yue could not stop coughing, but he refused Zhangsun Wuji's support and slowly got up.
He sat in silence for a while before asking, "Is she … really?"
Zhangsun Wuji turned his head away, as if he could not even answer.
The two of them remained silent in the desolation. One lowered his head and coughed lightly, while the other raised his head to look at the moon. The one coughing coughed out endless blood, while the one looking at the moon looked bleak and sorrowful.
Meng Fuyao was still lying on the ground. After a while, she said tiredly, "You can leave now."
Silence. Meng Fuyao closed her eyes and ignored them. She did not want to say anything, nor did she want to ask.
She did not want to ask what happened after her mother left that day. Before she could finish the dream, she was forced awake by the thing that she did not want to face in the depths of her memory. Instinctively, she chose not to face the following outcome.
She did not want to ask why Zhangsun Wuji did not come back. What else was there to ask? It was just fate.
Her life, the life that the entire Five Continents envied, the life of the lord of the three nations, the Han Meng King, the Xuanyuan Imperial Preceptor, and the most famous and glorious Meng Fuyao, was just like that.
Darkness, heaviness, pain, and despair.
"Don't kill —"
The beast-like howl continued. Old Lu, who had been awakened by Zong Yue's heavy technique, did not know that the world had changed at that moment. He also did not know that on the ground not far away, the child he had molested in the darkness for five whole years had suddenly raised his head.
He just rushed out in chaos, turbid, and the world was blood red. At that moment, all the things in recent years faded away, leaving only the unerasable memory of fourteen years ago … the girl in the darkness … the soft and delicate skin under his fingers … the palace maid Xu Wan who was discovered by the Empress to have a child in secret … the cruel "grooming" punishment of being tied to the bed in front of the cabinet, scalded with boiling water, and then scrubbed with an iron brush bit by bit until only the bones were exposed … the blood-red eyes that watched that scene from the cabinet …
That pair of eyes were as red as charcoal, not like the eyes of a five-year-old child, but more like the eyes of a fiendgod who had been imprisoned in hell for a thousand years. Every word was filled with the most miserable and painful hatred between heaven and earth. That charcoal fire burned him from then on, torturing him day after day, endlessly grinding and sharpening his heart, until his consciousness was slowly worn away over the years.
But at that moment, he saw those eyes again.
They were blood-red and dark, radiating a cold light like an unsheathed sword. The murderous aura was awe-inspiring, like the eyes of a demon.
Meng Fuyao's eyes.
The moment she saw Old Lu, she suddenly bounced up, traversing the vast sky in an instant. In a flash, her hand had already pierced deep into Old Lu's chest.
The wind that filled the sky swirled and then calmed down, ruffling the woman's plain clothes, which fluttered in the wind like a mourning banner.
Her clothes billowed, but her body and fingers were as still as steel. Old Lu, whose heart had been pierced, was also motionless.
Under the night sky, in the darkness, two living statues.
After a long time, Old Lu grinned, revealing a relieved smile.
Finally free …
He waited for a long time.
Ever since those blood-red eyes had tortured him to the point that he could not sleep, he began to wait. Eventually, he began to paint. He always felt that she was by his side, watching him, watching his paintings. He knew that he should not paint, but with that kind of gaze staring at him day and night, he had no choice but to paint. Eventually, he had to paint. Then, the painting was finally seen by His Majesty, who was passing by. That was when he knew … it was about to end. Really, it was about to end.
And so, it ended.
Everyone had a lifetime of suffering, no matter good or evil. Everyone was waiting for the end, waiting to swallow the taste of life and death.
Old Lu smiled, looking at the pair of eyes that had gradually regained their calm, looking at the hand that had been as steady as a rock … That little girl who had been kept in the cupboard until she was five years old, had she finally grown up? She was strong enough, strong enough to dig out his heart with her bare hands. Back then, his hands had touched her body. Now, her hands had dug out his heart. It was fair.
He took one last look at this cruel world without any reluctance, then prepared to let himself fall. Standing like that was very tiring.
Suddenly, his gaze froze.
In front of him, the man in white … That strange yet familiar face, that tall and unique elegant figure, that special temperament that made people feel untainted even though he was covered in blood …
It was him!
