(It's been a long time since I wrote this. Little cotton-padded jacket refers to true love for each other. I hope everyone likes this chapter.)
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What Chen Pingping, sitting in the wheelchair, and the Emperor, sitting on the throne, talked about that night would remain a mystery until many years later. No one had the right to listen. Even Eunuch Yao, who never left the Emperor's side, was the same.
This conversation was actually similar to the two conversations outside the royal study within a year. The words came from the Emperor's lips, entered the official's ears, and did not pass to a third person. However, the present Jingdou had long known that the events of the past few months had all been secretly planned by the Emperor and Director Chen. The two of them were only waiting for the enemy hidden in the dark to jump out and then capture them all in one fell swoop. The Qing Emperor and Director Chen working together was truly too powerful. They were able to keep the entire Jingdou in the dark for half a month.
Only now did people remember that many years ago, Director Chen had accompanied the Emperor in his great undertaking of unifying the world. The old man in the wheelchair had saved the Emperor a few times, and the Emperor had also given him the greatest trust and honor. The older generation had never doubted Chen Pingping's loyalty to the Emperor. This was a fact that had long been proven by history. It was only now that it was once again reflected.
There were many speculations in the hearts of the people in Jingdou regarding this conversation.
That night, when Fan Xian left the Royal Palace and hurried toward his manor, he did not pay attention to the conversation in the royal study. He also did not think that this conversation would have anything to do with him. He guessed that the Emperor was just a bit lonely, while Chen Pingping was playing the role of a loyal official and temporary friend.
The reality was not far from his guess. From a certain point of view, Fan Xian and his old Emperor were truly similar. If the Qing Emperor was the best actor in the world, hiding it from the world for 20 years, then Fan Xian was the second best actor, hiding his thoughts in his heart and hiding it from the Qing Emperor.
This was an unprecedented battle of acting skills. It was a battle of the heart. Fan Xian lifted the curtain of the carriage and stared in a daze at the silent and uneasy Jingdou night streets. He thought gloomily that he had obtained the Emperor's absolute trust. He had won another battle in this battle, but, why fight? How would he fight in the future?
The worry and anxiety on his face were not faked, but came from the depths of his heart. Especially the complicated joy, worry, and bewilderment between his brows completely expressed his current mood.
Brushing past the wheelchair, Fan Xian lowered his head in greeting. He saw the glimmer of warmth and congratulations in Chen Pingping's old eyes. He immediately understood that Sisi had indeed been taken away by the Director. Since he had already returned to the capital, Sisi had also returned to the manor. However, he didn't know if she had given birth or if it was a boy or a girl.
Thinking of this, how could he still be in the mood to think about the conversation in the royal study? His entire heart had already returned to Fan manor. He urged his subordinates to whip the horses pulling the carriage. However, too many people had died these few days. Even though he knew that he might have become a father, Fan Xian only felt a faint satisfaction and not too much ecstasy. Wan 'er was grieving the death of her birth mother in the manor. After she returned to the manor, she didn't know how to deal with it.
The carriage did not stop at the front gate of Fan manor. Instead, it went straight in through a side alley and stopped at the corner gate left specially for the back garden. Without waiting for the carriage to come to a complete stop, Fan Xian had already jumped down from the carriage. Smiling, he glanced at the wife of the Teng family, who was welcoming him happily at the gate. He then walked toward his own manor. After a few steps, his smile disappeared.
It was not that he was purposely putting on an act. It was truly because the arrival of a new life could not wash away the smell of blood brought by so many deaths in Jingdou.
Walking past the Flower Hall and into the east wing, he was not surprised to find that the lights were still slightly lit. His father and Lady Liu were waiting for him in the room. The dim light shone on Minister Fan's face, illuminating his wrinkles and the joy in them. Minister Fan was looking at a baby in Lady Liu's arms. Although he managed to maintain the appearance of a stern master, he could not hide the joy in his eyes.
