I'll write slowly. Everyone, take your time to read. There's no rush …
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It was already nightfall. The wind and snow rose and fell.
When the wind and snow moved, the whistling sound passed through the endless snowy plains and swirled up thousands of piles of snow. In the darkness, it was like a land of exile that devoured people. Ruthless and wild sounds rang out endlessly, making one's heart palpitate. When the wind and snow were quiet, heaven and earth were silent and cold. It was like a snowy sea containing a storm. Tens of thousands of li were filled with cold silver light. The boundless and deathly still snowy plains like white jade were cold to the extreme.
On the unusually cold snowy plains, even if the moonlight shone down, it seemed to be frozen in an instant. Regardless of whether the wind and snow raged or the world was calm, the specks of light on the side of a high plateau could not be extinguished. Like the longing in a human's heart for the unknown, they stubbornly and resolutely waited there.
The brazier in the tent transmitted a rare sense of warmth, completely blocking out the bitter cold outside. On one hand, it was because the specially made snow tent was extremely effective in keeping out the wind and temperature, on the other hand, it was because the fuel in the brazier seemed to be especially durable, and the fire was not small.
Haitang Duoduo had already taken off the leather hat that covered most of her face. Her cheeks were as red as apples. She was squatting by the brazier boiling soup. Her brows were furrowed slightly with a hint of worry. Fan Xian, who had long crawled into his sleeping bag to the side, did not notice her emotions.
They had already traveled north for a few days. The weather was growing colder and colder. Each day, they walked less and less during the day. Most of the time, they hid in the tent to avoid the snow. However, Fan Xian was not too worried about these problems. He was only calculating how long the fuel and food he had brought could last.
The white bear had long been left with only a piece of bear skin. Fan Xian had eaten two bear paws. Although Haitang and Thirteenth Wang were surprised at his leisurely mood and even more surprised that he had not forgotten things like seasoning in his personal equipment, the bear paws were not very tasty. Furthermore, the amount was not enough.
At the beginning of the journey to the Temple in the extreme north, the dozens of snow hounds laboriously pulling the equipment could still find food on their own. The deeper they went into the snowy plains, the fewer living beasts they could see. Without a choice, Fan Xian was forced to use the food he had prepared. These snow hounds worked hard every day. Naturally, Fan Xian could not bear to treat them badly. However, their appetites were a bit too good.
For this trip to the Temple, Fan Xian had made ample preparations. He had sunglasses to prevent snow-blindness, a specially made, fine, velvet sleeping bag, and a large amount of supplies. However, he was still cautious. If he couldn't find the Temple before summer and had to endure half a year of darkness on the icy plains in the extreme north, the food he brought would not be enough. Perhaps he would have to start killing dogs in the end.
Back then, Ku He and Xiao En had survived by eating human flesh. Fan Xian didn't want to repeat his mistakes. He turned his head slightly and looked at the begonia flowers by the brazier. Forcefully suppressing the piercing pain in his chest, he said, "Do you want to hear a story?"
"What story?" Haitang's face was still a little red, and she didn't raise her head. Fan Xian smiled and told her the story of Xiao En and Ku He exploring the Temple in the north. He didn't even hide the fact that the two elders had eaten human flesh.
After Haitang finished listening, her expression gradually changed. It was as if, for a moment, she could not accept that her teacher had once made such a terrifying choice. A complicated emotion reverberated in her heart. After a moment of silence, she slowly raised her head and looked at Fan Xian with her bright eyes. Quietly, she said, "Telling me this at this time is certainly not just to disgust me or attack me. There has to be some reason."
"I've found that you like those snow hounds very much," Fan Xian said tiredly. Fan Xian's eyelids drooped slightly. Tiredly, he said, "In reality, these snow hounds have indeed helped us a lot. If the day comes when we run out of food and ammunition, we will have to start eating dog meat. I hope you are mentally prepared now."
Haitang's expression changed slightly. In front of Fan Xian, she didn't need to maintain her identity as the Northern Qi saint girl and the leader of Tianyi Dao. She could naturally reveal her emotions. She was a girl, so she was incomparably fond of the snow hounds that ran around happily every day. During this month, she had basically been responsible for the dog food. Suddenly hearing these words, only now did she realize that Fan Xian had not had good intentions from the beginning. The snow hounds that worked hard to pull the sled were part of his food reserves.
