"Why?" In the wind and snow, Fan Xian sank into deep thought. He didn't need any time to think. From many years ago, he knew that one day, he would receive this question. All these years, he had been preparing and running away, but he had never truly run away. This was a question he had thought about countless times. Even in the last seven days of hard thinking, it was still the same.
"Why?" He slowly raised his head and narrowed his eyes in the snow. Looking at the Emperor, he slowly said, "Today, in the Imperial College, I spoke to those young people about the problem of benevolence and righteousness, as well as the problem of true righteousness."
Fan Xian sighed and said with a complicated expression, "In the past, I had thought that all of this was fake and fake. However, after all these years, I have everything an official should have and shouldn't have. Only now do I realize that other than those so-called standards, there is nothing else in the world that can make your life more real."
The Emperor looked at him lightly. His thin lips opened slightly. In an icy voice, he repeated what Fan Xian had said in the Imperial College this morning. "I have no regrets. Since ancient times, those with lofty ideals who believed in righteousness under heaven should not be moved by success or failure …"
Fan Xian's words to the young people in the Imperial College in the morning clearly made Hu the Scholar feel the murderous intent and determination hidden between the lines. Hu the Scholar entered the Palace in fear and recounted the scene in the Imperial College to the Emperor. The Emperor was able to recite Fan Xian's words.
Fan Xian also felt a glimmer of surprise. He smiled bitterly and said, "I am not the kind of person who sees righteousness as the principle of life. I am also not a saint whose morals are supreme. In my bones, I am still a person who, other than loving and respecting myself, is nothing."
"This is probably something hidden in my bones, something that I have hidden and sealed away for over 20 years," Fan Xian looked at the Emperor and said seriously. "I want to live this life to the fullest. I want to live wantonly. I want to live to the fullest and without regrets. Thus, I need to have a clear conscience. If I continue like this, the things buried in my bones will make it impossible for me to have a clear conscience for the rest of my life."
"The prosperity and power of this world can make one blind and deaf, but I still cannot pretend that I don't know and have never heard of the things that happened back then and what happened this autumn." A faint sorrow rose to Fan Xian's face. He slowly said, "Chen Pingping returned to the capital to ask the Emperor a question, but I don't need to ask. I only know that these things are unfair. Furthermore, this unfairness is inflicted on those who love me and those I love. If there was no me in the world, there would be no me who bravely walked in front of the Emperor like today. Where would those people who have already passed go to find fairness?"
"They should not be forgotten by this world. The injustice they have suffered must be redeemed through some method," Fan Xian said as he looked at the Emperor. "This is your responsibility as well as my duty."
The Emperor heard Fan Xian's words, which came from his heart, and was silent for a long time. In an icy voice, he slowly asked, "Why don't you ask me what exactly happened back then? Why don't you ask me? Do you think I don't have difficulties? "
"King Jing's manor, which was King Cheng's manor, still has many memorials that mother privately wrote to you," Fan Xian replied after a moment of silence. "I've seen them all. I don't need to ask anything. I know why what happened back then happened. As for whether her death was a good thing or a bad thing for this land and the millions of people, I don't care. "
He smiled with some difficulty and said, "Your Majesty, this is actually not a debate about the world or justice. This is not a public grudge. This is only a private grudge."
"What a private grudge." The Emperor also smiled. With his hands behind his back, he stood alone in the wind and snow with an indescribable loneliness. "She was your mother. Am I not your father?"
Fan Xian's body froze slightly. He didn't continue on this topic. Instead, he calmly said, "Your Majesty has great ambitions. You are walking on the path you think is correct. In my opinion, no matter how great, glorious, and correct a goal is, if it is done through despicable methods, it is not worthy of respect."
A mocking smile rose to the corners of the Emperor's lips. Looking at Fan Xian's fearless eyes, he said, "Do you think that killing in Jingdou today is a very glorious method?"
Fan Xian smiled and shook his head. "My goal is only to close a case from decades ago and tear away the greatest shadow over my head. Everything is from my own point of view. Just as I said earlier, this is a private grudge. There has never been any great, glorious, or correct meaning. Since it is so, what does it matter how despicable my methods are? "
He paused and used a complicated gaze to look at the Emperor with a slightly emotional and emotional gaze. "In these areas, I am more like you. For you and me, 'good person' is such an extravagant adjective. However, it is precisely because of this that I am not like her, still confused and baffled until death. At least, before I die, I can still ask you one thing."