When Fan Xian entered, he first bowed to his father and Lady Liu. He did not glance at the baby in Lady Liu's arms. Instead, he turned his gaze directly to the side of the bed. He saw Wan 'er sitting by the bed, holding Sisi's hand and quietly saying something.
Wan 'er's eyes were red and swollen like pink peaches. She appeared very pitiful. Her face had also become much thinner and looked haggard. However, she forced a smile and chatted idly with Sisi, who was lying on the bed. After Fan Xian paused slightly, he walked over. Not caring that the two elders were in the room, he sat directly by Wan 'er's side. With a face full of smiles, he looked at Sisi, who was leaning against the pillow. He looked at the girl of the past and said, "You're already a mother. Why aren't you sleeping so late?"
Although Sisi had been frightened during the month she was about to give birth, she had the protection of the Overwatch Council. She had been taken to travel around Jingdou by Old Chen and had never been exposed to a cold. She had exercised more than a normal pregnant woman, so she looked more energetic than a normal pregnant woman. In addition, this girl had grown up with Fan Xian and had been influenced to be free and at ease. She had a broad mind and did not become haggard because of the birth of the baby. On the contrary, her face had a bit more plumpness. She looked more like a lovely young woman.
"Young Master, you sleep all day. How can you sleep?" Sisi was still used to calling him "Young Master." Her brows were full of joy and the pride of being a mother for the first time. However, she forcefully restrained her words. Although her personality was relaxed, she was not a heartless idiot. She knew that too many things had happened in the capital. The young mistress's heart was filled with grief. She did not want to display too much at a time like this.
However, after the young master entered the room, he did not even look at the baby in Lady Liu's arms and came to the side of the bed. Sisi began to ponder in her heart. Could it be that she had given birth to a daughter and the young master was not happy? Her eyes dimmed a little.
Even though Fan Xian was clever, he was still unclear about the thoughts of the women in the back of the manor. Looking at the girl's expression, he thought she was sad because she had no one to accompany her during childbirth. He smiled and prepared to open his mouth to comfort her.
He didn't understand, but Lin Wan 'er would understand, and Lady Liu would also understand. Seeing Lady Liu carrying the baby over to the bed, Wan 'er smiled and gave Fan Xian a look. Quietly, she said, "Go look at the girl."
Fan Xian was startled. He turned his head and saw Lady Liu looking at him with a slightly reproachful expression. Only then did he understand where the problem was. He smiled bitterly and took the baby from Lady Liu's arms. Carefully holding it in his hands, he looked at it and found that the baby in the swaddling clothes …
The little baby girl was not good-looking. Not only was she not as good-looking as Fan Xian, she was also not as good-looking as Sisi's big eyes. As he looked at her, he couldn't help but laugh. He felt that he was being a bit silly. A newborn baby naturally could not be said to be good-looking. As long as it was healthy, it was fine.
Lady Liu and the other three women saw him carelessly take the baby and were startled. They did not react and looked at him nervously, afraid that he did not know how to hold the baby. Lady Liu was about to reach out and snatch the baby back, but she did not expect Fan Xian to bend his left elbow slightly and support his neck with his arm. His right hand lightly clapped.
Seeing this, everyone let out a sigh of relief, including Minister Fan. They all looked at Fan Xian in surprise. Wan 'er, who had been depressed for a long time, could not help but secretly laugh. At this moment, Fan Xian only cared about looking at his daughter. How could he care about how others looked at him? He did not think that in this world, there were very few men who were willing to hold a child, especially in a rich family like theirs. Furthermore, he was so familiar with it, like he was an old nanny. Everyone was stunned.
Fan Xian held the baby and spoke gently to Sisi. "The situation has been unstable lately, and it has been hard on you. But you know me. It is not that I do not look at the child when I enter the house because I do not like my daughter. It is just that in my eyes, children are not as important as adults. Your safety is the most important thing."