However, Haitang had already made difficult preparations for this trip to the Temple, particularly after hearing about her teacher's tragic story of eating human flesh. She knew there were priorities. She lowered her head slightly and didn't reply or argue.
It was quiet inside the tent, causing the sound of the wind and snow outside the tent to be especially clear. One could even hear how much snow was violently beating against the outer skin of the tent, causing the sound of "pa pa", causing one to be unable to rest in peace.
At this moment, the sound of footsteps on ice and snow came from outside the tent. Fan Xian and Haitang's expressions did not change because they knew who it was. On this desolate, uninhabited, and bitterly cold snowy plains, other than these three youths, whose willpower and bodies were as powerful as the peak of humanity, no one else could appear.
Thirteenth Wang lifted open the wooden door and walked in, bringing with him a gust of cold wind. The flames in the brazier suddenly dimmed. This damned cold of the snowy plain seemed to be able to freeze the flames with a low temperature.
Haitang took out a small black ball from her sleeve and threw it into the brazier. The fire in the brazier finally stabilized. All of this was a special item Fan Xian had prepared all these years. In particular, the fire seed had never been cut off.
Thirteenth Wang stood on the blanket by the door and patted off the thick layer of ice and snow on his body. He took down the countless layers of towel wrapped around his face. A few words as crisp as a lump of ice came out of his lips, which had turned white from the cold, and said, "All right, let's sleep."
Haitang was responsible for all the trifling matters of life. This girl had finally been transformed by Fan Xian into a housewife in this extreme environment. Thirteenth Wang was responsible for leading the dozens of snow hounds and the construction and defense of the tent. What he meant by "all right" was that the snow shelter specially built for the snow hounds outside had been taken care of.
In terms of hard work, Thirteenth Wang's work was even harder. Fan Xian narrowed his eyes and said to him, "From tomorrow onwards, you will be responsible for feeding the dogs."
Thirteenth Wang nodded and sat by the brazier. Accepting the bowl of hot soup Haitang handed him, he slowly drank it. Each mouthful was carefully drunk. The sword at his waist dragged on the ground, giving off the faint smell of blood.
"To recover, you will indeed need to practice endlessly. However, this place is too cold. Don't push yourself too hard." A glimmer of worry flashed through Fan Xian's eyes. These days, Thirteenth Wang had practiced his sword with unusual valiance in the wind and snow, using his own potential to resist the might of heaven and earth. This kind of hard practice truly moved Fan Xian and Haitang.
They knew Thirteenth Wang had a sense of urgency and wanted to quickly recover his arm or train to be left-handed. However, Fan Xian was always worried about his body.
"Ada found a nest of snow rabbits earlier. However, the hole was too deep. They couldn't do anything about it. I helped them chase the rabbits out." Thirteenth Wang put down the bowl of soup and rubbed his face. Shaking his head, he said, "I also moved my muscles and bones. If it continues to freeze like this, I'm afraid I'll freeze into an ice cube."
"Looks like we can improve our meals tomorrow," Fan Xian said with a smile as he covered his mouth and coughed. He found that Thirteenth's relationship with these snow dogs was growing better and better. He was afraid that there would be one more person he needed to convince in the future.
He suddenly noticed that Haitang was acting strangely. She spoke particularly little today. Furthermore, her face was always red. There was always worry between her brows. He couldn't resist asking in a quiet voice, "What are you thinking about that's so engrossed?"
Haitang furrowed her brows slightly and glared at him but didn't say anything. To the side, Thirteenth Wang paused and gave a rare smile. Tying the towel around his head again, he walked out of the tent.
Fan Xian was slightly startled. A moment later, he couldn't resist realizing the reason. He laughed out loud. "Could a living person die from holding in their urine?"
These words were vulgar and just happened to hit Haitang's sore spot. A glimmer of anger flashed through the girl's eyes.
Fan Xian had calculated everything. He had even calculated two years ago that he would drag Haitang and Thirteenth Wang to be his helpers on this trip to the Temple. He knew that the long journey and endless night would be like the days by his sickbed in his previous life. The unbearable loneliness would make one go crazy. Back then, Ku He and Sir Xiao En were able to endure until the Temple appeared under the morning sun not because they dared to eat human flesh. Rather, it was because they could become each other's companions. In a dangerous and unknown journey, companions were always the most important factor.