These words spoke of the fundamental difference between Ye Qingmei and Fan Xian. However, the affairs of the world were unpredictable. Miraculously, as Fan Xian rushed about in this world and enjoyed his rise, in the end, he slowly leaned toward Ye Qingmei's path. This pair of souls, who had come into the world one after the other and warmed each other across time, were probably the only existences in this world that did not have a natural reverence for imperial power. Speaking from the innermost part, they both had the desire to stand ramrod straight in front of the throne.
The Emperor was calm and smiled slightly. He looked at Fan Xian with a strange emotion. No one knew if he felt as if he was seeing that woman again after many years.
Facing Fan Xian's seemingly calm but actually piercing sigh, the Emperor did not get angry or gloomy. On the contrary, he calmly began to talk about other matters. "Back then, during the Taiping Courtyard coup, I did not have high hopes that you would survive."
Fan Xian nodded slightly. During the Taiping Courtyard bloody incident, Ye Qingmei had just given birth to him and was at her weakest. Furthermore, he was only an infant. How could he have survived the crazed pursuit of the empress's family and the cold surveillance of the Qin family's army? Since the Emperor had created this despicable and cold-blooded plan, he had coldly ignored his life and death.
If the old Fan family had not risked their lives, if Uncle Wu Zhu had not rushed back quickly, if Chen Pingping had not discovered something was wrong and rushed back from the Northern border ahead of time, he would not exist in the present Qing Kingdom.
"In the end, you survived and were sent to my mother. Other than feeling slightly surprised, I cannot deny that I let out a sigh of relief. After all, you are my flesh and blood," the Emperor looked at Fan Xian calmly. The Emperor gazed at Fan Xian and calmly said, "Now that I think about it, Pingping was already suspicious of me at that time. Otherwise, he would not have agreed to Fifth Brother's request to send you to Danzhou. He knew that in this world, I see the empress dowager and my mother as a mother. He could only watch as this became an established reality."
"If things had continued like this, then it would have been fine. At most, I would have been in Jingdou and you in Danzhou. During the holidays, I would have remembered that I still had an illegitimate child in the distant Danzhou seaside and would have given the Fan manor a few more rewards to send to your side." The Emperor's hair was covered with snowflakes. For a moment, it was impossible to tell if it was snow or snow-like hair. His entire person was gradually taking on a kind of old age.
"However, Chen Pingping did not seem to think this way. When you were four, he sent Fei Jie to your side and secretly transferred a group of Overwatch Council spies to my mother to use. He entered the Palace to tell me about this matter. I had originally thought that his actions were superfluous … "
The Emperor's brows furrowed. It was as if he was recalling the events of the past dozen years. "However, when you were 12, you were attacked by an assassin."
The Emperor glanced at Fan Xian and shook his head. "During those years in Danzhou, presumably you didn't know that news from Danzhou was sent all the way to Chen Pingping's desk through the Overwatch Council. That old cripple took out an even stronger passion than when he was managing Council affairs and frequently entered the Palace to tell me your every move."
"You flirted with the serving girls in Danzhou. You climbed onto the rooftops and made a racket. You began to personally cook for my mother. The unusually dangerous Tyrannical zhenqi that you cultivated in your body …" A strange smile rose to the Emperor's face. "I knew your every move, even more so than my sons in Jingdou. Thus, although you were far away in Danzhou, I seemed to have gotten used to you being by my side."
"Then, you came to Jingdou and came to my side. In the Qing Temple, in the tea shop outside the courtyard." The Emperor glanced at Fan Xian. His smile gradually faded. "You entered the Overwatch Council. You went to the Hanging Temple. You accompanied me into the little building. You were sent by me to Jiangnan. I have to admit that you are my son, and the one I love the most."
"Your mother once said that love is a habit. I've gotten used to your existence when you were young." The Emperor suddenly raised his head to gaze at the snowy sky. No one knew who he was looking at. He suddenly nodded and said, "However, my favorite son is not willing to be my son. At this time, he is still standing in front of me to challenge my authority and find justice for what happened in the past."
He lowered his head and looked at Fan Xian coldly. "There is no victory or defeat between you and me, father and son. Thinking about it carefully until now, in the end, it is still Chen Pingping who has won."
Fan Xian understood these words, so he sank into silence.
…
…
"Since you are not a benevolent and righteous person who thinks about the world, since you only seek to resolve a personal grudge and not for justice, then I do not understand your choice today." The Emperor did not give Fan Xian more of a feeling that he was more like a relative and directly opened his mouth to question him.