Having been secretly reprimanded by Lady Liu and Wan 'er, Fan Xian naturally knew why Sisi had been sad. He smiled and explained a little. He did not take it to heart, but he did not think that when his words fell into Wan' er and Sisi's hearts, they each had different feelings.
Sisi's heart was filled with sweetness. She thought about when she was young, and how her young master had always muttered that giving birth was the hardest for a mother, and that giving birth to a boy or a girl was the same. Although she felt sweetness in her heart, she did not dare to show it too much in front of Wan 'er. She knew that the young mistress had always been very kind to her. Furthermore, these two years, she had wholeheartedly wanted a child, but she had always …
Thinking of this, Sisi missed the last two sentences of Fan Xian's words. She carefully glanced at the young mistress, who still had her head lowered and was smiling warmly. For some reason, her heart ached and she felt sad for the young mistress.
The women's thoughts were complicated, but Fan Xian held his daughter and looked closely at her. The more he looked, the more he liked her. When he had entered the room earlier, he had only cared about Sisi's body and Wan 'er's emotions. He had not thought much of his daughter. Now that he held her and felt the softness of this little body through the cloth, he looked at the wrinkles on his daughter's forehead, and watched his daughter occasionally purse her lips, his heart grew softer and softer.
This was the biggest difference between men and women. A woman had been pregnant for 10 months before giving birth to a child. They had already nurtured feelings for the child for 10 months. In addition, they had put in a lot of hard work and pain. Naturally, they had a strong indescribable warmth toward their child. A man's feelings, on the other hand, needed to be watched, held, and experienced before they would grow stronger.
Particularly for someone as busy as Fan Xian, he had not been by Sisi's side when she was pregnant, so he did not have strong feelings for this child. However, as he held her, the feeling came. Fan Xian held her more and more carefully. He stared in a daze at the little girl in his arms and thought, Was this my daughter? In the future, she would definitely be very beautiful. In the future, she would definitely be very shrewd. In the future … these tightly shut little eyes would also grow bigger and bigger, becoming more and more beautiful.
After his heart softened, it gradually became sour and sweet. For some reason, Fan Xian felt his nose was a bit stuffy. This kind of feeling was too complicated. Even he didn't know what words to use to describe it. He only knew one thing. His two lives, which had been filled with calamities and great luck, had finally been extended in this world.
In this moment, he thought that even if he died on the spot, he would have left something in this world. It was different from looking at the rows of books in the Jingdou government's Yin Sun family. This kind of feeling was stronger, more alive, and more strangely moving.
After holding for a while, Wan 'er, who was watching from the side, took the child under Lady Liu's guidance and Fan Xian's demonstration. She held the child in her arms with heartache.
According to the rules of this world, this was still her child. This kind of heartache was real. Fan Xian smiled slightly and looked at the pity and glimmer of curiosity in his wife's eyes. Only then did he remember that his wife was not very old. Under his care, she was not much different from a young girl. However, seeing Wan 'er holding the child, it seemed that some of the pain in his heart had lessened slightly. He felt much better.
It was already late at night. Everyone was a bit tired. However, this was the first life in the third generation of the Fan manor. Everyone was excited. Even Minister Fan did not shy away from staying in the room. He happily watched this scene and refused to rest.
In the end, it was Lady Liu who said a few words and had the old nanny and wet nurse, who had been waiting outside, come in. Holding the child, she stood to the side and urged everyone to rest early.
As Minister Fan was leaving, he suddenly thought of something. He prepared to call Fan Xian to the study to ask about the situation in the Palace and the Emperor's mood. Immediately after, he remembered that the child had been mentally and physically exhausted these days. With great difficulty, there was a joyous occasion. Why disturb him? So, he didn't open his mouth.
On the contrary, when the two elders left, Fan Xian happily asked, "Father, when I was in Jiangnan, I asked you to name her. What name did you give this girl?"