However, Fan Xian had still missed out on some details of life. He and Thirteenth Wang didn't care. Any jar would be enough to relieve themselves. He had never thought of adding to the burden and preparing an extra tent on the snowy plains as a toilet with unusual luxury. Although it had been cold a few days ago, they could still withstand it. The temperature had suddenly dropped. It was difficult to relieve oneself in the wilderness.
Thirteenth Wang walked out, leaving Haitang some private space. She narrowed her eyes slightly and looked at Fan Xian coldly. "If it weren't for your medicine jar, there wouldn't be so many inconveniences."
Fan Xian was silent and smiled. Of the three people on this trip, even his body was the weakest. If he hid in the wind and snow outside the tent, he would probably immediately be frozen into a cripple. Lightly smiling, he said, "Thirteenth Wang left alone. Naturally, he knows the relationship between you and me. There's no need to mind who we are, right?"
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It was still a deep and cold night. Due to the lack of wood and other large materials, the fire in the brazier was unable to flourish. The wind and snow continued to howl furiously outside the tent. There was no danger in the darkness around them, but the cold itself was the greatest danger. The three sleeping bags were lined up in a triangular formation by the brazier. The three young people in the sleeping bags all had their eyes wide open and refused to sleep.
They had already trudged on the snowy plains for a month without any entertainment or tricks to pass the time. Other than traveling, it was all about sleeping. It was truly boring. The three of them had also slept their fill. If Fan Xian's body was not so weak, he would certainly regret bringing Thirteenth Wang, the sun, with him. Otherwise, holding Duoduo and saying words of love that he hadn't said in a long time, enjoying the pleasure of their mouths and hands, would be good.
After dozens of sleepless nights, the three young people had basically finished talking about everything they needed to talk about. Even Thirteenth Wang's bedwetting as a child had been viciously dug out by Fan Xian. Thus, the three of them could only keep their eyes open and listen to the whistling of the wind and snow outside the tent as if they were enjoying a musical event.
After an indeterminable amount of silence, Fan Xian suddenly opened his mouth and said, "In such a windy, snowy, and bitterly cold place, when those people came here back then, most of them would have died. For the three of us to be able to withstand it is quite remarkable."
Haitang, who was lying across from him, said softly, "Shizun was the first to open the mountain and search for the temple. He couldn't compare to you in knowing the direction and the route. Naturally, it was more difficult. But the later generations are always better than the previous generations. You seem to know more than us. "
"Don't envy me." Fan Xian closed his eyes and smiled happily. "To be able to go to different places and experience different things in one's life is in itself a rare enjoyment."
Thirteenth Wang replied, "That makes sense."
"Since that's the case, why don't the three of us write poems at night? In the future, the history books would say that on a snowy night, it would become a … great poem. Wouldn't it be wonderful? Let me take the lead. As the saying goes, the north wind blows all night … "
There was nothing else. It was clear that Haitang and Thirteenth Wang did not want to allow this person's corrosive aura to flare up. It was silent.
Fan Xian coughed and smiled. "You don't give us any face."
"We are all rough people. If you want us to write poems with you, it's you who doesn't give us face. Besides, this line was written by Feng Lazi in Story of the Stone."
"I wrote Story of the Stone. Who dares to say that I didn't write this line?" Fan Xian's shameless voice rang out in the tent.
The other two used silence to express their disdain. Fan Xian smiled and opened his tired eyes in the dusky environment. As he coughed and panted, he said, "We've said everything. We understand each other enough. However, I've always been curious. What exactly do you want to do in this world?"
"I want to become a Great Grandmaster and then, like my teacher, protect the people of Dongyi." Thirteenth Wang's answer was always valiant and direct, confident and normal.
"A bed-wetting brat does not have the right to use such kingly words," Fan Xian said.
"I …" Haitang's bright eyes looked at the tent above. After a moment of silence, she said, "Ever since I was young, I grew up in the back of Qing Mountain. Later, I went to Shangjing and began to travel the world. I just want to bring Qing Mountain to greater heights and protect the Qi court for generations to come, to not be invaded by foreign enemies, and for the people within our borders to live and work in peace."
Her voice suddenly became gloomy, "But when Master left, I found out that I was not a Qi person, but a Hu person … I don't know what I want to do, but I think, if the Qi Kingdom can be safe, if the world can be peaceful, it will be good."
"You are indeed worthy of being the last disciple taught by two strange old creatures. Just a casual sentence and you think of the world." Fan Xian sighed. "Actually, before I met you, I had never thought about things like good war or bad peace."