Since it was just for a personal grudge, since it was just to seek a straightforward justice, why did Fan Xian earlier treat the snowy ground as the world and lay out the facts and reason with the Emperor? Why did he throw out so many bargaining chips just to keep the battle within the Royal Palace and the enemy side limited to father and son? There was never any kindness to speak of in revenge. The Qing Kingdom and the world could all be Fan Xian's weapons.
Fan Xian was silent for a moment and then said, "I thought about it in the manor for seven days." He smiled and continued, "The so-called seclusion was all a lie. Being locked in a room for seven days and seven nights would drive someone crazy. I also wanted to eat and get some air."
His expression gradually softened and calmed. "Late at night, when Wan 'er and the others were asleep, I would sneak out of the room alone with an unlined garment draped over my shoulders. Like a wandering spirit, I would wander through the manor's garden. During those days, there was continuous snow in Tianjing, and the nights were very cold. The old women who looked after the garden all hid in a corner room to drink. No one noticed me."
"I just wandered and wandered and wandered alone." Fan Xian looked at the Emperor and opened his eyes wide. Very seriously, he said, "Only now did I realize that the Fan manor's garden was actually so big. Usually, I've been so busy with government affairs and scheming that I almost forgot what my own garden looked like. It was not until these seven days that I noticed that the Fan manor's garden was actually larger than Jiangnan's Hua Garden. "
"I don't know how many manors there are on that street in the south of the city and how much space they take up," Fan Xian said seriously. "There is also the food and clothing that are usually unremarkable. In my eyes, they are very common things. In reality, for those common people, they are all luxurious pleasures."
He pointed at the Royal Palace in the snow and said, "Of course, the largest garden is still this Royal Palace."
…
…
"In the past few years, while I was living my own little life, I also helped out the lives of the common people. Regardless of whether it was the palace treasury, the river works yamen, or the Hangzhou Conference, I have gained some reputation. I had thought that I was helping them, but I suddenly understood that it was actually them providing for us. " Fan Xian's expression was calm. Looking at the Emperor, he said, "Since that is so, what right do I have to ask for gratitude from them?"
"I am not a saint. I have all kinds of shortcomings. It is just that the better ones these years have been hypocritically hidden. If I ask myself honestly, in the end, I still love the Qing Kingdom."
"No matter how bad this country is, under the Emperor's rule, the people live relatively happily. There is the palace treasury and the Overwatch Council. If I don't mess around, at least these good days can be lived for a few more decades."
"As I said earlier, I am not even worthy of a heart of gratitude. Then, what right do I have to harm them just because of my own personal grudge? Throwing the world into turmoil, killing and burning everywhere, causing the world to fall apart, and causing them to suffer wretchedly, would I be happy? "
"If I choose that path for the sake of revenge, putting aside what that old cripple in heaven would think, I think mother would not be happy."
"Since I seek justice for them, then how could I choose a path they don't like?"
"I love the Qing Kingdom, so I hope that this is only a battle between the Emperor and me. This is only a matter between us. It is best not to drag too many people in."
"Before, someone said that one should walk the right path in this world. What is the right path? It is doing the right thing. However, I still don't understand. There is right and wrong here and there. How can I use my own right and wrong to judge the Emperor's right and wrong? How can I use my own right and wrong to judge the right and wrong of the world? What is the standard for determining right and wrong? "
"In the end, this can only be a subjective feeling."
"If the right path is doing the right thing, then the so-called right is the direction that allows one to have a clear conscience. Today, I entered the Palace to say and do all this to allow myself to have a clear conscience. "
…
…
Fan Xian spoke word by word slowly. He said most of what he had been thinking during these seven days. As for the remaining small portion, it involved the battle between him and the Emperor. It was not just today, but also a possible future battle. There was no benefit in saying more about this kind of mutual harm and probing. It would only be harmful.
"There are no true saints in this world." The Emperor lowered his eyelids slightly. A few snowflakes hung on his eyelashes. "Perhaps your mother counts as one. What you have said today is at least close to the true meaning of this world. If your mother knew that you had grown into such a young man, presumably she would feel very comforted."
Fan Xian looked calmly at the Emperor's thin face. Suddenly, for some reason, a wave of sympathy and sorrow that even he was afraid of welled up in the depths of his heart. These inappropriate emotions that appeared at inappropriate times made him feel terrified. Faced with such a snow-capped figure, what was there to sympathize with?