Old Lu suddenly trembled. In his trembling vision, the third painting appeared. He had painted for many, many years, to the point that he had never forgotten any movement or expression of any of the people in the painting. Even after so many years, his memory was still vivid. He saw the handsome young man standing beside the Empress in the painting slowly walk over, down the painting, to the body of the man in white in front of him, and finally, the two of them merged into one.
He saw him standing in front of the dressing bed, he saw him open the cupboard, he heard him say quietly, "Before you become a true powerhouse, forget all your hatred."
It was him … it was him …
Old Lu stretched out a finger and pointed at Zong Yue.
He had never been turned off, and there was no more life in him. Between his teeth, he squeezed out words with all his might.
Every word came out along with the blood froth in his chest.
He said,
"… He … he is your … your …"
Suddenly, she withdrew her hand.
Indifferently, she withdrew her hand from Old Lu's chest.
The last bit of support that kept Old Lu upright was gone. The body that carried countless old stories and secrets fell to the ground with a loud bang.
Blood flowed like a snake, following the cracks on the ground and silently drilling into it, disappearing without a trace.
Born in the dust, returned to the dust.
A eunuch who had been buried in the palace had played a dark role in Meng Fuyao's life, forcing her to close herself off. Perhaps he wasn't a bad person, but his abnormal fate had uncontrollably led him onto the path of a pervert. In the end, he had blackened five years of his life. After that, he had spent the rest of his life receiving punishment. Now, the final judgment had arrived.
His judgment had ended. Regardless of whether he went to heaven or hell, he would no longer be forced to paint.
What about the judgment of others?
"Old Lu …" A miserable cry rang out. The woman who had been guarded by Tiecheng ran out. Worried that Meng Fuyao had abandoned the task of guarding her, she ran out just in time to witness the scene of Old Lu's death.
She threw herself at Old Lu's corpse and cried her heart out, muttering about how kind and kind he had been when he was alive. She also cursed the person who had killed him for his evil heart and deserved to die a horrible death. Tiecheng was infuriated and stepped forward to give her a tight slap.
Meng Fuyao didn't move. She didn't even wipe the blood off her hand. She just looked at her coldly, then at the corpse on the ground. Old Lu was a filthy thing, and this woman treated him sincerely. What about her own mother? The beautiful and resentful Xu Wan, had she ever had a good day in her life? The man who had caused her such a tragic ending was sitting on the throne, guarding that evil woman. He had long forgotten about her existence.
The Golden Cage had created a bunch of scum who refused to take responsibility for what they had done, leaving innocent people to struggle silently in the dark with bloodstains all over their bodies.
Meng Fuyao stood upright, expressionless. She raised her head slightly. Zong Yue approached her, and she took a step back. This step made Zong Yue freeze on the spot like an ice sculpture.
Zhangsun Wuji silently looked at her. He raised his hand, wanting to pull her over. She moved aside slightly, and Zhangsun Wuji's hand landed on empty air. He didn't immediately retract his hand. Instead, he slightly curled up his fingers in midair, as if he wanted to grab that cool air to calm the raging waves and endless regret in the depths of his heart.
Meng Fuyao just stood there quietly. Her clothes were cold, but not as cold as her moonlight. She just stood there.
She didn't want to look at anyone. She didn't want to see Zhangsun Wuji, who had promised to come back for her but didn't come back in the end. She didn't want to see Old Lu's final identification of Zong Yue, whose meaning was unclear, but most likely had a hand in what happened back then. She only felt colder and colder in the midnight wind. What could she trust? What could she rely on? Those who loved you, whom you thought would never let you down. But when you turned a corner, you found them looking at you coldly from the other side of the river. The turbid waves in front of you were surging, making it impossible for you to cross.
It turned out that she had always been alone.
= =
I finished this chapter without eating or drinking a single drop of water. I had to stop a few times in between. I felt like I couldn't bear to continue. I've always been indifferent when I write. I'm always detached from the humorous and the sad. But today, when I wrote this chapter, I also felt pain.
It was cruel to uncover the darkness that belonged to Meng Fuyao. It was human nature's deepest evil that belonged to Fuyao's generally bright book. Facing it head-on was so earnest. At this point in the novel, the protagonists had their own wills, and the plot was no longer under my control. I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Select text and click 'Report' to let us know about any bad translation.