"Because Uncle Wu Zhu never cared about these things, I didn't care much either. I just wanted to live on well." Fan Xian's tone appeared particularly light. "The more vivid and fresh I live, the better. From the first day I became sensible, I always felt that everything around me was just a dream. There would come a day when I would wake up from this dream. This kind of feeling made me work hard and live each day seriously."
"It seemed that I wanted to use the richness of these details to dilute my fear of waking up from this dream."
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Listening to Fan Xian's leisurely words, Haitang and Thirteenth Wang sank into silence. They thought Fan Xian was sighing about his strange past and strange life. They had no way of knowing what Fan Xian was truly sighing about.
"Since you don't want to wake up from this dream, presumably, the contents of this dream are good," Haitang said comfortingly.
The corners of Fan Xian's mouth twitched slightly. He smiled and said, "Naturally. If it wasn't to protect everything beautiful in this dream, why would I exile myself to this godforsaken place? Why would I fight with the Emperor for all this? Why would I pretend to be brave and righteous and enter the Palace to assassinate? Why would I carefully maintain the stability of the Qing court?"
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All of this, everything after his rebirth, was it truly just a dream? It was completely silent in the tent. Haitang and Thirteenth Wang had both fallen asleep, but Fan Xian still had not. He indifferently looked at the sky that had been cut off from them and listened to the sound of the wind and snow whistling past outside the tent. He thought endlessly in his heart.
He died in that world and came back to life in this one. During his childhood, Fan Xian could not shake off the fear of waking up at any moment. He was afraid that all of this was fake. He was afraid that he was in an illusory mental state. He was afraid that this was The Truman Show that encompassed the world. He was afraid that this was a brilliant game, and he was just a ripple of consciousness, a stream of data, or a hypnotized wooden man.
True warriors dared to face true death. For Fan Xian, who had lived two lives, his true fear was that he didn't know whether or not he was truly dead. He was worried that once he awoke from his dream, he would once again lie on the sickbed and sink into true darkness, never to see all of this beauty again.
Rivers and mountains, lakes, seas, flowers, trees, and beauties.
He had yelled on the rooftop in Danzhou to collect the clothes. He had written 300 poems in the palace. All of this was based on an impudent emotion. However, after living on the land of the Qing Kingdom for more than 20 years, he had laughed and cried. He could finally prove that all of this was not a dream.
Although he still didn't know what the Temple was, he was certain that all of this was truly happening around him and not an illusion created by some mysterious god.
The people of this world truly existed. The emotions of the world truly existed, as well as human nature and sorrow and joy. There were always some things in the world that could not be faked. If there truly was a god who could perfectly control all of this, just like how God wanted light, Nuwa wanted to play with mud, or Pangu wanted to rest when he was tired, then what was the point in investigating all of this?
The closer he got to the Temple, the more Fan Xian could not shake off these questions. It was not until the night that he gradually understood. Perhaps this trip to the Temple was to ask for the answer to a question. In reality, he was still more concerned about the reality of the secular world, or at least the sorrow and joy of the lives of the people he thought were real.
For things that could not be known, could not be investigated, could not be touched, and could not be observed, in reality, these things did not exist. This was something that had once been taught in physics class in that world. Fan Xian had always remembered it clearly. Tonight, he suddenly felt that he could put this definition in physics onto the word "fate."
No one could change fate, but he could choose not to accept his fate or ignore this fate. Fan Xian lived in this world. Whether he loved or hated the people and things in this world, this world was certainly real. It was so real that it was etched into his bones. He firmly believed in this.
After a night of restless sleep, the zhenqi in his body scattered. Although the yuanqi in the world made up for what he lacked as he breathed, the speed was still not fast enough. The cold invaded his body, and his mind was restless. Fan Xian finally fell ill.
When the whistling of the wind and snow outside stopped and the white light from the snowy ground reflected into the tent, Fan Xian's face became very pale. Two unhealthy red spots appeared under his eyes, and his forehead was boiling hot.
The sickness he was most afraid of had arrived at the coldest moment. Fan Xian lay in Haitang's warm and gentle embrace and drank the medicine he had made. He forced himself to stay awake and said in a raspy voice, "The medicine jar has something to say."
"Speak." Haitang's brows were full of worry. She held him gently and shook him like she was coaxing a child.
"We can't stop. Let's keep going."
"But, the snow here is so heavy."
Suddenly, the tent door was lifted open. Thirteenth Wang stuck his head in. His face was full of joy.
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