He asked happily, but Minister Fan glanced at Lady Liu with a complicated gaze. Shortly after, he calmly said, "As a girl, there is no rush in choosing a name. First, you can just call her by a nickname."
"Fan Xiaohua," Fan Xian smiled and said. "You've thought of a nickname a long time ago."
After these words were said, Lin Wan 'er and Sisi were both dissatisfied. They wondered how someone of their status could have such a common name. However, Sisi didn't dare open her mouth in front of everyone. Wan' er noticed the old man's expression. Her heart jumped, but she didn't say anything.
Fan Xian and Wan 'er met each other's eyes. Only then did they remember something. Their expressions did not look good. After Minister Fan and Lady Liu left, he couldn't resist shaking his head and sighing. Looking at his daughter in the old nanny's arms, he said, "Will this girl's name also have to wait for the Palace to bestow it?"
Hearing this, Sisi jumped in fright. What kind of explanation was this? Immediately after, she thought of the young master's other identity and quickly pressed her lips together, not daring to express any opinion.
Lin Wan 'er gazed at him and quietly said, "I heard the old master say that back then, your name … was also given by the Palace. I think it's not just a name. At the latest, the Emperor will have you bring the child into the Palace the day after tomorrow. Bestowing a name is a matter. The Palace will probably send a group of old nannies and wet nurses for you to choose. "
Fan Xian raised his eyebrows and smiled coldly. "Those old bastards in the Palace … if they come, then they come. I'll just raise them alone."
Now, he had the confidence to speak. He was someone who dared to slap even the empress dowager, let alone those old fish eyeballs. However, after these words were said, the nanny in the east wing holding the baby girl became afraid. The wet nurse behind her lowered her head and didn't dare to breathe too loudly.
Fan Xian glanced at them and calmly said, "I'll have to trouble you to take good care of the young lady, but there's no need for a wet nurse. Tomorrow, the mistress will speak with the mistress."
Lin Wan 'er glanced at him with confusion. What was her husband doing? Why was he kicking out the wet nurse? She watched as Fan Xian sat back down on the bed. Smiling, he asked Sisi, "Is there milk?"
Sisi blushed slightly and nodded. Fan Xian smiled and said, "Then it's settled. The child has to be raised by herself. What's the point of having a wet nurse nurse the child?"
Fan Xian thought, How do you people know the importance of breast-feeding? How much does colostrum sell for in the world? The doctor had said that the psychological effects of a mother breast-feeding a baby … He knew that no one in the world would understand these things if he told them, so he didn't discuss it with the two women and made his decision.
The wet nurse to the side lowered her head and didn't dare to say anything. She thought to herself, What's wrong with a wet nurse? The reason the Fan family was able to prosper was because the ancestors in Danzhou had nurtured a few children of the royal family. The old nanny heard something else and looked at the young master, dumbfounded. Was the young master going to let his aunt raise the young lady herself? That was against the rules. Tomorrow, she would have to talk to the master and mistress about it.
Fan Xian didn't know what the old woman was thinking, but he didn't care. He had worked hard in this world for 20 years. If he had to let others talk about how he raised his own daughter, then he would have lived his life in vain.
He sat by Sisi's side and said a few more words. He found that the girl was sleepy and forcing her eyes to stay open to talk. He couldn't bear it, so he smiled and said, "Hurry up and go to sleep. In the past, when we were in Danzhou, you were even lazier than me."
Seeing Sisi's hesitant expression, Fan Xian smiled and said, "You've been in the capital for a few years, and you've become muddle-headed. When you were little, I said that giving birth to a boy or a girl is the same. Although it's not a national policy, it's a family rule."
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When they returned to the master bedroom, a servant girl who had been rubbing her sleepy eyes brought hot water and prepared to serve the two masters to bed. Fan Xian waved his hand and shooed them out. He helped Wan 'er sit on the side of the bed and looked seriously into her eyes. He said, "I know the rules of the manor. The children of the mistress have to live with the first branch."