Perhaps he sympathized that the Emperor, until now, still saw Fan Xian as his proudest flesh and blood and had no idea that Fan Xian's body hid a soul that had long been set in stone. Perhaps Fan Xian sympathized that the Emperor had been kept in the dark by his acting skills. Even at the moment of life and death, Fan Xian still could not reveal his true feelings.
During these years, Fan Xian had played the role of a loyal official and filial son in front of the Emperor. Even though he had slaughtered his way through Jingdou and entered the Palace to face the reprimand, he still played the role of a pure, honest, and solemn one. Using his words as the edge and his performance as the blade, he had, step by step, pierced into the Emperor's heart.
This was a battle of the heart. Back then, Fan Xian had wanted to deal with the Northern Qi saint girl, Haitang Duoduo. He had begun his preparations in Jingdou, swayed in the North Sea, pretended to be drunk in a restaurant in Shangjing, shook and shook until they were together. Then, there was that touch of gentleness in Jiangnan. Finally, he had truly won this battle.
The Emperor was not Haitang. Fan Xian had acted longer in front of him and had worked harder. He didn't know if he could truly move the Emperor's heart that would not be melted by wind and snow. However, this act was destined to continue. Even if Fan Xian died to the Emperor's hand, it had to continue. If he didn't do this, he could not pull this person down from the altar and the throne. If he didn't do this, he could not protect the people Fan Xian wanted to protect.
The barefooted was not afraid of those wearing shoes. For Fan Xian to be so shameless and black-hearted to such an extent, to use killing against killing, the Qing Emperor was not an opponent that could be defeated so easily. Fan Xian was cold-blooded enough, but the Emperor was even more cold-blooded. Thus, the cold-blooded killing that could be seen today was all a foreshadowing and prelude.
The true curtains were about to be pulled open.
The wind and snow no longer swirled in the air. Instead, they fell straight down, turning from little flower buds into goose feathers. With a heavy sense of beauty, they landed on the Emperor and Fan Xian's bodies.
They walked from the Hall of Governmental Affairs to the depths of the Palace. After a long conversation, the zhenqi of the two circulations of different natures in Fan Xian's body had long been nurtured. His entire body had entered a realm without joy or sorrow. The zhenqi in his body was abundant to the extreme. He was only waiting for a snowflake to touch that moment.
In the wind and snow, the Qing Emperor stood with his hands behind his back. His body carried a natural and unparalleled might. He narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at Fan Xian with a mocking smile.
Fan Xian had long used the power of the wind and snow to release his power. Once it touched the area around the Emperor's body, it was as if it had run into an indestructible snowy mountain. It was unable to advance another step.
The realm of a Great Grandmaster was not something mortals could touch. The Qing Emperor only looked at Fan Xian coldly and indifferently. Wherever his gaze reached, Fan Xian was pressed into the snowy ground.
Ruler and subject, father and son, faced each other for a long time. The Emperor suddenly smiled mockingly. "Even if I want to help you feel at ease, it will take time."
After saying this, the Emperor put his hands behind his back. Raising his leg, he walked out with a single step.
…
…
Walking out, in the wind and snow filled with two waves of Tyrannical and powerful zhenqi, the Emperor left as he pleased. He did not care at all and was free and at ease. It was as if the current situation and the wild dance of the wind and snow could not stop his steps.
This step appeared simple. In reality, it had a deep meaning and was not simple at all.
Countless cracking sounds rang out clearly amidst the howling wind and snow. Fan Xian's feet, which were standing on top of the snow, suddenly sank an inch without reason.
With Fan Xian's feet as the center, countless thin cracks stretched out like lightning. However, they did not fade for a long time. Left on the snow, they were like spider webs. Although they were in the wind and snow, they did not break easily.
These thin cracks extended far and wide, and actually clearly revealed the black soil underneath. It looked like an indescribable rune that had a wonderful sense of beauty.
Fan Xian stood alone in the middle of these cracks. He was silent for a long time. His expression was calm and cold. He had exerted all his power, but he could not stop the Emperor from taking a single step. With that step, the Emperor easily walked out. It was as if he was no longer in this world.
He suddenly thought of Uncle Wu Zhu's words on the cliff in Danzhou, "Take off your clothes and go." The Emperor's step earlier had already perfectly reached the perfect realm of this saying. Not only had he thrown away his broken body, he had long walked out of this place.
However, Fan Xian did not feel any despair or disappointment. He knew that he was facing the only Great Grandmaster left in this land. He was already someone who was about to surpass the realm of mortals.
He thought for a moment in the snow. He then raised his knees and walked toward the little building, following the footprints the Emperor had left behind.
…
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