Tears swirled in Lin Wan 'er's eyes, but they didn't fall. These few days, she had suffered many blows. There was a lot of sorrow in her heart, but she had nowhere to pour it out. Sisi had returned home today. Although she remembered that the baby girl was Fan Xian's flesh and blood and was happy in her heart and even faintly grateful to Sisi, the emotions in her heart were incomparably complicated.
In particular, Fan Xian faintly revealed that he didn't want her to participate. After a few mixed emotions, it made Wan 'er sad uncontrollably. She was of noble birth and had a strange background. Her personality was like ice and snow. Her naivety was mixed with a hidden intelligence. In the end, she was still a woman. Any woman would always have a woman's meticulous thoughts.
Fan Xian looked at her calmly. He knew that the Eldest Princess's death, the Second Prince's death, and the bloodshed of the royal family had already made it difficult for his wife to bear the burden. Using the softest tone he could muster, he said, "You're thinking about it the wrong way, aren't you? I just don't want those nannies to taint our child … this child is still ours, but Sisi is her birth mother. We can't just carry her over like this. "
Lin Wan 'er sighed and gazed at her husband's face in front of her. In a quiet voice, she said, "You don't have to be so careful in front of me. I know you're worried about me." She forced a smile. "However, sometimes I do feel a bit jealous. Like the things you and Sisi sometimes say, I don't really understand. Something about national policy or family rules or something."
Fan Xian smiled helplessly. After all, Sisi had grown up with him. Just like how he used letters to educate his younger sister, there were some things that belonged to that life. He held his wife's hands and quietly said, "In the future … I'll tell you everything. Only we know. If other people want to know … heh, I won't tell them."
He paused and held his wife's hands tightly. Smiling, he said, "I'll tell you everything about carriages, bridal sedan chairs, cars, and cannons."
Lin Wan 'er was confused. She knew about carriages and bridal sedan chairs, but what were cars and cannons? She knew he was trying to coax her, so she forcefully hid the sorrow on her face. Lowering her head slightly, she said, "I actually want a child. Looking at my brothers' current situation, I don't know what will happen in the future. With a child, I'll have one more hope."
These words were spoken lightly, but it made Fan Xian's heart ache, particularly as he looked at Wan 'er's slightly thin face. Compared to two years ago, she was much thinner. Compared to Sisi on the other side, it was as if she had just given birth and lost her body. He felt even more pity for her. He knew what his wife was thinking. Furthermore, the development of the medicine should be almost complete, so he had a lot of confidence. With a teasing tone, he said, "Of course, we have to have a child. Let's give Little Hua 'er a little brother. This house will be lively."
Wan 'er only thought he was coaxing her. She smiled and didn't say anything. Fan Xian looked at her furtively and said, "However, it seems there are many steps to having a child. Speaking of which, we haven't been intimate in more than half a year."
Lin Wan 'er smiled and spat at him. Shortly after, she remembered that her husband was purposely teasing her. Thinking of his kindness and attentiveness, she felt even more sorrow. Fan Xian was only joking. So many people had died in the Palace. How could the husband and wife be in the mood to do such things? He stood and brought over the basin of slightly warm water. Placing it in front of the bed, he directly took off Wan 'er's shoes and socks, giving her a fright.
"I'll wash your feet. Running around in and out of the Palace these days, you must have suffered a lot." Fan Xian lowered his head and placed his wife's bare feet into the basin. Stirring up the hot water, he gently rubbed them.
Lin Wan 'er looked at his hair and felt the threads of warmth coming from her feet. Her nose ached and she began to cry soundlessly. Fan Xian lowered his head. Without raising it, he knew she was crying. He knew his wife's pain, but he couldn't find any words to comfort her. He could only silently help her wash her feet. Uncontrollably, there were countless more sorrows in his heart.
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